A Shattered Demon Child

Part 7

Kakashi felt helpless watching his student breakdown. The boy couldn't do all this alone, yet somehow, he tried to carry the weight all by himself. Kakashi wanted to at least lift up some of the weight his student had to carry with him. Instead, he had to sit while the weight of everything started to crash down. It wasn't long before Naruto finally fell asleep. Kakashi noticed the steady breathing and the tension that had finally released from Naruto's body.

Kakashi was grateful that for once he didn't have to convince Naruto to sleep. He smiled warmly as he put Naruto under the covers of the bed. Kakashi sighed at the dark circles under his student's eyes. He'd lost a considerable amount of blood, but his healing would surely help with that within the days following, or at least Kakashi hoped so. Watching his student in a deep sleep, Kakashi decided he'd give Naruto his space and leave him alone until morning. Kakashi knew the bathroom wasn't terribly bloody, but he still needed to take care of it; he didn't like the idea of his student possibly seeing the aftermath of his destructive behavior. Kakashi also had to get all the blood off his clothing and take a shower. Gathering a plan, the shinobi stood up and left Naruto to sleep.

Kakashi gently shut the door to where Naruto was sleeping and went to go shower. He gathered a change of clothes and headed into the bathroom once again. He finished cleaning up what blood remained in the tub and on the floor. Luckily, there wasn't too much to deal with. After he was done with cleaning up, he took a shower in hopes to maybe gather his thoughts and maybe put together a plan as Naruto wouldn't recover overnight; it would take a while to get him out of this mess. It wasn't going to be easy in any way, but at the very least, Kakashi could try to help with the process of helping his student heal from all his trauma and destructive tendencies.

As Kakashi felt the warm water hitting his face, he wondered what Minato would've done differently. Going back through his memories of Minato, he assumed his sensei would probably do the same things he was doing, if not, more. If there was one thing Minato taught Kakashi, it was to help out the people he cared about. Granted, Kakashi didn't really have anyone for the longest time, he had his genin to look after and teach as his sensei did. The blood on his arms and his chest only proved more to Kakashi that he couldn't allow Naruto to destroy himself. He was so much more than the nine-tails container.

After pushing away the dark thoughts of the past and thinking about what he did wrong, Kakashi finished his shower and got dressed. He took all the bloody towels and clothing to the washer. He wanted to check on Naruto one more time before he went to bed. He opened the door quietly and peaked inside to see Naruto still sound asleep, curled on his side facing the door. Kakashi felt his heart sink once again as he felt grateful his student was still sound asleep and still breathing. He never thought when he met Naruto that he'd ever think that this was going to happen. He thought the boy was nothing close to depressed, let alone suicidal when he first met Naruto.

Kakashi flinched at that word. It was a word that dug a hole in his heart knowing he lost his father to suicide, and now, he had to watch his student on the brink of hurting himself or wanting to end his life. He was far too young to be thinking such a thing; it wasn't right for anyone to feel such pain. The copy ninja stood against the frame of the door, wondering how he would manage to sleep while he worried about Naruto. He knew exhaustion was nothing to ignore, especially if anything were to happen. He'd have to be ready for anything.

The empty sleep was surprising to say the least for Naruto. If he had any nightmares, he was too tired to remember them. His eyes felt glue together as he opened his eyes. His eyes began to focus on the door across the room from him. He blinked, in a tired and confused daze. He sat up slowly and went to get up when he noticed both his arms were wrapped all the way to his elbows. The shirt he wore was also notably large on him and so were the sweatpants he wore. Naruto remembered bleeding in the tub, and then, he woke up in a tub full of water with Kakashi cleaning off the blood that soaked through his clothes onto his skin.

That's right. Kakashi-sensei must've found me after I lost it. He must've brought me here... Dammit, I should've been more careful, Naruto thought bitterly to himself.

At that moment, he heard a soft knock on the door. His body tensed up as he didn't reply. The door quietly opened and there appeared a familiar masked jonin peaking inside. He saw Naruto and gave him a warm look.

"You're awake."

Naruto nodded and pulled his knees to his chest. He looked at his sensei, unable to speak and unsure if he even knew what to say if he tried. Kakashi walked into the room and left the door open. He sat down on the edge of the bed not far from Naruto. His warmth left as it turned into worry and confusion. He watched his student. Kakashi was afraid for his student; unsure what was going on in the blonde's head as he sat there quietly. He had a pretty good idea of what he thought, but he couldn't be too sure.

"Naruto... We need to talk about it."

The boy shrugged. "There's nothing to talk about."

Kakashi shook his head and said, "No, there's quite a lot we need to clear up."

"Like what?"

The sensei crossed his arms and asked, "You didn't intend to kill yourself, correct?"

Naruto gave him a small nod. Kakashi studied the boy language of the boy. Naruto didn't even want to acknowledge there was anything wrong at all. He refused to acknowledge he was careless and got carried away. He didn't intend on killing himself with his actions; he just wanted to relieve a little bit of the pain. Instead, he just caused himself even more problems and pain for his sensei. He didn't want it to turn out this way, but Naruto knew this was going to happen again at some point if he wasn't careful.

