A Shattered Demon Child

Part 3

Iruka and Kakashi stood on both sides of the young blonde who was sitting in the chair before Tsunade. It had been some time before they'd had to do this to the poor boy, but not long after the third Hokage died was the time that they'd caught him doing things that they'd rather forget they'd ever seen the young boy do. Before Naruto, there was Jiraiya standing against the desk that Tsunade stood behind. Jiraiya had been informed that Naruto had been known for hurting himself and being suicidal, but he'd never seen it to be true until he found Naruto on the floor of his apartment unconscious. Tsunade had also had hard time believing the story, but nobody had told her until Jiraiya did.

"So, Naruto, is there something you'd like to share with us," Kakashi asked coldly.

Naruto shook his head. Tsunade was clearly not in the mood for it. She was both frustrated and upset at the situation for not noticing and nobody telling her about his problem. Tsunade asked, "Naruto, you need to clear this up for us. What did you do?"

Jiraiya sighed. "Kid, speak up. Now."

"What do you think I did?" The blonde said softly.

Kakashi sighed, looking at Iruka for a moment, and then he looked at Naruto. He said, "Lady Tsunade, this is getting out of hand. We need to do something."

Tsunade sighed. "You're right."

Naruto felt his heart drop to his stomach. "W-What are you gonna do?"

Tsunade laced her fingers together and looked at the young boy, eyeing every inch of his face. She asked, "Naruto, how long has this been going on?"

"Since I... Since I was five," he admitted.

Tsunade had a grim look on her face when he answered. She asked, "Is this all you do to yourself? We noticed some bruises on you when Jiraiya brought you in."

Naruto shook his head. "Mostly, I just cut myself. If I can't... I find other ways to substitute the sensation."

"Have you tried to kill yourself?"

"Yes," Naruto answered with a shiver. "I have. But not in a long time."

"When was the last time?"

He paused before answering. "Right after the village was attacked, before you accepted being the Hokage."

Tsunade said, "That's not a very long time ago. How many times have you tried?"

"...Eight times."

Iruka and Kakashi both stared at him in horror. They didn't know all this. When they asked him months ago, he said he'd only tried six times. There'd been two more times he'd tried since then. What were they doing wrong? Had they failed to take care of the young boy?

Tsunade asked with a shaking voice, "Why didn't you come to one of us?"

Naruto stayed silent. Tsunade moved onto the next question. She asked, "Where do you keep getting those bruises from?"

Naruto refused to answer. He'd just assume to be beaten to death first. At his rate, he'd be lucky to survive this conversation with Tsunade before she beat him into the ground for being so stupid. There was no way he'd survive this if he didn't answer some questions. He said, "I can't say."

"That's bullshit. Tell me who's been doing this to you," Tsunade demanded.

Naruto shrugged and curled into a ball. He asked, "What's the point? There's nothing you can do."

She walked around the desk in front of Jiraiya, who looked at the boy with concerned eyes. The young looking woman knelt down beside Naruto and cupped his cheek in her hand. She said softly, "Naruto, look at me."

He was trying to avoid her eyes, but somehow, he looked at her anyway. Tsunade said firmly, "I can only help you if you tell me who's hurt you."

Naruto sighed. "It's just... It's just some of the villagers that live near my apartment. That's all."

"They've been doing this to you? For how long?"

"Ever since I moved in."

Tsunade felt rage boil inside her chest. She cleared her throat and said, "Well, I'll have that taken care of as soon as possible."

"Don't."

The Hokage looked at the boy who barely spoke and she asked softly, "Why shouldn't I?"

Naruto said, "They're right, Granny Tsunade. I'm a monster."

She snapped. Tsunade growled, "Listen here, Naruto. You're not a monster. You are a wonderful young man and don't you forget it. You'd never hurt anyone who didn't deserve it. Understand?"

Naruto shrugged. He was lost in his ow haze. Jiraiya sighed and asked, "Kid, why can't you just talk to someone?"

Iruka finally spoke and said, "He's never been able to before recently. He has yet to come to me and talk."

Kakashi nodded. "I think it would be best if someone watched over Naruto until he's... Stable enough."

Naruto had a familiar feeling in his chest at that moment. No way in hell he'd let that happen. When Tsunade stood up, she noticed the look and body language the boy gave off. Jiraiya noticed too, and so did the other shinobi in the room. Naruto stood up as quick as he could. When he did, Jiraiya wrapped his arms around the boy as he tried to get away. Naruto refused to stay another minute and listen to it.

He growled, "Let me go!"

