Hey, will you look at that! I'm back! Though not really 'back' back I'm afraid. Life in this new town won't leave me as much time to write, so updates will be slower; I'll try every other weekend.

Anyway, Tony and Loki have finished digging, so hopefully things will be less depressing now! Or will it? :p

PREVIOUSLY ON ASAF: Tony smirked. "You're finally looking your real age, darling."

Loki passed a hand over his hair, trying to shake cement dust out of his braid. "And you don't need any filth to look yours, dear."

"Ouch! But you're right. I'm a poor old mortal and this suitcase is soooo heavy. Care to help a guy out?"

Loki rolled his eyes but took the Mark V anyway. Someone thrust bottles of water in their hands, and they were off to the car, ready to start the whole locate-and-dig-and-save-people job all over again. It was going to be a long yet fulfilling day.

CHAPTER 21

Tony let himself fall into an armchair – contrary to his couches, his armchairs were plush and soft – and sank into it, feeling as if he would never be able to get up again. Every single muscle in his body was protesting the rough treatment they'd had today, and he felt like he would fall asleep on the spot if he wasn't as ravenous as he was. He blindly groped the side-table, too comfortable to lift his head, found the paper bag and grabbed the first thing inside. A cheeseburger. Yeah, that would do.

After the first Leviathan crash-site, they'd gone to the two others before touring all the destroyed buildings in the publicly accessible areas as well. Luckily, Captain America had been called in from the second crash-site on, so the heavy lifting they'd had to do had been easier than the first one. Still, even if Tony didn't really lift everything himself and the strength came from the suit, he was dead on his feet – nothing may have been all that heavy, but he'd moved all day, like a continuous workout session. Around 2 PM May had shoved a ham sandwich and a bottle of water in his face – the task she'd been given hadn't been to her taste, because she had looked awfully sour while doing it – and they'd worked until 8, practically non-stop. That explained why he was such a tired and hungry mess. But hey, they'd saved about forty people, that made all this worth it, right?

Loki was sitting on the couch opposite him, looking unseeingly at rest of the room behind Tony, and mindlessly munching on his own share of greasy fast-food things; three big paper bags worth. While Tony had merely been drenched in sweat, Loki had been exposed to all the dust of the collapsed buildings, and he looked more like a black and white version of himself – except for the emerald eyes that now stood out even more starkly. Tony did his best not to look at them too often.

At least it was only dust – the Cap' had managed to convince Loki to wear gloves and a dust-mask even though Loki, fashionista that he was, had protested for at least ten minutes. But Steve Rogers could be frightfully convincing, especially when he looked at you with his baby blues just so, and even the so-called Trickster God hadn't been able to resist. Anyway, with the dust and the gloves and the mask, the pictures must have been really classy. At least Tony looked as cool as ever, even dusty and in an old suit. Loki probably didn't know that those pushy people with cameras where members of the press, and that rather unflattering photos were going to be splattered over the newspapers tomorrow. Especially those of them holding hands, he was sure. The tabloids were going to have a field day, and Pepper would have his head.

But all that didn't matter. What mattered was that they'd saved lives, and that now they could, after their meal and a shower, crash head first on the bed and sleep for two days straight. Or, well, Tony at least. Loki would probably be completely fit, and bored, tomorrow. What he wouldn't give to have a bit of 'non-mortal' energy right now.

Tony had almost finished half of his food stack – Loki was swallowing whole what looked like his last French fries – when J.A.R.V.I.S. interrupted him mid-chew. "Sir, incoming call from Colonel Rhodes." That, at least, gave Tony the energy to sit up.

"Put him through."

"Tony?"

"Hey Rodhey!"

"I saw you on TV. Digging people out of the rubble. I saw the footage of you flying a missile through a hole in the sky too. Alien invasion, man! And you don't even call! Not that I'm surprised, but still. You could at least let me know if you're all right, you know."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry. But, well, you're not the only one. I also forgot to call Pepper."

