I know I promised an omake for team MILF 2 or team Chaos, but this came to mind and I couldn't stop. People have really gone all in on Blake being the worst girl and especially the little spite war she's had with Jaune.
The funniest part is that it was unintentional on my part. Originally Jaune was supposed to have this snarky back and forth with Weiss instead of Blake, mostly for irony since she was his canonical crush early on. And then Blake had that moment of being delusional about her emotional control along with forcing Jaune to being her fake boyfriend. The audience ate it up and it spiraled from there.
So yeah, a short omake all about that of what would happen if these two kept escalating.
It all started off with a white lie...and it was all Jaune's fault.
Sure, maybe she shouldn't have sprung the whole 'he's my boyfriend' fib without any warning, but it was a tense situation! Her family was being all kind and warm and forgiving and she couldn't handle it. Where was the hate, the declarations that she wasn't their daughter because she ran off to join a terrorist group? It was to be expected. That's what anyone else would've done.
But no, not her parents. They didn't so much as hold a speck of anger, just relieved that their prodigal daughter had returned...and she couldn't handle it. She didn't deserve it, not until she gave them something to be happy about.
So she told them she was dating Jaune, the nice Human boy that was also her teammate. Her mom had been so ecstatic and dad quietly approved. They always hated Adam and she was too stubborn - too immature - to listen to their warnings. Jaune was safe, harmless even, and they liked that.
If only he wasn't so stubborn.
Alright, fine, she didn't give him much of a choice in the matter, but it was the least he could do! She was a bastion of sanity in the basket case that was their team. Much as she loved them (though she'd never admit that out loud), they could be handful. Weiss was overly emotional, Ruby too excited, and Yang always itched for a fight. And then there was her, the one sane person alongside him. She didn't lash out, didn't throw a fit when she didn't get her way. Having her around must've been a relief for someone in his position.
So of course the best way to pay her back was making her sound like some degenerate who demanded an open relationship. Bastard. Alright, fine, that Penny girl showing up and rattling on about how they had a date wasn't an ideal situation. And yes, maybe her dad would've broken his spine for 'cheating' on her, but he could've owned up to it! Aura would've healed that in a day or two.
Now they were here, meeting her parents again after he'd betrayed her trust.
"Jaune and I are engaged."
Jaune, mom, and dad spit out their drinks at that. Blake kept her face neutral as all three choked and projected an aura of calm. This was just for revenge, she thought. He'd went behind her back and utterly betrayed her by snitching to their team. Granted it did make them all closer, but it was the principle of the thing. If he was going to do stuff like that then she'd teach him that there would be consequences.
"Wh-What?" Dad asked, still sputtering.
"We're engaged," Blake said again, utterly shameless. After all, what did she have to be ashamed about? This was justified payback, "Jaune proposed last week. He did in front of our entire team."
"Wh-What?" Dad asked again.
"Oh, Blake!" Her mom squealed - actually squealed - and hugged her. Jaune continued to look bug eyed, "Oh, this is so exciting! But wait, I thought you two had an open relationship? How does that work?"
"We're exclusive to one another now," Blake said, lying as easily as she breathed, "The...open relationship was just nerves. I was...scared of commiting and I wanted to test if Jaune would remain loyal. He did." She smiled lovingly, all so warm and absolutely fake. This was the best case scenario. She got to pay Jaune back for his betrayal and exonerated herself from the slanderous lies he used to cover his own butt. Win-Win, and all the winnings went to her.
And then Jaune had to open his big mouth.
"She's pregnant."
It was Blake's turn to gasp. Dad looked like he was choking on something while mom squealed even louder and hugged her tight enough to choke. If she was actually pregnant then this would've been bad for the baby.
"H-How...?" Dad asked.
"Well, sir, we..." He coughed, "You don't wanna hear the finer details, but suffice to say that Blake got really randy one night and, well, how could I say no to my darling?" He smiled.
