Hi, y'all! Long-time no see, haha… Here's a new chapter! Though I won't go so far as to say it's the chapter you've been waiting for. Last time I said I'd get us at least to the entrance of that d*** gala. I lied. Didn't get there at all, even though the wordage makes it almost a double chapter. I got us music though, as promised. Probably not at all what you were expecting. Some people might hate it, sorry about that. I needed to have some fun, sorry. It was the only way for me to get through this.
I made a playlist on Spotify! Never did this before, so I hope it all worked out: ASAF Tower's Playlist by Chiyoko-ojō. (If it doesn't work please let me know). These are all the songs mentioned in this chapter, in order of appearance, so it's a bit of an odd mix and an odd order. Because I'm a bit insane, I tried to only have things from 2012 or before so that it isn't anachronous – though let's pretend that everything from 2012 itself just happened to have come out in Jan instead of, like, December ;) (I might have made anachronous mistakes before this chapter but… I'm trying XD ) It's up to you if you want to listen to the playlist first or not, but of course seeing the songs on there before reading the chapter is a bit of a spoiler sometimes… I personally prefer trying to guess songs from lyrics before listeneing but… May the dilemma be yours :p
Enjoy, hopefully!
PREVIOUSLY ON ASAF: With J.A.R.V.I.S.' thorough instructions, Loki cleared away the unfinished victuals, either to be kept of thrown out; he divided the waste according to strange recycling rules; he filled up plastic boxes and stretched very fine and fragile plastic over plates; he wiped down the wood with a cloth. And all the while he kept on a brave face as he caught Steve's gleeful smiles and twinkling eyes every time Loki had to ask J.A.R.V.I.S. for clarifications.
Honestly. The things Loki did for his soulmate. And, well, his own continued safety. Still, if it were not for Tony, he would not be here drying off a table by hand. At least Thor would not know of it. That was his only solace. Yes, Tony had better be grateful for how low he allowed himself to stoop.
CHAPTER 37
After breakfast was all cleared up Steve turned to him with a smile. "Thanks for helping me."
"My pleasure," Loki said, plastering a smile on his face in the hope it looked sincere.
Steve smiled in return. It dimmed all of a sudden and he rubbed the back of his neck. "Do you have anything planned today?"
Loki narrowed his eyes. That was an attitude he had seen on Thor much too often; someone was in search of a favour. He debated lying, but then he would not know what the mortal wanted. "No."
"I— Well, I'm going to work out now in the gym. Tony has a whole private training floor in the tower, it's mad. Anyway, I was wondering if you'd like to join me. It's a bit lonely all on my own in such a big gym. Natasha and Clint always work out before breakfast, but that's when I go jogging, so…"
Loki was torn. He certainly would not mind a good fight, even if he would have to do it without even the smallest of illusions. However, he did not want to hurt the Midgardian – it was quite possible that Steve matched Thor in physical strength, but he did not match him in his healing abilities. And the Norns knew his hold on his Áss form was shaky at best; if at any point his Jötunn skin resurfaced, his ice magic might automatically activate and the consequences would be very unpleasant for Steve.
"Perhaps another time. I am afraid I am not up to it today."
Steve's disappointment morphed into concern. "Are you feeling unwell?"
"Not unwell, no. It is merely my lack of magic that fatigues me." In a manner of speaking.
"Ah. Right. I forgot about that. I'm still getting used to magic being real and all."
"Understandable."
They parted ways and Loki took the now familiar route up to the music room. He sat down in front of the piano, but left his hands on his lap. He did not really feel like playing the pieces he had done before. He wanted to do something new. And to be honest, he was intrigued by the strange variety of music that Midgardians liked.
"J.A.R.V.I.S., what was the strange music coming from Deputy Director Coulson's phone?"
"That would be Staying Alive by the Bee Gees. The Deputy Director used a short extract of the chorus as his ringtone." Loki's face must have shown more than he had wanted, because the Artificial Intelligence continued, "A ringtone is, as I'm sure you know, a signal to show people they are receiving a call. While some still like to use simple tones to that effect, others prefer to take a short piece of music, either from a song they like, or the soundtrack of a film or series. Would you like to listen to the whole Staying Alive song?"
Loki shrugged his assent. He cocked his head at the otherworldly combination of sounds. He had been to many worlds all over the galaxy, but hearing different types of music never lost its novelty.
"Do you wish to hear the ringtone of the other inhabitants of Sir's Tower? As a comparison."
"Why not."
J.A.R.V.I.S. proceeded to deafen him with a shrill sound that he called the 'classic phone ring'; apparently Captain America was partial to this atrocity. Tony's 'Stark phone ringtone' was a short sequence of notes that if left on too long was grating, but otherwise served its purpose. Apparently Tony did not want a song at the moment because he could not decide upon the best one. Rhodey had a song called This Is War. Barton's was instrumental, which was a surprise, but J.A.R.V.I.S. insisted it was simply his way of showing he liked a TV show named Breaking Bad. Romanoff's was also instrumental, but since it was the ringtone version of a song J.A.R.V.I.S. let him listen to it, and Love The Way You Lie did make his heart give an uncomfortable squeeze. Banner's song apparently came from a film, Ae Dil Hai Mushkil, and that made his heart squeeze uncomfortably for completely different reasons.
"Are these their favourite songs, then? Is that why they choose to use it as a… ringtone? To represent themselves?"
"It is not necessarily their favourite songs. Humans have a tendency to often change the music they listen to. Do you wish to hear a few songs from the playlists that have recently been played in the tower?"