"I know. She called."

"Ah."

"Yeah." There was an awkward pause. "I'm sorry, man. But Tony, I just… I always thought that maybe… God, this is hard."

"If you're gonna talk feelings, Rhodes, let me stop you right there."

"I know, you don't wanna talk about it. And you're never gonna want to, are you? God knows I don't want to have this kind of conversation with you, but somehow I always end up drawing the short straw. What happened, Tony?"

"Well, you know, aliens attacked, I joined a group of superheroes, made knew friends, kicked some arse, just a regular day for Iron Man, you know how it goes."

"Tony…," was Rhodey's exasperated response, just as Tony had expected it to be.

"What, Rhodey?"

"Are you really gonna make me say it?"

"Well, duh! I don't want to talk about it, so unless you bring the subject up…"

"How wasn't that bringing the subj—"

"As you are occupied, I shall use your 'shower' first," Loki said from Tony's right – when had the bugger even stood up? Not that Tony had been paying attention, he'd completely forgotten he was there in the first place.

"Yeah, sure. Make yourself at home and all that."

Loki quirked an eyebrow. "I don't need to 'make' myself at home. This, unfortunately, is my home, as much as it is yours."

"Unfortunately? You got something against my beautiful tower?"

Loki simply smirked and walked away, the arsehole. He could at least have said what his problem was! Tony's tower was awesome! Even Loki wouldn't be able to deny that! And if he did, it would be a lie, no doubt about it!

"Er, Tony? Who was that?"

"Oh, just my soulmate, never mind."

"Your what?"

"The reason me and Pepper broke up."

"You shouldn't lie to your friends, Tony," came from the still open bathroom door.

"I'm not lying! If this whole invasion hadn't happened, I'd still be with Pepper! And if you hadn't been held by Thanos, then this invasion wouldn't have happened this way either! So, because you were there, Pepper and me broke up! Not a lie!"

Loki reappeared in the doorframe, his bare chest, free of dust, contrasting starkly with the rest of his greyish dirty skin. "You are right. If the events had been different, your lover would not have left you at this time. However, I don't think you truly believe that my presence is what ultimately caused the ruin of your relationship."

"Tony? Who. Is. That?"

"How come you don't know? I thought you talked to Pepper?"

"I don't think she mentioned you being with a guy, Tony. And anyway, she was crying, so I'm lucky if I understood half of what she said."

Tony swallowed. He didn't want to imagine how bad that conversation had been. He didn't want to imagine Pepper crying because of him. Again. She always cried because of him. She probably was better off without him. He hadn't even shed a tear. He had barely thought about her since she left him, filling his time with work, and with Loki. He definitely was an arsehole.

"So, what the hell happened?"

"It's a long story," Tony answered, and Rhodey's sigh was very loud indeed.

"Tony and I are soulmates," Loki oh-so-helpfully provided. "When souls are born, they are divided in two, and usually reunited in death. On extremely rare occasions, two half-souls can meet in the world of the living and fuse, connecting their recipients and making them, it would seem, inseparable."

"Hey, why didn't I get an explanation like this one? Why did I get the whole Yggra-tree thing and Fate Ladies and all that weird shit?"

"I have learned since then how ignorant mortals are."

"Gee, thanks for insulting my whole species!" Tony said, crossing his arms a bit too quickly, making it look like a defensive move. "Weren't you gonna take a shower or something?"

"How could I? You have yet to introduce me correctly to your…" Loki trailed off, lifting an inquiring eyebrow.

"Best friend." The second eyebrow went up as well. Tssk, as if Tony couldn't have enough friends to have 'best friends' or something! "Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes. Also known as War Machine ever since he stole one of my suits."

"You said I could keep it."

"As if you'd give it back even if I asked you to. And anyway, you sent me that very nice 'I'm so sorry please let me keep it it's so awesome' postcard that I framed and hung on my wall, so I guess we're even."

