Welcome back to fanfiction, where everything is all right with the world and we can pretend that the whole Infinity War/Endgame thing never happened. As you may guess, the first thing I did after seeing Endgame was read the first FrostIron I could get my hands on, because, well, Tony! :'( I found it funny though that they made a perfect fanfic prompt by going back to Avengers 1 and having Loki escape with the Tesseract. (If you know any FrostIron fics that used the prompt, please let me know in the comments so I can check it out).

Also, little side note, I realised that the last chapter, and this one I guess – and maybe the next one I don't know – actually went rather well with the song from the Disney film Brave: Into the Open Air. So if you're interested, you can always give it a listen.

Anyway, I'll let you read the chapter you've been waiting so long for. (You probably skipped my rambling anyway.) Some more M allusions await :D Enjoy!

PREVIOUSLY ON ASAF: He had wanked thinking of Loki. And he had forgotten about his shield, which meant Loki had felt what he was doing. And for some unfathomable reason, Loki had decided to join him in his self-indulgence instead of trying to tune Tony out, and he had felt Loki come too – and by God, this had been the best wank of his life!

But it had also been the worst, because he had wanked himself to completion together with Loki! With his much too male soulmate! The wrongness and embarrassment and mortification and shame burned him through and through, and he wished he could go hide somewhere and never, ever see his soulmate's face ever again.

Bitterness, self-depreciation and a stab of heart-breaking sadness rose to his throat like bile, and Tony only realised those feelings weren't his when the other side of the bond closed off with the resounding slam of the lid of a wooden chest being shut. The sudden isolation of his mind left him reeling, and he sat under the spray for a long while, incapable of coherent thought. There was only one thing he knew – Loki had taken the mind-shield, Tony was all alone in his rooms, and it was all his own fucking fault.

CHAPTER 31

Loki stood on the roof of the Tower, breathing hard. The sounds of the Midgardian city floated up to him, as did the stench of their primitive technology. He wished for a second that he was in the forests of Asgard, on one of the cliffs or in one of the clearings he used to travel to when he was experimenting with magic. Or in the moments he sought the solace of Yggdrasil's song when everything else in his life was in the hands of uncontrolled chaos. (One might argue that chaos was always uncontrolled, but nothing was more beautiful than controlled chaos in Loki's opinion. Especially when he was the one controlling said chaos.)

Loki looked up at the seemingly infinite yet trapping vault of blue sky. By the Norns, how he wished he could be anywhere but here right now. If not another Realm, then at least some secluded place of Midgard where he could lick his wounds and forget about his soulmate just for a moment. Though it might not change anything even if he was far away from here. He was shielding and suppressing the bond with all his might, but he could not stop Tony's presence shining like the brightest of stars in his mind, telling him exactly where his soulmate was. And the worst were the feelings that came up on him unbidden, showing him his soulmate's confusing mix of feelings.

It was probably better than the alternative, though. He did not want to imagine the terrible situation he would be in if Tony was the one in control of the shield instead. He still had difficulty believing that they could not shield their minds simultaneously; if he had ever doubted it before, Lady Fate's hatred of him was clearly apparent now. He should never have taught Tony how to use it. He should never even have spoken of the possibility. He should have shielded his mind at all times, and let Tony believe that the limited feelings he could receive from him was simply how things were.

Another spike of embarrassment coming from Tony stabbed at him, punctuated by the tugging of a few lies, and Loki ground his teeth together. If Loki had to list all the things he should not have done lately, then giving in to his baser instincts was the biggest mistake of them all. It was just that when he had woken up, and his mind had cleared when the bathroom door was slammed shut, he realised his chance at grabbing the shield was gone, and he had not dared move, given the state of his nether regions. While it was a natural reaction of his body and he was not in any way embarrassed by it, he doubted Tony would appreciate knowing of its existence. He therefore had immediately drawn up images of unpleasant things, and by the time the shower started running and it happened, he had almost succeeded in getting rid of his erection.

