A/N: Sorry this took so long. My muse left and plus it's also been kind of hard to write this because you have to be in a semi-depressing mood to write sad stuff. Thanks for all of your amazing reviews, you guys are amazing! I hope that I can keep you coming back for more. If you have any ideas as to where the story should go…let me know! PS: Read the Disclaimer
Disclaimer: In honor of Kirby Puckett's death, I'm using a quote that he used after he woke up blind one morning. "Tomorrow is not promised to any of us." This story is for him, and for every person who brought us life's most simple joy, a beautiful smile in a world that is getting colder and colder every day. But especially for Patrick, my best friend and uncle, whose smile was just as radiant as Puck's and missed even more each day. Your disclaimer is to enjoy every second of your life, because it ends…in a heartbeat.
That night, Tristan crawled into his old bed. He felt 17 again, and he hated that feeling. He felt cold and alone and lost. It was fitting that he was in this house again. He hadn't been back here since Christmas two years ago. Rory walked into the room and lay down next to him.
"What can I do?" She asked him with sorrowful eyes.
"I don't know." He said honestly.
"Come here," She whispered as she pulled him in tighter. "It's going to get easier. I wish I could say that it will be ok again, but you'll always miss him. You got to say goodbye Tristan, and that is more than most people get." She stroked his hair above his ear as he listened to her beating heart.
"You should go to sleep Mar, you have to be exhausted." He said moving. He kissed her on the cheek. "I'm just going to need some time." He reassured her. She looked up at him with big blue eyes that were full of tears threatening to fall.
"I never want to leave you without saying I love you." She said. Tristan squeezed his eyes shut. "Don't ever let me walk out the door without saying it." He pulled her close.
"I won't." He said comforting her. "I won't." Once he heard her breathing become steady, he knew she had fallen asleep, but he kept holding her. Her thoughts haunted his. He hadn't even thought about it. If he ever lost her, he wouldn't know what to do with himself. She was the only thing keeping him together. He held her extra tight as he finally gave into to sleep.
OOOOO
Tristan and Rory stayed the next couple of days in Hartford. It was the morning of the funeral and Rory had just finished getting ready. Tristan was finishing his tie. He looked horrible, but he refused to show his pain. In fact, she hadn't seen a single emotion good or bad from him since that night at the hospital. He hadn't been sleeping at all. She was worried sick about him, but she knew that everyone grieved in different ways. He started his internship in two days. The only thing she could do was to stand beside him and help him through this. Janlan's ring was on a chain around Tristan's neck and he never took it off. She knew how much it meant to him.
"Ready to go?" She leaned against the doorframe of the bathroom. She was wearing a black dress that still managed to make her look beautiful.
"Yeah." He said as he looked in the mirror one more time. "Just let me get my jacket." His tone was icy, but she knew it was in no way directed towards her. This was the side of him that she had never seen; the Academy side, she had dubbed it. Emotion equaled weakness. It was hard enough for him to be dealing with his father and everyone he had been running from, but to do it when he was at his most vulnerable was too much for him. She knew that he was on the breaking point. The car ride was silent as Tristan maneuvered through the streets of Hartford. Rory's concerned glances didn't go unnoticed by him. He was so grateful to have her. He knew that he could trust her, but he didn't know how to tell her. "Hey Mar?" He said without taking his eyes off the road.
"Yeah?" She immediately answered, happy he was talking at all.
"I know I've been kind of an ass lately, and I'm sorry."
"Tristan, it's nothing to be sorry about. You are grieving for your closest family member. It's ok." He raised an eyebrow at her.
"Really?" She smiled as she recalled the words that were about to come out of her mouth.
"Well no, but you're sad." He let his first grin slip through his icy countenance since Janlan's death. "Of course it's ok. I can't imagine what you are going through right now."
"Still, you've been great throughout this whole thing. I don't know what I would have done without you."
"You would do the same thing for me." She said as they pulled up to the church. "Remember, I love you, no matter what." She added, putting her hand on his knee. He set his hand on top of hers, covering it.
"I've got more." He said not knowing how to break the news to her. He put the car in park and looked into her eyes.
"What is it?" She asked nervously.
"When Gramps died, he left a will." She nodded for him to continue. "He left the house and the business to my father, as was expected. But he left me something too." He reached into his pocket and pulled something out. He handed it to her. Rory opened it, shocked.
"Oh Tristan." It was an envelope with a check inside of it. She was pretty sure that Janlan had left Tristan almost all of his fortune.