Kakashi moved a little closer to him. "I haven't reported this to anyone, not even Lady Tsunade. I wanted to talk to you first before I talked to her. I wanted to hear from you what happened first. It didn't seem to me like you were trying to seriously endanger yourself. I'm thinking you were just being a bit reckless. Right?"

Naruto nodded limply. "Yeah, that's basically what happened."

Kakashi sighed and asked, "Have you really been pretending all this time to be doing better?"

Again, he nodded.

"I thought something was off. I'm sorry I didn't confront you sooner and just ask you," Kakashi apologized.

Naruto looked up at him with almost the eyes of a puppy. Kakashi felt the strings in his heart get pulled a little more as he looked at the son of his sensei. He felt he truly failed his sensei. While Kakashi was most certainly not the most understanding shinobi, he did understand some of Naruto's pain. His father killed himself and was considered scum, and for that, some of the villagers and other shinobi resent him for what his father did. Not to mention the other parts of his childhood that truly made him understand how a child could be in so much pain.

"I know this it isn't easy to talk about, but I need some answers."

Naruto just looked at him with an empty expression. Naruto truly felt nothing at that moment but regret. It was at that moment he wished he was actually trying to end his life. He wouldn't have been dealing with Kakashi's questions at least. He'd be in the hospital and he wouldn't be cornered. This wasn't the worst, but Naruto hated it regardless. In response to his dark thoughts, he pulled his knees closer to his chest.

Kakashi put his hand on Naruto's right knee. "I know it doesn't make it any easier, but I know how you feel."

Naruto snorted and said dully, "Yeah, sure."

Kakashi moved his hand and sighed. He pulled up his sleeves on both his arms and Naruto watched him, curious about what his sensei was doing. Naruto at first didn't see anything at all until Kakashi traced one of the faint scars on his forearm. It was hardly noticeable, and Naruto had never noticed it until Kakashi pointed it out. On both his arms, going from about his elbow down to his wrist, there was a thin scar that was barely visible, seeming many years old.

"Sensei..."

Kakashi cut him off, "I really do know how you feel. While my childhood was different, I felt similar to you."

Naruto blinked in shock. "But... Why are you showing me this?"

His sensei answered sheepishly, "Because I want you to see there is more then the pain. I've lost people in my life and been hurt by some of them, but my sensei showed me that I was more than all the pain I felt. I thought I was nothing, that I was nothing but scum, and despite my efforts to push my sensei away, he always in the end managed to talk a little bit of sense into me. There were more scars, but they've all faded except these two."

"Did you... You know..." Naruto's voice trailed off.

"Yes, Naruto. I tried to kill myself, and not just once. It took a long time, but before the fourth Hokage died, he helped me get to the point where I am now. While his death was tragic and it did really leave an impact on not just me but the entire village, but he left something behind with me."

"What was it?"

Kakashi answered warmly, "He helped me see that I was more then my pain and all the loss I had experienced in my life. It took years, but I learned to accept my past and move forwards. That's why I didn't just take you to the hospital this time. I thought maybe this would help you see there is something more than all the pain. You have friends, Naruto. Whether you think so or not, they care about you. The villagers don't know who you are. You can show them who you really are. I know you can get passed this, because I did. My sensei believed in me, and I believe in you. It won't be easy or immediate, but I will be there for you."

Naruto felt the tears well up in his eyes as Kakashi finished talking. He felt a tug inside his chest as he looked up at his sensei. He knew the pain Naruto did, and he wanted to help Naruto. He genuinely wanted to help the young boy. The blond felt a sob in his chest as he hugged his knees tighter to his chest. He put his head down and started crying silently. Kakashi hoped his message got through to Naruto; he didn't want to lose him. Kakashi knew the darkness well enough to know what would happen if Naruto sank deeper into it.

Kakashi pushed down his sleeves and hugged his student. It was all he could do to keep from choking up. Naruto's body shuddered a few times as he sat there, trying to understand the situation and information in front of him. Not only did Naruto feel selfish, but he was shaken by the fact his sensei used to be the same way. Kakashi had done well for himself in the long run.

I've been such an asshole... The least I can do is try. I don't want to hurt Kakashi-sensei; he actually cares about me and understands most of my problems. He's been through so much to get to this point; he actually managed to let it all go. Maybe he can help me?

Hello, hello! I've been gone for a while, I know, and this chapter is a bit shorter than usual, BUT I promise, I'm working on the next chapter and hope to have it up ASAP. Also, I know some of my facts and information presented in the story might or might not be inaccurate to the cannon of the series, but I do try to keep the facts in order the best I can. I appreciate your patience with me. And yes, Kakashi is a little OOC in this story and some facts don't line up with the cannon, however, it is linked to another story I'm working on which is about young Kakashi (again, not exactly in line with cannon), so if you wanna check that out please do.

It's posted on my account as Secret of the Copy Ninja. You don't have to read it for context in the situations in this story, but if you would like to see angsty young Kakashi, feel free to check it out.

(Disclaimer: Kakashi's story is still in progress, however, it does have more chapters and is updated a bit more.)

Thank you guys for your patience and I hope you enjoy the story so far!

-xXstarryXNightXx