Of course, the moment Tony's imperfect shield wavered for the first time and he was hit from head to toe by foreign lust… There was nothing he could have done to stop all his blood from rushing downward. Just imagining Tony, naked and wet, touching himself there. Tony would not be thinking of him, certainly – Loki was not foolish enough to believe that. That Potts woman was probably the one he thought of. But to Loki's treacherous body that did not matter, and the thought of caressing himself at the same time as Tony… Well, the little flashes of lust that he had been gleaning from the bond certainly hadn't dissuaded him from this unwise course of action.

Remembering the events from earlier in the day had fuelled his passion even more; the feelings Tony had sent him through the bond in order to perform soul magic; the kiss he had so foolishly deposited on Tony's lips in his elation. That had also been a very unwise course of action, the kiss. Tony had been surprised, confused, perhaps a touch… What was the Midgardian expression? Weirded out? At least it did not seem like he had understood it as the gesture of profound affection it was. Too profound an affection – how his feelings had grown like this in a matter of days should have been utterly impossible, and yet… Here he had been, pining after his own soulmate, stroking himself with images of his naked body while Tony pleasured himself thinking of someone else. It was ridiculous.

Loki had been out of breath, biting down on the sounds that wanted to escape his throat, barely noticing the differences in shape and sensations that his Jötunn body provided, when Tony's shield shattered and Loki's sanity followed. All his senses were heightened tenfold, and he could almost feel Tony's every breath, every movement he made, as clear in his mind as if he was standing right in front of him, and his body responded accordingly. His mind hummed, his magic sang, his heart cried out and their soul… Their soul was blinding in its happiness. Loki almost lost all connection with the physical, his everything pulsing with Tony's every breath and heartbeat, with Tony's screaming lust and pleasure. He heard Tony's moan as if it had been whispered directly in his ear, and it violently brought him to completion in a sensation so perfect he could not control his own throat and Tony's name echoed against the walls. In all his long life, he had never felt a thing such as this. And of course, given that he was Loki, God of Mischief and Chaos and Utter Misery, this magnificent perfection and breath-taking sense of belonging was ripped away from him.

Tony's feelings slammed into him, not unlike receiving Mjölnir thrown at full force in the gut. Shame. Embarrassment. Something that surely could not be anything but disgust. Tony knew they had touched themselves at the same time, had reached completion at the same time, and he hated the very notion. Loki felt chilled to the bone – and that was quite a feat, given that he was Jötunn. Though really, what else should he have expected? He was Jötunn. He was, for all intents and purposes, male. (Though, now that he could feel his body again, besides the stickiness of his hand and length he also could feel how wet he was further down, and he had possibly never felt less male than in this very moment.) Happiness, even more than a simple minute of it, was not something he would ever be granted. The only person he should have been able to call truly his was mortified at the very thought of his existence. What else should he have expected?

There was only one thing he thought of doing then, and that was getting out of this sticky situation as quickly as possible. He had slammed the shield down onto the bond with practised ease, muffling as best he could the horrible feelings his soulmate was sending him, and he had flung the frosted covers off the bed and rushed to the closet to throw something on, anything that could hide his awful skin away. He could not bear the fact that what he had been doing was stuck to his skin like a brand – even the idea of finding some place to wash the evidence off with water was not enough. So he magicked it all away, even though it felt like someone was stabbing him in the heart and he could almost hear his magical core creak at the strain. He shrugged on a pair of dark grey trousers, slipped his arms into a white button-up shirt and taken off, blindingly stabbing the first button of the elevator and ending up here, on the roof, bare feet buried in the gravel and the open halves of his shirt fluttering in the wind.

He did not know how long he had stood there, looking at the greyness and the shine of the architecture. The sun was distinctly higher in the sky when he noticed its presence again, and his stomach protested against its neglected state, even though the thought of food made Loki want to retch. His magical core throbbed. He should eat, for his body's sake. Perhaps it would distract him from all this.

He checked Tony's presence, finding him as far away as he could be – he traced it all the way down to the surface of the planet, and below. The distance was like another stab in the heart, but he ignored it and concentrated on the advantages of it; he could safely go to the kitchen without running into his soulmate. Loki turned on his heels, the crunch of his feet stopping in front of the closed elevator doors. He did not have to wait long for them to open, and once inside he pushed the button for the kitchen floor. He was still buttoning up his shirt – with his sharp nails his progress was frustratingly slow – when the elevator doors opened one floor too soon and Bruce Banner's surprised gaze met his.