"But...protection...?" Dad sputtered.
"We didn't have any, but you know Blake; she wouldn't be denied." A chill ran down her spine. That...that son of a bitch! He was putting it all on her! Oh, she knew his plan! He was escalating the lie so she'd cave and tell them the truth.
Well, that wasn't happening.
"I think it might be twins," Blake added, utterly calm as she planned her vengeance. Jaune froze as he realized that she wouldn't be the one to blink first, "And to clarify, Jaune was the one who insisted he knew how to pull out. Apparently not." Dad looked like he was dying inside hearing about how his little girl was defiled. Mom looked like she was mentally planning their wedding and how best to spoil her new grandchildren.
Blake looked at Jaune, silently daring him to either up the ante or tell them the truth. In the end he didn't do either and just stayed silent for the rest of the lunch. The quiet lasted only until her parents left with promises to visit soon.
"Are you kidding me?!" Jaune shouted as soon as they were out of sight. Blake looked up at him coolly, "Why didn't you tell them the truth?!"
"Why didn't you?" she countered.
"Cause I'm not the one who started this!" Okay, point, but she wasn't gonna agree with that, "Oh Gods, they're expecting children."
"You started that one."
"Cause I didn't think you'd be stupid enough to escalate it!" Blake's eyes narrowed. He was so lucky she was such a sensible person or she would've taken offense at his unreasonable outburst, "Now what are we gonna do?!"
"Well, you can tell them the truth."
"Uh-uh, this is all your fault! You do it!"
"I'm not the one who goes behind their friend's back and snitches to their teammates!" She hissed.
"That's what this is about? Oh my Gods, Blake, you're the most vindictive person I've ever met!"
"It's not vindictive if it's reasonable." She crossed her arms and pursed her lips, refusing to give even a single inch, "The way out is easy, Jaune. Just tell them the truth about how you escalated things. The only other option is having a kid. Twins, actually."
"Are you even hearing yourself right now? You're seriously willing to get pregnant if it means not being the one to tell your parents the truth?"
"Yup."
"..You're crazy."
Blake smirked. She'd won, "Alright, then I expect you to tell them when-"
"There should be a hotel around here." Jaune said, causing the Faunus to freeze. Was he actually... "I mean it's still light out, but Qrow showed me a few places where the walls are soundproof. Should be good enough for what we need."
"H-Hold on, you're not actually-" Her face flushed a deep shade of red as the words truly set in. He was going to sleep with her. He was gonna do that just because he didn't want to own up to what he did. That...petty bastard!
"What's wrong, Blake? I'm willing to be a father. I had to help raise three little sisters, after all." He smirked, all smugness and teeth. Prick, "So I guess when we meet up with your parents again you'll have to jump on that grenade."
He turned around and laughed, so self-assured in his victory, and Blake growled. She was not going to let it end like this, "Where are you going?" She hugged his arm with both hands and looked up at him with a vicious grin, "I know a better place around here. They don't ask questions."
Jaune's eyes widened, "Are you actually-"
"What's wrong, Jaune? Don't tell me you're backing out now?" Oh yes, he was cracking. She knew he was a virgin, and while her past relationship couldn't even be remotely called healthy, it had given her experience. If it even got that far, which she doubted it would. She could see his confident facade cracking with every step they took and soon enough he would back down and admit defeat.
He'd cave and then she would win. Any second now...
...
...
...
Well...that happened.
Blake looked up at the ceiling, both hands gripping the blanket that covered her bare chest. Next to her Jaune did the same, a somewhat shellshocked look on his face. They'd done it. Done a lot of things, actually. It was...nice, as much as she'd never admit it out loud. Jaune was inexperienced but all too eager to please. Gentle. With Adam, even before he showed his true colors, he was selfish lover, unleashing the rage he barely kept hidden. Jaune, for all that he was a traitorous bastard, wanted to make sure she was happy and she repaid the gesture.
