The sound hardly registers
Why should it?
My fist against the wall
I expected something louder
I am alone
And I am angry
And the two go hand in hand
Mixing together
Till one is the same as the other
I want to hate them
I want to blame them
Instead I just hurt
Wonder how to ease this pain
Break stuff
Why do they hate me?
What happened before isn't my fault
After all I've done for them
Why are they still afraid?
I cry out
Frustration too much to keep inside
The chair splinters against the wall
No satisfaction
I never asked for this
They did it to me
It's not my fault
Break stuff
They all think
I'm going to go crazy
If it's such a big deal
Why'd they start it in the first place
I didn't want this
I've spent my whole life
Trying to be what they want
I've suffered long enough
I did everything for them
Every waking moment
Trying to become what they say I should be
The table flies into the wall
Dishes shatter and the wood cracks
Why isn't this helping?
Break stuff
Again my fists strike the wall
The sound is better this time
Hit it again
Focus on the pain
Let it take me away
Don't hear the window open
Don't hear footsteps in my room
There's one thing on my mind
Break stuff
I'm bleeding
I'm sweating
And if it bugs me
Then it's just more fuel
I know I'm scary this way
No one's ever seen me as such
Even if it is what they're afraid of
But the face is so familiar
To my silent observer
It's so easy to be angry
So hard to find an out let
If I go at this much longer
That wall won't stand a chance
It's a temporary outlet
It's a small escape
It's a simple solution
It's not hard to
Break stuff
When the wall starts to crack
When my fists are bleeding so they slide
That is when I hear some one move
Suddenly there's a hand
Lightly on my shoulder
As if afraid
As if nervous
As if
As if
I know this hand
I knows this isn't fear
I know I have to stop
Though I still just want to
Break stuff
I turn
Collapse into welcoming arms
Glad not to be alone
Our conversations seem to have double meanings
And this is no exception
Just like always
Neither can say what's really there
"Thank you"
I mean it
Deep breaths
I'm shaking
"It's no big deal."
Are you okay?Even in its soothing tones that voice is cool
Even when its trying to help
That voice has its chill
I doubt that will ever change
"Why are you here?"
How did you know I needed you?Look up to find
Cold green eyes staring down at me
"You made a lot of noise."
I was worriedLook away
I can't stand to see concern in those eyes
I don't want his pity
I don't need his sympathetic stare
"I didn't mean to."
You shouldn'tHis arms are persistent,
holding me close
He doesn't care if I push him away
He's dependable and always there
"I care about you, you know."
My breath catches in my throat
Fingers grasp at his shirt
It's a step towards the truth
Farther than we've gone before
He holds me close,
He's not bothered that I don't respond
I'd like to stay like this forever
But I know he has to leave
He has better things to do
But he'll be back
Next time I break stuff
"I know…"
I care about you tooIt's hard to say what I mean
I don't wan to fall into a trick
I know isn't there
His fingers run through my hair
He lets his arms fall to his side
I know he has to leave
But I hate to let him go
He slips out
Quiet as he came
I stare out the window after him
And wonder what comes next
My room isn't what it was before
I feel trapped in these walls
I want to follow after
But I know that's not allowed
He's quiet and he cares
He's scary and always there
I know that if I need him
He'll be near
He'll be here to help
Every time I start to break stuff.
END
((A/N: Weee, poetry! Cookies to anyone who gets the pairing!))