Loki shrugged, and J.A.R.V.I.S. took it as an affirmation. It was a good idea to be aware of the range of Midgardian music, and of the specifics that his neighbours might like. Always be informed. Knowledge is power. Those were the mottos he had lived by for a long time. Why had he not tried to dig up more information about the Avengers before? He knew the basics, from during the unfortunate… invasion, and from the snippets of conversation and the unconscious language of their bodies, but he had not tried finding more information, not really. He should remedy that soon.
Loki listened to some of their music for an hour at least, before he sat down at the piano. The one advantage of having to suffer through some of the awful lyrics was that at least he had a larger repertoire to try out.
"Mr Friggason. I thought you might perhaps be ready to play somewhere more public. If you so wish, of course. I have installed a grand piano on the main floor of the penthouse. It has a better view of the city. The acoustics of the room might not be entirely suited, but I thought—"
"Thank you," Loki interrupted. He had not necessarily planned to make his instrumental prowess more public than it already was. However, J.A.R.V.I.S. had managed to sound both hesitant and eager, like a child wanting approval, and he knew how painful it could be not to get said approval. In other words, it was time to head back to the main floor.
Loki stopped for a few moments at the bottom of the stairs, sweeping his eyes over the place where his soul had become one. The furniture had been rearranged somewhat so that the white grand piano fit in seamlessly. Loki distinctively remembered having passed out in that exact same spot. J.A.R.V.I.S. obviously had a lot of fun making this happen.
He walked purposefully to the leather stool and sat down despite the audience. Loki had expected to get an audience eventually, certainly, but he had not thought he would have one from the start. The Black Widow was on the couch, eyes on her magazine, dutifully travelling over the words, but Loki knew all her attention was truly on him, for he could feel it prickle against his skin.
No matter. Someone would have come to listen at some point, it was inevitable. Was that not the whole point of playing music in a public space? Loki debated for a moment on which song to start with among the new repertoire he had heard. He ended up not going for one of Romanoff's songs just yet. He did not need her to tell him how much he was butchering it. Besides, the title of the song on Banner's playlist was just too perfect as his first concerto, especially when played in this exact spot where an invasion was technically won.
After the first few moments of repeating notes, the Midgardian had put her magazine down – Loki heard the distinct sound of that glossy paper hitting the couch. Before he'd even hit the first half minute of the song, Natasha was leaning against the side of the piano, staring at him so blatantly that he stopped mid-measure and shifted his gaze from the empty music shelf to her impassive face.
"Tell me that's Everybody Wants To Rule The World."
Loki made sure his face remained impassive as well. "It is."
"Tell me you're going to sing, because that music just needs those lyrics with it. I don't have anything against instrumental renderings, but there's no way I'm letting you do this if there's no singing with this acoustic concert of yours."
That left Loki rather speechless. He did not let it show, of course. He had not intended to sing – even though, obviously, the songs he intended to play on the piano originally had lyrics. In Asgard singing was either reserved for drinking songs – for men, of course, and they were not his style at all – or they were beautiful, poetic songs performed by strictly female performers. Suffice it to say, Loki had never been one to sing in public, though on occasion he had done so in private, alone or with his mother. He had enjoyed it then. And this was Midgard. Men and women sang songs of all genres. And it was not like these Fear For Tears singers had made their song very complicated.
Loki started the piece over under Natasha's vigilant eye, and when the time was right he intoned the first words, "welcome to your life", in the perfect pitch that he had been born with. He ended up singing the whole song with Natasha perfectly still against the piano's side. If she expressed any emotions he did not know it – he made sure to keep his eyes far away from her face. He would wait for her judgment after the fact. He wanted to enjoy his performance while he could first.
"So you've been listening to a lot of human music, then?"
No comment on his performance itself. Was that a good or a bad thing? "That depends on how you define 'a lot'." If Midgardian music rivalled Midgardian literature in number, then Loki had not even scratched the surface.
"Right. You could have just listened to a couple of songs, I suppose. It's not like I've heard your whole repertoire. Or have I?"
Loki snorted softly. "Certainly not."
"Do you have pianos on Asgard? No, right. How long did it take you to learn this, then?" Loki cocked his head. "I suppose as a song it's beginner level, but…" Natasha trailed off, and just looked at him, expecting an answer.
Loki was torn. He had only listened to the song earlier, and he had not played it before now. Was that normal, though? He doubted it. Not for a Midgardian, anyway. Not even for most Asgardians. Even if Thor had been musically inclined – which he certainly was not – he would have needed more time to remember it all. Loki had an exceptionally good memory for these things. Music, magic, they all had a patterned flow to it that he could instantly commit to memory.
"Oh my god, don't tell me you only listened to it just the once." As always, the Black Widow was unnaturally perceptive. "You did. Sing something else! Any song, I don't care." Her face showed true excitement, and for once it did not feel fake, half-true or restrained. She was truly interested in hearing him play – and apparently sing – and that was the kind of opening he had been looking for to get her on his side. Because although she was on Tony's side – mostly – she was still very wary of him. It was in her carefully calculated movements when he entered the radius of her throwing knives. Except this very minute, when she eagerly leaned over the piano's side, waiting for him to put his fingers on the keys.
And speaking of keys… Perhaps a song from her own playlist would win her over entirely. He started on the first note. "She's just a girl and she's on fire." Natasha practically squealed, and halfway through the song she started singing along with him.
"Oh. My. God. I love Alicia Keys, she's the best, but I can't believe you just somehow managed to sing it better? Maybe it's the accent. It's got to be the accent. Because if it's the alienness or the magicality of you, that's just not fair game." She said it all with an enormous grin, showing that she did not begrudge him his apparently great performance of Girl On Fire in the least. "Can I ask for an encore? Or you can do another song, whichever. Please?"