"Oh. Hello," the man said before stepping inside. He looked at the elevator buttons for a few moments before hitting the one with '0' on it.

"Hello," Loki forced himself to answer back, glancing at the Avenger's open coat and leather bag. The doors closed.

The Midgardian pushed the pair of glasses further up his nose. "Uhm… Late morning? You missed breakfast, but Tony said not to disturb you. If you're heading to the kitchen" – the doors opened as if to emphasise his phrasing – "I'm sure you'll find enough food in the fridge. I think there are still leftovers from yesterday that you can heat up if you want." Loki got out without a word. Conversing with Banner was not something he wanted to do right now; the man's voice followed him anyway. "I'm off, but Steve should still be around if you need help with the appliances. Some of them anyway. Might not want to let him close to the microwave. But Tony's around too, of course." Loki turned the corner, but being out of sight did not mean he could not hear Banner's disgruntled mutter before the lift's doors closed again: "Yeah, good day to you too."

The kitchen was empty and Loki followed his nose towards the fridge full of boxes and plates covered in thin films that showed a large array of foods that did not look very appetising to Loki's churning stomach. He took out those that did not smell too upsetting and contemplated the cold dishes. One of them smelled sweet and might be some type of dessert, and while he feared it might be overly sweet, it certainly smelled better than some of the other things locked up in the fridge that somehow seemed to suit a Midgardian tongue. If his core hadn't been so abused and depleted, he would have been able to heat the food up with a swish of his wrist, but given the circumstances he would either have to find a Midgardian way to make them more palatable, or he would have to settle for eating them cold.

"If I may, Mr Friggason? If you take the lids off the Tupperware and the plastic film off the plates, you can heat them up one by one in the microwave. The silver box-shaped appliance on your left, with the glass door ajar. I can set the best times and wattage for you, as long as you put the dish inside and cover it with the plastic cloche."

Loki followed J.A.R.V.I.S.' instructions, and while the device was heating up the foods one after the other, he hunted for all the Midgardian utensils to set the table for himself in a similar way as he had witnessed before. While opening random cupboards – until he was guided towards the right locations – he saw many strange pots, dishes and devices that all seemed overly complicated and remarkably useless. He had not often been to the kitchens in the palace – the cooks were very vigilant, and any food-related mischief was better orchestrated whilst outside said kitchens – but he was certain that Tony's kitchen had too much paraphernalia; the royal cooks certainly did not need all this to make grandiose feasts.

The infernal beeping of the microwave signalled the end of its heating cycle and Loki quickly took out his last dish and took it to his seat at the table. Now that the various foods were wafting their scents in his face his stomach twitched in hungry anticipation, and he started on the noodle dish placed on his right. The taste was disappointingly faint, so he immediately switched to the dish next to it.

"Mr Friggason, if the Chow Mein is not to your liking, may I suggest adding some salt and pepper? Deputy Director Coulson suggested it might need such adjustments yesterday."

Loki ate the rest of his food first while it was still hot before going to look for the spices. There was a rack against the wall with numerous small glass jars, and the names in gold letters didn't mean much to him. Safran. Curcumin. Rosemary. A word from J.A.R.V.I.S. directed him to a little tray with a mixture of jars and bottles. One seemed to contain an oil, one was bright yellow and another bright red, and among the spices Loki recognised the pepper. There seemed, however, to be two jars of salt. He picked up the biggest one.

"That, Mr Friggason, would be the sugar."

Sugar? Loki looked at the white crystals before bringing the jar to his nose. It smelled sweet, of course, but nothing like any sweetener Loki was familiar with. When he inquired about it, J.A.R.V.I.S. gave him a long-complicated speech, though Loki believed he got the gist of it. Midgardians made this 'refined sugar' from some kind of plant, in what seemed like an overly complicated process. Why use sweeteners crystallised and stripped of all traces of its original form? Surely using honey like most Asgardian desserts did was just as easy and much healthier. And should not Midgardians worry about their fragile health most of all?

