A Shattered Demon Child

Part 5

"The hell you were! We all care about you and nobody wants to see you get hurt and it's hard to help you when you refused to accept any help!" Iruka yelled at Naruto.

Naruto froze up. Kakashi was surprised Iruka was already upset. Iruka looked ready to cry, but he kept his anger. He looked torn between anger and pain. Iruka asked softly, "Do you have an idea what it's like to know you do this and that I'm useless in helping you?"

Naruto flinched and stayed silent. Kakashi looked sympathetic, but also angry. Iruka was already crying and sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. Naruto wasn't sure what to do, he felt bad for making Iruka upset, but at the same time, he was frustrated that they were trying to help him when he didn't need any help at all and he just wanted to feel the pain to help him out. Naruto stood away from Kakashi and Iruka. Kakashi broke the silence after a minute.

Kakashi said in an irritated tone, "Naruto, this is getting ridiculous. You clearly don't want any help and you seem to think you don't need us, so, I'll give you one last chance."

Iruka looked at Kakashi, who was starring at Naruto with a bit of anger in his gaze. He said darkly, "Either you straighten up, or I'll have Tsunade take over."

"W-What do you mean by that?"

"I mean she's going to have you sanctioned in the hospital until you start getting better. You're doing no better than when we caught you months ago. Don't even try to lie and say you're better when you're clearly not. The visits to the shrink are clearly not helping and you won't talk to us. You're out of options here. So, either you start trying or I'll take you to Tsunade," Kakashi threatened.

Iruka looked at Kakashi with his mouth hanging open in shock. Naruto looked angry but also horrified. He said, "That's not fair! I haven't done anything wrong!"

Kakashi growled, "You are hurting yourself and by doing that you hurt the people around you!"

Naruto's mind went somewhere else when he said that; a place he didn't think it would go. Naruto's eyes were wide as he realized what he was doing as probably wrong and it went against what he thought was right. He sat down beside Iruka and looked at his face. Iruka looked away from him. Naruto sighed and said quietly, "Fine."

Both shinobi looked at the blonde in confusion. Naruto asked with a sigh, "What do you wanna know?"

Kakashi paused and finally asked, "Why do you really do this to yourself?"

Naruto put on a sad smile and said, "It makes me have a little bit of relief and a little bit of control. I can control something and I feel good when I do it. I started and ever since I can't stop."

Iruka asked quietly, "What made all this start?"

Seven years ago...

Naruto ran to school, ready to start another day at the academy. While he was running down the street, someone tripped him. Naruto flew forward a few feet before planting his face into the ground. A group of villagers laughed and starred at the boy with hate in their eyes. Naruto got off the ground and started brushing off the dirt and dust. He looked at them and one of the men in the small group hissed, "Go to hell, demon scum! Die!"

Naruto flinched at the mans words and then ran off as the rest of the group kept telling him he was demon scum. He ran to school, trying not to cry and trying to stay happy. He had his sights on the school when a group of boys got in his way. Naruto stopped and looked at them.

"Hey demon," one of the boys said with a smirk on his face.

Naruto frowned and said, "I'm not a demon. Leave me alone."

The boy growled, "Mommy says monsters like you should just die. I hope you die."

Naruto flinched and then hissed back, "Oh yeah? You'll see, one day, I'll be Hokage and you'll have to respect me then!"

The group of boys laughed and another boy taunted, "The only way anyone will respect you is if you kill yourself, demon!"

Naruto looked at the ground and walked around them as they laughed. Naruto started walking into the school building and walked to his homeroom. He sat at his seat quietly; there were only a few kids in the classroom and Iruka was sitting at his desk. When he looked up and saw Naruto, the boy looked away and looked out the window. Iruka got up from his desk and walked over to the small boy.

"Hey, Naruto, are you okay?" Iruka asked curiously.

Naruto looked at him and said, "Yeah."

Iruka stared at him and said, "I think you're lying."

Naruto blushed and shook his head. "I'm not lying."

Iruka saw through his lies. "What's the matter?"

Naruto looked away from him and looked out the window. Iruka sighed and walked away, going to the front of the class to wait for the rest of the students to come in. After class started, Naruto was quiet and didn't even bother the class with a silly prank or anything. Iruka got a little worried about the boy. When it was time for lunch, Iruka tried talking to Naruto, but once again, Naruto avoided the questions.

For the rest of the day, Naruto listened to the boys behind him talk about him and call him names. Naruto kept his head down and pretended to pay attention to the lesson. At the end of the day, Iruka called Naruto to stay after class. Naruto was slightly annoyed that he wasn't leaving him alone. Iruka waited until all the kids left except for Naruto. The tiny blonde stood there with his arms crossed. His sensei said, "Alright, Naruto, you've been acting strange today. What's gotten into you?"

