AN: Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't own Teen Titans, and neither do you!
Chapter 5
The aching in her chest was nearly unbearable, but she put up with it. She was good at covering what she was feeling, whether it was emotionally or physically. She could only take in short, quick breaths when the pain came and only when it began to fade was she able to breathe normally again. She wanted to stop, to take a rest and admit that she was weak, her heart was damaged. But she couldn't. She had to prove that she was still Raven. She was strong and nothing could ever keep her down.
It was week ten in her training and if she completed the following test she would be allowed to go out and fight again. That's all she wanted, to know that her friends trusted her enough to let her risk her life again. She would put up with the pain until she got that. Besides, it only hurt when her heart accelerated.
"Okay, Raven, this is it," said Robin from the control center. He, along with the other three Titans, were watching her. "Are you ready?"
"Yes," said Raven confidently.
"Alright, here we go," he said and started it up.
They all watched as she dashed and swerved as various items came lying at her. She grabbed all of those items with her powers and flung them into the machines that were shooting at her. As she fought off multiple laser shooting guns she kept herself calm and centered. She had done bits and pieces of this last test numerous times, so she basically knew what to expect. She also knew they were watching and now perfection was absolutely necessary.
She was so close to being finished and her heart was doing well; nothing too intense. She was sure the end was near her victory was in sight. She continued on and on, taking on everything that came her way. She wasn't sure how much longer it was going to last, but it didn't matter. She could handle this.
But it was the ending siren that took her by complete surprise. It meant that Robin had pushed the emergency stop button. The room flashed red and the loud siren rang through the room so loud that Raven let out a scream. It stopped and the machines retracted and hid back in their places. The test was over.
Raven slowly landed on the ground, clutching her heart. Her chest felt tight and she could barely breathe. But she had to suck it up, she knew they were coming. But the pain was so intense, so very intense. She had never experienced anything like it.
The doors to the training room slid open and her four teammates came in, all smiling. She quickly straightened up and let go of her chest.
"Raven, you did most wonderful!" said Starfire, clapping.
"You kicked the trainin room's ass!" laughed Cyborg.
"Great job," said Robin. "I think you're ready to go back on the battle field."
"Good," said Raven. She wanted to say more, to appear that nothing was wrong, but it took all of her power to say that simple word.
"I knew you could do it," said Beast Boy smiling widely.
"Thanks," she said. "I… I need to go to my room. I have to meditate." And before they could object she melted through the floor and teleported to her room.
She appeared in her room and fell to the floor. She held her chest and took in those painful, short breaths. Tears welled up in her eyes and she gritted her teeth. She cursed that damn siren. She cursed it to bloody hell! Everything had been going just as she planned. Now she couldn't breath and her heart was in agony. She considered calling for help, but it wouldn't have mattered. She wouldn't have been able to yell if she wanted to.
She felt the tears fall from her eyes to her floor and she concentrated on them, trying to get her mind off of the pain. Finally it began to fade and she was able to start breathing again. The grip on her chest loosened and she placed her hand on the floor, trying to keep herself up.
A round of knocks painted her doors and echoed into her room. This did startle her for a second and her heart gave one last jump of pain, then faded away. She sighed and said, "Yes?"
"Raven? Are you okay?" asked Beast Boy from the other side of the door.
"I'm fine," she lied. "Why?"
"Well, you kinda left the training room abruptly," said Beast Boy. "And you looked a little… flustered."
"I'm just a little tired from the test," said Raven, crawling to her feet. She took a few big breaths in and opened her door to show Beast Boy that she was fine. "Just don't tell Robin or he'll think twice about letting me fight again."
"Yeah, I know," said Beast Boy. "We're just concerned about your health, that's all. But I won't tell him, I know how much you want to be back in the action."
Raven gave him a small smile and leaned against her doorframe, her legs still feeling weak. "Thank you," she said. "Well, I need to do some meditation. I'll see you later, okay?"
"Uh, yeah," said Beast Boy, smiling.
Raven gave him one last soft grin and slid her door shut. As soon as she did she felt her knees go out on her again and she fell to them. She leaned up against her door and closed her eyes. She placed her hand on her chest and felt her scars through the thin material of her leotard. She knew that if she pushed herself any harder her heart would go out on her, and then where would she be? She sighed and weakly made her way to her bed to meditate.
