Yesterday was the awkward dinner. Mom didn't seem to think it was as awkward as I did. Maybe I just expected differently. To me, it seemed a little awkward.

"Callie's parents were nice." Mom sat on the couch with her cup of coffee. She kept saying that. She was totally trying to get a less boring response from me, but I didn't really know what to say.

"I guess so." I shrugged.

Mom tilted her head.

"Mom. They didn't really talk to me. And all Callie's Dad cared about was that you didn't go to college. They were fine, I guess. It was a little awkward."

"I wouldn't say it was awkward." Mom was trying so hard to look on the bright side. I think she felt like she had to love Callie's parents.

"I don't know how bright and happy Callie came from them." I mumbled.

"Olivia Rae!"

"What?"

"Be respectful."

"It's not like they can hear me."

"Shush" Mom held up her finger.

"Ok, ok." I sighed in defeat.

There was some silence, then, "He was really stuck up on the college thing, huh?"

I nodded.

"Do you think he thinks that means I'm dumb or something?"

I giggled, "I dunno. Even if he does, who cares? He'd be wrong."

"I care!" Mom exclaimed.

"Why?"

"Because he's my girlfriends dad. What if he thinks I'm bad for her because I have no college education?" Mom rambled.

I didn't see the big deal. I was sure Mom's level of education and how Callie's Dad felt about it wouldn't mean anything to Callie. Callie already knew Mom hadn't gone to college. She didn't care. "I think you're being dramatic." I told her.

"I totally am." Mom laughed a little.

"Plus, I don't think Callie really cares, anyway." I shrugged.

"She doesn't. But still." Mom sighed. "I hope I made a good first impression."

"I think you did." Mom was a good person. If Callie's parents didn't realize that, that's their own fault.

"Hopefully," Mom smiled a little.

"You did..." I looked down at my phone, opening it up to see a text from one of my best friends, Isa.

*one link attachment* Livs isn't this ur dad?? r u ok?

I opened the message and clicked on the link.

Dealer finally caught

Police say he has been on their radar for a year

Ben Lowett finally caught

What will his sentence be?

I didn't real the whole thing. Just bits and pieces. And, my fathers mug shot.

"Mom."

"Yeah honey?"

I just gave her my phone.

She immediately gasped as she started scrolling. "What the hell? Where did you see this? Is this real?" Mom sat up a little straighter.

"Isa sent me it. I dunno." I didn't know what to say. Dealer? As in drugs? I was in... shock.

I watched as Mom exited the article and googled Dad's name. Sure enough, a million more articles saying the same thing popped up.

"Did you know about this??" I couldn't help but wonder if this was something Mom was lying to me about. Something she 'thought I shouldn't know.'

"What? That he was dealing? No!" Mom said quickly, looking at me like I was crazy. "I knew he...sometimes used. But, never this."

"It says police were looking for him for a year. How did you not know that?"

"He was on their radar. Sometimes they're super hush hush about this stuff." Mom ran hand through her hair. "A year. We were still living with him."

I bit my lip. Mom went back over to the text message from Isa, squinting to read it. Then, she passed me my phone.

"Tell her you're fine. That was... nice of her." Mom said plainly.

I just nodded a little. If Isa saw it, did that mean everyone did? Would everyone at school know tomorrow? What would people think of me?

"Oh God." Mom stood up. She rubbed her eyes. "What the hell."

"Well, nice to know he wasn't trying to get better and... I don't know... be my Dad again this whole time" I laughed a little. It wasn't funny. I was sad. And angry. But, laughing about it was a coping mechanism. A bad one.

"Baby.." Mom frowned and immediately hugged me tightly.

"It's fine. I didn't actually think he..."

"I'm so sorry." Mom held me tightly.

"He's gonna be in jail for a while?" I asked.

"I don't know. I don't know what he did, that article didn't say much. Maybe I'll call someone." Mom said softly. I could tell just by her voice that if I wanted her to, she would. She was willing to do a lot for me, even if she didn't necessarily want to do it. I guess that's a mothers job.

"You don't have to."

"Do you want me to?"

I shrugged. I guess I was curious. But, I also knew that he wouldn't care about me either way. Why put Mom through that.

"I'm sure it'll come out in articles eventually." I said quietly. Mom didn't have to call someone from his side of the family. They all were kind of.. odd. Mean. It wasn't worth it.

"I guess so." Mom nodded slowly.

"Are you ok?" I asked. I was worried about how Mom felt after this news. This was a lot. And, she had been doing.. good recently.

"Me?" Mom looked down at me.

"Yeah, you" I nodded.

"Not really," Mom laughed sadly. "But I'll be ok. What about you, baby?" She was clearly more worried about me.

And I was more worried about her.

We really are similar.

"I'm fine. Worried about you." I admitted.

"You don't have to worry about me."

I would always worry about Mom, though. After all she-well, we-had been through. I would always worry about her.