A Shattered Demon Child

Part 15

Just as a heads up, this one gets a little dark and a little graphic.

You've been warned.

-xXstarryXnightXx

The mission was a failure once again to bring Sasuke back; he was almost too far gone, and Naruto once again failed to bring him back, and that was on top of the fact he hurt Sakura in while under the Nine-Tails' control. When the group returned to the village, Naruto bailed from the rest of the team. Yamato did take not of it, but at the time, his hands were tied. He had to report to Tsunade right away, and then he would deal with Naruto. Naruto was cleared angry, and Yamato preferred to talk to the Hokage without a fight breaking out. The fact Naruto was so pissed off was enough for Yamato to reason he should be fine on his own; he just needed to blow off some steam.

When he and the rest of the team entered Tsunade's office, the blond woman looked at the group with a serious look on her face. Sakura and Sai both walked in right behind their alternate leader and stood quietly as they waited for Tsunade or Yamato to speak. Eventually, Yamato gave a short report about the events that took place, while also keeping out a few details Sakura and Sai weren't supposed to hear. After the report, Tsunade dismissed the two teens and told them to go home and to wait for her to give them a new assignment in a few days. The two left as instructed by their Hokage, leaving Yamato and Tsunade alone in the office.

"Where's Naruto?" she asked calmly.

Yamato sighed. "I assume he went to go blow off some steam. He seemed pretty pissed about what happened."

Tsunade thought for a moment before she asked, "Is he still mad at me?"

"I'm not sure, m'lady. This is Naruto we're talking about."

The blond sage let out a heavy sigh. "That's why I'm worried."

"Do you want me to go check in on him?"

Tsunade sighed. "No, I suppose not. He's been doing fine the past year. I promised to give him his privacy and his own space if he kept up his end of the deal. Besides, I don't want him getting more pissed off than he already is. I guess just go report to Kakashi for now. Jiraiya should be back in the next day or so, so that just leaves Kakashi and Iruka. I'll talk to Iruka myself tomorrow about what's going on."

Yamato nodded. "As you wish, Lady Hokage."

The jonin did as she requested; he started making his way towards the hospital. Yamato was sure Naruto was probably training to clear his head, and he had no evidence to prove otherwise. He was informed a few details about Naruto's old habits and his self-destructive tendencies, but he just didn't see it as a serious thing at the time. Tsunade seemed convinced Naruto was doing better, and neither Jiraiya nor Kakashi had told him otherwise. The Anbu just didn't see an issue with it; Naruto seemed like a pretty happy and energetic teenager. Yamato wasn't sure how Kakashi would react to what happened, but he assumed the sensei would be worried about the teen like Tsunade.

After Yamato entered the hospital and made his way to Kakashi's room, he knocked on the door. Kakashi called for him to enter the room, and so he did. Kakashi was sitting up in his hospital bed with a familiar orange book in his hand. The jonin looked at Yamato and put his book down in his lap. Yamato waved as he walked across the room.

"We're back," the Anbu greeted in a neutral tone.

Kakashi looked at Yamato with a dull expression on his face. "I take it things didn't go well?"

"Not exactly," Yamato stated. "Things got a little out of control."

The gray-haired jonin sat up straight as he asked lowly, "What happened?"

Yamato began to explain the events of their mission. He explained what happened when Naruto snapped and grew four tails, and how he hurt Sakura while under the Nine-Tails' control. The sensei flinched at the details, but he still listened to his own dismay. One thing the wood-style user noticed was that as he went on about Naruto's fight with Orochimaru and the encounter with Sasuke, Kakashi's eye reflected more and more concern. The brown-haired jonin knew the look on his face; Kakashi was worried for his student.

"How did he seem on the way back?" Kakashi asked sternly.

Yamato shrugged and said, "He seemed a little angry, but otherwise fine. He only got mad once we got close to the village."

Kakashi's eye widened. "When's the last time you spoke to him?"

The moment Naruto entered his apartment, he locked the door and leaned his back against the door. His blue eyes were clouded as he let out a heavy sigh. Naruto was mad, but not at Tsunade or his teammates. The blond grew to a heartbreaking realization; the mission was most likely the last retrieval mission to bring Sasuke back. Time was almost up and there was no fixing his mistakes. He hurt Sakura and he let Sasuke slip away. Everything was falling apart right before his eyes, and there was nothing he could do but watch his world fall to pieces again. Just like the world around him, his mind started breaking and snapping. The weight of the world seemed to cause him to sink into the darkness again.

The air was gone, and the small traces of light that even the dark curtains couldn't keep out seemed to fade away. The blond slid down the door to his apartment as he realized his lungs weren't getting air anymore. He couldn't breathe deep enough, nor could he inhale hard enough to get oxygen to his lungs. Naruto gripped his blond locks between his fingers before digging them into his scalp. He was breathing, but he was suffocating. Logic and reason had left his mind as the pain and guilt took over. His rapid breathing started to become shallow, still unable to get air. He was practically curled into a ball with his back against the front door of his apartment; unable to move.