"So..." Jaune said slowly.
"So..." Blake repeated, still looking up at the ceiling.
"So does this mean you're the one who's gonna tell your parents." Something inside Blake snapped back into place. Damn it, she'd been so focused on having a good time- er, upping the ante that she'd forgotten all about their fight. Her grip on the blanket tightened and her knuckles turned white, "Cause I totally stepped up there and I don't think you can really-"
That was as far as he got before she flipped over to her side and straddled him, a frustrated grin on her face. He was going to play it that way, huh? "I promised them twins," she said slowly, letting the words sink in. He could back out now and suffer being pent up or he could have sex with her again.
...
Wait, how were both coices viable again?
"...Alright," Jaune said.
"Alright?"
"Alright."
Well...okay then.
They did get twins, a pair of blonde girls that shared her cat ears. They called them Jade and Raye and they were the most adorable little girls ever, even if half of them came from the traitor that was Jaune Arc.
In hindsight, getting pregnant in her first year at Beacon wasn't the smartest idea. Winter Schnee looked like she'd blown a gasket when she was told and her teammates were offended that they hadn't been let in on the plan. Ruby was pretty bummed for a while, of course, but then she ended up with that weird Penny girl. Odd, but not as surprising when they found out she was a robot with built in weapons. That explained everything.
They were also godsends when it came to babysitting. Weiss in particular was very eager and never even asked for anything in exchange aside from baby pictures, which were easy enough to get. Sure, those first few months with the constant crying and lack of sleep were nightmarish - especially when your dormroom had four demigods - but they managed to push through it. It was the greatest struggle of their lives and they'd succeeded.
...
Oh, and they stopped that Salem Grimm Queen woman, but honestly she barely even remembered that. Ruby did most of the heavy lifting with her weird eyes and both she and Jaune spent most of the trip wondering how team PRMN was doing babysitting their prides and joys. If they came back to Nora drip feeding them syrup she was gonna be very cross.
She and Jaune had settled into a sort of equilibrium. With the twins around they didn't really get a chance to up the ante and thoughts about telling the truth kinda fell by the wayside. Because while they were both parents now and were married in all but an official capacity, technically they were both still lying, no matter how many times Yang rolled her eyes and said that ship had sailed.
And then her mom said it.
"So when are you two going to get married?" she asked, bouncing both three year olds on her knees. She practically glowed whenever she visited, "I know that you both were busy with studies and Huntsmen duties, but you've both graduated now. Isn't it time to do an official ceremony?"
"Indeed." Dad bellowed, feeding Sora, their girl, her usual baby meal. Eh? Yeah, they got another kid. They kinda got really drunk after graduation and one thing led to another. It was his fault, for the record.
She and Jaune looked at one another. She was the last one who'd upped the ante so now would be the time for him to come clean and tell them everything. Instead he smiled and set his cup of hot chocolate down, "Actually, we were already thinking of doing it within the year." She blinked. They were? "Weiss was actually very eager to help us plan everything. I think it's cause she's trying to give some hints to Sun."
"Oh, a Valean! So different from the usual." Mom clapped her hands. Both Jade and Raye clapped with her, "Do you already have a venue? We could help pitch in if you need it."
"Actually, we have enough. Headmaster Ozpin was pretty grateful about the whole Salem thing," Blake said this time. Fine, if he wanted to escalate, then she'd escalate. This game of chicken would last until one of them blinked and it wasn't gonna be her, "Yang said she wanted to be the best man." Not the Maid of Honor, as she was very quick to tell them. Whatever, that would go to Ruby or Weiss. The latter was more likely. She looked like she was willing to fight for it.
And so, a few months later, she was walking down the aisle. Friends and family sat at the pews, all smiling or weeping tears of joy. In front of the altar was Jaune, the man who she would marry if he didn't blink first. How long could he keep this up, she wondered. Was he really so invested that he just couldn't admit she'd won? Honestly, this was petty even for him.
