'The Art of War'
part 2
Ukyo tapped her foot against the floor before her bed, huffing and harking over how long Ranma was taking in the bathroom. She had paused the DVD so that the pigtailed boy wouldn't miss a minute of it, and it had been several minutes since his absence.
"Just what is Ranchan doing in there?"
The young chef decided that as long as he was using the facilities, she may as well get herself prepared for her 'best friend'. A quick strip and nothing but a tiny, barely covering terrycloth robe later, Ukyo smiled cheerfully to herself, before sitting back on her bed. Her smile faded, as she looked back at the clock in her room; fifteen minutes since Ranma's been in the bathroom.
"Really, he better not be clogging my toile-" Ukyo's verbal though stopped on her lips, as she realized something else Ranma could be doing in the bathroom...
"YOU JACKASS! I'M SUPPOSED TO HELP YOU WITH THAT!" The bathroom door buckled in, before shattering under Ukyo's duress and rage, "Ran-chan, wouldn't you like me to do that for... you?"
The barely robed young woman stared blankly at the empty bathroom.
"Ukyo-sama, I heard the commotion and... uh, Ukyo?"
The young chef didn't really notice the male kunoichi looking the other way, abashed, "Konatsu hun, have you seen Ranma around here?"
"Ah... he said something about not disturbing your 'private time'." Konatsu didn't at the time, but now knew what Ranma had been talking about.
"My... private time'?" Ukyo repeated, incredulously.
"He didn't want to intrude, so he left," Konatsu clarified, not even turning around to his scantly-clad boss, as she stormed from the bathroom.
Ukyo growled, as she slammed the door, and picked up the remote control to the DVD player, turning it off. "That Jackass..."
__________________________
__________________________
"Therefore, the clever combatant imposes his will on the enemy, but doesn't allow the enemie's will to be imposed on him."
__________________________
__________________________
Ranma continued his trek away from Ucchan's, still somewhat puzzled by his best friend's actions. The Tendou sisters usually did that sort of thing during the night.
The pigtailed boy shrugged to himself, figuring whenever the itch hits girls, they just have to scratch it. Made enough sense to him, in that analogy.
"Still, I think she woulda felt a bit ackward, with me being in the same room with her and all," Ranma mused, after dismissing the thought entirely.
Unnoticed, Shampoo leapt from rooftop to rooftop, awaiting her opportunity. She was rather dismayed to find that Ranma hadn't been home during her intended time to strike, when everyone would have come running to find out all the commotion. Of course, when they got there, it would be well too late, for she would have one the bet, and have her husband in one fail swoop.
For this attempt, she had left her Great-grandmother out of the loop; the matriarch ment well, but Shampoo suspected she only offered assistance when it would provide her with amusement, meaning she most assuradly didn't take Shampoo's desperate crusade to win over Ranma seriously. As a warrior born, she decided that trickery and deceit were no longer options; Ranma had proven too wiley and events around him were always too predictable, whenever she attempted to use some sort of 'suggestive' potion or food for them to be practical. And anytime she tried to arouse him, it was like trying to wake the dead in the same manner.
"Actually, Shampoo find wake dead too, too much easier," Shampoo growled, out loud.
Her slip didn't go unnoticed by her prey, as he suddenly looked up, "Huh? Who's there?"
Almost yelping, Shampoo ducked back from the side of the roof, out of Ranma's sight. She was about to flee to hiding again, when she stopped herself...
Ranma landed on the roof where he swore he heard someone's voice. "Huh? Funny, musta been my imagination..."
His imagination bum blindsided him, and pinned him to the roof.
Ranma quickly moved to break the pin he was in, before he noticed who it was, "Shampoo? What's this all a-"
With her free hand, Shampoo tore his shirt from him viciously, then adjusted her hips, and positioned her hand to do the same with his pants.
"Ranma shut up and take like proper husband," Shampoo growled menacingly, while covering his mouth with her free hand to keep him from screaming.
Ranma didn't scream, instead choosing to stare back at Shampoo with a hooded gaze...
__________________________
"Shampoo not done with Ranma yet," thought the lavender cat that was currently tangled up in someone's apartment balcony clothesline, approximately two miles away from her confrontation with Ranma.