Well, if it was asked with such enthusiasm. It was not like he was having fun at all himself, no. Not at all. It was dreadful, having someone chaining him to this instrument as if he had nothing better to do. Luckily, as long as he did not say these lies out loud, Tony would not know about them. He wondered if Tony would like his rendering of Midgard's music. The music Tony preferred was much… louder.
Loki picked something that would work better for the piano than some of Tony's loud songs. A song from a certain Lady Antebellum that used a piano already. After the first two measures Natasha was onto him.
"Oh, oh, I know this one, Clint likes this! What's it— Yes, Need You Now, that's the one!"
Loki started singing, and in a role reversal Natasha joined him when the original had the male singer come in. They were about to reach the chorus when he could feel Barton's magical signature on the edge of his range – strangely enough, music had always had a way of making him more aware of his surroundings on certain occasions, while on others it could make him completely blind to them. Loki made sure not to look Barton's way.
"It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now. Said I wouldn't call, but I lost all control, and I need you now. And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now," he sang together with Natasha. It did not take long to feel Barton's glare on him intensify, and as the song progressed it only got stronger.
"So you can sing now, too? You're turning in quite the popstar. Do you intend to invade Hollywood next? It's not like you don't have the acting skills."
"Don't be such a jerk, Clint."
Barton gaped at her, and Loki had a lot of trouble suppressing his mirth. Jealousy suited Barton very ill – it made his face contort in the most horrible of ways.
"Don't listen to him, Loki. He just doesn't like that you know his musical tastes."
Barton snorted. "As if he knows anything like that about me. He might have known everything I knew and did during, you know, but music certainly never came up."
That required a response, did it not? Another song Barton listens to… Ah, yes. "Made a wrong turn, once or twice," Loki started, and Barton just stood there with his mouth hanging half open. Loki made sure to keep eye-contact while he continued, "mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood." Barton stalked over, muttering "no fucking way." Which was, well. To quote Pink's title, Fuckin Perfect.
"Come on, Clint," Loki heard Natasha say.
"No fucking way," he repeated, now with a very different meaning. Too bad. It would have been funny to hear Barton sing this with him.
"Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever ever feel, like you're less than fuckin' perfect."
"Ah come on, Clint, I know you want to."
When Loki reached the second chorus, Barton got tired of Natasha's repeated elbows hitting him in the ribs. "Fucking fine."
He stepped up just in time for the more… spoken part of the song, and Loki let him do that on his own. They both sang the final chorus together at full volume – loud enough, perhaps, to be heard below the earth. It would explain the surprise and mirth coming off of his soulmate in waves. If it had only been that, Loki would have stopped at the end of this song. But Tony was also curious and impressed, which meant, first of all, that J.A.R.V.I.S. was helping Tony spy on them, and second of all, that Loki had more songs to sing. Enough songs to make Tony come up here and listen to him in person.
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Since he'd come down Tony had been tackling the Stark Phone versus Jötunn Ice conundrum. He'd managed not to think about anything but that for quite a while. The moment genius struck and he only had assembly to do in order to test some things out, of course, was the moment his mind wasn't occupied enough to keep his hyper-awareness of the openness of the bond and Loki's little spikes of emotion at bay. He pushed the thought-nudges aside, but the third time he caught himself staring into space with a soldering iron in hand, he decided to stop there. He was pretty much done, anyway. This was just him adding on unnecessary bells and whistles. It wasn't like he could modify anything more until he had Loki freeze the hell out of it.
Besides, the strangest feelings were bobbing along the soul bond – they weren't emotions he could identify, even though he knew that he knew that feeling. He just couldn't put a label on it and it was driving him insane.
"J.A.R.V., show me Loki, will you?"
The nearest tablet – two desks away – flared to life, music and all. It took Tony the whole six steps to get there to realise that one, he knew the song, two, it was acoustic and he'd never heard that version before, three, he knew that voice and he didn't at the same time. The visual was what made it all make sense. Loki, on the main floor of the penthouse, on the piano he'd ordered the moment he'd learned about the increase of musically inclined people in the tower, singing a pop song with Natasha bobbing along next to him, and Clint looking particularly sour. It was hard to hear what the exchange between the two assassins was about, but it involved a lot of elbows in ribs, and then all of a sudden Clint started to sing the next bit, and if Tony had been drinking the cold coffee he had in his hand, he'd have sprayed it all over the place. First of all, Clint could sing. Not that he'd known that Loki could sing, but that didn't surprise him in the least – the guy could pretty much do anything he put his mind to, it seemed. Tony knew the feeling. It came with the genius territory. But apparently Tweety could sing, and second of all, he knew this song by heart. This pop song that Tony had never bothered knowing the title or interpreter of, but that had been pretty popular like a year ago? It still was popular, if Clint was anything to go by.
When the song ended, Natasha clapped, Clint grimaced, and Tony was a bit jealous. He wanted to be up there. But he wasn't going to go. Not yet. Loki was having a moment with those two recalcitrant ninjas, he couldn't interrupt that, but he was eager to see what Loki would do next.
"I've always wanted to know what Steve listens to. Do you happen to know any of his songs?" Natasha asked.
Why would Loki know what music Steve listens to? Had he been asking people what their favourite songs were, or something? And if so, had he asked everyone except him? He'd known Clint's song, hadn't he?
And Loki started playing another tune that Tony had heard before – he'd heard it too many times, even. This thing was way too popular. Also, Tony might have sung it once or twice before, but no one apart from J.A.R.V.I.S. knew that. The damn thing just got stuck in your head. No wonder Steve liked it, it was so him.
It did sound better on a piano. But hearing Loki singing it was absolutely insane. "I hope you're recording all of this."
"Of course, Sir."
