It was now mid May. For two and a half weeks after the dance,
Remus Lupin rushed too and from his classes without stopping, spent all his
free time locked in his dormitory and the shrieking shack, and avoided the
dining hall completely, sneaking into the kitchens after hours with James's
invisibility cloak so that he could eat without being seen.
All this just to avoid Adriana and she had not made it easy. They had five classes together which was the hardest time of all to avoid her because she was determined that they talk. In fact, if it weren't for the Marauders making it impossible for her to approach him during classes, than he would definitely not have succeeded in avoiding her.
The night of the dance, when James and Sirius had come back to their room to find him lying on his bed in total despair, they had forced him to tell them what had happened. And he had. Omitting, of course, the part where Adriana was in love with James. Even after what had happened he couldn't betray her that way.
Now, Remus sat alone in his room, lying flat on his back and staring at the ceiling as if in a coma. The rest of Gryffindor was out in the Great Hall enjoying dinner. He wished he was there as he had skipped lunch and was starving, but he knew he couldn't have gone. Going would have meant facing her, and he just wasn't ready for that.
In the last two years of his friendship with Ri he had begun to realize that he had no chance in hell with her. Not only was she so completely gorgeous that she challenged Aphrodite in beauty, but she was brilliant and funny and ... perfect. He had liked to think that if it weren't for James he would be with her, but he could rarely convince himself of that dream, for there was a minor problem, and this one was something that he couldn't change. Remus Lupin was a werewolf, and how could he ever think it possible that someone as wonderful as Adriana could ever love a werewolf?
She didn't know of course. Few people did. The Marauders did, and Dumbledore, a select number of teachers and his parents knew too. But he had never told her. After all, werewolves were the cast-offs of the magic world. A danger to themselves and those around them, considered untrustworthy and evil. Most people despised and feared them.
He had always tried to keep his secret from people, fearing what would happen if ever someone found out. But people had found out; the Marauders. He could recall the day they had found out, how devastated he had been the instant they had told him they knew, because he had known that they would never want to be friends with a werewolf. But he had been wrong. Not only had they continued to be his friend, but they had become Animagus, able to transform into animals at will. Sirius had become Padfoot, a large dog that looked suspiciously like a Grim. James had become Prongs, a gigantic Stag. Together they had been able to keep a full grown werewolf under control. And then there was Peter, Peter had become Wormtail, a rat that was able to sneak into small places when needed. They were the best friends he had ever had.
But no matter how happy and surprised he had been about them accepting him, he would never believe him lucky enough to have that happen twice. Never would he believe that Adriana would accept him if she found out. And now he would never have a chance to find out, for how could he face her after what had happened?
Remus groaned and lifted his arm over his head so that it covered his eyes. How could he have been so stupid as to let himself lose control like that? He wasn't sure which had been harder, being her friend when she loved someone else, or not having her around at all. One thing was for sure though, with both situations he was left with the feeling that his heart was being ripped out and torn to shreds.
He shut his eyes, trying to block out the painful thoughts. It was no use to think about it, to regret it. What's done is done and he now had to live with the consequences. It was then, right when he was about to roll over on his bed that he heard a voice that made his heart stop and his face lose it's colour.
"Lupin?" Adriana had poked her head into his doorway and upon spotting him she stepped in like a mouse approaching a cat, closing the door with finality behind her. She looked just as she should with her hair colour as the only exception; it had streaks of yellow, orange, and red in it that made it look almost like flames as it was brushed so that it fanned around her face ending just above her shoulders. She was frowning, but did not look angry, more upset. Remus groaned as he turned to face her, unable to say anything.
"I thought I'd find you hiding up here," Ri slowly walked into the room, looking curiously around, she stopped walking when she reached the foot of his bed. He did not move a muscle, just lay there looking up at her. What was she doing here?
"What are you doing here Adriana? You shouldn't be here." His voice cracked and he could've died with the effort it took to speak to her. Seeing her hurt so much.
And now she looked close to tears. "You ignore me in class, you run from me in the hallways, and between you and those stupid friends of yours I can't even talk to you for a second!" He almost laughed out loud; his stupid friends included James after all. "How long are you planning on avoiding me for?" She put her hands on her hips and he looked away because he could not bear the confusion in her eyes.
"I'm not avoiding you," Remus whispered.
"BULL SHIT! Even now you're not looking at me." She was right. "Look at me Lupin." He obeyed. She was crying and it ached in his heart. "Why are you avoiding me?"
Remus couldn't help himself. He laughed. A cutting sarcastic laugh that made her start. He sat up on his bed. "You have to ask?" Adriana flushed. "Look, I think you should just leave ok? Just leave me alone." Those were the hardest things he had ever had to say, but he was afraid if she stayed in his room much longer he would die from the pain of it.