Jiraiya tightened his grip as the boy continued to resist. Kakashi walked over and said, "Calm down, Naruto. Everything's going to be okay."

"The hell it'll all be okay! Stop lying to me!"

Iruka walked towards the boy as he continued to fight and resist against Jiraiya. The toad sage held up, but was barely managing. Iruka said sharply, "Naruto, you need to stop it! Nothing's going to happen, okay? You can still be a shinobi and go on missions, but you'll just have us watching out more closely and we'll be there in case anything happens."

Naruto had tears forming in his eyes as he cried, "No! Leave me alone!"

"That's the entire problem, you idiot!"

Naruto looked at Tsunade as she slammed her fist on her desk. Her face was pointed down, but Naruto knew she was upset. She said with a shaky voice, "Naruto, just stop it. Let us help you before you destroy yourself. I won't let anything happen to you if you let me help you. I've seen enough tragedy in my life and lost enough people in my life to know what it's like when they're not there anymore. I understand you feel alone, but you can't let yourself be alone anymore because it's hurting you more than you realize. You're doing this to yourself and I'm not going to watch you throw your life away like you mean nothing what so ever!"

Naruto stopped resisting and watched the Hokage raise her head. She was crying. She sobbed, "Don't you dare think you're doing this alone! Don't you dare think nobody cares because we do care and that's why we're doing this to you! You're like a little brother to me, so please, just... Stop fighting alone."

Naruto felt his chest tighten as he realized she was right. He hung his head and whispered, "I... I'm sorry, Granny Tsunade."

Tsunade sat down in her chair again and hung her head. Iruka looked ready to cry too. Tsunade could only look at Naruto's arm covered in cuts that had yet to fully heal. Naruto was forced into the chair he'd gotten out of and Jiraiya stood there with his arms crossed. He looked worried. Iruka wrapped his arms across the boy's neck and hugged him from behind the chair. Naruto hung his head quietly as he tried not to let his emotions explode into something that he couldn't control anymore. Iruka said softly, "Naruto, please... You can't keep doing this. Not anymore. I mean it this time."

Naruto could do nothing but shake and feel as if his heart were being strangled in someone's hands.

Iruka said, "I'll look after him as much as I can."

Tsunade nodded. "Alright then. Naruto?"

He looked up at her with tears forming in his eyes. Tsunade said as steadily as she could, "Starting as soon as you're released from the hospital, you will be staying with Iruka until we think you're stable enough to live on your own and be trusted to be by yourself. Do I make myself clear?"

The blonde didn't do anything but nod. Tsunade sighed and said, "Good. Kakashi, you're to watch Naruto for the next few days until he's released."

Kakashi nodded. "Understood."

Jiraiya couldn't do anything but watch as the boy rose to his feet, still shaking. Iruka let him go and walked with him to the door. Kakashi followed them with an orange book in his hand as he followed them out. When the door shut, Tsunade lost her composure. She began to sob once again and put her head on her desk. Jiraiya said calmly, "It's okay, Tsunade. He'll be just fine."

She lifted her head up and said, "The boy hit a vein! Do you understand he could've bled to death? What would there be to save him? There'd be nothing that we could do to save him!"

Jiraiya slammed his fist on her desk and yelled, "I'm aware of that! I'm the one who found the kid unconscious! I don't want anything to happen either, but he's got to make that choice for himself whether or not he wants to live or die! I'll be damned before he destroys himself!"

Tsunade watched him close his eyes. Jiraiya let out another sigh. "I'm not sure what to do anymore."

Kakashi sat in the hospital room with Naruto and Iruka as Iruka finally snapped. He looked at Naruto with anger and pain in his eyes. Naruto looked empty inside. Kakashi watched the boy as Iruka finally got the nerve to speak with the boy one-on-one. Iruka calmed himself down enough to stop raising his voice at Naruto. He walked over to the bed Naruto was sitting in and asked, "Is there anything you need?"

The boy shook his head. Iruka sighed. "Would you like to talk about it?"

Naruto stayed frozen in place. Iruka moved closer to the boy and put his hand on his shoulder. Naruto started shaking. He was losing all his composure that he'd maintained for the longest time since Jiraiya found him and Tsunade requested to see him as soon as he was awake. Iruka waited and so did Kakashi.

Naruto said quietly, "I shouldn't exist. I just get in everyone's way."