Beast Boy stood there for a moment, basking in the fact that he had gotten a few soft smiles out of Raven. But, as glad he was for that, he could feel that something was wrong. She could tell him she was fine all she wanted, but his primal instincts always told him the truth. He could sense the feelings and pains of others, much like Raven. Usually he could just ignore this sixth sense, but when it came to Raven he got a much stronger reading. He wasn't sure why that was.
He decided to go find his friends and tell them that Raven was alright, even though he knew he was probably telling a lie. He found them all back in the common room.
"Is she alright?" asked Cyborg.
"Yeah, she said she's just tired from the test," said Beast Boy.
"She did very well," said Robin. "I'm really surprised."
"Yes, perhaps we should have a party of celebration!" said Starfire excitedly. "To honor the return of Raven to the fighting of villains."
"Sounds like a good idea to me," said Robin with a smile.
"Yeah, I'll bake a cake!" said Cyborg excitedly and he ran to the kitchen.
"And I shall prepare some glork supreme!" said Starfire following Cyborg into the kitchen.
Now that Robin and Beast Boy alone, he figured they could talk. "Beast Boy, got a minute?" asked Robin.
"Uh, yeah," said Beast Boy. The two went over to the couch and sat down. "What's up?"
"Are you sure Raven's alright?" asked Robin.
"Why?" asked Beast Boy.
"Because Cyborg said that when I pushed the emergency stop button her heart accelerated dangerously," said Robin. "We didn't want to make a big deal about it since she appeared to be fine, but she seems to be able to cover what she's really feeling pretty well. So I'm just wondering if you saw anything peculiar."
"Uh… no," said Beast Boy, shaking his head.
"Are you sure?" asked Robin. "Because if you tell me I won't say anything to anyone else. I just need to know. I'm still going to put her back on duty, but if I know that she's still having some problems I can make sure we take most of the hard beating when we go out there."
"Well…" Beast Boy hesitated. "She said she was fine, but I could feel that maybe she wasn't. So I think it would be best if we did let her take it easy during the next few missions."
"Okay," said Robin, giving him a kind smile. "I'll tell Starfire and Cyborg that because Raven hasn't been fighting for a while we should take on as much as possible, so she doesn't have to. I won't say anything about her heart."
"Good," said Beast Boy, nodding. "I really don't want her to get hurt again. And… truthfully, if it were up to me, I wouldn't let her go back out there at all."
"What?" asked Robin. "But I thought you wanted everything to go back to the way it was."
"Well, I kinda do," said Beast Boy. "But lately, just every once in a while, I can feel that she's in some sort of pain. And I don't want her to be. It's so odd. I've been feeling really protective of her lately."
"Well, you love her," said Robin. "Which is still something you have to tell her. And when you love someone you want them to be safe."
"I know but it's kinda getting ridiculous," said Beast Boy. "It's to the point where every night I want to curl up outside of her door, just incase."
"Really?" asked Robin. "Well… that is kind of… extreme, but I'm sure once you see her in action you'll feel better. She can take care of herself."
"Yeah, I know," sighed Beast Boy. "It's just those damn animal instincts of mine. "I just have this natural urge to protect her."
"Well… that's not really a bad thing," said Robin. "I mean, as long as it doesn't get out of hand, I wouldn't be worried."
"Oh no, I'm not worried or anything," said Beast Boy. "It's just a new feeling, ya know? I just gotta get used to it."
"Okay," said Robin. "As long as you're sure. Well, I better help Star and Cyborg get ready for this party we're putting on." He gave Beast Boy a smile and headed over to the kitchen. Beast Boy decided to help out as well and quickly jumped up to see what their little party was going to need.
After meditating, Raven got to work writing thank you cards to all of the people who sent her get well cards and such. She opened a few and read them, but she found it was easier to read them then immediately write the thank you card so she wouldn't forget who she was writing to. She had nothing better to do and believed she owed it to them. She never thought she was a very popular hero, but it was quite clear that the public did like her and cared about her.