Naruto tilted his head innocently and asked, "What do you mean?"

Iruka huffed. "I wanna know what's going on, Naruto."

The young boy looked down at his feet and lied, "Nothing."

"Alright, you're free to go, but don't think I'll forget this tomorrow."

Naruto nodded and left the classroom. He wondered why Iruka even cared or bothered to ask him what was going on. It seemed pretty pointless to Naruto for him to ask that; he figured he'd just hear that it was his job and nothing else or he'd pretend to care. He was sick of being lied to and being called a demon. It hurt to hear it and Naruto was done listening. When he walked down the hallway, nobody was there. When he got outside the academy, however, he saw kids playing with their friends, waiting for their parents to come get them from school. Naruto wished he knew what having friends or family was like.

All he had was the headmistress, Ms. Kikuyu. She was an older lady with a bad temper for Naruto and all the other kids, but she was the worst towards Naruto usually. She'd make him do extra chores, lock him in a closet overnight or over the weekend if he was really bad. She'd hit him and beat him and leave him unconscious sometimes. The other kids didn't help him, in fact, some felt bad for him but never spoke to him for the fear she'd come for them next. Naruto didn't understand why she hated him so much.

When he arrived at the small orphanage with only about ten kids orphaned there, Naruto walked into the building and heard someone yelling. It was Ms. Kikuyu.

"You brats will pay for this! No dinner for either of you!"

Naruto saw two boys run out of the kitchen and down the hall to where the boys had to sleep. Ms. Kikuyu was walking out of the kitchen and saw Naruto. The old woman's brown and gray hair nearly stood up at the sight of the boy. Her dark eyes narrowed at him. He quickly went to where he slept down the hall in the boys wing. It was big enough to fit ten beds. At the orphanage, there were six boys and four girls. Nobody ever got adopted, according to Ms. Kikuyu. They were all forced to leave when they got to a certain age or got arrested.

"You useless brat, what are you looking at?" Ms. Kikuyu asked bitterly.

Naruto said quietly, "Nothing, ma'am."

She walked over and slapped the boy across the face. She growled, "Know your place, you worthless demon!"

Naruto ran out of the building after she got angry. He ran down the street and when he did, he fell and cut his elbow. Naruto got off the ground, realizing a piece of glass was sticking out of his elbow. Somehow, it didn't bother him he was injured and bleeding. The boy felt something strange when the pain sunk in. He thought it was a good feeling. He ran into the woods and began cutting his legs and parts of his arms to make it look like scratches from training on his own.

Iruka and Kakashi both stared at the boy after he finished telling his story. Iruka had a sad look on his face, and Kakashi had a knowing look in his eye. He looked at Iruka and asked, "Can we have a minute alone?"

Iruka nodded and left the room. Kakashi waited until Iruka was gone. Naruto was curious what Kakashi had to say. Kakashi looked at Naruto and said, "I understand why you do this. I just don't understand how I can convince you to stop."

Naruto snorted, "You don't know how I feel."

Kakashi's tone changed. He sighed and said, "You feel this is the best way for you to relieve how you feel. You think you're useless, pointless, and worthless. Am I wrong?"

Naruto was a little surprised. He asked, "How would you know all that?"

Kakashi looked at him with a knowing look that seemed to show internal conflict. "I've seen a lot of shinobi in my lifetime die, Naruto. They just couldn't take it anymore, they were strong, but they were too stubborn to understand that nothing always goes the way we want it to. People will get hurt and people will die. That's just how it is for a shinobi. For some, they just can't handle it. You, Naruto, are different. You understand that, but you still beat yourself up over it because you don't feel you did the right thing or you messed up."

Naruto blinked and Kakashi sighed, "Everyone feels like that, but when it becomes a bit more serious, like your bad habits developing, it's dangerous for you and everyone around you."

The blonde nodded and the white-haired sensei hugged his student. "Not everything is going to be okay, and that's okay. We'll just have to work through it, okay?"

He nodded and stayed silent as Iruka walked into the room again. Iruka looked at them both and Naruto had a look of remorse.

"I'm sorry, Iruka-sensei."

His homeroom teacher smiled and said, "It's alright, Naruto. We'll figure this out, okay?"

Naruto nodded with the best smile he could put on his face. "Right!"

It wasn't long before that side of Naruto went back to the way it had been for many years. He lied and smiled to Iruka and Kakashi; not bothering to let them in on what was really going on with him. He hung his head, sitting on his bed. It was late that night, the night that Naruto decided maybe faking it was really the best way to get out his current situation. He knew faking it was getting harder and harder on him physically and mentally. He was exhausted, but his mind still kept him up at night.