Kakashi was surprised he said anything at all. Naruto had never actually came to them when he really should have. He'd hardly ever heard how Naruto really felt, and the few times he did, were probably the most depressing and hurtful of all. He'd listened to the boy for so long just talk about his big plans and dreams that seemed kinda silly, but somehow, he managed to make some of them true. However, those times he couldn't, he sounded just like this. Naruto hated telling people how he felt and it always made him feel like a whiner when he did. He knew some people had it worse than he did, so he figured he shouldn't be ungrateful for what he had and he never said anything for that reason.

Iruka asked, "Naruto, can you please just tell us how you feel? No holding back, no lies. Just tell us how you feel."

Naruto shook his head. He said, "No. I can't."

Jiraiya said bitterly, "Either you do or we'll force you."

The blond hung his head and sighed. The three shinobi watched as his body language and everything about him seemed to change but his appearance. They watched the boy raise his head and saw the shadows in his eyes and saw how tired he looked. He said lowly, "Fine. You wanna know how I feel, so I'll tell you. I'm tired. I'm sick of being worthless and being a complete and utter nuisance. I can't do a damn thing right and I'm tired of being called a demon. I can't help I'm a vessel for a demon, I just... I feel like I should just drop dead. The world would be better off without me."

The two pairs of eyes and single-eyed ninja still watched carefully. Jiraiya asked, "What about all those injuries? Are they from anything other than what you told Tsunade?"

Naruto didn't say anything. Iruka said, "Tell us."

Naruto sighed. "Sometimes it's other shinobi, but mostly it's the villagers. Look, I'm fine, okay? I'm still breathing... Sadly."

Iruka and Kakashi flinched at those words. Jiraiya watched his student carefully as the boy hung his head again. Jiraiya asked, "Did you mean to hit a vein?"

Naruto hesitated when he answered. "Yeah, I just... I hit it really quick and I passed out before I could finish."

Iruka turned away, trying not to cry once again. Kakashi watched with a grim look on his face as Jiraiya did the same, but instead of standing against the wall, he walked closer to the boy. Naruto tensed up, almost like he was expecting to be hit or yelled at. Jiraiya noticed and took a few steps back. He asked, "Why'd you do that?"

Naruto's face grew paler and he kept his head down. Iruka seemed to have a knowing look on his face. He asked, "Naruto, what's the matter?"

The boy didn't want to answer. Kakashi studied his body language and said, "It's obvious. He's been abused before."

Jiraiya looked at the white-haired man and then to Naruto. Iruka looked hurt, as if he hadn't had knowledge of this information. He asked, "You were?"

Naruto shrugged. "Well yeah, I mean, when I was at the orphanage before they kicked me out."

"By who?"

Once again, the boy avoided their eyes. "Nobody."

Jiraiya huffed. "Bullshit. You'd better start talking before I call in Tsunade again."

Naruto flinched and said quietly, "The headmistress wasn't the nicest. She didn't like demons all that much as it turns out."

Iruka looked ready to start yelling, which only made Naruto start shaking. By this point they'd taken his mask, ripped it off his face, and broke it in half. Naruto wasn't sure what to do anymore because this had never been a real problem before. Iruka wasn't sure what to do for the boy other than tell him they'd fix everything, but even he knew that he couldn't away all the pain he'd been through. There was just no way he could do it.

Iruka said, "Naruto, look up."

The boy did what he was asked and looked at his old homeroom teacher. Iruka said in a calm tone, "I'm sorry they did that to you, and if I could fix it all, I would, but I can't. What I can do is tell you that we won't hurt you and we care about you. Not just us, but others do to."

Naruto nodded, tears slipping from his eyes. He sat there shaking and his three teachers just watched. Kakashi had a sad and knowing look on what little of his face actually showed. By the time Naruto finally stopped shaking and the nurse gave him medicine for sleeping, Jiraiya had already been summoned by Tsunade to go to her office once again. He left and said goodbye to the boy before departing to the Hokage's tower. Iruka and Kakashi watched the boy closely as he fell into a drug induced sleep.

Iruka stepped outside of the room after a while and Kakashi followed him. The two men shut the door behind themselves and looked at each other. Kakashi asked, "Can you handle him, Iruka?"

"What do you mean?"

The shinobi answered, "I know this is hard for you to watch. He's one of your old students and you don't like this anymore than any of us do. I just want to make sure you're ready for what you might have to do."

Iruka nodded and said, "It's Naruto, so I'm ready. I'll adjust to what he needs and what I need to do; it's no problem."

Kakashi nodded. "Good. I'll keep an eye on him."

Iruka nodded and said goodbye as he left to return home. Kakashi watched him walk away as he walked back into Naruto's room. He noticed the boy was awake and he asked, "Naruto, why aren't you asleep?"