The room around him was ten times the size it normally was; he felt small as he glanced at the world around him. The roof hadn't caved in, nor had a wall, and the room around him was lifeless. It was cold and void of life in his apartment; the world didn't exist outside this seemingly large space.

Not again, Naruto thought frantically to himself as he tried to take deeper breaths. Why does this keep happening? Why won't it stop? I don't understand; I can't breathe.

The dizziness kicked in after the first thirty seconds, which caused Naruto to almost slump over on his side. Naruto knew he had maybe a few minutes at best to calm down before he passed out. Despite how clouded his mind was, Naruto managed to hold his breath long enough to lean against the wall to his right. He tried to limit how many breaths he tried to take, but the harder he tried, the harder it became for him to walk along the wall. Naruto didn't want to think about dying, but he left as if his lungs were going to give out and his heart was going to follow soon after.

Naruto somehow managed to get to his bedroom and slam the door in one clumsy motion before he fell to his knees. His perception of time and the world around him was distorted. Seconds and minutes were hours upon hours. The blond barely dropped his backpack beside his bed before he weakly dug out a kunai from his weapons pouch. He had to make it stop; he had to make the world around him stop spinning for a second. Naruto eventually stumbled his way into the bathroom before shutting and locking the door in one motion. After turning on the dim light, the dizziness was too much for Naruto to handle.

The blond collapsed onto his knees beside the small bathtub and managed to prop himself up against the outer wall. Naruto slowed his breathing, but he was still inhaling too much air. He knew it, but he still felt like he was not getting enough oxygen. The blond managed to pull up the sleeve of his jacket to his elbow before he held his breath again, trying one last time to calm his breathing. After a few moments, however, he was back gasping for air.

Naruto had no idea when he slid the kunai across his forearm, nor how he managed to hold it firmly in his hand. He didn't feel it, and it wasn't calming him down like it should've been. The blond gasped out a small curse as he pressed down the kunai and slid it harder against his arm just under the first bleeding gash. Nothing happened that time either; he was still gasping for air. Tears formed in Naruto's eyes as his vision started getting darker. His body went into autopilot, repeating the same action five more times before his arm went completely limp and the kunai in his hand dropped the floor.

Naruto was barely conscious when his body seemed to fall against the floor he sat up against. He heard and felt his head impact the tile floor under his limp body, but there was no pain. The blond was physically exhausted and his breathing wasn't slowing down. In a last attempt to snuff the tidal waves of dread, Naruto managed to slip his kunai back into his hand. When the blond went to make another cut, he used every bit of energy he had left to slid the sharp point across his skin. Despite the blood seeping through his skin and the long, angry red gash that was deeper than the rest, he felt nothing at all.

Naruto could only lay there in the last thirty seconds of consciousness as he watched his blood pool from his mutilated arm. His blue eyes could only watch as blood slowly seep through his open wounds and onto the cold floor. Naruto felt the tension leave his body as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. There were no thoughts left in the blond's head as he blacked out on the bathroom floor. For the first time in over two years, he went too far.

The moment Naruto blacked out, the entire village felt something take over. It may've been the suddenly cold and stormy air that made even shinobi get the chills, but for some, like Kakashi, it was panic inducing. The gray-haired jonin felt his heart stop for a moment. He knew the dread he felt all too well; something was wrong. It felt the same as it had before when he found Naruto passed out in his apartment a few years prior. He had a few more days left in the hospital, but that meant nothing to him. His physical condition was irrelevant when it came to his students or friends; he had to investigate.

Kakashi managed to sneak out of the hospital with ease. The gray-haired jonin zipped across the rooftops as he raced towards Naruto's apartment. He sensed someone following him, and when he looked over his shoulder, he saw Jiraiya catching up to him. The toad sage ran along side Kakashi once he caught up.

"What's going on?" the sage quickly asked.

"I have a feeling Naruto's in trouble," Kakashi stated firmly.

With that, the two made their way to his apartment door after dropping from the roof. Jiraiya knocked on the door while Kakashi examined all the windows to see if they were locked. The toad sage heard nothing from inside the apartment when he pressed his ear against the door. Kakashi quickly discovered all the windows were locked and covered up, which put the sensei into autopilot. When he reached Jiraiya and waited while they knocked three more times, Kakashi's heart seemed to sink deeper.

After a solid minute of knocking, Kakashi busted the door down in one kick. The door seemed to shatter against the sudden force and fell to pieces. Kakashi and Jiraiya rushed into Naruto's apartment without a word between the two. Jiraiya turned the lights on while Kakashi glanced around the kitchen. Jiraiya did the same, but then made his way to Naruto's door, silently hoping the blond was just asleep and couldn't hear them.

