Woah! I finished just in time! I have even less time to write than I thought. Some parts of this were written while having a fever, so if it gets weird, that might be why.

PREVIOUSLY ON ASAF: "Hand," Tony said after a while, and Loki immediately thrust his hand to the middle of the bed, where its warmer counterpart seized it. The bond sang its reconnection, and Loki closed his eyes, just feeling. They might not have needed any touching tonight – they had touched intermittently all day – but if Tony had not realised that this might not be necessary… Loki certainly was not the one who would tell him otherwise.

"Good night, Loks."

"Sleep well, Tony."

And silence reigned for a long time.

CHAPTER 22

Tony couldn't sleep. He was exhausted, his muscles felt like lead, his mind was sluggish as hell, but he couldn't sleep. And that was extremely annoying. Unlike yesterday, the reason why he couldn't sleep wasn't because of some outside force – AKA the bond. He was holding Loki's hand, and the bond was as strong as it could be. Sure, holding hands was damned awkward, but it wasn't like it hadn't happened before, so that shouldn't stop him from sleeping. And it didn't. Not really. But at the same time, it did.

The problem were the thoughts running through Tony's head. He just couldn't stop thinking. If those thoughts had been amazing ideas for new tech, or silly ideas for useless inventions, he would have been okay with it. That happened reasonably often, and he'd just give up on sleep and work for a bit, and all would be fine. Now, though, his thoughts concerned none other than Loki, and that was annoying. Very annoying.

And the most annoying thing of all was that he didn't know what to think. Loki was his soulmate. That in itself was crazy already. But even if he ignored that that little titbit of information was awkward as fuck, and even if he pretended that it was pretty normal to suddenly have to share your life with some random person in the name of 'fate', it – or rather, Loki – made no sense. Or, well, it wasn't that Loki made no sense. Tony probably just didn't understand him. Yet. The guy was an alien, so that was probably normal anyway. What made no sense was Loki and him being soulmates. Who in God's name had made them soulmates? Okay, so they probably weren't made soulmates, they already were before they were born, but why where their half-souls-or-whatever born in a way that made them like this? In a way that made them who they were right now?

Because right now, Tony didn't see what they had in common that would make all this being-soulmates shit okay. To be honest, Loki was kind of fucked up. Sure, Tony was too, but not as much. Probably. It was kinda logical that Loki would've lived through way more shit than Tony, so he should be way more fucked up as a consequence.

From what he'd understood so far, a lot of bad things had happened to him. Stuff like being betrayed by a father figure and all that – yeah, maybe a bit like with Obadiah, but worse because he'd thought Odin was real his father? Then again, had Odin tried to kill Loki? 'Cause Obie had tried to kill him, so that may actually be worse. But the way Tony understood it, Loki had always felt stuck in Thor's shadow, trying to be accepted by Odin even though he wasn't as perfect a son as Thor – and being adopted made that seem all the more impossible. Tony had always looked for Howard's approval as well. But Howard was dead. A video with 'Tony, you are my greatest creation' was not the same as a chance to hear even the slightest praise from a father who was still alive. Loki could still have that someday. Perhaps. If he didn't fuck up even more than he'd already done.

They probably both attracted trouble. Tony certainly did. And the way Loki always spat out the word 'fate' like it was a curse probably meant shit always happened to him too; he couldn't have instigated all that trouble himself – he was an intelligent guy, if it was his fault he'd do something about it, surely. The both of them together had to be the worst idea ever; trouble times trouble just made things expansionally worse.

So yeah, Lady Fate or whatever had kind of fucked up the whole soulmate thing. Sure, they'd both led privileged – yet also shitty – lives from what Tony understood, and some might say that at least that way they would be able to 'get' each other; that was nice and all, but how was that enough to make them, like, best buddies all of a sudden? How did 'misery loves company' make a good relationship? Especially a relationship as complicated and intimate as the one forced upon them by the bond?

There was no way Loki wasn't going to get fed up with him real soon. Everybody did. Even Pepper after a while. They all needed a break from Tony at some point. And Loki wouldn't be able to get away at all. And there were a lot of people Tony couldn't stand for long as well, so between him being Iron Man and Loki being an alien ice-man-wizard and all that, the situation might get rather explosive.

