Back to You – A Kirsten Story

A collective effort between D&E. We're savagely obsessed fans of the show. Our favorite couple obviously is Kirsten and Sandy. His favorite character is Kirsten. Her favorite character is Sandy. It's so perfect for us. We remind each other so much of the character, it's a little scary. Hahaha. Anyway, it takes place right after season two's finale. Kirsten's dealt with Caleb's death and that's probably about all that's different. We don't own or are affiliated with anyone. Read and Review. Thank you.

This chapter is basically Kirsten's thoughts on rehab, also, thoughts on returning after two months of being gone.

Chapter 1: Finishing up One Journey, Beginning Another (Kirsten)

Kirsten looked around the room that had been her home for the past two months. New experiences and lessons she never expected to have. Her bags were packed, bed made. I'm ready to go home, she thought to herself. The room had returned to its original state of blandness. No longer was it filled with pictures of the Cohen family, random cards she'd received, dried roses and flowers Sandy had sent her. The room had lost its Kirsten-esque aroma and presence. It had returned to being a room with a desk and a bed. She had felt its loneliness surround her when she first arrived. The solitude. The confinement. Suddenly, the room had become her oasis, the only area in the whole center where she felt anything other than guilt and sadness. The colors, green, the pictures, the mp3 player Seth had given her with songs she was sure Sandy had told him to load, the "forgotten kisses" from Hailey and the picture and letter from Ryan. Each had given her something, a part of her past to help her face the future. It helped aim toward a goal. It gave her strength she never knew she had. It gave her a sense of warmth and love she never got from the center. A sense of family, even though they were so far away. She felt as though they were with her. Family. She had finished dwelling on the thoughts of returning to the family, she was finally going to get to do it. She turned and walked away from the room, never taking a second look back. After all, she'd finished that journey and was now beginning another.

She looked outside to see a limo waiting for her. Her heart sank. She'd been hoping to see Sandy waiting for her at the passenger door, with his arms open to her and that adorable Cohen smile but there was nothing of that sort there. The driver greeted her with a smile and offered her a letter. From Sandy. As Kirsten stood frozen, staring at the letter in her hands, the driver put away her bags. Dear Kirsten, I'm sorry but I couldn't wait for you. I couldn't stand the fact that my wife was a drunken alcoholic. From Sandy. Thoughts of this nature began to cross Kirsten's mind. He wouldn't do that to me. He loves me, she thought to herself. He cleared his throat to signal that it was time for them to leave. She had already completed her goodbyes with the friends she had made in rehab but turned and smiled at those seeing her off.

She got into the limo and smiled brightly. Sandy had been there and prepared everything to make her feel comfortable and well loved. This made her feel guilty but relieved at the same time. The limo smelled of her favorite flowers and roses. The driver had played their song; flowers stared at her from every angle of the interior. A box of her favorite chocolates sat beside her and a cute black box decorated with pink ribbon was across from her. "Hmmm…" she moaned as she ate a chocolate and reached for the box. She carefully undid the ribbon and opened the box. She laughed aloud and reached in for the black lacy sheer material. Lingerie, Sandy, you never cease to make me laugh, she thought to herself. She decided that when it was time, she would try it on. For Sandy. She sighed as she decided to open the letter:

"My dearest Kirsten,

I'm so sorry I couldn't be there to pick you up today but I will make it up to you, darling. I promise. I've missed you, dearly. I wish I were there to hold you in my arms again. It's been so long. I've missed your warmth and your smile. I'm so glad you're coming back to me. There are so many things I want to say to you, to do to you. I hope you liked everything I prepared for you in the limo. That little black box isn't just for you, you know. I can't wait until I see you again. I love you.

Sandy."

Kirsten laughed at the last lines. It was so him. She began to feel ashamed of the previous thoughts she had had. She knew him better than that. He wouldn't leave her. Not now, not ever. Tears began to fill her eyes as she thought about everything.

It's been so long. I've never been so afraid in my life. What if things aren't how they used to be? What if no one remembers me? Anything good, just the bad. What if Ryan and Seth can't forgive me for what I've done, leaving them, abandoning them like that? Ryan's gone through this with his mother. I can't believe I did this to him. Putting him through this same agony, again. He trusted me to change things for him and I just turned them upside down. And Seth. How is he going to forgive me? He's gone through so much and has been so accepting about everything. Sandy's told me he believed that he should have paid more attention. Nothing is more not his fault. I'm ruining my family. Sandy's been amazing to me all these years and I go off on benders because someone else left. I've never been that woman. What happened to me? What's going to happen with everyone? Rehab was great but it was rehab. It took me so long to fall asleep. I was used to Sandy sometimes not being there when I fell asleep but he was usually there when I woke up, to greet me with a kiss. It was so hard for me not to have him there. Imagine what it was like for them. I need my family back. Two months is a long time without them. How can I just leave and return after so much has happened?

Kirsten closed her eyes to calm herself down but ended up falling asleep, in midst of it all. Kirsten woke up to the sound of the driver's voice, gently waking her from her sleep. They had made it home. Her bags were put upstairs as the driver had been order to and was simply waiting for the most precious cargo to be unloaded. She smiled at him, thanked him and sighed, looking up at her house. He pulled away as she proceeded up the stairs to the home she hadn't known in two months. She stopped at the door, pausing, waiting for something she was unsure of. She needed something, a sign for her to enter. She turned around; she wasn't quite ready, not yet. She walked over to the grassy area before she house and lay down. She looked up at the sky. Bluish with random clouds paving the sun's rays. The light made her eyes hurt so she shut them for a moment. Her ponytail began to annoy her so she let her hair down, cascading around her, framing her face. She settled into her lush wavy hair. The sun began to heat her skin, which she took as a sign to face her house. After all, it wasn't particularly hot outside that day. She got up and shook the loose grass free from her body, her T-Shirt and jeans. She walked the familiar path to her house, up the steps. She reached into her purse for the familiar shape of her keys. It was as if nothing had happened. Her habits had fallen back into place. She turned around to greet the day, picked the third key from the left of the chain and unlocked the door, swinging the keys in her other hand.

The house was empty. All that could be heard was Rosa cleaning up Kirsten's bags upstairs and a feeble "Welcome Back, Mrs. Cohen." Kirsten sighed a "thank you" that she knew no one would hear as she stood, trapped in her tracks, alone.