"No, not until you talk to me. We need to talk," she almost pleaded.
Remus stood up and started to walk past her, "then I'll leave." He had just reached the door when she stopped his heart for the second time that day.
"You're not going to walk away from me Lupin," she turned an inch as she spoke, and her next words were barely above a whisper but he heard them as clearly as if she had yelled. "If you do I'll ... I'll ... I'll tell everyone that you're a werewolf!"
He turned and looked at her in complete shock. His mouth opened and closed like a fish as he tried to get the words out. Without even asking the question she read it from his expression.
"Do you think I'm stupid? For three years I've known you and you're constant 'visits' home once a month were a pitiful excuse. I figured it out long ago." She waved her hand in front of her as if impatient to get to the real reason she was there.
"You never said anything," he spat out almost accusingly, walking back to his bed and sitting on the edge of it in complete and utter shock.
"Of course I didn't! You never told me and I figured that if you had wanted me to know you would've. I figured you'd trust me enough in time." But she was wrong, in a way. He had wanted her to know he just hadn't wanted the reaction that would follow. "But that's not the point," she stressed again, trying to get back to the reason she had come here. But he had too many questions.
"How did you –"
"Defense Against the Dark Arts is my favorite class Lupin; I've read the text books back to front a thousand times, even the chapters on werewolves. It wasn't hard to put two and two together."
A slight smile crossed his face, he was impressed. The smile instantly died when he remembered why she had come. "Alright," he said slowly, "you wanted to talk, than talk."
Now it was her turn to squirm. Adriana fidgeted resembling a fish out of water while she seemed to be trying to think of what she wanted to say. She looked him straight in the eye and he could not look away, "What you said at the dance was right." He had not been expecting that. "If I had known ... if you'd ever told me how you ... I never would have treated you like that, talking about James all the time ... if you had just told me."
Remus laughed and her brows drew together. He looked away from her. How could he have told her? How? When she was so in love with his best friend? He was startled from his thoughts when he felt his bed dip; she had sat down next to him.
"I don't want to lose you as a friend Lupin. Can't we just go back to how it was?" She looked so hopeful and sad that it was impossible for him to say no, but going back to how things were wasn't what he wanted. A small part of him, deep down, had believed that her being here now meant more than friendship. That part was shattered.
He nodded, not trusting his voice. Adriana broke into a wide grin and gave him a hug. "Good! I've missed you." Remus hugged her back, silently knowing that things could never go back to the way they were.
*Thanks for the reviews!!*
All this just to avoid Adriana and she had not made it easy. They had five classes together which was the hardest time of all to avoid her because she was determined that they talk. In fact, if it weren't for the Marauders making it impossible for her to approach him during classes, than he would definitely not have succeeded in avoiding her.
The night of the dance, when James and Sirius had come back to their room to find him lying on his bed in total despair, they had forced him to tell them what had happened. And he had. Omitting, of course, the part where Adriana was in love with James. Even after what had happened he couldn't betray her that way.
Now, Remus sat alone in his room, lying flat on his back and staring at the ceiling as if in a coma. The rest of Gryffindor was out in the Great Hall enjoying dinner. He wished he was there as he had skipped lunch and was starving, but he knew he couldn't have gone. Going would have meant facing her, and he just wasn't ready for that.
In the last two years of his friendship with Ri he had begun to realize that he had no chance in hell with her. Not only was she so completely gorgeous that she challenged Aphrodite in beauty, but she was brilliant and funny and ... perfect. He had liked to think that if it weren't for James he would be with her, but he could rarely convince himself of that dream, for there was a minor problem, and this one was something that he couldn't change. Remus Lupin was a werewolf, and how could he ever think it possible that someone as wonderful as Adriana could ever love a werewolf?
She didn't know of course. Few people did. The Marauders did, and Dumbledore, a select number of teachers and his parents knew too. But he had never told her. After all, werewolves were the cast-offs of the magic world. A danger to themselves and those around them, considered untrustworthy and evil. Most people despised and feared them.
He had always tried to keep his secret from people, fearing what would happen if ever someone found out. But people had found out; the Marauders. He could recall the day they had found out, how devastated he had been the instant they had told him they knew, because he had known that they would never want to be friends with a werewolf. But he had been wrong. Not only had they continued to be his friend, but they had become Animagus, able to transform into animals at will. Sirius had become Padfoot, a large dog that looked suspiciously like a Grim. James had become Prongs, a gigantic Stag. Together they had been able to keep a full grown werewolf under control. And then there was Peter, Peter had become Wormtail, a rat that was able to sneak into small places when needed. They were the best friends he had ever had.