Unless somehow, miraculously, Loki was the exception to every rule. Unless somehow, they became, like, best friends and as close as family or something, and didn't feel the need to throttle each other every day. Unless somehow, Tony managed to dredge up every ounce of patience he had so that they could survive this marriage-like closeness – and if Loki did the same; he didn't look like a very patient guy to Tony. So yeah, they were doomed unless Fate was actually an intelligent woman-alien-goddess and had done her job correctly, and Loki was one of the rare people Tony could like. But that would be believing in, and trusting, the Fate lady, and Tony had no reason to do that. So they were probably fucked.

And anyway, if Fate had thought them perfect for each other, she had majorily fucked up on one very important point; they were both guys. Well, kinda. Right? Visually, yes. And mentally too. That was what was important, right? Fate just didn't take that into account, if Fate existed. If it was all a mere coincidence, then it wasn't surprising that it didn't work. But if a Lady Fate there was, she had only looked at the theoretical capacity of making kids.

Woah, woah, woah! Kids? He hadn't thought of that! He'd never had any intention of having children, so he hadn't thought of this but... If Loki was a hermaphrodite, if he was both male and female, then that meant he could... bear a child, right? Tony couldn't even imagine how that must be. For Loki to find out suddenly that he could both father and bear children. He couldn't imagine Loki with a baby bump. That was just wrong. He could understand very well how Loki didn't want to think of himself as anything other than male, as he'd always thought he was.

Still, he wasn't male physically, and Tony couldn't help but wonder what that involved exactly; he was a scientist, and even though biology wasn't really his thing, xenobiology was another matter entirely – especially since it involved his soulmate. He really wanted to do as many tests as he humanly could to find out what Jötunn biology was like. And that included of course the mystery of the somehow double sexual organs. It was kinda wrong to be wondering these things while actually holding Loki's hand, but still, he was curious. He had always thought of two states of being: male OR female. So what's a hermaphrodite like?

"If you are asking what it's like to be one, then I am… uncertain."

Tony eye's widened. Shit, did he say that out loud? How much did he say out loud? And since when was Loki awake? The bond had been quiet, so Tony had assumed Loki was sleeping. "Did I wake you? Sorry."

"No, I could not sleep. And neither could you, it would seem. You have been thinking a lot. The bond was very loud."

"Oh. Yeah. I still need to learn that shielding thing. But let's go back to what you just said." Tony rolled on his side, bringing their joined hands to pillow height which forced Loki to face him as well for comfort's sake. Tony pushed the covers down a bit, and the muffled light of his Arc reactor made Loki's eyes glow slightly. "Just to be clear. There is no denying that you are a hermaphrodite, so… You don't know what it's like to be you?"

"I don't know what it's like to be something not entirely male. I have always been male, in my mind. Though I have shapeshifted into a female form once."

"You've been a woman?" Tony just couldn't imagine what that looked like. "Wha— How was it?"

"I didn't remain in that form for long. It was very… different. Yet the same. It was rather disturbing. I prefer using illusions instead."

"What's the difference?"

"Illusions only give the exterior appearance of something, while shapeshifting means physically becoming something."

"Right. Have you ever shapeshifted into something weird?" Loki remained silent for a minute, which Tony took for the 'yes' it was. He grinned. "Come on, tell me."

Loki grimaced in the faint light. "I would advise not to shapeshift into anything with more than two legs."

"Duly noted. Not that little human me needs to remember that. So, what did you transfigure yourself into? What's your Animagus form?" He hoped it was something embarrassing – it seemed like it hadn't been a very nice experience after all.

"I will leave that to your boundless imagination."

Yep, embarrassing it had been. Tony would have liked to know, though. "You're no fun," he said in a pouty voice, but Loki's stare remained unwaveringly unimpressed. "So, you're really only a hermaphrodite physically when you're Jötunn, right? How do you feel when you turn blue?"

"I feel no different." Tony gave him a look, and Loki amended: "I do feel different, but not because of my genitals, I'm sure."

"Well, maybe that's because you're still kind of half male. Or because it's the body you were born with."

"Perhaps."

"How different is it anyway?"

