Ok, I'm breaking my rule again, but only in the face of reveiws. I am requiring 10 (ya, 10 is a lot, but whatever) more reveiws before I update again. Mwahahaha. This is mainly because I got no reveiws, 0 reveiws, non la reveiws (I totally know french) last time and am rather bitter about it.

July 17th, around 8 am or so, the first day of my strange new life

I don't really want to think about it again, but I should write it down. The King of Nirdan killed them, my parents, and now I'm homeless and would be dead if I hadn't escaped the castle. I threw my dress into the moat, so they would think I drowned, but it may not work. I met Kady, the chef's daughter, in the Meadow, and she brought me to her aunt's house. So here I am, and I'm a completely different person all of a sudden. For one thing-

I have a name! A new name! I've always hated Ashkyla. You see, noble girls are named by taking the first syllable of their mother's mother, and the last two syllables of their father's mother, then combining them. It all started when someone had lots of children and got too lazy to name them all. So they started this system. It gets a whole lot more complicated after the second girl (just the order of mothers switched) so I guess they weren't too lazy to figure that all out.

But now everything about me is new. My new hair. It's short. I cut it. Well, not me, Winny did, but that's not the point. You know, I was shocked when Katy first suggested that I cut my hair, which surprised me again. I had never thought about cutting my hair before, because noble girls aren't supposed to until they are married or well into adulthood. And some still just keep their hair long, so I had always though I would just do that.

But the reason it surprised me the second time was because it's a princess requirement. Being surprised at the suggestion. I suppose I've spent so long pretending to care about those things whilst convincing myself that I don't has had a secret effect on me. I hate to think I've been lying to myself about myself. Well, I suppose being annoyed about it proves that I really have resisted my parent's traditions a little.

I realize now that I really haven't explained anything, just breezed through it. I'm too full of emotions right now. Happiness, confusion, suspense, sadness, and impatience all combine to make everything un real. It almost seems like I have to write it down before it goes away, or maybe to make room in my head for whatever is going to happen next. Anyway, Kady is a little older than I, and I've watched her around the castle for ages. She's sort of my real imaginary friend. In any scenario I would need to puzzle out in my head I use her as an example, I make up stories about her life, and always think of her as the person I would want to be. I've never imagined conversations with her, meeting her, or anything of the sort before. And now she's taken me in, or rather to her Aunt's house (that's Winny) and they buzzed around me for what must have been at least an hour making me look less princess-like, less regal.

I've always been pampered, I know that, but this was a strange new situation. I hated it, but at the same time it was freeing me. It is like being able to tear up a page of careful copying after it's done and been checked by my tutor, making a mess when no one is looking, leaping around, up and down and everywhere, and shouting at the end of a long day when there's no one else around. Not being a princess, not being regal is almost the reward I get when I'm alone after a day of princessing about. And that's almost what it was like to cut my hair, lower the status in my name, dirty my skin, eat just plain bread and mild cheese. It was awful, but wonderful.

But I haven't really mentioned who Kady and Winny are yet, only who they are to me. I have to stay on topic. Kady is tall, with short… well, I shouldn't be talking right now, should I… blond hair that is often pulled up in a really short pony tail, and she has greenish-brown eyes, tanned skin, and a few freckles. She is quick and bright, as I've learned today, and truly my first real friend. Well, my first friend besides Kari, who followed me this entire time, and is currently ignoring me. I don't know what I would do without her. Truly, I'm not being sarcastic about that. She's my support, and I could never bear to lose her. She's not just a cat to me.

I can never stay on one subject recently, can I? Ok, Winny, Kady's aunt is an interesting character. She has curly brown hair that looks perpetually tangled, and was wearing a dress that she most likely made herself, and you can tell that she isn't a seamstress, not by a long shot. Either that, or whoever she had sow the dress really didn't like her, and I couldn't ever see anyone buying a dress like that. It looks like a sack with some dirty flowers dyed on – I 'm being a princess again. Talking about clothes, and sounding judgmental about people. Actually, I really like Winny, and am very grateful to her, as she is letting me stay in her house. She has a very loving character, and a motherly spirit, with a strangely organized sense to everything around her but her. Now that sentence sounds like the sweet, annoyingly kind princess who manages to maintain an impressive lack of reality. Ugh. I really can't keep from sounding regal. Or maybe it's just when I'm writing. Most people would want to sound regal, and here I am complaining about it. This is the story of my life.

I feel like I've changed somehow since… everything. I mean, it's like a piece of my life has floated away, and even as I'm aching for its loss I'm filling it in again. Or, almost, like it's being filled in for me. I've felt almost light-headed all morning. Not in a tired, airless way, but a whooshing, almost-chaotic way. This is first time I've really had to relax today, and it's only been a few hours since I woke up but it seems like so much longer looking back. And that whooshing, that hurry, is beginning to recede. All of a sudden I'm really calm. If I hadn't woken up so recently I'd be tired. Actually, I am tired. I suppose that there is nothing for me to do right now except to wait for Kady. She went to the castle, to find out what was going on. I think I'll just lie down for a while.