"Dearly beloved," Ozpin began. He was apparently an ordained minister and volunteered to marry them both. Weird. She listened as he said the usual stuff about marriage and vows and etc etc, stopping to pause only when he asked someone to speak now or forever hold their peace. No one did, of course, all of them so happy that the two of them were taking that next step in their non-existent relationship.
Blake stared at him through the white veil that covered her face. This was it. This was the moment that he'd finally crack, admit it was all a sham, and prove that she'd won.
...
Any second now.
...
It was coming.
...
...He wasn't gonna say anything, was he?
"Do you, Blake, take Jaune as your husband? In sickness and in health, through good times or bad, and even when the books you like are sold out?" Blake's eyes narrowed. Oh, he'd planned for this. Fine, if he wanted it that way.
"I do."
"And do you, Jaune, take Blake as your wife? In sickness and in health, through good times or bad, and even when the books she likes are sold out and she's throwing a fit?" Hey, that last bit was insulting to her!
"I do."
"Then you may now kiss the bride."
Jaune lifted up her veil. For a moment they just stood there, realizing that the lie had spiraled and now they were commited to it. And then they leaned forward and kissed each other cause screw it, she'd find a way to win this if it was the last thing she did.
Childbirth was a beautiful thing, or at least that's what her mom told her. Personally Blake thought it was absolutely painful, disorienting, and took way too long. That and for some reason Aura didn't help, which was a shame since it hurt more than being chomped in half by a Nevermore.
Going through it eight times didn't change things much.
"Push, Mrs. Arc, push!"
"I am pushing!" Blake howled, a storm outside raging as it always did whenever the occasion came. Married life to Jaune was a unique experience, especially with that damn fertility of his. Yang had once joked that he must've had Rabbit Faunus ancestry and at this point she was too tired to even be offended.
As always, it was his fault. His mom had joked about how they were trying to beat her and his dad's record for having the most children and of course he'd taken it seriously. They were already on their seventh child and Jaune had asked oh so kindly if she wanted more children. She couldn't let the challenge lie and agreed. If she backed down now she was going to lose.
Many hours later and she was holding her new baby boy - the only boy among her children - in her arms. Kage was his name and Jaune just looked on in utter pity, knowing that he'd have to grow up as the lone boy and the youngest sibling among eight sisters. Whatever fertility they had it also apparently meant their children would be predominantly female.
"He's beautiful," Jaune smiled. Fifteen years hadn't done much to change his looks apart from a beard he insisted on keeping, saying it made him look mature. She didn't complain. It made him stand out from Adam, may his charred corpse forever burn in the wind. Moron tried to attack them head on as soon as he heard she was pregnant. Yeah, what did he think was gonna happen, fighting four Maidens at once?
"Yeah..." Blake let out an exhausted breath, "Still not giving up?"
"Seriously, Blake?"
"Hey, you upped the ante this time, now it's my turn."
"What, a tenth kid?"
"Are you crazy? At this point my womb's stretched like a clown car." Well, that was an image, "I'll...I'll think of something." She couldn't let it end like this, not yet. She'd put over a decade of her life into this, she wasn't going to quit now.
Death was a funny thing. As a Huntress it was always hanging over her shoulder and she understood that even a routine mission could end up being her last. It was odd then that she was dying not from a mortal wound at the hands of some Grimm but rather at her bed next to Jaune.
The two of them lay side-by-side and held each other's hands. All around them were her family. Her children, grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren. They'd all come to see them off. A shame the rest of team RWBY couldn't, but that made sense. They went on ahead of them and they were just for the last two to finally arrive. Typical Jaune, always making people wait, and she couldn't go on ahead of him now, could she?
Jaune's grip on her hand slackened and his wrinkled face smiled, "Blake...?"
"Yeah...?"
"I love you."