On screen Loki reached the chorus, and Tony couldn't stop grinning, this was so ridiculous. "Baby, you're a firework. Come on, show 'em what you're worth. Make 'em go, 'Oh, oh, oh'. As you shoot across the sky." Right, that was the name of the song, Firework, from that Perry woman.
In a way Tony was both glad and sad when the song finished. This was just one of those golden moments. Also because Clint was so obviously trying to scowl up a storm and failing.
"Apparently you're privy to all our musical choices, which, fucking rude…" Ha, Clint could talk! "So, what is Coulson's jam?" Oh, nice one, birdy boy! Tony wanted to know that too.
Loki pulled a strange face for just a millisecond – idioms, God Tony loved idioms – before he struck a key and started singing without warning. "Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh, oh-oh-oh, caught in a bad romance," and then some "Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah, roma, roma-ma, Gaga, ooh-la-la, want your bad romance." Before he knew it Tony was on his arse, on the floor, laughing while Loki sang Lady Gaga, and Natasha and Clint joined in, and when he clocked this was Phil's song, he had the giggles so bad he was crying and his abs got a better workout than any push-ups he could have done. He was breathing hard at the end of this magnificent performance, and some mixed feelings were coming from Loki's end – yeah, Tony didn't see this kind of music being Loki's favourite, no.
Natasha and Clint were debating whose musical choices they wanted to hear next – more of Phil's or Steve's – when Rhodey strolled in. He took in Tony's soulmate at the piano, and the debate going on, and said, "Are you people having a karaoke without me? I know I'm not officially part of the club, but that's just not fair."
"What is a karaoke?" Loki asked, head tilted just so, and Tony couldn't stop Fate's nudge that made him feel that distinctive tightening in his chest from the aww-so-cute. It was eye-roll worthy, that saccharine impression, so he did just that.
Meanwhile, Clint didn't even answer the question. "This isn't a karaoke, it's a concert. Loki's been listening in on our private playlists, apparently." The cold bastard. Not a shred of compassion for aliens with culture shock.
"I was the one who suggested Mr Friggason familiarise himself with Earth music through your musical choices." Aww, his baby J.A.R.V. was coming to the rescue of Tony's other half. Tony was so proud to be his daddy.
"So you don't just play classic, but also pop and stuff? Didn't you, like, just learn how to play?" Rhodey was the best. The look on Clint's face! Yeah, you didn't know Loki was that awesome, did you?
"Loki can also play a song perfectly after listening to it just once," Natasha added. She was obviously having a field day. God, the way she smirked when Clint tried very hard – and very badly – to conceal how impressed he was by that.
"I don't believe you," the bastard said to cover up his own inadequacies. Did Clint get up on the wrong side of the bed or what? He hadn't been this nasty yesterday.
Loki was, of course, awesome. He didn't let any of the hurt Tony could feel over the bond show, and he stayed perfectly, princely polite. "Do you wish me to prove it? J.A.R.V.I.S., could you let us hear a song I have not heard before?"
"Of course, Mr Friggason. Here is Somebody That I Used To Know, by Gotye feat Kimbra. Mr Banner has it on his latest playlist." The guitars of a song that Tony recognised as being a terrible earworm started, and similarly to Natasha who was actually singing along softly, Tony found himself humming the tune two thirds into the song.
Loki started his piano version a mere ten seconds after the official tune ended, and while Tony tried to concentrate on Clint's face and the growing fascination-slash-shock-slash-dismay, by the second half of the first verse he only had eyes for Loki. "You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness. Like resignation to the end, always the end. So when we found that we could not make sense, well, you said that we would still be friends. But I'll admit that I was glad it was over." The strong sadness that accompanied the words was squeezing his heart tight, and he could feel how much this was about their soul bond.
"But you didn't have to cut me off. Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing. And I don't even need your love. But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough." The image on his tablet blurred, and Tony was about to ask J.A.R.V.I.S. what was going on when a drop of… something fell on the screen. That couldn't be rain, he was inside, underground, in a room where temperature and moisture were strictly controlled. And that only left one thing. Tony touched an under-eye, and his finger came back wet. Yep. Tears. Because Loki was singing. Or, more likely, because Loki was singing with so much feeling that it overflowed in Tony, while Loki's own face remained perfectly dry. Talk about unfair. Tony was glad when Natasha joined Loki in the song, and the intensity of it all dropped back down to normal.
"Wow. You're even more amazing at this than I thought," said Rhodey. "Is it because you're an alien, because you're magical or because you're a prince, do you think?"
Loki laughed, and that made Tony feel all warm. Rhodey was the best. The way he interacted with Loki, it was like they were great friends already. Rhodey was the kind of 'all in' kind of guy. Except not with everyone, it would seem. He had angled himself so that he was clearly talking to Loki, including Natasha in the conversation, and completely shutting Clint out. It was glorious.
"I do believe it is all three," Loki said with a smirk.
"Damn. I'd hoped it was the prince bit. I'd have had a chance at becoming awesome if I found a princess to marry."
"Or you could learn to weave spells."
The look on Rhodey's face. It was magnificent – that moment of total disbelief, and then the sparkle of hope when his Dungeons and Dragons reptilian brain woke up. "Teach me."
Loki laughed again. "Perhaps one day."
"I'm gonna be a wizard! Yes!" Rhodey said with a ridiculous fist pump that made Tony snort. "Okay, meanwhile, if you're taking musical requests oh lord prince, can you—"
"No requests," Natasha interrupted. "You need to let the master choose for you."
"Why?"
"It's unfair otherwise. We didn't get to choose," she said with a pout, and Rhodey obviously fell for that. "Besides, I'm sure Loki hasn't had time to listen to all of our playlists, right?"
"About half a dozen per inhabitant at most. And you are correct, I will choose what I play myself."