__________________________
__________________________
"Hence to fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme exellence, supreme excellence consists of breaking your enemy's resistance without fighting.
__________________________
__________________________
"Man, that was my fave red shirt, too," Ranma growled, looking down at the remnants of his once proud silk Chinese collar shirt. He idly adjusted his undershirt, while laying the destroyed clothing over his shoulder, "What in the heck posessed Shampoo to try something as stupid as that?"
In retrospect, he had to admire the Amazon's straightforward approach at getting things done, but maybe she needed to have a bit of her own 'private time', instead of tackling innocent guys minding their own business. Heck, he was pretty sure Mousse would be accomodating.
"Guess it's just that time of the month, or something," Ranma decided.
"Ooooooh Raaaaaaannnnnnmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaa darling..."
"Great, just great," Ranma sighed, before turning around, to find one of his three least favorite Kunos (not that he knew any others) standing behind him in her usual black rose patterned leotard.
For once, she was not twirling her ribbong, or laughing like a hysterical maniac hyena doped up on nitrogen oxide. She stared at him with a hungry, intentful look that set him on edge more than her usual mannerisms, and froze him to the spot. The longer she stared at him, the more he was beginning to miss her inane laugh.
"I think it's high time out lovely game of 'hard to get' has ajourned, wouldn't you agree, Ranma... darling?" The gymnast sensually strode up to Ranma, and practically melted her body against his.
"Uh, Kodachi, could you, you know... get off?" Ranma asked, politely, before sniffing the air, and wrinkling his nose.
"Only if you would be so kind as to assist, my dear," Kodachi replied, smiling to herself, as Ranma began to smell the air.
"Geez! You been rolling around in a women's bathroom or someth'n?" Ranma asked bluntly, quickly pulling Kodachi from him, "You smell like rotten perfume!"
"Oh, my dear Ranma-sama, how you do so jest!" Kodachi said with a chuckle, "I'm sure you will begin to enjoy it, assoonastheaffectsbeginto... arise..."
"Affects? Of what?" Ranma asked, warily, while snorting out heavily to keep his nostrils from inhaling any more of the obnoxious stench.
"Why, my lovely perfume, of course!" Kodachi replied, with a hint of pride, "It's of my own concoction. Various flora known for their aphroditional properties, conbined with my own personal pheromones, enhanced for your indulgence. I liberally applied it to my person for your benefit."
Liberally translating to; every inch of her body was reaking with it.
At Ranma's apparent growing discomfort, Kodachi smirked in triumph, "I see you're beginning to understand it's proprieties... Would you care for some relief."
"GET... OFFA ME!" Ranma screeched, feeling his eyes begin to water from the stench of Kodachi's 'perfume'.
"Come now, Ranma-sama, lest you suffer eternally, the Black Rose shall ease your growing duress!" With that, Kodachi all but superglued herself to the pigtailed boy, and ground herself against him.
Kodachi noticed the lack of... excitement from her intended future groom, looked down between them, and then looked back at Ranma's expression in sheer bewilderment.
"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!" Ranma screamed out, beginning to run, while trying to peel Kodachi from his person. Ranma's face was beginning to turn blue, as he finally found the canal, leapt over the fence, and plunged both him and Kodachi into it.
Two girls surfaced; a gymnast and a redhead.
"You... redheaded harridan! What had you done with my darling Ranma!"
"E nt dat way, nus it away um me!" Ranma-chan almost shouted, while holding her nose and pointing.
"We shall have words, once my dear has been properly subdued," Kodachi threatened, before leaping from the water, "RANMA DARLING! WAIT FOR YOUR DEAREST KOOOOODACHIIIIIIII!!"
With immense relief, Ranma crawled out of the canal, and wrankled her nose at the lingering residue of Kodachi's perfume.
"Man, I need a bath to get this crap offa me! What she do? Wrestle a skunk in cherry scented baby-oil, or something?" Ranma checked her pockets, and found more than enough money for a trip to a local bathhouse. "If I go back to the Tendou's smelling like this, I know there's gonna be Hell to pay." With that, Ranma started at a brisk pace to the nearest bathhouse she knew of.