Loki picked up the salt instead, intending to go back to his food, but he paused with the little jar at eye-level. The crystals were slightly smaller, and the white was a different shade. At a glance, however, it might be very difficult to determine which spice one had in hand unless one smelled it. Or tasted it. Loki put the jar back on the counter and kept his face blank.

"J.A.R.V.I.S., may I enquire what your obligations are towards Tony. Or towards the Avengers."

"In what regard, Mr Friggason?"

"Were I to, theoretically, perform some harmless act of mischief, would you have to report that fact to anyone?"

"If I were to judge that said act of mischief is indeed harmless, then I am free to choose what to do with that information. I can tell everyone, or not tell anyone. I suppose one could say it depends on my mood." The Artificial Intelligence sounded decidedly jovial. "Would you like to, theoretically, know where the stock of salt and sugar are being kept, Mr Friggason?"

Loki let his trademark smirk bloom on his face. "Please, do share said theoretical location."

With J.A.R.V.I.S.' help Loki found more salt and sugar, as well as a bowl, spoon and funnel, and successfully made the two crystal spices exchange jars – mischief without magic was surprisingly time-consuming. By the time he had finished his 'Chow Mein' noodles were cold, but Loki really could not be bothered with heating them up in the microwave again. The pepper and salt did not make enough of a difference to make the dish worth going through the trouble of standing up again. He just ate it as quickly as possible – his currently sharper teeth were not meant for this – and vacated the kitchen once he had put the plates away in the cleaning machine. It was usually best not to be around when someone stumbled upon one of his pranks. As he could not hide himself with magic, he would have to physically stay away – but J.A.R.V.I.S. had promised to share the results with him the moment something happened. Even if he had had enough magic, he would not have lurked around given that it would probably be a while before anything happened anyway.

He strolled around aimlessly, and his thoughts turned back to Tony's feelings, unfortunately. He looked around for another magicless prank to do, but nothing came to him, and doing innocuous things like swapping clothes between rooms seems too exhausting to do without magic. He walked past a familiar door and doubled back. The window had been repaired and the glass that used to litter the floor was gone; there was still quite a bit of dust covering the furniture and a new thin layer had settled on the black polish of the piano.

He should learn how to play. Music would distract him from this morning's events, surely. He blew the dust away and sat down on the stool. He was in the process of pushing down every key to memorise the associated note when J.A.R.V.I.S. spoke up.

"If you would like to learn how to play, Mr Friggason, I can send Dum-E up with a tablet so that I can show you."

"That would be appreciated."

Once the one-armed robot arrived, Loki took the thin screen from it and placed it on the small ledge where the book with the unknown musical writing stood. The tablet lit up with an image of a piano and J.A.R.V.I.S. started to explain the main components of the piano, and he tried out the function of the pedals once he discovered their purpose. J.A.R.V.I.S. then explained the Midgardian musical system, that in the end was rather similar to Asgard's. Then came the writing system of notes, the time equations and speed, the different appearances of the dots determining the length of a note, and the position of said dots and other signs to determine the pitch. Slowly but surely, the musical writing stopped swimming in front of his eyes as the Allspeak settled with his understanding of the system. J.A.R.V.I.S. taught him which notes where which on the piano.

The tablet displayed a few measures of simple notes for Loki to try. He positioned his hands as J.A.R.V.I.S. had explained, but did not start playing – the short burst of mechanical whirring that had been bearable during the lesson had become really irritating in the sudden silence. He whipped his head around and stared at Dum-E.

"Why is it still here?" he asked J.A.R.V.I.S.. Dum-E trilled and its 'head' drooped.

"Dum-E wishes to stay with you and hear you play, if it does not bother you."

"It does not bother me, on the condition that it stops moving and remains silent."

Dum-E trilled again and his head came back up. The arm moved to a higher position and stopped moving altogether. Loki put his hands back on the keys and slowly played the first measure, picking up in speed and confidence when his hands got used to the movement. Every time he finished a music piece the tablet showed another, longer one, with more challenging note combinations. After a while J.A.R.V.I.S told him he could switch to the book that stood behind the tablet, which added the challenge of having to quickly turn the pages without interrupting the piece.