Loki sighed, and Tony could feel a twinge of annoyance coming from him. "How different is what?"

"Your Jötunn body. I mean, you've checked yourself out in the mirror, right? Gotta have. That's like the first thing I would do in your place."

Loki's eyebrows went up. "Would you? Would you really want to look at yourself and not see yourself, but a monster looking back?"

Oh, for God's sake! "There we go again," Tony sighed. He closed his eyes for a second, trying to push down the annoyance of having to repeat himself. "You're not a monster! You're just as… as… you, whatever the skin colour."

"Just as 'me'?"

"Yeah, you know. God, you're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" Tony felt like somehow, though, Loki wasn't doing it on purpose. He took a deep breath and rolled on his back, slinging his free arm over his eyes. He took a deep breath. "Whatever your skin, you're gorgeous. There. You happy now, making me spout embarrassing stuff?" Nope, his face wasn't heating up. It wasn't! Fuck, almost complete darkness was awesome for a good reason.

"No," Loki said clearly; that was a huge big fat lie and they both knew it. What Tony wasn't sure of was the true meaning behind his soulmate's 'happiness'; was he glad Tony embarrassed himself with that weird though heartfelt compliment – he could find a guy objectively gorgeous without it meaning anything else, right? Or was Loki glad because at least one person found the body he hated beautiful? It was probably both. There was no way Loki wouldn't like to see him embarrass himself.

Well, in for a dime, in for a dollar. A little bit more embarrassement wouldn't kill him. Probably. Loki had been kind of forthcoming so far, so Tony might be able to learn more if he just asked. And the curiosity was gnawing away at him. How to ask, though, was another matter.

"Well… Erm, as a hermaphrodite, you're, like… You said you were, like… half male, half female, so…" God, he was making no sense whatsoever.

"To you I believe I would simply look male." Aaaand Loki understood he meant physically. That guy was a genius. Thank God. Or the Norns or the tree or whatever.

"Right. So there is no, errr. No extra…" Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell was he saying? Or not saying, for that matter. Hello, brain! Please give me back my eloquence!

"Hole?" Oh God! Oh God, oh God, oh God! Tony pressed his arm further down over his eyes, squishing his nose in the process. Suddenly he felt like he didn't need to know. "No, there is not."

Oh? Then how did it all work? Was it a bit like a cloaca – only partially like one, as he was pretty sure that the penis remained... No, he had not just been picturing that! "Okay, stop! That's too much information!" Now, he was picturing— Nope! Nope, nope, nope! He wasn't imagining anything! Just… Yeah, no. Don't think about blue genitalia. Don't think about… He wondered how it must look in blue. Were there any of the darker marking there too— NO! HE WASN'T PICTURING ANYTHING! "I think I'm gonna go to sleep now. Yeah, that's an awesome idea. Good night."

He could feel Loki smirk, and knew it wasn't over. "Mortal women are self-lubricating as well, correct?"

Tony groaned. "Oh. My. God!" Why the hell had he started talking about all this?

"Yes, dear?"

That arsehole thought himself funny. "Shut up. Just shut up." Loki's chuckle wasn't loud, but it was definitely there. Unbelievable! What the hell did he think he was doing anyw— "Wait. You said 'as well'. So you mean..."

"Yes."

Yeah, he really didn't want to know that. "Okay, now shut up."

He really wanted to roll over and have his back facing Loki, but they were holding hands, so he couldn't – and anyway, hiding away was not something he did. So he just remained on his back, made himself comfortable and closed his eyes after a final look at the ceiling. He didn't think he'd be able to fall asleep after all that, but then his thoughts drifted away and his consciousness faded.

XXXxxxXXXxxxXXXxxxXXXxxxXXX

Tony was sleeping. The quietened bond was enough proof of that, but what made it really obvious was the position. In his sleep, Tony had slowly crept closer until his cheek found Loki's bicep, and had draped himself half over his chest, a surprisingly cold foot – not cold to Loki, but cold compared to the rest of Tony's body – pushing against the fabric of his pyjama bottoms, between his calves. It really contrasted with his soulmate's previous bashfulness. Loki certainly was not complaining. This was the closest he could get to Tony after all.