Loki's sigh was accompanied by a lot of impatience. "Why don't you introduce yourself then?" Tony asked, irritated.

"Very well. I am Loki of Asga—" Loki paused, clenched his jaw, and Tony was sure he could feel the same tightening of his chest that Loki was feeling. "I am Loki, formerly of Asgard. And as Tony's soulmate, I am both a friend, brother, lover" – shivers ran down Tony's spine at these words – "and yet none of those things."

"Right… I can't say I understand much but… Where's Asgard?"

"He's an alien, Rhodey. From another planet."

"Asgard is not—"

"If you're not taking that shower, then I'll go first." Loki threw him a glare, but disappeared inside the bathroom without a word nonetheless.

"Wait. Is he the one you were holding hands with on TV today? That was a guy?"

"Well, technically he's an alien, so it's different. But yeah, he's pretty much a guy. What did you think he was, a woman?" A chuckle escaped Tony at the thought of anyone thinking that Loki of all people was a woman. Come on! Sure, he had long hair, but that was, like, the only womanly part about him!

Rhodey's silence was rather telling. "What? You thought Loki was a woman?"

"What else was I supposed to think? You were holding hands! And anyway, the shot was from pretty far away, and only from the back! I mean, come on, Tony! Of course I'd think you were with a woman! I thought that that was why Pepper broke up with you!"

"What, because I'd cheated? I don't cheat, Rhodey!"

"How am I supposed to know that? You've never truly had a girlfriend before Pepper, you know. And before that, well. You've always liked variety, shall we say."

Rhodey's lack of faith was like a stab in the back. That other people would believe that Tony was a cheating arsehole, that was to be expected. But that even Rhodey would suspect him of doing such a thing… But maybe it was also Tony's fault. He called Rhodey his best friend, but they barely spent any time together.

"Hey Rhodes. Think you can get a day off for some much-needed revision on your War Machine suit?"

"Is that your way of asking me to come over and meet your… whatever he is?"

"Soulmate. And no, I'm not kidding, that's the technical, scientific term the alien magic-wielding specialists gave me. But don't go imagining any romantic bullshit. And no, that's not why I want you to come."

"What? Need a shoulder to cry on?" Definitely not. "A buddy to drink beer with?" Well, he'd prefer something stronger, to be honest. "Still, I want to meet your… boyfriend." Tony could hear the smirk in that voice.

"He is not my boyfriend! I don't do boyfriends! You know I don't. Didn't we just talk about this?" Tony let his head fall back on the armchair, gaze fixed on the ceiling, and sighed. "Whatever. I just… need a familiar, friendly face right about now. And you haven't seen my Tower yet anyway. Just don't mind the half-destroyed state of it."

"Do I get to meet Captain America and the rest of… What was it? The Avengers?"

"Since when am I not enough reason to fly all the way over here?"

"Since I got fed up with your bullshit, Tony; I know, it took a while. But then I flew in one of your suits and got infected by your cooties, and I'm suddenly Tony-Stark-bullshit resistant. But yeah, I'll come."

"Awesome! I'll fill the fridge with beer. Just don't take too long, or someone else might have taken them all."

"I'll see what I can do. If I promise the higher-ups an upgrade on the suit, they should let me go ASAP."

"An upgrade, huh? I guess I could do that. See you soon, then."

"In a few days or so, yeah. Bye, Tony."

"Bye, Rhodey."

Tony extended his arm again towards his food supply, but it was too far now with the way he was sprawled in his armchair. The effort to sit up straighter and lean over felt like too much right now, though. He closed his eyes against the bright electric light, and concentrated on the surrounding sounds instead. The bathroom was silent – with the sound-proof walls he wouldn't be able to hear anything anyway – so he listened to the slight hum-like feeling of the bond.