Loki started up a very quick sequence of notes, his fingers flying over the keys like he'd been doing it all his life. Wow, this is my soulmate, was the thought that suddenly came to Tony, and he shook it off just as quickly as it had come. Seriously. He knew that already, no need to nudge.
Even before Loki started to sing, Rhodey's face had reached that stage of surprised horror he usually kept in store for Tony's craziest moments – obviously Rhodey had recognised whatever this was. It was familiar, in a way, but Tony couldn't quite pinpoint it.
"When the cold wind is a-calling, and the sky is clear and bright. Misty mountains sing and beckon, lead me out into the light." Tony frowned, he definitely knew this. "I will ride, I will fly, chase the wind and touch the sky." Ooooh, wait! Wait, this was Disney! The latest one! With Merida! What was it— Oh, yes, Brave. Rhodey had been listening to this recently? Learning them by heart, no doubt, secret Disney-lover that he was. And now Loki had outed him to the others – and from the mirth coming over the bond, he knew exactly what he was doing too. This was Tony's soulmate, all right. Could he be any more perfect? Shut up, Fate Lady!
"What on Earth was that?" Clint said loudly the exact moment the last note ended.
Natasha hit him on the back of the head. "Don't be such a jerk. As if you don't know. You want to make fun of him because he likes Disney, right? You think I won't tell that you saw Brave two days ago? What was it you said?" She lowered her voice in an imitation of the now sour-looking man beside her. "I want to know where Stark's nicknames come from." She grinned very cat-like. "He wants to compete with Tony in the reference department. Isn't it cute?"
Clint tssked, and used the lame excuse of checking on lunch preparations to flee the scene. Natasha rolled her eyes, shared one of those 'my boyfriend is so ridiculous' looks with Loki – from the current camera angle Tony couldn't see Loki's face, but from the kind of internal sigh purposefully sent Tony's way, he was sure he wouldn't have liked Loki's expression at all.
"My turn!" said Natasha, and so the piano started again. She immediately started singing along, and Loki only joined her in the chorus of this very Rhianna-like song. "Not really sure how to feel about it, something in the way you move. Makes me feel like I can't live without you, it takes me all the way. I want you to stay."
Natasha and Loki's voices really complimented each other, and Tony wasn't sure how he felt about that. Shouldn't he be happy that Loki could get along with the assassin now? They had that same sly vibe about them, so he'd known from the start that they totally could be BFFs if Natasha got her head out of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s arse. Wasn't it selfish of him to want to keep Loki all to himself? Sure, he was Tony Stark, you couldn't do more self-serving than him, but still. It was ridiculous to feel jealous of Natasha. Loki was his soulmate, for God's sake!
Oh. Of course. This was a thought-nudge. Never mind, then.
The first few measures of the new song Loki just started sounded really familiar, and yet not. It took Tony a whole first sentence to get it, which was really embarrassing. "Back in black, I hit the sack, I've been too long I'm glad to be back." Yep, AC/DC sure sounded very different when you made it acoustic and sang it in a lower pitch. It made him feel all fuzzy inside, though, to know that Loki had listened to his music too – though now that he thought about it, Loki had actually sat listening to a few hours-worth of Tony's music when they'd been researching magic.
The tablet suddenly cut off in the middle of the song, and Tony stared at the black screen with confusion. This was a Stark tablet. They didn't just run out of battery without a warning – and besides, the battery lasted days, and he'd just taken it off the charging pad earlier.
"J.A.R.V.," he said in a warning tone, narrowing his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Sir, I won't let you stay cooped up down here when the others are enjoying the music in person. If you want to hear more of Mr Friggason's performance, you will have to head up stairs."
"Tss. That is so mean. Why are you so mean to your Daddy?"
"Because I would like my Daddy to grow up, Sir."
"Ouch." That level of snark from his baby was so… wonderful! Fantastic! His J.A.R.V.I.S. was so much like him, but better! He was so proud of his boy! "Fine. You win."
Since he didn't have much choice, Tony headed up. He arrived in the middle of a new song. Grease. Classic. "You're the one that I want, you are the one I want, ooh, ooh, ohh," sang Loki and Rhodey, of all people. Natasha had left her spot next to the piano to let Rhodey take her place, so Tony went to stand next to her. He was just out of Loki's field of vision, but he had no doubt his soulmate knew he was there.
"Whose song is this, then?" he asked her.
"Coulson." She eyed him from the side for a long second. "You've been monitoring us, I assume."
"I wouldn't call it monitoring. Enjoying the concert from downstairs, more like. You sing well."
"Of course." Right. Spies. They're good at absolutely fucking everything.
"Lunch is in thirty," Steve said from Tony's right, and he flinched. God damn it, super soldiers were too good at sneaking up on people. "I've been listening from the kitchen. He's really good on the piano."
Steve was very obviously talking to Tony, with the way he had angled his body halfway towards him. "Yep," Tony said. What else did they expect? It's not like Tony had anything to say on the matter. Loki was great at a lot of things. So much more than Tony knew of. He was over two millennia old, what did you expect?
"Hey, Loki," Natasha said when Phil's song ended. Loki turned towards them, and his gaze landed on Tony instead of her. She didn't seem to care. She threw a thumb Steve's way and said, "Do you know another song from Steve's playlist?"
"Certainly."
He turned back to the piano after another intense look at Tony. A shiver ran down Tony's spine for no reason whatsoever. After the first three notes Natasha went 'ooooh', and from the corner of his eye Tony saw the huge smile that stretched her lips. "You like Adele?"
"Yes," Steve said, and his voice was higher pitched than usual. A glance his way confirmed that red was spreading over his cheeks.