Naruto shifted, leaving the white-haired shinobi curious as to what was going on. He walked closer and noticed Naruto was actually asleep, but he was having dreams. He could see from the boy's body language he was definitely not sleeping peacefully.

Kakashi sighed as he sat in the chair near the boy's bed and read his romance novel, knowing the boy was probably going to move a lot, but that he wasn't going to wake up any time soon, hopefully. As he began to stir every so often, Kakashi could hear small noises coming from the sleeping body near him. Kakashi remembered the night that he and Iruka found Naruto unconscious in the woods after he hit his vein the first time; the boy made the same noises, but this time, the noises became more stressful and almost worrisome.

Kakashi silently watched the boy for a few minutes at a time as he noticed more movement. Naruto was breathing a lot faster than he should have been. In fact, it was very abnormal, especially considering Naruto had taken sleeping pills. Kakashi looked up every so often to notice the boy had moved or made a noise. For some reason, Kakashi also noticed how unsound the boy would move in his sleep. The sensei could only watch, knowing there was nothing for him to do until the boy woke up.

The next morning, Kakashi was still awake and enjoying his book when Tsunade walked in the hospital room. She watched the white-haired ninja read for a few moments. Clearly, he was tired and somehow restless. Tsunade watched the blond boy laying in bed shift and seemed deep in thought. Kakashi looked up at her as she walked over to Naruto and shook his arm. The boy's eyes opened as he groaned at the Hokage. He mumbled, "No... Too Early."

Tsunade smiled and said, "I know, but sit up. Iruka will be here soon and we need to talk."

Naruto sat up slowly and looked at Tsunade. She looked more tired than usual, and Naruto assumed it was because of him. Tsunade's smile faded as she let out a sigh. She said softly, "I need you to answer some questions honestly, okay?"

The boy nodded. Tsunade asked, "First off, how are you feeling?"

Naruto shrugged and said, "I feel fine."

Tsunade shook her head. "Not physically, mentally."

"Well... I feel nothing really. I'm just kinda here, ya know?"

Tsunade nodded. "Okay, that's better than I was expecting. Now, next question; can I trust you to come to me if you need anything?"

Naruto froze. He stayed still and silent as the woman nodded. "At least you aren't lying to me. Now, you need to see your therapist every week as long as you're in the village. You'll see Dr. Sato in a few days after you get settled in with Iruka, okay?"

Naruto nodded, not wanting to argue with her. Tsunade smiled and said, "Good, now, Iruka will take you home this afternoon. Until then, get some rest."

Naruto nodded and Tsunade looked at Kakashi, who was still watching them from his chair nearby. Tsunade said, "Kakashi, you're dismissed."

He nodded and stood. He walked over to Naruto and patted his head. He gave an eye smile and said, "I'll see you later, Naruto."

The boy nodded and Kakashi left the room with Tsunade. When they left, the boy dropped his smile and turned to face the window. He could finally have a moment to think and be alone. The boy curled into a ball and looked outside at the bright blue sky.

I don't understand why they'd care in the first place; it's not like they've ever cared before. I've barely had any time lately to even take care of the thoughts and the pain... I didn't ask them to help me and I want them to just leave me alone, like they always have. There's no reason for them to invest so much in me when I'm only going to let them down in the long run. It's not the first time and it definitely won't be the last time. Which is fine, because pretty soon, I'll make sure that it'll all be okay for good, Naruto thought to himself with a bit of frustration.

For the first time since they'd caught him, he could go through all his thoughts and think about everything he felt; it wasn't like they gave him much of a chance to explain and he didn't feel like telling them everything. They forget that he was an orphan since he was born practically and left alone with terrible people around him who, as terrible people do, did terrible things to him that couldn't be erased or fixed with the snap of someone's fingers. That was just not possible. Not to mention that he was still going to keep up with his unhealthy habit because it was the only thing that made him feel better anymore.

It was his fault that people hurt him and it was nothing he could fix because he himself was just a demon who couldn't do a thing right to save his life. He was just so... Tired. He wasn't sure what to do anymore and he was running out of options. He only saw one way to fix himself, but every time he tried, he failed or someone saved him before he could finish the job. Even on missions, someone would save him and he'd survive somehow. He was getting irritated with it all and it made him feel even worse. There was nothing he could do to fix himself but one thing, and everyone seemed to insist that he wasn't going to do that because he'd be hurting them.

Naruto couldn't hurt the few people who were saying that the cared, but he sure did want to. He knew he'd have to finish all the suffering before they figured out he was playing them for fools. Now that they'd caught him almost killing himself, they'd be watching even closer than they did before.