But no matter how happy and surprised he had been about them accepting him, he would never believe him lucky enough to have that happen twice. Never would he believe that Adriana would accept him if she found out. And now he would never have a chance to find out, for how could he face her after what had happened?
Remus groaned and lifted his arm over his head so that it covered his eyes. How could he have been so stupid as to let himself lose control like that? He wasn't sure which had been harder, being her friend when she loved someone else, or not having her around at all. One thing was for sure though, with both situations he was left with the feeling that his heart was being ripped out and torn to shreds.
He shut his eyes, trying to block out the painful thoughts. It was no use to think about it, to regret it. What's done is done and he now had to live with the consequences. It was then, right when he was about to roll over on his bed that he heard a voice that made his heart stop and his face lose it's colour.
"Lupin?" Adriana had poked her head into his doorway and upon spotting him she stepped in like a mouse approaching a cat, closing the door with finality behind her. She looked just as she should with her hair colour as the only exception; it had streaks of yellow, orange, and red in it that made it look almost like flames as it was brushed so that it fanned around her face ending just above her shoulders. She was frowning, but did not look angry, more upset. Remus groaned as he turned to face her, unable to say anything.
"I thought I'd find you hiding up here," Ri slowly walked into the room, looking curiously around, she stopped walking when she reached the foot of his bed. He did not move a muscle, just lay there looking up at her. What was she doing here?
"What are you doing here Adriana? You shouldn't be here." His voice cracked and he could've died with the effort it took to speak to her. Seeing her hurt so much.
And now she looked close to tears. "You ignore me in class, you run from me in the hallways, and between you and those stupid friends of yours I can't even talk to you for a second!" He almost laughed out loud; his stupid friends included James after all. "How long are you planning on avoiding me for?" She put her hands on her hips and he looked away because he could not bear the confusion in her eyes.
"I'm not avoiding you," Remus whispered.
"BULL SHIT! Even now you're not looking at me." She was right. "Look at me Lupin." He obeyed. She was crying and it ached in his heart. "Why are you avoiding me?"
Remus couldn't help himself. He laughed. A cutting sarcastic laugh that made her start. He sat up on his bed. "You have to ask?" Adriana flushed. "Look, I think you should just leave ok? Just leave me alone." Those were the hardest things he had ever had to say, but he was afraid if she stayed in his room much longer he would die from the pain of it.
"No, not until you talk to me. We need to talk," she almost pleaded.
Remus stood up and started to walk past her, "then I'll leave." He had just reached the door when she stopped his heart for the second time that day.
"You're not going to walk away from me Lupin," she turned an inch as she spoke, and her next words were barely above a whisper but he heard them as clearly as if she had yelled. "If you do I'll ... I'll ... I'll tell everyone that you're a werewolf!"
He turned and looked at her in complete shock. His mouth opened and closed like a fish as he tried to get the words out. Without even asking the question she read it from his expression.
"Do you think I'm stupid? For three years I've known you and you're constant 'visits' home once a month were a pitiful excuse. I figured it out long ago." She waved her hand in front of her as if impatient to get to the real reason she was there.
"You never said anything," he spat out almost accusingly, walking back to his bed and sitting on the edge of it in complete and utter shock.
"Of course I didn't! You never told me and I figured that if you had wanted me to know you would've. I figured you'd trust me enough in time." But she was wrong, in a way. He had wanted her to know he just hadn't wanted the reaction that would follow. "But that's not the point," she stressed again, trying to get back to the reason she had come here. But he had too many questions.
"How did you –"
"Defense Against the Dark Arts is my favorite class Lupin; I've read the text books back to front a thousand times, even the chapters on werewolves. It wasn't hard to put two and two together."
A slight smile crossed his face, he was impressed. The smile instantly died when he remembered why she had come. "Alright," he said slowly, "you wanted to talk, than talk."
Now it was her turn to squirm. Adriana fidgeted resembling a fish out of water while she seemed to be trying to think of what she wanted to say. She looked him straight in the eye and he could not look away, "What you said at the dance was right." He had not been expecting that. "If I had known ... if you'd ever told me how you ... I never would have treated you like that, talking about James all the time ... if you had just told me."
Remus laughed and her brows drew together. He looked away from her. How could he have told her? How? When she was so in love with his best friend? He was startled from his thoughts when he felt his bed dip; she had sat down next to him.
"I don't want to lose you as a friend Lupin. Can't we just go back to how it was?" She looked so hopeful and sad that it was impossible for him to say no, but going back to how things were wasn't what he wanted. A small part of him, deep down, had believed that her being here now meant more than friendship. That part was shattered.
He nodded, not trusting his voice. Adriana broke into a wide grin and gave him a hug. "Good! I've missed you." Remus hugged her back, silently knowing that things could never go back to the way they were.
*Thanks for the reviews!!*