Overhead, a myopic duck saw, and realized his opportunity.
part 2
Ukyo tapped her foot against the floor before her bed, huffing and harking over how long Ranma was taking in the bathroom. She had paused the DVD so that the pigtailed boy wouldn't miss a minute of it, and it had been several minutes since his absence.
"Just what is Ranchan doing in there?"
The young chef decided that as long as he was using the facilities, she may as well get herself prepared for her 'best friend'. A quick strip and nothing but a tiny, barely covering terrycloth robe later, Ukyo smiled cheerfully to herself, before sitting back on her bed. Her smile faded, as she looked back at the clock in her room; fifteen minutes since Ranma's been in the bathroom.
"Really, he better not be clogging my toile-" Ukyo's verbal though stopped on her lips, as she realized something else Ranma could be doing in the bathroom...
"YOU JACKASS! I'M SUPPOSED TO HELP YOU WITH THAT!" The bathroom door buckled in, before shattering under Ukyo's duress and rage, "Ran-chan, wouldn't you like me to do that for... you?"
The barely robed young woman stared blankly at the empty bathroom.
"Ukyo-sama, I heard the commotion and... uh, Ukyo?"
The young chef didn't really notice the male kunoichi looking the other way, abashed, "Konatsu hun, have you seen Ranma around here?"
"Ah... he said something about not disturbing your 'private time'." Konatsu didn't at the time, but now knew what Ranma had been talking about.
"My... private time'?" Ukyo repeated, incredulously.
"He didn't want to intrude, so he left," Konatsu clarified, not even turning around to his scantly-clad boss, as she stormed from the bathroom.
Ukyo growled, as she slammed the door, and picked up the remote control to the DVD player, turning it off. "That Jackass..."
__________________________
__________________________
"Therefore, the clever combatant imposes his will on the enemy, but doesn't allow the enemie's will to be imposed on him."
__________________________
__________________________
Ranma continued his trek away from Ucchan's, still somewhat puzzled by his best friend's actions. The Tendou sisters usually did that sort of thing during the night.
The pigtailed boy shrugged to himself, figuring whenever the itch hits girls, they just have to scratch it. Made enough sense to him, in that analogy.
"Still, I think she woulda felt a bit ackward, with me being in the same room with her and all," Ranma mused, after dismissing the thought entirely.
Unnoticed, Shampoo leapt from rooftop to rooftop, awaiting her opportunity. She was rather dismayed to find that Ranma hadn't been home during her intended time to strike, when everyone would have come running to find out all the commotion. Of course, when they got there, it would be well too late, for she would have one the bet, and have her husband in one fail swoop.
For this attempt, she had left her Great-grandmother out of the loop; the matriarch ment well, but Shampoo suspected she only offered assistance when it would provide her with amusement, meaning she most assuradly didn't take Shampoo's desperate crusade to win over Ranma seriously. As a warrior born, she decided that trickery and deceit were no longer options; Ranma had proven too wiley and events around him were always too predictable, whenever she attempted to use some sort of 'suggestive' potion or food for them to be practical. And anytime she tried to arouse him, it was like trying to wake the dead in the same manner.
"Actually, Shampoo find wake dead too, too much easier," Shampoo growled, out loud.
Her slip didn't go unnoticed by her prey, as he suddenly looked up, "Huh? Who's there?"
Almost yelping, Shampoo ducked back from the side of the roof, out of Ranma's sight. She was about to flee to hiding again, when she stopped herself...
Ranma landed on the roof where he swore he heard someone's voice. "Huh? Funny, musta been my imagination..."
His imagination bum blindsided him, and pinned him to the roof.
Ranma quickly moved to break the pin he was in, before he noticed who it was, "Shampoo? What's this all a-"
With her free hand, Shampoo tore his shirt from him viciously, then adjusted her hips, and positioned her hand to do the same with his pants.
"Ranma shut up and take like proper husband," Shampoo growled menacingly, while covering his mouth with her free hand to keep him from screaming.
Ranma didn't scream, instead choosing to stare back at Shampoo with a hooded gaze...
__________________________
"Shampoo not done with Ranma yet," thought the lavender cat that was currently tangled up in someone's apartment balcony clothesline, approximately two miles away from her confrontation with Ranma.
