Thank you KnightMaiden, foursidedtriangle, and butterflykisses71 for reviewing! Let's keep it up. I love reading your comments. They are so encouraging. Here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it! I'm going for at least five reviews for this chapter. Make my dreams come true. Hahahaha
Chapter 6: A Journey Into the North
The weeks were flying by. Carina could hardly believe it was over a month since she and Arabela had first arrived. Even though Arabela had not spoken another word to her since that day many weeks ago, Carina held onto hope that one day she would come around. Tristan's friendship had become very dear to her. He just saw things differently, and it was nice to get a new perspective.
Carina was enjoying her time spent with the children at Vanora's house, and it seemed the children had taken quite a liking to her as well. Three was her favorite, a shy girl of seven years old with hair just like her mother's. Carina had secretly named her Fiorella, her little flower.
Arabela also seemed to be doing well. She had gotten out of bed just a few days after her fever broke and was now running, laughing, and playing around the fort. The other knights had taken a great liking to her, and could often be found involved in one of her games.
The older sister had met the other knights as well. They seemed nice and completely harmless towards them. Lancelot was kind but was a bit of a womanizer. Carina had seen him with several women during her stay here. Bors had become a great friend, as well as Dagonet. Galahad, the youngest one and closest to Carina's age, was always good for a laugh, as well as Gawain. Geraint, Gawain's brother, was a little quieter but always offered an encouraging word. Kay was tall and rather intimidating. He didn't speak much to her but was rowdy with the other knights.
Carina still held the memories of her father close, although she didn't think about him as much. "It is okay to move on," as Tristan had told her, and so slowly but surely life continued on for her. Father would not have wanted her to be upset for so long anyway. She tried in everything to live as he would have wanted her to.
Spring was changing into summer, and the days were growing more humid. It never really got hot in Britain like it had in Rome, but summer was still a time for green meadows and lush trees and flowers. Carina loved the change of the seasons.
On one beautiful summer day, while Carina was playing hide and seek in the village with the children, Vanora came out to meet her.
"Carina!" she called.
Carina ran over to the red-haired woman who had a bright smile on her face.
"You have been working hard without a single day to yourself for over three weeks now," Vanora said.
"Oh, but I love it. Your children are so much fun," Carina interjected, panting from their games.
"Yes, I know, but you need some time to do what you want. Why don't you take the rest of the day off?"
Carina stared at Vanora expectantly. "But who will watch over the children?"
"I took care of them before you came along, and I can take care of them now," Vanora laughed. "Besides, Bors can get off his lazy arse and help me."
"Are you sure?" Carina asked.
"Yes, I'm sure! Now, git outta here before I change my mind!"
Carina smiled before turning and running off into the village. She loved the children very much, but she was also happy to have a day off. And there was only one place she wanted to go.
"Okay, you chilluns, game is over! Go wake up your father!" Carina heard Vanora yell as she hurried away. She just laughed, however, and kept going as fast as she could.
The woods used to be her comfort, her shelter, but after the Saxons had attacked they had become her enemy. The fear she had experienced in them stayed with her long after the other emotions had passed. Now, however, many days had come and gone, and the forest was calling to her again, no longer holding its dark secrets. Carina left the south gate, which remained open most of the time since there was not much danger to the south and sprinted through the green field to the line of trees.
Once she reached them, she slowed to a walk, breathing in the silence and solidarity of the woods, the smell of the bark, and the sounds of the animals frolicking just beyond her sight. Carina wandered for a bit, not traveling too far from the wall, before settling down with her back against a tree trunk.
Nowadays, without even realizing it, Carina would find herself thinking about Delanna and her family. Delanna had been her best friend growing up, and now she didn't even know if she was still alive.
A twig snapped behind her, but it did not startle her. Tristan usually found her, no matter where she tried to hide.
"Hello, Tristan," she said with a smile, not bothering to turn around.
The scout came around to face her, squatting on his ankles to be eye level. "I see I've been found out."
"Yes, and by a Roman, no less," Carina joked.
Tristan chuckled. "I suppose I'll have to be more careful next time."
Carina smiled, studying him. He had opened up to her more and more over the past few weeks, but his face was yet unreadable to her. Even when he smiled, it seemed he was still holding something back, but she could not discover what it was. His eyes were peering at her from underneath his long hair, as usual. His gaze used to unnerve her, but now it was almost comforting. When he was looking at her it was like there was no one else in the world.
"What are you thinking about?" Tristan asked, picking up a stick and drawing little circles in the dirt with it.
"About home, actually," Carina answered. "And old friends. Do you think anything is left?"
"I imagine not. The Saxons burn everything."
"Do you think everyone left behind is dead?" Carina asked.
Tristan shrugged. "Some could have escaped, like you and your sister."
Carina looked up at the blue sky through the trees. "I would like to go back someday, just to see it."
"Are you sure about that?" Tristan was staring at her, a concerned look on his face. "There is probably nothing left."
"I know…" Carina sighed. "But I can't just sit here wondering. I have to see it with my own eyes."