She heard a soft knock on her door and said, "Come in."
Her door slid open and Beast Boy was revealed. "Hey Raven," he said, walking in.
"Hello," she said simply.
"Whatcha up to?" he asked, going over to her.
"I'm writing back to all the people who sent me cards," sighed Raven.
"All of them?" he asked, shocked.
"Yes, of course," said Raven.
"Wow, you must have a lot of time on your hands," he chuckled. She stopped writing and gave him a look. "Oh yeah, right, you do."
"Is there a reason you're here?" asked Raven.
"Well, we're throwing you a small party that I thought you should know about," said Beast Boy.
"A party?" asked Raven. "Why?"
"Because you're back on duty!" said Beast Boy.
"That doesn't mean I need a party," said Raven.
"Don't worry, it won't be that big," said Beast Boy. "And we know how much you don't like surprise parties so that's why I'm telling you now. We're gonna have it in like a half an hour."
"And what exactly are we going to do at this party?" asked Raven as she continued to write.
"Just eat, watch a movie, Starfire mentioned something about a song of joy," said Beast Boy.
"You had me until the Starfire singing part," said Raven.
Beast Boy chuckled and said, "Yeah, I'll make sure to warn you so you can turn in for the night before she starts."
Raven smiled softly as she finished up another card and slid it into an addressed envelope. She licked the sticky part and then closed the envelope, placing it in her already done pile.
"3,374 down, only 1,849 to go," Raven sighed.
"I told you you had fans," said Beast Boy with a smirk.
"More like a bunch of people who feel sorry for me," said Raven.
"Rae, when are you gonna learn that the city loves you?" asked Beast Boy, crossing his arms.
"About the same time you learn that my name is two syllables," said Raven.
"Huh?" asked Beast Boy, confused.
"My name is Raven, not Rae, Beast Boy," said Raven as she began to work on the next card.
"Oh," said Beast Boy. "Well, I just like to call you Rae. Can't that be my nickname for you?"
"Do I call you by a nickname?" asked Raven bluntly.
"Well, technically, my name's not actually Beast Boy," he said. "So, in a way…"
"Beast Boy is your professional name," said Raven. "It's not a nickname. Your nick names are B or BB or grass stain."
"Wow, never knew you knew all of my nicknames," he said with a grin.
"It's kind of hard not to know them, what with Cyborg yelling them at you all of the time," said Raven.
"That's true," said Beast Boy. "Though, I don't particularly like being called grass stain."
"That's how I feel when you call me Rae," said Raven.
"Why?" asked Beast Boy. "Grass stain isn't really a nickname, it's name calling. Rae is a real nickname, because it's part of your name."
Raven suddenly felt like the room was spinning and she nearly fell from her chair. She caught herself and sighed. "Just please call me Raven, okay?" she said in an exasperated voice and got back to work on the card before he could see that something was wrong.
"Okay," Beast Boy sighed.
"Thank you," said Raven as she grabbed another card.
Beast Boy saw the card and his heart raced. "Yeah, well, the party starts in a half hour so come down to the common room or I'll come get you," he said quickly. "I'll see you later." And with that he quickly left her room.
"Uh… okay," said Raven, noticing his odd behavior. She opened the card up and pulled it out of the envelope. She took a short look at the front and then opened it up.
Raven,
Even though I'm sitting here next to you, I decided to give you a card. Everyone else in the city was, so I figured it'd be stupid of me, your friend, not to. I really hope you pull though and, most of all, I hope you'll be able to read this someday. You mean the world to me Raven and I don't know what I'll do if you can never read this. Anyway, I'd tell you to get well soon, but that's not what I want. Get well NOW!
Love Beast Boy
Raven couldn't believe Beast Boy had sent her a get well card. Not only that, he had written some interesting things. 'I mean the world to him?' she thought. 'What does that mean? And he wrapped it up with love Beast Boy? Is this why he left my room so abruptly? Is he trying to tell me something?'
She felt her heart race and with that came that sharp pain again. She groaned and closed her eyes, waiting for it to pass. She wasn't sure how much longer she'd be able to hide this horrible pain. She just hoped that as time went by her heart would strengthen.