When Tony's lingering embarrassment turned to a simmering anger and regret – it felt like the emotional flames were licking at Loki's elemental-sensitive Jötunn skin – he tried to lose himself in the music even more, playing with harsh notes that seemed to echo against the room's cushioned walls. He didn't want to think of the expression Tony would have the next time they had to face each other again – angry at the situation Loki's presence at put him in, and regretting ever meeting his soulmate. Loki was sure that if he had to see these emotions displayed on his soulmate's face, his half-soul would never recover. How he hated the weakness his amorous feelings were creating! If only his heart could become as cold as his skin.

He only noticed the frost when the sounds the instrument was emitting changed, and he stopped. Very carefully he let a warming spell weave itself along the crystals and the ice melted, but his core still panged from that measly effort and that made his own anger spike like a solar flare. Why had he let Tony talk him into performing soul magic to cleanse Thanos' sceptre? All the progress he'd made with his core's recovery was all probably for nought! You went along with it because, like an idiot, you let your heart join to Tony's just as your soul. And now look at him – still no useful magic he could use, a soulmate that did not want anything to do with him, and a skin he could not get rid of on his own.

If only he could be in the Realm Eternal. There his core's strong connection to the branches of Yggdrasil, and Mother's healing spells, would ensure a much quicker recovery of his core. And he certainly would not be walking around in a Jötunn skin, freezing precious instruments by accident. You wouldn't play any instruments on Asgard. You might not even be able to walk around at all. The All-Father was not that forgiving. When it came to his freedom, he was better off on Midgard, yes. But that did not mean he did not miss the Realm he had thought was his birth-right and home. Though when he thought about it, what he really missed was his mother. Surely she would know how to sway Tony's heart to like a male – or half-male – like him.

With renewed fervour Loki played more piano, until he had gone through the whole book. Then he tried playing those pieces again from memory, J.A.R.V.I.S. telling him if he had missed out or changed any notes at the end of each piece. He was playing one such pieces with his eyes closed and his mind focused on the memory of his previous performance of it when he was startled by a high-pitched whistle. He stopped short and whipped around on the stool, ready to defend himself against whatever this was, only to discover a dark-skinned Midgardian standing in the open doorway.

"You're good! Für Elise, right? I've always liked that one. Do you have pianos out there in space too?"

Loki blinked twice, taken aback by the apparent lack of fear, or even hungry curiosity, in this human's eyes. The mortal had never seen a being from another Realm, surely? Should there not be more of a reaction when confronted to the hue of his skin and eyes?

"There are no 'pianos out there in space' as far as I am aware of," Loki ended up answering.

"Really? You're great at it, though, I think. When did you learn?"

"Mr Friggason started playing two hour and a half hours ago," J.A.R.V.I.S. answered for him.

The Midgardian whistled again and Loki had to clench his teeth when the sound sharply poked at his eardrums. "Wow! You're quite the genius too, then. Guess that's why God or whatever thought you and Tony should end up together, making you soulmates and all."

Loki's eyebrows twitched. So this man knew about his and Tony's predicament. How? Had Tony told him? That they were soulmates? That he was the unluckiest mortal in all of Midgard, to be soul bound to such a being as Loki? That he hated the whole situation? That he wished he could still be with his Pepper? That he wished Pepper had been his soulmate instead?

The man stepped forward, arm outstretched. "Oh, hey, sorry. Forgot to introduce myself. I'm Colonel James Rhodes, AKA War Machine, and Tony calls me Rhodey. We spoke before, if you remember."

"Rhodey," Loki echoed. He had been the man on the phone with Tony a couple of nights ago. And Loki was the one who had explained about them being soulmates. He squashed the sudden spike of guilt he felt from assuming Tony would immediately complain about their relationship to the first new person who stopped by. Loki looked the man over in more detail now. This was a friend of Tony's. His best friend, Tony claimed. One who, from what Loki had gathered, had known his soulmate for a while. The spike of guilt was replaced with an irrational spike of jealousy that he squashed just as quickly as the previous one.

He stood up and tentatively took the hand that the man was still thrusting forward. "Loki Friggason. Former prince of Asgard," he answered, bitterness filling his throat. He looked down at his blue hand clasped with the dark brown one. "And of Jötunheimr also, I suppose."