XXXxxxXXXxxxXXXxxxXXXxxxXXX

Loki had stood naked and dry in the shower stall for a while, filth-crusted skin itching for a cleansing spell – or for its imperfect mortal equivalent, water and soap – while he breathed as silently as he could, and listened. The voices had been so faint he had barely been able to catch all the words, but he had been able to hear enough. Especially when it came to his soulmate's vehement protests about any relationship with a male. His hand had slapped the tiles reflexively, cracking one of them slightly, while he clenched down on the soul bond, trying to hide the sudden acute pain that metaphorically pierced his chest at the confirmation of Tony's lack of interest.

He was being so very pathetic! He had told himself not to think about it, about Tony, not to get his hopes up in any way, and still he lost control and let himself be hurt by the mere proof of what he already knew. For there had been no lie in Tony's words, of course. Tony would not consider him as a potential mate. They're souls may be one, but that was the only thing that would ever unite them. They're bodies would stay apart as much as they could, touching only for the sake of the bond, and they're hearts… Loki had always wanted, desired, hungered for someone to call his own, someone who would never forsake him, no matter how many mistakes he made – the Norns knew he made too many – and who better but his soulmate to fulfil the role no one else had ever even tried to audition for? And yet, Tony did not feel the same.

When silence reigned in the other room, Loki turned on the water at its strongest setting and tried to let his stupid, pathetic pain flow away in rivulets, along with the dust that covered him. He had to use the different soaps more than once to get rid of everything, but then he was finally clean, and almost calm. He knew this was how it was going to be. He had sensed it from the beginning. Nothing good ever happened to him anyway. Finding his soulmate was just a curse among the multitude of misfortunes he had been subjected to. He was Lady Fate's favourite play thing after all.

When he stood in the bathroom with only towels to clad himself, he remembered that his clothes – or rather, the clothes J.A.R.V.I.S. had provided him with for the time being – were still in the room downstairs. He opened the door to the bedchamber to find that nothing had changed; Tony was still sprawled in the same armchair, staring at the ceiling. When Loki walked passed, his eyes followed him, and Loki heard him hurriedly get up when his hand landed on the wardrobe door.

"Oh, yeah, hey, I started emptying some shelves for your stuff," Tony said while walking over. Indeed, three small shelves were empty, which was not even a tenth of the space provided for Tony's clothes. "Don't worry, I'll make more space. This was just a quick fix, just to put away the clothes you have for now. Which aren't here. They're still in the other room, right? D'you, erm… D'you want me to go get them, or…"

"Or?" Loki asked, lifting an eyebrow. What would his very fatigued-looking soulmate do? Go down to fetch his clothes, or, what? Let him pick something too small from the closet again?

"Or… nothing. You're not gonna walk down in a towel, right? So… Yeah, I'll go."

Tony walked out of the closet-room again, and Loki followed him. Tony continued towards the door, but Loki stopped, listening. Faint footsteps could be heard in the corridor, approaching their room at a brisk pace. Tony's hand had almost grabbed the doorknob when the person knocked, and the Midgardian took a startled step back. Recognising the magical signature, Loki shouldered passed him and opened the door.

On the other side of the threshold, Phil Coulson had his hand up in a knocking position, and he lowered it slowly, eyeing Loki's towel-clad form with lifting eyebrows. "Hello. I was led to believe that this was Mr. Stark's room?"

"It is," Tony said from behind him. "What do you want, Phil?"

"Oh, nothing much. I'm staying in your tower. Indefinitely. Just thought I'd tell you. And you're A.I. gave me a room, but the last occupant left some clothes there, so I thought I'd bring them up while I was at it. Looks like that was a good thing. You seem in dire need of them, Mr Friggason."

Loki accepted the bags and walked towards the wardrobe again. He stopped, and without looking back, answered: "I thank you, Coulson, however I would prefer you not to assume I am in dire need of anything. For all you know, I would not have needed clothes at all."

He heard Tony's sudden intake of breath accompanied by surprise and a sudden mix of embarrassment and some unidentifiable feelings coming from the bond. Loki quickly resumed his previous pace and walked – hid, if he was honest – within the safety of the closet. The door closed behind him on its own, probably through the thoughtfulness of J.A.R.V.I.S., and Loki leaned against it, the bags hitting the floor with a soft thump.