"I love this song! I think it's her best one, hands down. Don't you agree, Tony?"
What on Earth was she going on about? As if Tony ever listened to Adele, seriously. "How should I know?"
Natasha laughed. "You'll love it."
Tony rolled his eyes. Come on, of course he'd heard the song before, that piano intro was pretty well-known and he wasn't a complete ignoramus. It just wasn't his kind of music, is all.
"When the rain is blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case. I will offer you a warm embrace, to make you feel my love." Oh. Oh, yeah, that sounded very different from what he remembered when Loki was singing it. "When the evening shadows and the stars appear, and there's no one there to dry your tears. I will hold you for a million years, to make you feel my love." Tony was pretty sure he wasn't breathing. That was cutting him to the core – the words, the voice, the flood of warmth coming from the bond that was such a confusing mix of feelings. "I know you haven't made your mind up yet, but I would never do you wrong." The undertones of sadness in that brought moisture to Tony's eyes even though he had no reason to — Ah. This was transference again, wasn't it? Damn, Loki was sure capable of putting emotion into ballads, wasn't he? He sure sang it better than Adele ever did. Tony blinked to get the burn out of his eyes.
Natasha looked at him as the song ended. "Really? Nothing?"
"What?" Tony said with a frown.
"Never mind." She shook her head like a disappointed mother, and Tony bristled at that. What was her probl—
Loki started playing again, and Tony intently looked his way so that he could ignore the redhead. Besides, this was totally one of his songs – one of Linkin Park's. He walked up to go stand next to Rhodey, which gave him a perfect view of Loki. Mmh, maybe not the best plan, that. He needed a distraction…
Right. Simple, he was going to sing too. It would have been even better if he'd had a guitar – this just didn't sound right with just a piano, but whatever. In the same breath, they both sang the first words, and while Loki didn't look at Tony at all, and his face didn't betray any of his feelings, the bond didn't hide his surprise. "In this farewell, there's no blood, there's no alibi. 'Cause I've drawn regret, from the truth of a thousand lies." Yes, Tony Stark could sing, what did you expect? He found it rather insulting, really, that his soulmate would think he wouldn't have a nice voice or something. Come on! They were soulmates after all. If they supposedly complimented each other in every way, then their voices damn well would too. Tony wasn't surprised by this, why would Loki be? "So let mercy come and wash away, what I've done." Loki finally looked him in the eye, and Tony almost faltered. "I'll face myself, to cross out what I've become. Erase myself, and let go of what I've done."
Tony completely forgot about their audience, and the fact that he was singing an acoustic version of What I've Done barely registered either, because he was drowning in the green of Loki's eyes, and because of the feelings that swirled around him from inside – the bond was doing something real weird, reacting almost as strongly as if they were touching. If Tony had more than two braincells online right now – one was occupied with the lyrics and the other with pitch – he would have started an internal monologue about magic and music, or music and soul – was that what soul music was about? – or music and Lady Fate, but that would have to wait. Maybe he'd let Loki do the monologuing. Unless Loki already knew the answer to all this and didn't find it weird at all. Maybe the surprised-intrigued-curious thing was only Tony's after all. It was hard to tell whose feelings were whose at this point.
XXXxxxXXXxxxXXXxxxXXXxxxXXX
His fingers reached the last note on their own while Loki's mind was completely elsewhere – somewhere in the depth of his soulmate's eyes and the embracing swirl of light formed by the mixture of his feelings and Tony's, making them indistinguishable and one. The moment Steve started clapping, Tony's eyes shifted over to the man and the bubble burst, and they were separate again. Loki made certain he kept a tight lid on his disappointment, and lightly swept his fingers over the keys without a sound, as if to brush away the dust that was not there.
"I didn't know you could sing, Stark," Natasha said in a tone that reeked of lies. As a spy she probably knew more about his soulmate than Loki did. He could feel Tony's eyes sweep over him before turning his whole body towards Natasha, and Loki ground his teeth together. He had just let a spike of jealousy loose, had he not? It was perhaps time to stop playing; he was more and more losing control over his emotions and that was risky.
"Yeah, he can sing, all right," said Rhodey. "He rarely does, though. Says he's allergic to karaoke."
"I'm allergic to karaoke when it's with you, Rhodikins." At least the only perceivable feeling on Tony's side of the bond was humour.
"Hey, I'm not that bad!" Tony laughed, and Rhodey visibly bristled. "I'm not! And I'm definitely better at singing than when you sing drunk, which is when you sing the most, by the way, so it's no surprise no one knows you can actually sing well."
"Drunk singing doesn't count as singing."
"Says who? No, don't answer that, I don't want to know." Rhodey came back to lean over the side of the piano. "Could you play another of mine? Like a proper one? Please?"
"Disney songs are proper songs," Tony said with a smirk that Loki could feel from the inside. Natasha snickered, and Rhodey looked ready to start a full-on argument on the matter, but J.A.R.V.I.S. intervened.
"Perhaps Mr Friggason could play Colonel Rhodes' second most listened-to song?" The Artificial Intelligence's tone was as sly as Loki had ever heard it, and when he remembered which song J.A.R.V.I.S. referred to, he had to work hard to keep his face neutral. Giddiness was coming from Tony so strongly that it must show on his face – Loki hadn't tried to hide his reaction from the bond – but Rhodey didn't seem to pick up on that.
"Sure, whatever, just something less… You know."
"I hope you don't mean 'less girly' with that 'you know'," Natasha said sweetly.
Rhodey held his hands up, eyes wide. "Of course not. I just meant something that screamed a bit less 'I'm a secret Disney nerd'?"