"I want to give a lot of it to someone else, maybe some charities or something. Keep enough to pay for college and a house, maybe a car, but the rest is going. I don't want it Rory, not for what it cost me."
"Tristan, your grandfather wanted to make sure you were ok. He wanted me to take care of you. I plan on keeping my promise. He wanted you to have this money. Don't keep all of it by any means, but don't just give it all away on a whim ok? Think about it for awhile?" He nodded his head and put the envelope back into his jacket pocket.
"Come on, let's get this over with." He motioned to the door of the church with his head.
Rory walked into the church and found her mother. Tristan would be walking in with his family. She wanted to be there for him, to help him through this.
"Hey kid." Lorelei said with a sad smile.
"Hi." Rory sat down next to her.
"How's he doing?" Rory looked down at her hands.
"He's not good. He's been a mess, I'm really worried about him." She looked up at her mother again before whispering, "Janlan left him, a lot, in the will. He won't even look at the envelope. It's forcing him to accept the fact that he's really gone, you know?" Lorelei nodded.
"He'll get through this, he has us and more importantly you." Lorelei could only imagine what it was like losing the one person in Hartford you liked. It's the last reason to keep coming back. She watched as Rory turned her head to the aisle as Tristan walked by. She was going to keep him sane. He looks so sad. Tristan had quickly become like a son to her, and she knew that they had a connection on a deeper level than most people understood. They had lived the same first 16 years and that had brought them together. The reverend's voice broke through her thoughts and she turned her attention to the front of the church.
OOOOOO
Rory shut the door to the apartment and took off her coat. It was good to be back. Even though they hadn't spent a single night there, it still felt like home. She walked up behind Tristan and wrapped her arms around him. His chest expanded as he sighed.
"It feels good to be home." He turned around to face her.
"Yeah. It is." She smiled and hugged him tighter. "Do I look as exhausted as I feel?"
"No. You look beautiful, like you always do." He said as he kissed her. "Come on, let's go to bed." He started down the hallway, but he stopped and turned around.
"What is it?" She asked curiously.
"I think that's the first time I've said that and not meant anything sexual behind it…Ever." She giggled and grabbed his hand.
"I think you're right. But I won't tell if you don't." She winked and he nodded his head.
"Deal." She walked past him and he followed behind. "Unless you want to make it dirty?" He said scanning her legs and all the way up her back. She froze, wiggled a little bit and turned around.
"Are you flirting with me?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I'm just throwing it out there. It would be a nice way to take my mind off of other things, and I could relax a little, maybe even get some sleep." She stood in the doorway and pretended to think about it.
"What better way to break the place in?" He walked towards her and shrugged. "And this is all your idea?" She asked with an innocent face as she twisted her fingers together.
"Well I hope it's your idea too." He looked at her confused. All of a sudden he realized what she was insinuating. "You sneaky little…You wanted me to lose the bet!" She couldn't contain her guilty smile. "After everything I've been through, you were waiting for me to let my guard down!"
"Hey now! You were the one who suggested it. I was just going to bed." He pinned her up against the wall and kissed her. "Maybe we could let it slide, just for tonight." She added quickly. He leaned in and smiled against her lips.
"Maybe." He whispered and kissed her again. This time it was slow and passionate. His tongue caressed hers and a moan escaped the back of her throat. She couldn't breathe. His hands came up and laced through her hair and she tilted her head back. Rory took his already loosened tie off and threw it on the floor. Then she unbuttoned his shirt and he shrugged it off. They were full fledged making out now.
"Tristan." She opened her eyes. His were still closed. She watched as they slowly opened, they were cloudy with desire.
"Hmm?" He stated absent-mindedly, still focusing on the kiss.
"Are we going to do this in the hallway?" She asked still pressed against the wall.
"I can take a hint." He grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder. She screamed and started laughing.
"Tristan!" She giggled as she fell on the bed.
"Mary!" He said in a high pitched voice, mocking her expression. All of a sudden, he got really close to her face. His eyes were full of laughter but she was still taken aback by the action.
"What?" She was trying to read his face, but she was confused.
"Have I told you how much I love you?" Rory smiled at the words.
"Not recently." He kissed her forehead.
"Well I do." Rory looked up into his eyes and saw the sadness starting to slowly creep back.
"What a coincidence," she reached up and looped a finger around the necklace that was dangling from his neck and pulled him closer to her. "Because I love you too." She whispered against his lips. As she kissed him, he forgot his pain, and he felt like he could face tomorrow.