My First Fanfiction! Yay! It has stupid-ness, random-ness, and a mute Link! XD It's written in script form. And now here's Malon with the disclaimer.
Malon: Scaff doesn't own The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. Nintendo does. She also doesn't own Justin's Fate, Metriod Prime or Ocarina of Time. In fact, she doesn't seem to own much...
(Link is at Aryll's lookout at Outset Island.)
Aryll: LOOK! There's a girl getting carried by a big fat bird!1!
Link: …
Aryll: You better go save her!
Link: (But I don't want to.)
Aryll: You better go save her!
(Link goes into the mini forest the girl fell in and saves her. Then a pirate takes the girl out of the cave and Link follows because he's bored. Once outside he sees Aryll across the bridge and she waves. He waves with a sarcastic look on his face. His sister doesn't notice. Then suddenly evil music comes. )
Tetra (the girl Link saved): Why is there really intense music?
(Suddenly the evil fat bird takes Aryll. Link stands there. )
Link: (Too bad she left. She makes good brownies. Oh well. She DID steal my Metroid Prime game. Serves her right.)
(Tetra pushes Link off the edge of the cliff and then grabs him.)
Tetra: You shouldn't off jumped off that cliff there's nothing you can do.
Link: (What are you talking about? You pushed me off!)
(Link, Tetra and the pirate go down to shore where the Pirate ship is. There they are greeted by Quill, the mail carrier. )
Quill: YOU SHOULD LET LINK COME WITH YOU ON YOUR SHIP TO SAVE HIS SISTER! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE GOT KIDDNAPPED! NOW LET HIM COME WITH YOU!
Tetra: Okay! But you should get a shield.
Quill: SHE IS RIGHT!
(Link goes to his house and is greeted by his grandmother.)
Grandmother: She really is gone isn't she? Shame isn't it? She made good brownies. She'll be okay though. But you probably will want your Metroid Prime game back from her, so here is a shield!
(Link smiles, takes shield and goes on the boat.)
(On the boat)
Niko the Pirate: Um… according to this player's guide I'm supposed to make you do an easy swinging test thing and give you a spoils bag even though I'm not supposed to. Cool eh?
(Link looks at him and does the easy swinging test thing.)
Niko: Oh whatever you can have the spoils bag. I have a million of them anyway.
(Link takes it cheerfully and goes to deck.)
Tetra: HEY! GO IN THAT BARREL SO WE CAN CATAPULTE YOU!
(Link is thrown in and is catapulted. His sword falls to some different platform near the entrance of where his sister is and he falls in the water. He gets out and a stone floats out of his pocket. Link gets a flashback.)
/FLASHBACK/
The hero of time is going to Saria when Navi yells, "WHY DON'T YOU GO TO SARIA'S?"
/END OF FLASHBACK/
Stone: HEY! I'm Tetra! I put this stone in your pocket so I can see what a pathetic- uh, I mean good job your doing. Anyway, you have to go and take out all three searchlights then get your sword, defeat the baddie and then go inside to the place your sister is.
(Link does this. Then as Aryll is about to give Link his Metroid Prime game back, the big fat bird comes.)
Big Fat Bird: Hi Link! I have to take you now! Why? BECAUSE YOUR SISTER MAKES GOOD BROWNIES! I mean, caw?
(Link looks upset when the bird takes him away before he can get his game. The bird shows him to Ganon.)
Ganon: Well, even though he looks like a splitting image of the Hero of Time that sealed me in the sacred realm, let him go!
(Bird throws Link.)
(Link awakes the next morning in a red boat. The boat turns its head and looks at Link.)
King of Red Lions: Hello! I stalked you and found out that you want to save your sister and that you saw Ganon and now you're at Windfall Island. But I don't have a sail because I suck. Go get me a sail and then I'll tell you more stuff.
(Link does this.)
King of Red Lions: 'Kay, now instead of just stealing some heart containers and items to rescue your sister, you should go and get these three shinny rocks and then make the Tower of the Gods appear and beat the boss there and then get the master sword and then rescue her and then save and then power-up the Master sword and then find the pieces of the Triforce of courage and then beat up Ganon. Go it?
Link: (uh, no.)
King of Red Lions: You do? GREAT! Now sail over to Dragon Roost Island.
(Link does this.)
King of Red Lions: Okay, take this baton thing that I've been carrying around in my mouth that is full of gross saliva and use it to, gasp WAKE ZE WINDS!
Link: (Ew. Anything else?)