Why in Yggdrasil's name did he have to say such a thing? He was only torturing himself at this point, bringing images to the forefront of his mind that would never happen. Washing and changing clothes were probably going to be the only instances of nudity in these rooms that both involved Tony and him – any such event remaining separate, of course. By implying anything that might go beyond friendship – and he was not even sure if that was on the table – he might turn Tony against him before they even really knew each other! Alienating one's soulmate in a matter of days. That may even be a new record! And of course Loki would be the one who had the privilege of setting such a record. Did he not always?

An awkward silence had settled on the bedchamber for a short while, but Loki knew that both Tony and Coulson had not moved from their previous positions. He heard Tony clear his throat. "So you're staying, huh? Just like that. Wasn't Clint being a good enough spy for Fury?"

"I don't think he is, no. But Director Fury didn't send me."

"Oh, volunteering your services, are you?"

Coulson chuckled. "Not exactly. Fury doesn't know I'm here. He'll know soon enough, of course. But he owes me a real vacation, you see, and I intend to do that while staying here. You do know how to make a nice building, after all."

"Nice? Nice? I'll let you know my tower is awesome!"

"One more reason to stay, then. I'll serve as liaison between the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D.. That way you won't be driving Fury insane with the stunts you usually pull, because I'll be watching you."

Tony snorted loudly enough for Loki to hear the derision in it clearly. "You think you being here is gonna stop me?"

"Stop you, maybe not. Make you think twice about it, I certainly hope so. I'd advise you to, anyway."

"Right. So instead of going to Hawaii or wherever you went—"

"Tahiti. It's a magical place."

"Right. If it's magical I wouldn't go there if I were you."

"It's just a figure of speech, Stark," Coulson sighed, somewhat irritated; the first true emotion he had shown all evening.

"You can just say it, you know. You want to stay here because of the Capsicle." The silence stretched after Tony's words, and smugness spiked through the bond. "Ha! I knew it!"

"So, Loki and you. Sharing rooms already, I see."

The smugness died down immediately. "Yes, well, we're soulmates, so."

"Yes, I was wondering how that worked. Is it like love at first sight?"

"What? NO! Are you crazy?" Tony sounded slightly panicked. "It's just that there is a stupid rule where we need to touch for a few hours a day to… keep the soul bond healthy or whatever."

"Did Loki tell you that?"

"We found it out together. And anyway, even if he did simply tell me, he wouldn't lie."

"Are you sure you're all right, Stark? You are trusting Loki, of all people. You. Trusting an alien you met on the opposite side of a war. Sure, he was being real nice today, but he isn't known as the Trickster for nothing. And you still trust him?"

"Crazy, right?" Yes, it certainly was. Just as crazy as Loki trusting Tony, a notoriously reckless mortal. "But I'm thinking that the 'I can feel when you lie' and 'I can kinda feel what you're feeling' helps a lot." It certainly did. Loki had never gotten so close to someone in such a short amount of time, and they had barely talked of anything significant! And yet the amount of information they had about each other just through what they could feel was staggering.

While Loki changed into pyjama bottoms, Coulson bade Tony good night, and when Loki walked out of the wardrobe the bathroom door clicked shut, and the shower began running not soon after. Loki sat down on his side of the bed, trying not to think of what sharing a bed often implied, or how his soulmate was naked right now, running his hands over his bare skin. It had been quite a long time since Loki had been intimate with anyone. The last time was almost half a century ago; he had been caught in bed with a Ljósálfr – a male Ljósálfr of low birth – which had resulted in public humiliation and any potential partner refusing his advances in fear of being disgraced. Strangely enough, Thor had never heard of the incident. If he had, he might not have been as quick to defend Loki's honour when he thought Barton was calling him argr. At that point, most of the Asgardian court and beyond already knew he was.