Tristan's eyes turned thoughtful. "I suppose we could talk to Arthur about it."
Carina grinned. "Really?"
"Well, don't get all excited. He may very well say no. And of course, somebody would have to go with you," Tristan said.
"Wouldn't you come?" Carina asked. "I mean, after all, you are the scout."
Tristan smiled. "I guess I could."
Arthur was not keen on the idea of an expedition to the north. He considered it too dangerous, and although he understood the need for an escort, it was hard for him to send along one of his knights, even Tristan. After several days of compelling arguments from both Carina and Tristan, however, Arthur relented. Tristan would lead the two sisters far into the north, back to their home.
Carina at last sat down with Arabela, and although the younger sister still did not say a word to her, she let Carina explain their journey, should she want to go. After Carina had finished speaking, Arabela simply got up and left to pack.
They left early the next morning, Carina riding Mea, their old horse who had been taken good care of in the stables, and Arabela riding with Tristan. They left by way of the north gate, Carina knowing they were entering enemy territory for the knights. She had had no trouble with the Woads, but prayed silently they would still not come across any.
As the day continued, the sun rose, burning the fog away and brightening their path. The trees shone with dew. Carina found it hard to believe they were heading to her home, the place she had fled in terror, and yet she was finding new beauty in these surroundings. Excitement and nervousness filled her body; happy to be heading home, but scared of what they would find.
The day passed surprisingly quickly, and soon they were stopping for the night. They were much better prepared than when Carina and Arabela had first made the journey. Tristan built a fire for them and cooked a rabbit he had killed along the way. In the coming darkness, Carina was glad he was there.
Arabela was silent but looked happier around her sister than she had in many weeks. She ate the meat hungrily and was soon sprawled out under the blankets close to the fire. Carina laughed merrily.
"She is acting more like the six year old she is," Carina said.
Tristan laughed softly. "We might have to steal one of those blankets from her."
Carina nodded, realizing she was getting a little chilly, even sitting close to the fire. Nights in Britain were cold no matter what the season was.
Tristan crept over to Arabela and expertly peeled one the blankets from the young girl's grasp. Carina giggled quietly when Arabela stirred but did not wake up. Tristan smiled, bringing the blanket back to Carina and wrapping it around her shoulders.
"Thank you," Carina said, grabbing the sides of the blankets with her fingers and pulling it tighter.
Tristan nodded and sat back down. The two stayed that way in silence, sitting close but not touching. Finally Carina looked over at him.
"Tell me about your home."
Tristan's face was dancing in the light of the fire, his eyes even deeper and more mysterious, his sharp features enhanced by the darkness around them. Carina realized it was in the darkness she had first met him, so terrified, so alone. How different things were now.
"Home is just a memory to me," Tristan said, his gaze on the fire.
"Well, then tell me your memories."
The scout sighed heavily. He had not thought about home in a very long time. "I was taken by the Romans when I was fifteen. I had two younger siblings: a sister and a brother. I can barely remember their faces now. We had a small home in a village surrounded by fields of green grass. And that's all I remember."
"Do you want to go back there after your service to the Romans is completed?" Carina asked. She had learned all about the Sarmatian knights' servitude to Rome for fifteen years, how they had four years left, how many had died already.
"I don't know. I don't think about it too much," Tristan answered, finally turning his face to hers.
Carina studied him. "You really don't think about your family? Don't you wonder if they're still alive…waiting for you to return?"
Tristan shrugged. "You don't think about those things when your duty is to kill others."
Carina looked away, knowing Tristan was an expert at killing his enemies. It was hard to imagine him that way, however, because she had only seen him as simply Tristan, the soft-spoken man who had become her friend.
"I hope home is always precious to me, no matter how far away I go or how long the time has been," Carina said softly.
"And what do you think of as your home? Where you came from or where we are going? Because I guarantee they will not be one in the same," Tristan replied.
Carina sighed, knowing he most likely told the truth. Her head believed him but her heart refused to. "I suppose home to me is wherever I choose to make it, wherever I am the most comfortable, wherever there is love and happiness."
"So your home is at Hadrian's Wall now?" It seemed more like a statement than a question.
Carina smiled slightly. "Yes, I guess it is."
They sat in companionable silence once again, both staring into the fire, the sounds of the woods echoing softly through the night. Carina allowed her mind to wander. Her home had been with her father because she loved and trusted him. Now her home was Hadrian's Wall because she loved and trusted Tristan. She glanced over at him. Yes, she did love Tristan.
As a friend, Carina told herself quickly. Only as a friend.
Yet if she loved him only as a friend, why did her pulse beat faster at his very presence? Why did she yearn to reach out and touch him, hold him, kiss him?
Carina tried to shake the thoughts from her head. Even if she did love Tristan as more than a friend, he would never return it. He was a knight. He killed other men without as much as a hint of regret. To him, she was probably just a young girl who needed to be looked after. Carina sighed, leaning her head back, allowing the dancing fire to lull her into a thoughtless daze.