"Last song I'm doing today. Your current second favourite song," Loki announced before he struck the first note. At the end of the first measure Rhodey groaned "not Brave again" and put his head in his hands while Tony and Natasha laughed. Tony walked over into Loki's field of vision to slap Rhodey amicably on the shoulder.
"This love, it is a distant star, guiding us home wherever we are." Loki hadn't realised he was scrutinising Tony's face until they locked eyes again. "This love, it is a burning sun, shining light on the things that we've done." It was funny, how a song that some seemed to find embarrassing and others found hilarious, could have lyrics that struck a chord – or rather, made their whole soul bond vibrate along with his vocal cords. "I try to speak to you every day, but each word we spoke, the wind blew away."
He was vaguely aware that there was a tension in the room that hadn't been there at any point during his previous performances, as if everything around him was holding its breath, even though he'd sang lyrics with much deeper meaning than this. "Could these walls come crumbling down? I want to feel my feet on the ground. And leave behind this prison we share. Step into the open air."
Open air would indeed be nice – as his fingers flew over the keys and he took a deep breath, it felt like there wasn't enough air in the room. "How did we let it come to this? What we just tasted we somehow still miss." Was it the lack of air that made him this lightheaded, or was it something else? "How will it feel when this day is done, and can we keep what we've only begun?" Tony's face was frozen in something that looked like confusion and he was breathing hard – it was so loud in Loki's ears.
"And now these walls come crumbling down, and I can feel my feet on the ground. Can we carry this love that we share, into the open air?" He was doing something with their soul bond, sending too much or opening it too wide or vibrating it too hard, perhaps all of the above, he could not tell. "Into the open air?" He should stop it, whatever it was, because Tony's face was clearly not all right with it. "Into the open air?" All of a sudden Tony wrenched himself away from his place next to Rhodey and Loki's surroundings immediately dimmed and his fingers almost faltered. Tony practically ran out of the room, and Loki barely registered someone's "lunch in ten!".
He still sang the last "this love, it is a burning sun" and felt ludicrous – compared to the 'light' from a few seconds ago, it was more like Loki had fallen into complete darkness once again. He shivered – the cold in the void had been unbearable – and while people clapped once more, he concentrated on his fingers, still on the keys, and willed them not to turn blue. For once, the Norns took pity on him and they remained unchanged.
Tony's presence was going downward fast, back to his workshop, and Loki stood. He took a few steps, slowed, and stopped. He was not going to follow. What should he do instead?
"Let's go sit down already, I'm starving," Natasha said, and she gently grabbed his elbow; he did his very best not to flinch away. He sat down at the table with the others while Steve went back to join Banner in the kitchen area. Barton was going around the table with cutlery and a frown, Deputy Director Coulson was tapping something on his phone, and Loki listened with half an ear to the conversation about music and his playing that went on around him, but in truth he was focused inward.
He wished he could determine why Tony had left so abruptly, but he was not certain he knew what had happened at all during that song called Into The Open Air. He had lost himself in it, and it was quite probable he had shown a few choice emotions that were too uncomfortable for Tony to bear. While he knew Tony would think Fate was the one nudging him along in his feelings, there was a stark different between letting snippets of devotion escape, and throwing all of it at him all at once. And there was a distinct possibility such a thing had happened. Curse the Norns, but Loki could not for the life of him remember what he did or did not do. Knowing his luck, it could not be good.
Tony had, at least, not jumped on the opportunity to shield himself. However, it did not help Loki in any way. Just like the light had been blinding in that moment, and both Tony and himself had been impossible to read and distinguish, so was the current darkness; Tony's feelings were so muddled, it was like rooting around blind. Even if you could find heaps of feelings, you could not tell what they were.
"Loki?"
He blinked, and found all the residents except one sitting around the table, lunch spread out, and the enticing smell made the knot in his stomach ease just a fraction.
"I'm sorry?"
"I said, maybe you can, you know, call Tony?" Rhodey asked from the seat to his right. When had he sat down there? Wasn't he on the opposite side of the table just a few minutes ago?
Loki shook off that crawling sensation on his skin that told him he hadn't felt the Midgardian existence around him again because his core was dangerously empty of magic. "Certainly," he said before abruptly yanking on the soul bond. The reaction coming from the other side was immediate – Tony yanked right back with indignation on the tail end of it, and it made Loki feel marginally better.
He followed Tony's way up, and into the room, and to the only empty chair on Loki's left side. "Sorry, I had to make a few last minute changes," Tony said as he held up a phone that looked identical to his own. Loki felt the obvious lie, but let it go. He should not push right now. Especially since he did not know what it would do to their current status quo. If it still was a status quo. "This looks homemade. Who's the awesome lasagn- maker?"
"I made the vegan one here. Steve made the bolognaise one with Phil," Banner said while he started hacking into the 'lasagna' before him. Presumably the 'vegan one', whatever flavour that was. Both smelled adequate, at any rate.
"Oooh, a competition, nice! I'll try both, then," Tony said as he put his plate next to the serving dish.
"Sure. How many people for some vegan lasagna, then?" People started to lift a hand up, so Loki followed suit. He too would try both flavours and know what to avoid in the future. And if he did not like either… Well, there always was the impressive spread of raw greens, even though it would not sustain him for long.
"So," Tony said as he waved the phone in front of Loki's face. "This is your new phone." Tony was acting completely normal, as if that last song and his reaction to it had not happened at all. Status quo it was, then. "Well, it's a prototype, so it might not last that long, but it's your first phone at any rate. There's an app on there that will make the phone beep to tell you when you're freezing over. I tried making the phone more ice resistant, but there's a big chance it will just die within a minute of exposure, but that's fine, I'll make you a better one. This is all I could do on short notice." Loki deftly plucked the phone from his soulmate's fingers before he could end up dropping it with all the hand waving he was doing.