A feeling of warmth spread across her chest. She did it; she'd finally won. The last bet they ever made was on who would say it first. They'd said that declaration many times throughout the decades, but this was final. And he caved. It had taken decades - her entire life - but it was all worth it for this one moment.
"Jaune...you blinked first."
And then they both died. It was very sad, except it wasn't cause Blake was the Worst Girl.
So...apparently reincarnation was a thing. Either that or her chuunibyou phase had started early. That was what Blake Belladonna - now Belle Schnee - thought as she remembered everything from her past life on her fourteenth birthday.
And she wasn't the only one. Weiss, now named Schwartz, remembered as well. She was also now her twin sister, weird as that was to think about. Even weirder was that Blake was now human and a Schnee on top of it. Thankfully Weiss had done good work and ensured a legacy of equality and fair treatment based on her grandfather Big Nicholas. Would've been weird to end up in a family of slavers.
She didn't know the cause of it. Was it something Ozpin - who was still around stealing bodies - did for them or was it some kind of reward from the Brother Gods for stopping Salem? Either way they were quick to try and find the rest of their team. Finding Yang and Ruby took some time. The had unfamiliar surnames - Sakura - and came from Mistral instead of Vale this time. Also, Ruby - now Kairi - was the older sister now instead of Yang - now Flora. They seemed unsure of what to make of that.
And they also remembered everything. So yeah, either they were all suffering from the same collective delusion and knmew the exact same details about one another, or they really had reincarnated.
Finding Jaune was simpler by comparison, if only because he'd reincarnated into the same family name and had an eerily similar name, John. His mom was one of their great-grandkids, Delphine. Weird.
She went to meet him alone. Yang and Ruby had gone to see Penny, who had become Mantle's official protector, while Weiss used her connections to set up a meeting with Ozpin to try and figure something out. Alongside their memories they'd also gained the powers of the Maidens again, which convinced them all that it couldn't have been a coincidence. Something was happening here.
Right now that didn't matter. She walked up the eerily familiar steps towards the Arc household, the same one she'd spent decades of her life in, and stopped when she saw the boy carrying a package outside. He stopped as well and when their eyes met they both understood. Blake opened her mouth, trying to form the right words to tell the man who she'd spent love, life and death with.
She knew what she wanted to say.
"You totally blinked first."
Jaune dropped the package on his foot and howled in pain, hopping on one leg. Blake crossed her arms and looked on in smug satisfaction, "S-Seriously? We see each other again after all that and that's the first thing you say?"
"I figured it needed to be said." She grabbed his hand and pulled him along, "Now come on, we've gotta meet up with the others. I gotta tell them all about how you lost at the end."
Omakeception: Adam's True Torture
When Jaune Arc had been kidnapped, he'd expected the worst. Blake had told them horror stories about Adam Taurus. All the people he'd killed, his hatred for the humans that oppressed him. And now here he was, trapped and helpless in front of the man himself. Was he going to break his fingers? Gouge out his eyes? Disembowel him with that stupidly red sword he had?
No, it was worse.
"And this is when Blake and I first met," Adam said, pointing to the next photo on the album.
So apparently Adam had heard about her and Blake's fake relationship, and rather than just killing him like any normal psycho ex, he decided to 'prove' that he was a better boyfriend than Jaune could ever be. How? Why, by recounting his relationship with Blake from the very beginning, of course! Only then would Jaune realize that his relationship with Blake was nothing compared to the one she and Adam shared.
"And this is when she killed her first Atlas mercenary. I was so proud of her that day."
Dear Gods, make it stop! Jaune struggled against the chains but the chair refused to budge. He'd done everything to ensure Jaune wouldn't be able to escape his punishment, the proof of his and Blake's undying love.
"And this is the first ever poem I wrote for her. I'll read it out loud so you know exactly how much deeper my love for her goes than yours."