Loki wondered for a moment if his tendency to not care about his partner's sex was simply due to his own hermaphrodite origin. He had not known that he was not purely male, and yet perhaps the truth of his blood had influenced his choices nonetheless. Or, his Jötunn true body made no difference at all when it came to his preferences – or lack thereof. Either way, he had lain with both male and female partners in the past, and now he had no problems at all imagining himself with Tony. He was his soulmate; Fate probably wanted him to imagine that scenario. It was only natural, was it not? And yet, he could not have the real thing, unsurprisingly. Because he lived as male, because he was a hideous monster beyond his glamour – no matter what Tony said about liking blue skin. They would never truly be one. Fate was cruel after all.

The feelings of warmth, contentment and relaxation that had been coming through the bond slowly transformed into concern when the water stopped running, and Loki realised his hold on his mental shielding was anything but perfect. He smothered their connection reflexively, and even though Tony's feelings were now muffled, he knew the concern spiked the moment he clamped down on the bond. The next moment, a very wet Tony stepped out of the bathroom, and Loki had to force his eyes away. He fisted the sheets and looked at the lights of the city instead.

"Are you okay? Don't tell me you're brooding all alone out here because you're already lacking my charming company?"

"I really need to search for the Midgardian definition of 'charming'."

"Tsss! As if a dictionary would help. There's no guy more charming than Tony Stark, baby, anyone could tell you that!" Loki saw Tony designating his whole body from the corner of his eye while he spoke, and his gaze could only turn to him and follow the movement. Charisma had no true correlation to physical attributes – it was not charm that made the droplets gliding down Tony's throat, down over tan skin, down over the scars and around the Arc reactor, down a slightly toned stomach until it was absorbed by the towel haphazardly wrapped around the man's hips, so mesmerizing. No, charm was in that blinding smile that was now disappearing, now that Loki's gaze had glided down Tony's body in a manner obviously beyond friendly.

His soulmate cleared his throat. "Right. Seems like you get it. Awesome. I'll just… put some clothes on. Yep. Be right back." And he hurriedly disappeared into the closet.

Fantastic. Now Tony was feeling just as awful as he was, but for different reasons entirely. And Loki was being way too obvious. Soon, his soulmate would not even want to stay in the same room as him for fear of being violated by Loki's staring, accompanied by indecent thoughts. Loki stood up, threw the covers aside, and got into bed, looking at the ceiling. Today really hadn't been a good day. Digging up trapped mortals for hours on end – having to stop from time to time when they stumbled upon mangled bodies – and holding Tony's hand so many times, as a poor substitute of things he could not have. He did not want to want Tony in any way; he did not want to want him physically, he did not want to want him romantically… And yet it looked like all that was starting to happen anyway, without his consent. Damn his traitorous heart!

Tony reappeared, wearing – unsurprisingly – a night garment that covered him almost entirely, leaving only hands, feet and head bare. That was proof enough that Loki had made him uncomfortable with his wandering eyes. Silently, Tony walked around the bed and slipped under the covers on his side of the bed. They laid there for a while, lights dimmed but not fully switched off.

"Hand," Tony said after a while, and Loki immediately thrust his hand to the middle of the bed, where its warmer counterpart seized it. The bond sang its reconnection, and Loki closed his eyes, just feeling. They might not have needed any touching tonight – they had touched intermittently all day – but if Tony had not realised that this might not be necessary… Loki certainly was not the one who would tell him otherwise.

"Good night, Loks."

"Sleep well, Tony."

And silence reigned for a long time.

Firstly, awwww, Loki, darling! And secondly, come on Tony, even if Loki is a guy, he's gorgeous, how can you not fall for all that? *designates Loki from head to toe* And anyway, he's your soulmate. It's destiny. You can't stop that :p

So, the new update will be two weeks from now, and we'll see if I can keep that up with all the work I'll have to do. Let's cross our fingers and hope for the best!

Spread the Luv!

LL