Rhodey let go of his hand and took half a step back. "You're a prince? Like, for real? Why doesn't Tony ever tell me the important stuff? It's the prince and the pauper, opposites and the same. Well, except Tony's rich, but…" Rhodey's smile grew. "This is cool. I've never met a prince before. Never met an alien before either. I gotta say, meeting an alien prince is way cooler than getting to meet human ones. And you're like, a warrior mage too, right?" Rhodey snorted. "Makes you wonder what Tony's complaining about. If you gotta have a soulmate, why not an alien warrior mage prince, right? Way better than some guy down the street. So I bet there's like a big catch. Spill. What's so wrong with you that's got Tony's panties in a twist?"

Loki laughed depreciatively. "Wrong? There are many things wrong with me. I would not know where to start." Not that he intended to tell this Midgardian anything of importance; as Tony's best friend, he was on Tony's side, and at the moment, that meant he could not be on Loki's side.

"Ah, I think I know! You're too much like Tony. Which I guess is normal, given the soulmate thing and all. There are many things wrong with Tony too. Like, he can be a sassy arsehole, totally reckless, both very stupid and very much a genius, and he's very good at lying to himself and pretending he doesn't have feelings. Man, it's hard to be friends with Tony. Believe me, I know."

"And you are saying that I am the same?" Loki said with a raised eyebrow. The gall of that mortal! Loki was perhaps 'sassy' as well, he supposed, but he certainly was not an arsehole – his actions were very much justified. Revenge, for instance, perfectly justified the things that people disliked him for. It was not as if he found stabbing people in the back fun. And harmless pranks were just that; harmless. One could not be called an arsehole for that. He also was not reckless – Thor was the reckless one. And the stupid one. And sure, Loki was very good at lying, but he was terrible at lying to himself. And as for feelings, Loki could never pretend not to have any – he simply had too many feelings coursing through him at any given moment to pretend he did not have them. So really, the only part Loki could truly agree with was the word genius.

"Oh, no, I bet you're not the same. Just similar enough to get on Tony's nerves. Which means you're similar enough to understand Tony too and get past his barriers. That's gotta tick him off even more."

"Not the same but too similar. That might indeed be the core of the problem." Such as, for instance, the fact that even though they weren't really of the same sex, Loki was too much male to become physically of interest to Tony. And therefore, Tony would not consider him a potential mate; not even platonic lovers. He had to get over his inappropriate feelings and remain in the realm of friends with Tony – this morning was a perfect example of what happened when he overstepped the fragile boundaries of friendship.

"Yeah. So…" Rhodey rubbed his neck and looked out the window. "Uhm…" He looked Loki in the eye again, and the awkwardness came off the Midgardian in waves. Loki was not going to like this conversation, was he? "Something happened between you and Tony, right? I mean, the way Tony was bitching earlier, and how he kept going on and on about analysing magic and whatnot and glared daggers at the me the moment I tried bringing the whole soulmate thing to the table… You seemed both pretty okay with each other when I had you on the phone, but now he's hiding in his lab and. Well. I'm gonna go on a limb here and say you're hiding in here too."

"I am not hiding," Loki said. Or perhaps growled. Rhodey certainly looked like he was ready to sprint to the door the moment Loki looked like he was about to pounce. Though he also looked like he did not believe Loki's words for a second. Loki huffed out a breath and turned back to the piano. He was not hiding. He was learning how to play a new instrument. And if that instrument happened to be very far away from were Tony had decided to spend his hours, that was merely a coincidence. It was not like he would not have been here had Tony been in the next room over. Though to be fair, if Tony had been next door Loki would certainly have made sure to stay clear of him until the churning emotions the bond displayed calmed down. So if actively trying not to cross paths with Tony was considered hiding… He turned back to Rhodey. "I am not hiding. And I am not going to seek Tony out either."

"Leaving Tony to stew in his own juice. Yeah, sometimes that's a good idea. Sometimes it's the exact opposite of what Tony needs. And it's always really hard to figure out when you need to do something or not. I guess it's all about how willing you are for things to potentially blow up in your face."

Loki lifted an inquisitive eyebrow. "And as an expert on my soulmate, which would you recommend in this instance? Avoidance or confrontation?"