Jaune cried and begged, pleading to just get his kneecaps shot out. Not this, not this! Adam didn't listen, of course, and after he finished his poem he decided a poetry slam of one was in order and read through every single one he'd ever written to his captive audience. With every word uttered, Jaune felt his mind fraying at the seams. This. This was true torture.
He didn't know how much time had passed. Weeks, months, years even? Time had lost all meaning in the quagmire of Adam's declarations of how Blake was the Best Girl and that Jaune didn't deserve her.
He found out later it was only a couple of days, but the torture still aged him by a decade.
By the time team RWBY had rescued him, Jaune was at the edge of life and death. Not physically - Adam wanted him well-fed so he could hear him - but mentally. When Ruby cut his chains and reassured him that everything would be alright he'd screamed when he saw Blake enter the door after.
"Jaune, what-"
"Stay away from me!" Jaune cried, hiding behind Ruby. The fact that she was nearly a foot shorter than him didn't deter her, "You are not the Best Girl! You are not the Best Girl!"
Yang and Weiss entered the room only to find him hiding behind an increasingly confused Ruby and an equally confused Blake. Whatever, they didn't know what he'd been through. And Gods help them, they never should.
Man, Blake truly is Worst Girl. Even when she wins she just has to ruin everything. Even reincarnating into a new life doesn't change things. Her Worst Girlness persists no matter what. Poor Jaune, especially since it's implied he has to play babysitter again.
As for the last segment, yeah...I guess Jaune got lucky last chapter. It could've been worse. More seriously, I do have a question with regards to that.
Questions:
1. So I've gotten some comments about the torture scene last chapter. Since this is primarily a comedy fic, I deliberately downplayed things so that Adam just beats Jaune up rather than cutting out his eyes or taking a blowtorch to his face, but this has gotten some critique since it feels too mild to explain why Jaune would start drinking to cope. So now I have two options:
Option 1 - I go back and re-write the torture scene to be more graphic i.e not just punching and/or show Jaune being more traumatized by Adam's treatment. His behavior would be shaped by this trauma and he suffers from PTSD, thus explaining why he takes to drinking.
Option 2 - Keep the torture scene as-is and focus more on his feelings of weakness. He lost to Neo, lost to Adam, and Adam kept commenting on how weak and pathetic he was. This would flare up his insecruties again and he'd use vices such as drinking or the fight club to distract himself.
The option we go for also changes the tone. Option 1 would be darker since Blake would blame herself and Ruby would try and fail to fix him as best she could. Option 2 is lighter since Jaune just needs to regain his confidence instead of push past trauma. Option 2 also allows me to keep up the Jaune-Blake spite war, which is discontinued in Option 1 in favor of darker talks with Ruby, Qrow, and Mercury.
2. Out of curiosity, since team RWBY's gonna be overprotective of Jaune for at least the next couple of chapters, who would be the most reasonable about it? Conversely, who would be the most annoying about it? I wanna see what you guys think of the characters in this kind of situation.
Review Answers:
DamonSkyHartXV - But should the disparity even be really brought up when Ruby wasn't even considering it? Like she could also shoot Jaune in the back of the head, but that's not something you would think about.
Jack Redhawke - Like I said, I toned it down cause of the fic's genres. Might re-write it if people want more drama.
BrazeRancor - He is still trying to catch up, vain as it is. Remember that Yang had to hammer it into his head about how unhealthy this mindset was?
sos read - Because Jaune still has combat roles, so I can't have him go full politician? Also, I didn't contradict myself. Mercury can more than take care of himself, but he's not caught up to a team full of Maidens. Same as Jaune. He doesn't need to be as strong as team RWBY as long as he can take care of himself.
EmeraldFireblade - Could he barrel through? He spent many past chapters depressed cause he felt weak and useless. Ruby might not care, but I think Jaune would if the disparity was brought up.
Chuck B. Winanaki - Jaune's last attack against Adam was desperatel, pure and simple. He had no chance of winning so he had to take him down no matter what.