Loki had not been expecting that conversation. Tony's curiosity – and later his embarrassment – was palpable all throughout, as was his truthfulness. Tony's reiteration of his opinion on his Jötunn skin – his own self-depreciation had been a reflex – had been surprising, and though the word 'gorgeous' was really flattering, it also made his chest clench painfully when he replayed it in his mind. The only thing Tony appreciated was the exoticness of his features, not who Loki really was. And why would he? They barely knew each other, and that was a good thing. The more Tony learned about Loki, the less he would like him. That was how it always was.

Yes, they barely knew each other. And yet, he felt like he had known Tony for much longer than merely days. The soul bond must be at fault. Trying to push them together, to get them to be closer. And Loki was letting himself be influenced by Urd's meddling like a novice warlock unable to withstand a basic compulsion spell. Tony didn't seem to have such problems. He was either resistant to any such influence – highly unlikely for a Midgardian – or the soul bond was not working in the same manner on him. It was unfortunate that Loki did not have that luxury.

He tried to resist the appeal of wanting everything of Tony; he had his half-soul, he had access to some of his feelings, he could always know where he was, but he wanted more. He wanted things he could not have. He had the soul, he had part of the mind, but he wanted the body and heart as well. It was a foolish thing to want. He was Loki. If anyone had seen past the mask, they wouldn't have called him Trickster God, but Unlucky God. Not that the title of 'God' was given to anyone who wasn't Æsir or Vanir. He did not really have such a title anymore.

Loki took Tony's other hand which was splayed over his ribs, and moved it over his heart instead – over his magical core, his Jötunn heart, not his Áss heart. He interlaced their fingers, his palm to the back of Tony's hand, and closed his eyes. The flow of their bond was even stronger now, and he let it lull him to sleep.

He woke up to light snoring and growing light coming through the windows.

"Good morning, Mr Friggason, Sir. I have been asked by Deputy Director Coulson to wake you, as, and I quote, 'people the world looks up to shouldn't laze in bed'." The Artificial Intelligence's voice sounded rather amused.

"Do you answer to Coulson as well now, J.A.R.V.I.S?" he asked the ceiling.

"Yeah, what he said," came Tony's sleepy voice, muffled by the skin of Loki's arm. He then groggily lifted his head, and looked at Loki – his face was closer than expected, and Loki stopped breathing instinctually. "Hi. Did you know you look rather blue?"

Oh, curse the Allfather and all his ancestors! Loki didn't even need to look down at his naked chest to know he was wearing his true skin; now that he knew, he could feel it, that difference. He groaned and closed his eyes. Why was this happening to him all the time? He'd never had trouble keeping his Áss skin before all this. He opened his eyes again and looked at Tony, who seemed much more awake all of a sudden.

"Is this going to be a thing now? Yeah, I think it's definitely going to be a thing. You know, I don't even know why you bother changing your appearance. No, I know why you bother, but I think it's stupid. But you already know what I think of your real skin."

Yes, Loki remembered that very clearly. "Oh, what was that again? It slipped my mind. Perhaps you could remind me," he said with a smirk.

"As if I'm ever gonna say that again." Loki's smirk widened. "Don't get cocky, mister. Or I might cut off your access to that little source of magic of mine," Tony said, covering up the faint light of the Arc reactor that came through his shirt. A 'little' source of magic it was definitely not.

"You do know I can use your magical energy by touching you anywhere, yes? It might be slower, but it would work just as well to help me shapeshift."

Tony scrambled back, severing their connection when their skin contact stopped. Loki sat up and bared his now pointy teeth in a predatory display. "Is that a challenge?" he asked, his blood rushing faster through his veins in anticipation.

Tony blinked a couple of times, taken aback. "Er…." He looked Loki squarely in the eye, and the instant he made up his mind was very clear, determination expanding in the bond like wildfire. His muscles tautened, like a prey tensing before flight. "Yes," he said, and Loki lunged, his smirk growing into a grin.

Tony rolled and slipped off the bed with enough force to have his breath expelled from his lungs, but he did not let that stop him. He clambered back to his feet just before Loki could grab him, and his dark, sharp nails grazed the Midgardian's shirt – he would have to cut those short, they were awfully impractical. While Tony ran to the other side of the room, Loki merely walked. There was no need to rush this. It would be over soon enough anyway.

