Disclaimer: I don't own these people

Author's note: Second chapter to the new angst fest. Let me know if this sucks and if I should desist immediately. Also, remember there are some mild SPOILERS for season three.

CHAPTER 2

Sheldon Hawkes

I have a hard time keeping up with Lindsay as she storms out of DeMarco's - glancing back to Danny all over the bottle blonde cost me precious seconds. I finally catch up with her on the sidewalk.

"Hey Lindsay, wait up. Lindsay!" I yell, and grab her arm. She pulls away, but slows down so I can keep up.

"I can't believe it. Hanging all over that chick like a cheap suit."

Sometimes the best thing a man can do is hold his tongue - I know now is one of those times.

"Stupid. Just stupid. I shouldn't have been involved with him in the first place. I knew he was complicated, knew he was trouble. But I thought I could make a difference, Sheldon. I thought I could help." Lindsay stopped short, and I put a hesitant hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry." I watch as she struggles to maintain composure. Danny, you are such an idiot. I pull a slightly resistant Lindsay into my arms.

"He told me he loved me, Sheldon. And I believed it."

"I know, sweetie. C'mon, let's get you home."

Lindsay Monroe

Sheldon drove me home, which was a good thing, because I'm still shaking even as I try to fit the key into the lock. He finally takes the keys and lets us both in. He stands uncertainly just inside the doorway.

"You want to be alone, Lindsay? Just say the word." Even in my misery, I smile. Sheldon is always polite. I realize this is the first time he's really been in my apartment. Usually we just meet somewhere, and if he picks me up, I come right out. It's on the tip of my tongue to tell him to go on home, but I can't get the words out.

"I can't Sheldon, because I really don't want to be alone right now." I curse silently as tears threaten. Why did I let him do this to me?

Sheldon makes himself comfortable on my couch, watching me carefully. "You want to talk about it? Or would you rather find some crappy late night movie and zone out?"

I don't answer - I'm really not sure what I want - and sit beside him, grabbing the remote. As I channel surf, Sheldon waits me out. Next thing I know, I'm telling him the whole sordid mess.

"It was after Louie's accident. Once they got Sassone, you remember Mac gave Danny some time out. He kept coming here, wanting to talk. We'd stay up for hours on end, and half the time he fell asleep on the couch. It was all strictly friendship."

I fall silent. A minute later, Sheldon, probably sensing my need to get it out, prompts me. "Until?"

I sigh. "Until Louie died. Danny went to the funeral - and you know we all went. Before I left, I reminded him my door was always open. Nothing like serving myself on a platter, right? Anyway, he came over, and we talked. We cried. We hugged. Next thing you know we're in bed together. I was scared the next morning, you know, that he would think less of me, or that he just used me. But he was so sweet, you know? Said he always wanted to touch me, kiss me, and it took losing his brother for him to realize how much I meant to him. From then on, we were inseparable, although I think we kept it pretty quiet."

Sheldon broke in. "Some of us suspected, but you did a good job of keeping it on the down low."

I nod and pause before continuing. "He told me he loved me, had almost started to love me from the first day we met. It wasn't just sex, Sheldon, we were friends. We comforted each other when Flack was hurt, laughed over beers, went to baseball games. Then that hostage mess, and everything went to hell. He told me we were over, that he couldn't face me being taken away, so he had to end us before we got to far. What a crock."

"Why is it a crock?"

"I was probably just another notch on the old Messer bedpost." Even as I say it, I know in my heart it isn't true.

Sheldon's quiet, then continues. "I've watched you both these past few weeks, and if I've noticed anything, Linds, is that you're both pretty miserable. He looks at you when you're not aware, asks after you when you're not around. That girl tonight? Just a distraction, Lindsay. He's trying to lose himself so he doesn't have to think about you."

Hawkes

I'm quiet for a few minutes, and I listen to Lindsay sniffle beside me. Then she startles me.

"You sound like a man who speaks from experience, like you've tried to forget someone. Faith?"

I'm surprised, but I shouldn't be. Lindsay's perceptive - it's one of the reasons we're good friends. Neither of us miss much. "Yeah, but that's another story." I'm not ready to talk about Faith right now.

"I suppose what I'm saying is - and I guess it makes this situation even harder - that I believe Danny does love you, and it scares him. When you put yourself on the line back there, it made him realize losing you was a possibility, and one he's not ready to face."

"Well, I don't think Danny's games and screwed-up psyche are anything I can face, Sheldon. Does that make me awful?"

I smile gently at her tear-stained face. "No, it makes you human. I'm not telling you what to do, I'm just saying don't downplay what you and Danny had, or could have." I watch her eyes drift off, going somewhere I can't see.

"He's not the only one with demons. We've all lost people, and not all of us give up."

Somehow I know it's time for me to leave. I rise, and she stand up with me, walking me to the door. I reach down and give her a hug - her small frame practically lost in my embrace. "You call me anytime you want to talk. I'm here."

She thanks me and I head home. When I arrive, my answering machine is blinking. I listen and am surprised to hear Lindsay.

"Hey, Sheldon. Just wanted to say thanks for tonight …" Her voice trails off and I think she's done, but - "…You know, I think you have some demons of your own. If you ever want to talk, I'm here, too. 'Night."

I'm smile, a bit sadly, knowing that I could lead a lecture on the trials of Faith and me. If I could share it with anyone, it would be Lindsay. The next message clicks on.

"Shel? Baby? Are you there? Pick up …Okay, maybe you're not there, but call me when you come in. I don't care what time it is."

I stand there, debating, knowing I shouldn't call her, knowing it will be more of the same. I finally resolve to go to bed, heading off toward my room, when there's a knock on the door. I don't need to look to know who it is. I answer, and there she is, as beautiful and tragic as ever. "Hey baby …" Her greeting cut off by sobs, she collapses in my arms.

And I am lost.

TBC