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From Ch 1...

For two months straight, she'd go home after an emotionally draining day working these cases and cry herself to sleep. She lost weight, the lack of proper sleep had her irritable and her concentration was completely shot. These cases were going to be the death of her.

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Ch 2

First of all, she had been defending an officer accused child abuse; A Marine Sergeant Major and his own child; his six-year-old son. Harm was prosecuting and seeing Harm's gentle manner with the little boy during questioning had understandably shaken her. She tried telling herself that she was protecting Harm's right to have a son of his own, someday, but her heart kept pointing out that she would love to be the person to give Harm what he had always wanted, had only ever contemplated having children with him. As expected, she lost the case, but Mac was beyond caring. It wasn't as if she hadn't done everything in her power to help her client, but justice was served, in the end. The details of the case still gave her nightmares, though. Nightmares of her own violent childhood, intermingled with some horrifying details thought up by her own twisted subconscious imagination.

Once that was over, she was summoned to Fort Bragg, NC to investigate a mishap that had killed a young female lieutenant. Most of the interviewing was done with one of the lieutenant's fellow officers, who, she soon learned, had watched her from afar for most of their time there (and Mac later learned from the woman's journals, that the feeling was mutual.) By the time that negligence and cover-ups by a commanding officer had been uncovered, Mac had seen the depth of the officers' love for each other. Yet they had both (for many reasons, apart from regulations) stopped themselves from acting upon it. It had taken a tragedy like this to even get the male lieutenant to say it aloud…Mac tried to tell herself that her and Harm's circumstances were far different from those of the two lieutenants.

Finally, Mac was given a case that really put her through the wringer. She was summoned early one early-autumn Saturday morning to the naval yard at Norfolk, where operations had ground to a halt upon an unusual and heart-breaking discovery. After Mac had shown her id at the gate and proceeded to park, she was met by a young ensign and escorted to where the USS Stennis was supposed to be leaving port today. That would be delayed for a few days, so that Mac could question the officers who had made the discovery, soon after daybreak, this morning. Mac fought to keep her Marine façade in place and her legs actually shook as she crouched down to lift the white sheet up. As if the tiny shrouded figure didn't looked bad enough, this impossibly small figure in a pink baby-grow was infinitely more heartbreaking. The coroner told her that the child had been alive when she had been left, but succumb to the harsh elements soon before the naval personnel discovered her. One thing was clear and it grated on Mac's self-control; This little baby girl had been abandoned here sometime last night, while there were fewer chances of her being discovered. Whether this was intentional or not never registered with Mac, her heart was bleeding for this tiny scrap of humanity who deserved so much more than what she had received in her short life.

After conducting some interviews and setting some more up for the next day, Mac hurried home so that she could shower and change before she left for the Roberts' house. It was Jimmy Roberts' birthday today and as loath as she felt about going (The murdered baby girl had left her feeling queasy and very emotionally raw,) she just couldn't let her Godchildren down.

When she arrived, she was the last one to get there, but was no more than an hour and a half late. Jimmy and Little AJ were delighted to see her and she spent a couple of minutes watching them as they and their friends indulged in a game of 'musical bumps.'

She felt marginally more cheerful, although her heart stung a bit when she saw Harm helping Harriet carry food for the banquet out of the kitchen and to the tables that had been set out in the yard. Now, Mac couldn't help but allow herself to think about how much she wanted a life with him; a life filled with love, laughter and little-ones…

Harm caught sight of her and gave her a little smile. He then turned around and followed Harriet back inside. Bud was now helping the hired clown to keep the kids entertained with balloon animals. Little AJ, however, looked like he was contemplating leading a rebellion against what he saw as 'little-kids-stuff.' When he tired of the organized fun, he took off in search of his Uncle Harm. Mac went to help Bud get all of the kids sitting down in an orderly manner to watch the clown, away from where the food was still being set up.

Little AJ presently appeared out of the house again, without his Uncle and Godfather, but with someone else. Mac watched as he held Nikki Roberts by the hands and encouraged her to walk in front of him. They had managed shakily down the steps of the front porch, but once in the yard, the terrain was even more arduous for the little girl. Mac had set off soon after catching sight of them, to go and retrieve Nikki, when Harm emerged from the back-doorway. He was just in time to see Nikki stumble on something and lurch forwards, falling so fast AJ lost his grip on her hands. Her forehead impacted with the grass and even though she was not physically hurt, she was shaken enough to let out a piercing cry. Harm hurried over and Mac thought her heart was about to catapult into her mouth, when he lifted the crying child into his arms and held her close, as he gently rocked her. She knew she should probably let Bud know what had happened, as he had no less than four children hanging off him at the moment and had not seen the accident, but she couldn't tear her gaze from Harm and the little girl crying against his shoulder. His lips were moving softly as he comforted her and kissed her baby-soft face. Mac could swear she felt her ovaries jump…

Eventually, Harriet came running from inside the house and took over comforting her daughter, but Mac stood watching long after Harm had relinquished her. The image was burned onto the inside of her eyelids.

"It's okay, Ma'am," Bud finally broke her out of her reverie, "she'll be fine. She's not as steady on her feet as her twin brother, but she'll get there. She's every bit as stubborn and tenacious as her Mother!"

Mac smiled and nodded, going to where everything was now nearly ready for the children's tea party. They took the ceram-wrap off all of the dishes and platters, then let the kids wire in, while they munched their own meal, at a table close by. Harriet still had Nikki in her arms and Bud's brother, Mikey, had Nikki's twin; his namesake, Michael.

She exchanged gazes with Harm every now and then, but mostly tried to keep her eyes off him. If she didn't, she knew all of her resolve concerning him would go out of the window.

When the party was over, she kissed all of her Godchildren goodbye, thanked Bud and Harriet and walked out to her car. Being the last to get there, it was also the furthest from the house. She was glad of the privacy and sat for a short while in the driver's seat, trying to get herself together. She'd never felt closer to crying, not even on the dock, that morning. She knew it would be a different matter when she got home and got ready for bed. Crying herself to sleep was a regular occurrence, these days. She may be a marine, but she had just seen a vision of all that she wanted with Harm, knowing that it would be wrong of her to pursue it, not when she knew it could never possibly happen. It hurt, to love that deeply, yet still deny oneself. Mac knew her heart would never quite be the same again.

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