"Naruto? Are you in there?"

No answer.

"Open the door, kid. It's Jiraiya and Kakashi," the toad sage called out in desperation.

Jiraiya cursed after a moment before opening the door. Kakashi was right behind him as they trailed into the blond's bedroom. To their dismay, they didn't see the blond. They noticed one of the pouches on his backpack still open and full of spare kunai. Kakashi could smell the blood in the air, but saw no signs in the room of an attack or any trace of blood. The jonin and sanin both stared in horror at the bathroom door in realization at the same time. There was no possible way Naruto wasn't on the other side of the door, and they both feared what was on the other side. Ultimately, it was Kakashi who tried to open the locked door. Dread wasn't a strong enough word to describe the feeling that seemed to take hold of the two shinobi. The door was locked, but Kakashi gave the knob a hard twist anyways in hopes it might pop open.

Kakashi slammed his shoulder harshly into the door as he turned the handle, and sure enough, he heard the knob click. He let out a heavy sigh as he pushed the door open. Kakashi could almost taste the smell of blood looming heavily in the air. His heart stopped when the door was wide open and he could see why the smell in the air was so intense.

Kakashi didn't want to believe his eyes. Naruto's skin had lost all color, all expect for the blood seeping from his arm. He knelt down in front of his student and quickly grabbed Naruto's hand that lay at the edge of the pool of blood. Jiraiya helped pull Naruto off his side and flat onto his back. Kakashi flipped Naruto's forearm to face the ceiling as Jiraiya knelt by Naruto's head. Jiraiya hovered over the boy before he started shaking Naruto's shoulders.

"Naruto? Naruto, can you hear me?" Jiraiya asked frantically.

Kakashi's heart stopped once he realized why Naruto was bleeding so heavily; he cut across not just one vein, but several. There was no way to stop the bleeding without medical treatment, and they needed to call for Tsunade. Kakashi quickly put Naruto's arm so he could summon Pakkun. When the miniature pug appeared, he was staring right at Naruto. His eyes widened as he looked at Kakashi and Jiraiya.

"Don't tell me..."

"Get Lady Tsunade," Kakashi stated darkly. "Kill anyone who gets in your way."

The pug left without a sound, quickly running out of the room and out of the apartment. Kakashi applied pressure to Naruto's arm and looked at Jiraiya. The sage was already checking his pulse, and when he did, his face fell. Jiraiya could only shake his head as he tried to shake Naruto awake one more time.

"Is he still with us?" Kakashi asked quickly.

Jiraiya nodded before he stated coldly, "Its weak, but he still has a pulse."

Kakashi let out a heavy sigh. "He hit several veins, maybe an artery."

"You don't think he..." Jiraiya's voice trailed off.

The gray-haired shinobi sighed and admitted, "I don't know, it's possible."

Jiraiya stared down at Naruto's pale face before he stated darkly, "This is my fault. I should've known it wasn't going to be a single slip up. I thought he was better."

Kakashi admitted lamely, "It's possible this mission sent him over the edge. I should've known this would happen if things went this bad."

The two stayed silent as they waited for Pakkun and Tsunade. They waited maybe five minutes before Kakashi heard footsteps from inside the apartment and what sounded like dog claws against the wooden floors. When the jonin looked up, he saw Tsunade and Pakkun rushing into Naruto's room and towards the bathroom right away. Kakashi watched the horrified Tsunade rush into the room and knelt down between Kakashi and Jiraiya In the background, Pakkun turned to guard the bedroom doorway to give the adults some space. The gray-haired jonin moved out of her way as she stared healing Naruto's arm.

Kakashi could see Tsunade's tears roll down her face as she poured her chakura into healing the blond boy lying before her. Jiraiya and Kakashi watched in silence as the color slowly returned to Naruto's skin. Kakashi knew about the argument they had, and he knew Tsunade didn't mean what she said about giving up on him. She was just tired of arguing, but not tired of caring and fighting to save him from himself. While the gray-haired shinobi knew that, he knew how Naruto would've taken it. It surprised Kakashi something hadn't happened sooner, and that hurt him most to think about.

After a few minutes, Tsunade stopped healing Naruto. She leaned over his chest to listen to his heart beat, and after a few moments of listening, she let out a sigh of relief. She started back on Naruto's deep wounds before she finally spoke.

"He's going to be fine," she stated quietly. "He hasn't been lying here for long; I don't think it was blood loss that caused him to pass out."

Kakashi thought for a moment as he tried to think of what would cause Naruto to pass out, but his thoughts were interrupted by a small groan. All eyes landed on Naruto's face as his dull blue eyes opened slightly.

"Naruto?" Jiraiya asked.