King of Red Lions: After you learn how to, gasp WAKE ZE WINDS you gotta talk to this brat and then go and make the great Valoo happy by destroying Gohma who being the first boss of the game is ironically probably the hardest boss of the game- I mean your quest and then get the pretty rock. Now do this and I won't spit on yew.
(Link does this.)
Medli: LINK OMIGAWD YEW ARE DAMN HOT I LOVE YEW!
Link: (Talking boat man, hurry up and let's get outta here, quick!)
King of Red Lions: Make the wind go south. To do this you have to, gasp WAKE ZE WINDS!
(Link does this.)
(Comes to the Forest Haven and jumps out of boat because he snores loudly.)
(Suddenly a screen comes up and it turns all dark. Link sighs, goes to the bathroom, eats a feast and sleeps. The next day there's some light even thought it's "night".)
Link: (Gawd, I love it when people stop playing the game. Geez people, think about it? When am I supposed to go to the bathroom and eat and sleep? DO NOT PLAY FOR MORE THAN 10 HOURS WITHOUT TURNING IT OFF!)
(Link goes to the Great Deku Tree, takes of the Chu Chus, gets the Deku leaf, goes to the Forbidden Woods and beats up the boss and Rescues Makar.)
Makar: Thank you! You're nice.
Link: (Thank you! Finally, someone appreciates me!)
Deku Tree: Here's another pretty rock for your rock collection. Now go to Jabu Jabu and rescue Ruto from his belly… I mean, This rock is important!
(Link shrugs and goes to the King of Red Lions.)
King of Red Lions: Now let's go to this place on your map because I say so.
Link: (Okay.)
(Link does this.)
King of Red Lions: OH MY GAWD JABU JABU ALSO KNOWN AS JABUN ISN'T HERE LETS GO TO WINDFALL ISLAND BECAUSE THEM PIRATES ARE THERE!
(Goes over there.)
(Link goes to the bomb shop, Tetra sees him, he overhears the password, goes to the pirate ship, gets the bombs from Niko, and stops to go into Tetra's room to see the entire story Justin's Fate printed out. Link reads it over, likes it a lot, and goes to the King of Red Lions.)
King of Red Lions: OMG LETS GO TO OUTSET TO SEE JABU JABU, I MEAN JABUN!
(They sail over to Outset with evil music. Link likes the background music a lot.)
King of Red Lions: Why don't you go and say hello to your little island?
(Link gets out, goes to the Fairy Fountain, bottles a fairy, brings it to his Grandmother.)
Grandmother: Thank you for curing that terrible cold of mine. Now did you get Aryll back?
Link: (No.)
Grandmother: Well that's too bad. Here, take the Players Guide so you can save her quickly and some yummy soup.
(Link smiles and goes to the King of Red Lions and they go over and bomb part of the island yet no one is the least bit concerned about a 12-year-old using explosive items. Then they see Jabu Jabu, I mean Jabun.
Jabu Jabu, I mean Jabun: Hey, you wanna go inside my stomach? I got a bit of a stomach ache, I mean, HYRULIAN LANGUAGE BLAH BLAH BLAH!
King of Red Lions: (Nodding.)
(Jabu Jabu, I mean Jabun, gives them the last shinny rock.)
(Link goes and puts the shinny rocks in these statues and then a giant castle thing comes out of the ground. Link goes there and gets to the boss and beats him and then rings a bell and then gets the Master Sword and looks at the cool paintings and then beats up the 25 baddies and stuff.)
(Suddenly the screen pops up and it's dark again. Link goes and chills, eats, drinks water, goes to the bathroom and sleeps.)
(It's light now and Link goes to the Forsaken Fortress and sees Phantom Ganon.)
Phantom Ganon: Hey Link. I'm bored. Wanna play tennis?
Link: (Sure!)
(They play Tennis and are all happy until the evil lightning ball hits PG a few too many times and he dies.)
Link: (Aw, he was cool, too.)
(A hammer appears and he uses it to go through the rest of the fortress and goes to Aryll and snatches his Metroid Prime game and some brownies.)
(Suddenly, Tetra appears and takes the girls back home where they belong. Link goes and fights the Fat Bird by using the players guide. Then he takes Tetra to the Hyrule under the ocean and shows her that she's Zelda and haves her stay in the stinky basement for god knows how long, powers up the master sword, finds the Triforce of Courage, stuff happens and he fights Ganon and beats him up.)
Link: YAY!
(And he lived happily ever after trying to beat Metroid Prime.)