"Can you pass me that salad," Rhodey asked him, and Loki put the phone on the table. "Thanks. By the way, just checking, but do you even know how to use a phone?"
"No worries, Rhodes, I made it grandpa-proof," Tony said with a smirk. "It's on easy mode, just for you. And J.A.R.V. is your tutorial. First lesson, though." He fished his own phone out of his pocket. "Let's see if you can at least answer a call." Loki rolled his eyes. As if he would be so inept.
Tony fiddled with his screen, and a few taps later hushed long beeps came out. Then Loki's new phone lit up, and music started. "Hey, soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know." With a frown Loki swept up the green circle like he had seen others do, and the non-sensical music thankfully stopped. Everyone was staring, and as one Barton, Natasha and Rhodey started to laugh.
"Hey Soul Sister? Is that really the ringtone you gave him?" Rhodey asked when he had mustered the breath for it.
"No!" Tony's surprise was genuine, as was his response. "I just left it on default! I don't know what—" Tony abruptly fell silent. "J.A.R.V.I.S. you little imp!" he said after a beat or two. "I should never have given you access to the internet! How dare you troll your dad like that?"
"Dads, you mean," Natasha said so softly it was barely a breath. Loki suspected he was not supposed to have heard.
"Apologies," J.A.R.V.I.S. said, and now everyone laughed when Tony started a diatribe about now lying to his face. J.A.R.V.I.S. cut across him. "What kind of ringtone do you truly want, Mr Friggason?"
In truth, Loki did not truly care, as long as the song was not offensively bad or the sound jarring to his hearing. He went over the few songs he had heard. If he were to choose a song, it would be more significant to choose something from his soulmate's playlist, would it not? "I do not mind the Linkin Park performers." He could feel the heat come off Tony's grin from inside him.
"How about this, then?" J.A.R.V.I.S. said, and his phone started playing music again. "Give me reason, to fill this hole, connect this space between. Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies, across this new divide." Loki nodded. It was all right. He committed the sound to memory so he would react to it if he heard it again.
Tony clapped his hands together once. "Awesome! I assume everybody has got everybody's number? Just in case, I don't know, you need saving from some overeager fans or something at the gala?"
"I don't think I—" Banner started, but J.A.R.V.I.S. interrupted.
"I have added all relevant numbers to the phones that needed it. I have also added myself, as well as a group call, to the emergency functions of your devices." Shock passed over a number of faces. Loki supposed it meant J.A.R.V.I.S. had done something considered… unconventional. "Though I would prefer it if you did not call me over issues related to overeager fans." That made some chuckle and brought smiles to the unsettled. Loki had to applaud J.A.R.V.I.S.' strategy.
"That's great and all, but that's not what I was going to say. No offense, J.A.R.V.I.S.," said Banner.
"Well tough luck, Brucey," Tony said while pointing at the man with his fork. "You're coming. That's non-negotiable."
"I'm not exactly the safest person in a crowd…"Banner said with a frown, which must mean Tony had correctly guessed the man's argument.
"Exactly! You're perfect! You can ruin the whole thing in two seconds flat and I love it. Please do exactly that after we've all had a go at the buffet and free booze, hmm?"
"Please don't," Deputy Director Coulson said with a perfectly amicable smile. "You will all go in pairs, so if at any time you feel like you need to get out, Steve will help you do just that. Barton and Romanoff will blend in with the crowd, so they should not be far if needed. The same goes for you, Loki. I unfortunately have to pair you up with the biggest man-child this side of the planet, but if for any reason you feel you cannot stay, let someone know. And Colonel," he said, pinning Rhodey with a gaze that had the man immediately straightening in his seat. "You are not one of the Avengers so you are technically free to do whatever you want, but if I could urge you to keep an eye on our star-crossed lovers here?"
"Sure. It actually used to be my job, babysitting Tony. What's one more, right?"
Loki huffed. "I do not require… babysitting." If anything he had always been the one keeping an eye on Thor and the Warriors Three.
"I know how you feel," Tony said with his mouth full. It rang like the truth, but Loki sincerely doubted the bond had interpreted that correctly. Although technically… Yes, Tony did know what Loki felt.
Even before he was done chewing, Tony shovelled another forkful in, and then another. He looked past Loki to Rhodey's plate, and swallowed audibly. "Eat up Rhodes, we've got places to be."
Rhodey frowned. "And where's that?"
"Don't you want to do an actual test run on those War Machine modifications that J.A.R.V. did overnight?" Another forkful went in.
Rhodey hesitated. His eyes went from Tony to his plate, and he hacked off a big mouthful. "Yeah, I do. But not too long either, okay. I know how you get. And I don't want to be bone-tired before that gala of yours, you know I'm not a fan of them."
"It's not my gala. It's Pepper's."
"Isn't it always?"
"Fair enough. Let's just say I feel even less involved than usual."
"Not much of a difference, then."
"Just finish your lasagna."
Both men sped up their eating, and Loki surreptitiously matched their speed to finish just after they stood up. With a 'later, peeps,' they were gone, back down below the earth, and Loki put his cutlery down as well, plate clean. He wiped his mouth with the provided serviette and stood. "I will retire as well," he said with a short bow, and left before anyone could think it wise to call him back. He had to plan for tonight's very unwelcome, unsafe public event.
Well, then. Definitely not my best work. Comes with my current health situation, I'm afraid. Next time though – I effing swear – I will get them to the gala!
For anyone who missed it above, there's a Spotify playlist for this: ASAF Tower's Playlist by Chiyoko-ojō. So that's my disclaimer right there – these song lyrics are obviously not mine, but their respective artists'.
Spread the Luv! (In a socially-distanced way)
LL