A/N: I'm evil. I am really evil. I'm sorry for the fake chapter, but I didn't know where to put these random scenes...

I'll do a few of these fillery things. You can ask me to write anything by PM or reviews (except lemons or limes. I do not write those things).

Also, to all those who are asking about Sheik: I won't spoiler anything. I'm sorry, but I fear it would ruin half of the story. I'll do my best to put hints about Sheik's identity and gender in the chapters, however.

Shadow groaned, as somebody knocked at the door.

"Who can it be?" He wondered out loud, as he shot a deathly glare at the wooden door "Potter's at school... or he should be, at least."

He hesitated. What if it was a demon? A demon who wanted him dead? As far as he knew, there were quite a lot of those, in the Boss' legions.

During day he was less strong, could he take the anything that was out there?

... yeah, he could take anything.

He opened, and his mouth dropped open. Awaiting him, there was a boyish-looking girl (or a really effeminate guy, he couldn't really tell), with her hair purple-colored and pink contacts.

What the fuck.

She grinned. "Hello, sir! I'm Bonnie. Do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and savior-"

He shut close the door.

... anything but Mormons.

xxx

Moody looked over at the class.

"What should I do? Huh?" He pointed at the cockroach on the desk with his wand. "Kill it?"

As nobody answered, he frowned.

"The last curse, is the one of death. Avada Kedavra!"

There was a green flash, and the students covered their eyes.

When they opened them, the cockroach was... still alive? The hell?

As everybody stared at the insect in confusion, a muggleborn raised an eyebrow. "My childhood cartoons got it right, apparently."

xxx

The author smiled, as she clicked the "submit" button. Another chapter of that shitty fanfic had been added.

She lied down, relaxing. Another job, well done. Well, or so other people said. She wasn't sure about that. Meh. Never mind.

She wasn't expecting to be suddenly held by the jacket and shook violently around. She opened her eyes, and screamed as she saw exactly who was shaking her, if more because of the incredulity or fangirlyness she wasn't sure.

"Pittoo?!"

The angel growled. "Do not call me that."

Dark Pit indicated the pc's screen, indignation showing on his perfect, handsome, dark- yeah, was I saying, on his face.

"What's the meaning of this? You stole my character!" He exclaimed, scowling.

Yuyake no Okami laughed sheepishly. "I thought it was a fitting personality for Shadow Link... is it so bad?"

"Very." Deadpanned Dark Pit.

The two stayed silent for a while, as the author thought about it for a moment.

After some seconds, Yuyake no Okami sighed. "You know what?"

Dark Pit raised an eyebrow. "What?"

She smirked evilly. "I don't give a flying fuck. And, in the next crossover, you are gonna pay for this, just like Light there."

Pittoo's eyes widened in horror, as he noticed a miserable-looking girl holding what looked like a creepy vampire kid in her arms the author was pointing at.

He turned to her. "Why are you doing this?"

She cocked her head. "What a stupid question. Because I can!"

xxx

Minerva sighed, as she watched Link singing happily with Hagrid.

Note for self: Hylians can't stand alcohol. Never give it to Link anymore...

"... Bump in my hoopty-hoopty-hoop I own that-"

... no matter how damn good he is at imitating Nicki Minaj.

xxx

The commander whose name was never revealed sighed.

"Why cant you just tell that? Everybody by now understood who I am!"

The author shook her head. "Nope. Your introduction has got to be dramatic, do ya feel me?"

He grumbled. "You're such a drama queen."

"Ain't accepting that from you, Orochimaru."

A/N: God I'm so LAME!

Can you see the two jokes in this chapter? If you do, you'll receive a virtual hug AND a mention in the next chapter! Woo me!