"Ha, well I'd need to know more about all this first, don't I? 'Cause all I know is that you attacked New York – I got that much out of Pepper at least – and that you switched sides 'cause you and Tony are soulmates. Like, literally, your souls are bonded or some shit, so Tony broke up with Pepper. Or the other way around, I'm not sure. And then you helped the Avengers with the clean-up of New York, if what the media says is right, and from all that I'd pegged you as a woman – no offense, I was following most people's expectations when it comes to Tony. So when I called Tony and found out about the whole soulmate thing and you being a guy thing… Well, I didn't know what to think, you know. But from what I heard, you two seemed to be doing rather okay. And when Tony asked me to come over, I was expecting to talk about the whole alien soulmate thing 'cause I'm pretty sure that that's what Tony wanted to talk about. I think. Tony can be really emotionally stunted sometimes. Or he really wishes he was, so he squashes his emotions down by inventing new tech. Anyway, I was expecting to talk about you. I was not expecting to get 'I don't wanna talk about him, Rhodes' and 'can you just please not mention him' when I dropped your name into the conversation. So." The Midgardian took a moment to catch his breath, and Loki had to commend him for his lung capacity. "What happened?"

"I do not wish to speak of it."

"Ah hell no, not you too! Who do you people think I am? A fucking marriage counsellor? It's not my job to sit you both on a couch and get you to 'out your grievances' or some shit." Loki cocked his head at the man as he got more and more frustrated. "You're better off watching some Dr Phil together, I don't know, but I can't be the one who has to get you back together. You're supposed to be some match made in heaven. How the hell am I supposed to do that?"

"I don't believe you are expected to do anything. And either way, how could you possibly help Tony and I to get 'back together' if we were never 'together' to begin with?"

"You— Sure, Tony said you weren't boyfriends, but didn't you say that as soulmates you were… What was it? Friends, brothers and lovers or something?"

"To which I added, 'and yet none of those things'." Loki supposed they might have reached the friendship stage before, but with this morning's fiasco... Who knew where they were at now?

"Right. Uhuh. I have absolutely no idea what that means, but whatever. You two were totally bantering when I had you on the phone. And for Tony, bantering is either for the people he hates the most, or for people he likes the most. I'm pretty sure you're not in the 'enemy' category anymore. Whatever it is, you two had a thing going, and right now it isn't anymore. It can't be that hard to explain why."

Perhaps it was not very difficult to explain why Tony was upset. However, explaining how the situation itself came to be… It was Loki's fault in the sense that he should not have given in to his baser instincts, that was true. And yet, he would not have been tempted to do so if Tony had not succumbed to his own lustful thoughts. Then again, Tony would not have done that had he not had, at the time, control over their shielding – though a flimsy control it had been. Although if Loki had not taught him how to shield in the first place, they would not have to fight over its control, and none of this would have happened. How could Loki not have taught Tony, though? If he had indefinitely refused, Tony would have been angry with him anyway. When one thought about it, everything was Lady Fate's fault, really. Then again, one always blamed one's fate on Urd whether she had directly played with the strings of life or not. It was easy to blame someone else.

"I suppose the current problem lies with our capacity to sense each other's feelings. While try to shield these feelings from each other, we discovered last night that said shielding can only be used by one of us at any given time."

"Huh. I don't even know where to start. Are you, like, telepaths now?"

"Empaths would be a more correct term, I suppose. Though it isn't as if we can sense other people's feelings."

"But you can feel Tony's feelings?" Loki certainly wished he could not right now, with the spikes of anger that hit him at regular intervals. "Like, you know he's not fine when he says he is, and you know when his smile is for real or if it's hiding something else?"

"I suppose. Though it is not always clear, especially when more than one emotion is involved."

"Wow. That's quite the superpower you got there, man. Being able to call out Tony's bullshit."

"Tony possesses the same power over me. It is at the core of our problem, since it seems we both pride ourselves in being able to fool people when it comes to what we are truly feeling. I more so than Tony, since Tony does not hide as much as you seem to think."

"That's a shitty situation, then. Nothing to be done about it though, right? What you could do is just agree to never hide from each other, 'cause one being able to hide while the other can't ain't fair… But I can't imagine having to share everything I feel with someone I just met, soulmate or not, so. I guess you just need time and, like, real conversations or something."