Naruto told himself he'd at least cut back on his habitual nightly routine until he was in the clear. He deemed it possible to keep up the lies. He had to keep it up or else he'd surely be sent to Tsunade. He refused to be confined where he couldn't go on missions see his teachers. He'd lose his mind if he couldn't be a ninja considering it was all he ever wanted aside from becoming the Hokage. He couldn't let himself get in the way; he had to keep going until he could find a way around all of this chaos. He didn't know if he could give in and change due to the fact he didn't know if there was a point. He still felt empty most days, and others, he felt like nothing more than a loser.

Kakashi barely noticed the part of him that wasn't doing great. Naruto would let him see that part of him was still hurting. He showed it a little every now and again, just enough to not look as fake as he wanted to be. He wanted all of it to go away, and there was nothing to change that right away. It would take time for him to have a front again that was rock solid. He knew seeming perfectly fine would only throw up red flags and draw more attention to himself. It disappointed him almost that Kakashi and Iruka both didn't see he was hiding from them for the most part.

In his dark room, the room felt cold but Naruto wasn't bothered by it in the slightest. He decided a few weeks ago he'd stop eating as much. It had only been two weeks since Kakashi and Iruka gave him the ultimatum, but it felt like months ago. Naruto was trying to play off like the therapy was helping; in truth, he only made them think that. He sat there for the hour he had to and told them what they wanted to hear. He wasn't great, but he was getting better. They liked that; not too happy, but not too miserable. He was in the neutral now, which was perfect for playing them like he had done for years.

In truth, Naruto hurt more and more the more the days went by. Everyday was the same. It was hard to get out of bed, it was even harder to train and be hyper all the time. All he wanted to do was run away and hide from the world. People still treated him like a demon when he was by himself. They still beat the crap outta him when he was out late. Partly, he didn't care they bothered him anymore. Just a few more scratches and bruises; nothing he couldn't handle. They beat him up, but they'd been getting worse by the week still. Naruto didn't care that much; he didn't blame them for hating him. Hell, he hated himself more than they did.

His body may have felt sore, but his head was always full of morbid and graphic thoughts that would scare all of them. He wasn't bothered by the fact he was constantly wishing himself dead, or that one of them would beat him to death one day. Naruto wanted them to get worse so they'd eventually kill him. He knew he couldn't hurt himself without Kakashi and Iruka being upset and thinking they failed him. If he was beat to death, he figured they'd just get angry and they'd be alright with him not committing his own murder. He wasn't sure if it was still considered suicide considering he would go to them with the knowledge they'd kill him and he wanted them to. He didn't care one way or another; whatever got the job done was fine with him.

Somberly staring at the floor boards below his bed, he felt the sharp pain in his chest again. The sharp pain of knowing he'd probably live if they did try to kill him. The pain also reflected that it would hurt Iruka and Kakashi. He did believe they did care considering how much hell they'd put him through for the past few months. There was nothing but the sharp pain at this point. Aside from that, the world around him was still. He sat there, thinking about all the details of how and when he intended to get his plans into motion. He knew it would take time considering how things had been slowly escalating there lately. There wasn't must more he could do to get them even more pissed until he provoked them, but that would leave a trail. He couldn't leave a trail in case they caught onto his plans.

The last thing he needed was Iruka or Kakashi once again ruining his plans. He tried to throw out the fact that he knew he needed to get his mind off of everything. He needed to do something in order to get things set in motion quicker. The quicker the better and sooner results. He didn't want to be stuck once again in a world he didn't belong in. He wanted nothing more than to get out of it and leave it all behind.

He was going to throw away everything. Every friendship or relationship of any kind would be erased. It wasn't like he had too many people in line worrying about him beside Tsunade, Kakashi, and Iruka. Everyone else couldn't give a damn about him. Naruto assumed he wasn't in the wrong and that they just didn't get it. If they were him, they'd understand where he was coming from. He didn't want to explain to him everything because there was no point. It wasn't like they could write all the wrongs that had come about in his life. That would be impossible.

Besides, if they could do that for him, they should use that energy on someone who actually deserves the effort. He didn't. He didn't deserve the efforts that they all were putting into him. He was nothing more than a demon child and that's all he'd ever be despite his efforts.

Hello everyone! I'm back... not sure for how long, but anyways, thought I'd get to work on this chapter. Thank you guys for the support and comments; I really love reading them. Thanks for the patience as always.

-xXstarryXnightXx