The blond blinked at him harshly before he muttered, "Master... I'm sorry."

Jiraiya shook his head and said softly, "You have nothing to be sorry about."

Tsunade cut in quietly, "Is this my fault?"

The blond teen looked at her before he replied quietly, "No... It's my fault."

Kakashi gave his student a somber look with his dark eye. Naruto wasn't a good liar, he never was. He didn't buy it, but he also didn't blame Tsunade for this. Her words were out of context, but Naruto didn't understand that. The gray-haired sensei knew Naruto didn't want to hurt her feelings, and so, he was lying through his teeth. Kakashi didn't blame him for lying; he would probably have done the same for Tsunade. Her words hurt him, and he couldn't hide it.

Kakashi looked at his blond student and noticed the dark look in his eyes. Naruto was holding back on them; his gaze was one of a child who was ready to be scolded. He should've talked with Naruto more before and after their missions. When Kakashi looked down at the floor, he noticed the bloody kunai right at Naruto's right side. He picked it up to realize only the edge of the kunai was covered in blood; not the handle. He really had cut too deep, Kakashi realized. What wasn't clear was if it was intentional or not. He'd have to wait to ask his questions, though.

In a matter of minutes, Tsunade had healed most of the cuts on his arm. When it came time to start asking questions, Kakashi decided to take on that burden.

"Naruto?" Kakashi asked quietly.

The blond looked at him with a tired gaze. "Yeah, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Are there any others?"

Naruto shook his head. "No, just those."

Kakashi could only nod limply before he looked at Tsunade.

Tsunade asked quietly, "Is there anything else we need to know about?"

The blond stayed silent for a moment before he replied, "No, there's nothing else."

Jiraiya and Tsunade helped the dazed blond sit up against the tub. They managed to get his arm into the tub before washing off his bloody arm. After washing his arm in soap, Naruto stayed propped up against the outside wall of the tub. Jiraiya and Tsunade looked at each other and then to Kakashi. They had to have a long conversation once they stepped away from Naruto; they couldn't make a move until they got all their facts together. All three adults knew Kakashi had the most experience dealing with issues like Naruto's and predict his mindset. Naruto wasn't clearly just going to open up about it right away, but he'd cave eventually in the right setting.

Tsunade took a deep breath before she said, "I'm not going to make you go to the hospital this time, but this can't keep happening."

The blond only nodded as he stared at the floor. Despite the fact Naruto was breathing and sitting right in front of them, he seemed lifeless. The gray-haired jonin didn't want to see his student in that state, and he didn't want to remember acting the same way on numerous occasions. This was the Naruto they wished they didn't have to see; the dark and broken part he always hid away under a thin layer of fake happiness and laughter. Naruto wasn't even trying to hide it in that moment; it was too much effort. Naruto knew he was caught and there was no point in lying about it just as well as Kakashi did.

Jiraiya cleared his throat before he said calmly, "C'mon, kid. Let's get you outta here."

The blond shrugged limply, almost like he were going to pass out again. Tsunade knit her bow for a moment before she tried to reach out and touch Naruto. That was a mistake, and before Kakashi could speak, Naruto had already flinched. Tsunade froze the moment she noticed it. The gray-haired shinobi hurt for her; she wasn't trying to hurt Naruto, but that also didn't mean he didn't doubt her considering what she said only days ago.

"Naruto, she's not going to hurt you," Jiraiya said gently. "I promise."

The teen thought for a moment before he shrugged, clearly too tired to put up a fight. He let out a sigh before Tsunade pressed her fingers against his neck. Naruto tensed up a bit, but otherwise didn't protest. It worried Kakashi, but Naruto did lose a bit of blood, and that could make him feel weak despite the fact Tsunade healed him as much as she could to make the bleeding stop. Tsunade seemed to focus on Naruto's face as she felt his pulse. She moved her hands after a few moments and let out a sigh.

"You've lost a lot of blood," Tsunade said calmly as he looked at Naruto's cloudy blue eyes. "Your body is in shock still. It's amazing you're awake at all."

Naruto just blinked at her as he leaned his head against the edge of the tub, clearly fighting to stay awake. Kakashi reached out to pat Naruto's head and paused as his hand hovered over the blond locks that resembled Kakashi's former sensei. Naruto didn't move, he just blinked slowly. Kakashi lightly stroked Naruto's hair as he noticed the blond's eyes close again. The jonin's heart almost stopped as he turned right to Tsunade. She just shook her head as she stood up to leave the room.

With that, Jiraiya and Kakashi carried Naruto's light body between the two of them out of the bloody bathroom. When they laid him on his bed, the two had to pause and stare at Naruto. He was extremely light despite his height and age.

"Is it just me or is he a little light?" Kakashi asked quietly.

Jiraiya gave him a knowing look before he said, "I was thinking the same thing."