"Indeed." Loki turned back to the piano and placed his hands on the keys. Hopefully the Midgardian would see it as his cue to leave and—

"You sure that's all? 'Cause you said you discovered the one-sided shield thing last night. And when I tried to get something out of Tony and asked him when you became a taboo subject, he said 'this morning'. And I got a feeling you like being just as precise as Tony. So you may have a problem with last night, but Tony has one with this morning. What happened this morning?"

"Nothing," Loki said, eyes still aimed at the music sheet.

"Really?" Rhodey sounded sceptical, and if he was honest, Loki could not fault him for it. He was not wrong after all.

"Yes," Loki insisted.

The yank on his core came out of nowhere and he only managed not fall off the stool by tensing his arms and trying to hold onto the keys. The piano caterwauled in a horrible mix of notes and the keys shrieked when his nails ripped through their polish. Loki slowly lifted his hands off the instrument and took a long steeling breath before turning around on the stool.

"What the hell, man?" Rhodey had a hand over his heart and his face spelled utter bewilderment.

"Excuse me for a moment." Loki closed his eyes to concentrate better and checked Tony's feelings. No panic or pain to be found, so it wasn't like he was reaching out so forcefully for a legitimate reason. Loki took hold of the bond's thread. He yanked in return, careful not to do it too hard – it was not like he wanted to injure Tony. There, some pain, shock, a solar flare of anger. Loki braced himself for the possibility of imminent retaliation. Instead, the thread thrummed with the Morse Code. 'ASSHOLE'. Well, then. Tony's first word to him today. Loki was not certain if he should feel indignant, or if he should find it fitting, given that their predicament might be mostly his fault. He was supposed to be much older and wiser than Tony after all.

Would it be too childish to answer with something along the lines of 'let me return the compliment'? Probably. He threw some surprise and inquisitiveness Tony's way instead, which seemed to help, since he received an explanation almost instantly. 'STOP LYING TO RHODEY'.

Loki opened his eyes and lifted an eyebrow at the ceiling. 'ARE YOU SPYING ON ME?'

'NO'. Lie. 'JARVIS IS'.

Loki snorted. 'I SEE. AND YOU EXPECT ME TO TELL YOUR FRIEND THE TRUTH WHEN YOU REFUSE TO?'

"Uhm… Hello?"

Loki was certain Tony must have snorted in turn. 'YES. DONT LIE. I DIDNT TELL HIM CAUSE HE DIDNT ASK.' Both of Loki's eyebrows went up when his core itched with the lie.

'SUCH HYPOCRISY. AND DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO TELL HIM THE TRUTH?'

"Is this some kind of alien trance?"

Loki felt hesitancy tickle his mind, so he continued with; 'DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO TELL HIM YOU'RE AVOIDING ME BECAUSE WE HAPPENED TO SIMULTANEOUSLY PLEASURE OURSE—' Loki grunted as another hard yank shocked his torso.

'NO'. Loki waited for some other rejoinder from Tony, but the feeling that Tony was not going to say anything else crept over him. Right. He turned his eyes to Rhodey. "If you wish to know more, you will have to ask Tony, since it seems he does not wish me to tell you." The Midgardian looked at him like he was completely mad. "Now, if you'll excuse me." Loki turned back to the piano, swept his fingers over the damaged keys, and started to play.

I was hoping to resolve Tony and Loki's… whatever this is, but they weren't keen to resolve their issues just yet. Sorry. But I did bring Loki back to the piano, as requested by some of you.

On another note – "note". See what I did there? – anyone else wishing it was 2021 so that we can watch the new Loki series? (2021… It contains the same numbers as 2012. Coincidence? I think not XD I wonder how long my fic will be in 2021 XD Would be great if it could be finished by then. One can only hope. Though I'm guessing some of you will say, "I don't want it to ever end" XD But it's gotta end one day, and I'm hoping that day comes sooner rather than later so that I can start writing some of my other ideas.)

Anyway, I will hopefully see you soon. Given my track record, I doubt that will happen, though, but feel free to keep on dreaming ;)

Spread the Luv!

LL