Tony had taken refuge behind one of the couches, following Loki with his eyes, knees flexed, poised for a run. Loki could taste the adrenaline wafting through the air. Loki went left around the piece of furniture, and Tony turned around it as well, keeping it as a wall between them. They walked in a circle once, twice, thrice, before Loki had enough and simply walked over the obstacle in two big steps. Tony wasted no time and ran again, but this time Loki did not let him go far.

He accelerated, grasped Tony's shoulder and yanked it backwards, forcing him to turn on himself. Tony lost his balance and started falling backwards, so Loki shifted his grip to brace the mortal behind the head, and added a hand on the small of his back just before he hit the ground. Before Tony could think of crawling out from under Loki's crouched form, he sat down on his stomach, forcing a groan from his soulmate's lips at the weight.

Tony gulped in some quick breaths, eyes fixed on the ceiling, and Loki let his hands fall back on his own knees. This had ended too quickly for his taste. He should have drawn it out longer. For now, he could just enjoy this probably very rare position they were in, and hope Tony wouldn't ask him to get up too soon.

"God, I'm too old for this."

"You are merely saying that because you lost so quickly."

Tony frowned, slight irritation making itself known. "Okay, let me rephrase that. Dear powers above, I'm too human to compete physically with someone who has been compared to a divine entity."

Loki quirked an eyebrow. "Are you saying that you would not have lost if you had been wearing your armour?"

Now it was Tony's turn to smirk. "You, with only super strength and no magic? Let me think— Yeah. Yeah, I think I could win that."

The gall of that mortal! "I am not completely without magic." Loki concentrated on his entire skin, not unlike the beginning of his shapeshifting, and activated its natural elemental capacity. He leaned forward and put his hands on the ground, on both sides of Tony's head. Ice spread like a circular wave around them, creeping up their clothes and forming tiny crystals in Tony's hair.

Tony grabbed his left lower arm. "Ooookay, Princess, you can stop freezing the carpet now." Loki waited at least two full seconds, looking at Tony's dark irises with narrowed eyes, before extinguishing his racial magic. The ice, of course, remained. "You're so gonna be the one mopping up the lake this will make when it thaws."

As if he would get down on his knees to mop a floor! He used the skin contact Tony was so helpfully providing and formed a small but effective spell. The ice crystals heated up instantly and evaporated in a blaze of hot steam – it was slightly painful when it passed against Loki's blue skin, condensing immediately against it and leaving him wet, but the rest dissipated quickly.

Tony hissed. "Woah! Some warning would be nice! Didn't they teach you manners in Godly Land?"

"Have you met Thor?"

"Right. We'll put Etiquette for Dummies on your reading list then. For both of you."

"You might want to read it as well, Sir," J.A.R.V.I.S. added helpfully.

"Fuck you, J.A.R.V.'. I can be polite and all that shit if I want to."

While he was arguing with his own creation, Tony's fingers trailed over Loki's markings on his arm – he didn't seem to realise he was doing it, and Loki wouldn't be pointing it out to him. Somehow, it seemed to Loki that while he was wearing his Jötunn skin, Tony was less reluctant to touch him; the fascination he seemed to have for this exotic-looking skin had its advantages after all. What Loki didn't know, was if those advantages outweighed his almost visceral need to get back into smooth and creamy-white skin.

The door slammed open, and Tony fell silent in his complaints about the 'traitorous' J.A.R.V.I.S.. "Nat' says to come down to breakf—" came Barton's bored tone until it cut off in a strange amalgamation of a gurgle and a yelp, and the door slammed shut again.

Silence reigned for half a minute in which Tony lay utterly still under him, until his soulmate turned his head to the side – avoiding his gaze, no doubt – and chuckled uneasily. "Well, that was awkward," he added, and continued to stare to his left until Loki reluctantly – regrettably – stood up. So much for the playful and companionable moment they had shared.

Will Loki stay blue for long? What do you think ;)

Spread the Luv!

LL

PS: I'm not sure I can keep the 'every other weekend' scheme. I might have to switch to 'a chapter whenever I finish one' :(