__________________________
__________________________
"Hence to fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme exellence, supreme excellence consists of breaking your enemy's resistance without fighting.
__________________________
__________________________
"Man, that was my fave red shirt, too," Ranma growled, looking down at the remnants of his once proud silk Chinese collar shirt. He idly adjusted his undershirt, while laying the destroyed clothing over his shoulder, "What in the heck posessed Shampoo to try something as stupid as that?"
In retrospect, he had to admire the Amazon's straightforward approach at getting things done, but maybe she needed to have a bit of her own 'private time', instead of tackling innocent guys minding their own business. Heck, he was pretty sure Mousse would be accomodating.
"Guess it's just that time of the month, or something," Ranma decided.
"Ooooooh Raaaaaaannnnnnmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaa darling..."
"Great, just great," Ranma sighed, before turning around, to find one of his three least favorite Kunos (not that he knew any others) standing behind him in her usual black rose patterned leotard.
For once, she was not twirling her ribbong, or laughing like a hysterical maniac hyena doped up on nitrogen oxide. She stared at him with a hungry, intentful look that set him on edge more than her usual mannerisms, and froze him to the spot. The longer she stared at him, the more he was beginning to miss her inane laugh.
"I think it's high time out lovely game of 'hard to get' has ajourned, wouldn't you agree, Ranma... darling?" The gymnast sensually strode up to Ranma, and practically melted her body against his.
"Uh, Kodachi, could you, you know... get off?" Ranma asked, politely, before sniffing the air, and wrinkling his nose.
"Only if you would be so kind as to assist, my dear," Kodachi replied, smiling to herself, as Ranma began to smell the air.
"Geez! You been rolling around in a women's bathroom or someth'n?" Ranma asked bluntly, quickly pulling Kodachi from him, "You smell like rotten perfume!"
"Oh, my dear Ranma-sama, how you do so jest!" Kodachi said with a chuckle, "I'm sure you will begin to enjoy it, assoonastheaffectsbeginto... arise..."
"Affects? Of what?" Ranma asked, warily, while snorting out heavily to keep his nostrils from inhaling any more of the obnoxious stench.
"Why, my lovely perfume, of course!" Kodachi replied, with a hint of pride, "It's of my own concoction. Various flora known for their aphroditional properties, conbined with my own personal pheromones, enhanced for your indulgence. I liberally applied it to my person for your benefit."
Liberally translating to; every inch of her body was reaking with it.
At Ranma's apparent growing discomfort, Kodachi smirked in triumph, "I see you're beginning to understand it's proprieties... Would you care for some relief."
"GET... OFFA ME!" Ranma screeched, feeling his eyes begin to water from the stench of Kodachi's 'perfume'.
"Come now, Ranma-sama, lest you suffer eternally, the Black Rose shall ease your growing duress!" With that, Kodachi all but superglued herself to the pigtailed boy, and ground herself against him.
Kodachi noticed the lack of... excitement from her intended future groom, looked down between them, and then looked back at Ranma's expression in sheer bewilderment.
"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!" Ranma screamed out, beginning to run, while trying to peel Kodachi from his person. Ranma's face was beginning to turn blue, as he finally found the canal, leapt over the fence, and plunged both him and Kodachi into it.
Two girls surfaced; a gymnast and a redhead.
"You... redheaded harridan! What had you done with my darling Ranma!"
"E nt dat way, nus it away um me!" Ranma-chan almost shouted, while holding her nose and pointing.
"We shall have words, once my dear has been properly subdued," Kodachi threatened, before leaping from the water, "RANMA DARLING! WAIT FOR YOUR DEAREST KOOOOODACHIIIIIIII!!"
With immense relief, Ranma crawled out of the canal, and wrankled her nose at the lingering residue of Kodachi's perfume.
"Man, I need a bath to get this crap offa me! What she do? Wrestle a skunk in cherry scented baby-oil, or something?" Ranma checked her pockets, and found more than enough money for a trip to a local bathhouse. "If I go back to the Tendou's smelling like this, I know there's gonna be Hell to pay." With that, Ranma started at a brisk pace to the nearest bathhouse she knew of.
Overhead, a myopic duck saw, and realized his opportunity.