Ramona and Leah are waiting for me as I'm escorted backstage. Nearby, Venetia breaks from a group of eclectic-looking Capitol escorts to join them.
"Great job, Rochelle," Leah says, putting a hand on my shoulder as crew members hustle around us. "I'm sure that wasn't easy."
"What the hell what that?" I fume. "It was like they didn't even know who they were talking to."
"Well, they wanted August to win," Ramona says with a shrug. "But they'll have to deal with it, won't they?"
"It just pisses me off," I grumble. "I worked so hard for weeks to make sure that my position in that Arena was perfect, and it seems like nobody even cares. I wasn't rich or arrogant like the Careers, so nobody gave a shit. That whole interview was August, August, August, but if he was really the best, wouldn't he be here right now?"
"Trust me, we know," Leah says reassuringly. "It might not seem like anyone's noticed, but the other mentors have been watching you closely, I promise. The way you won the Games was very subtle, and we all know from experience that that's just as good a way to win as any."
"And us escorts all thought you were amazing," Venetia adds, but I can tell that she's lying. August was the clear favorite, and we all know that, but I appreciate Venetia's attempt to make me feel better.
"District Eight's always overlooked," Ramona says. "You'll have to get used to it. We're not flashy like the Careers, and we almost never do well in the Games. The cameras almost never focused on you during the Games, because nobody expected you to go far enough to be important. It was the same with Rafael, too. You probably remember that."
I do remember watching the Games that year from inside the factory - the broadcasters didn't even mention Rafael until halfway through the Games. "Well, I was with the Careers most of the time, so I don't know how they managed that," I sigh.
Leah glances around us before leaning towards me. "Well, they tried to show as little of you as possible," she says, lowering her voice. "I mean, most of your most personable moments had to be cut from the live broadcasts. When you drew that snake emblem in the sand and talked to August about the orphanages in Eight, that didn't paint the Capitol or District Eight in a very good light. Once all of that was cut, we didn't get to see you talk about Eight much, so the Capitol didn't get to see you as a person with a backstory. All of the others - even Garrick, Calder, Hazel, and the others - showed vulnerability in there, but it didn't seem like you had anything worth saying about yourself because most of you said was cut."
Now everything makes sense. All of the times I bared my soul - all the times I showed my true self - the audience never got to see. All they saw me as was August's partner, the weak orphan from District Eight who didn't have much to say or do. Everything that was shown of me in the Arena was in relation to the others - I was August's partner, Mandy's friend, Princess' rival. Never my own person.
To be fair, it would be easy to say that I was carried by the others, because I was. I couldn't have survived in the Arena on my own, but that was why I manipulated my position to ensure that I had people nearby who could help me stay alive. I didn't get carried through the Games by August because I was useless. I was carried through by him because he thought that he could use me for a purpose by keeping me around.
Nobody got to see that, though. To the Capitol, I'm just a hopeless orphan who was in the right place at the right time. To them, I only did one thing to win the Games, and it was to let August drag me to the end so that I could stab him at the end. To be fair, that's exactly what happened, but there's so much more to the story than that.
"Come on," Ramona says, tugging on my arm. "Let's get you back to the stylists. You're going to be crowned next."
I groan at the thought of seeing Marzia again, but I let Ramona and Venetia lead me away from the stage. As I follow the two women, I shake away my resentment from the interview - it's in the past now. Venia and Valentina were just doing their jobs, and I know that - the Capitol wanted to know if I had a crush on August, and so Venia and Valentina asked me. The Capitol wanted to know if I hated Princess, because that's all they knew about me, and so I was asked.
I shouldn't care about what these people think about me. I do right now, but I know that I shouldn't. Eventually, I know that the pain I feel will fade. In the long run, it doesn't matter if the Capitol heard everything I said to August. It doesn't matter if they don't think I deserved to win, because I did. The one and only thing that matters is that I survived. I'm still standing, and the others are gone now. In a few months' time, the Capitol will have moved on, and everyone will be looking forward to next year's spectacle. I'll be a figure of the past, an unfortunate Victor of an otherwise impressive Games. Such a disappointment compared to Decimus the year before her.
Will I ever outlive this reputation that the Gamemakers have painted onto me? I hope that eventually, I'll get the recognition I deserve. For now, though, I need to be satisfied with my own recognition. I don't need anyone else; right now, I have myself, and that's all I could ask for. I'd rather be in my position than August's, that's for sure.
A/N - A little bit of a filler chapter, but hope y'all enjoyed it nevertheless :) big chapters coming soon!