Never Without You

by Arch-Nemesis

COMPLETED: Legolas and Haldir must keep their relationship a secret, but what happens when Legolas' father decide that's it time for him to marry and to produce an heir? mpreg,AU, slash, OOC

3. Thinking back

Never without you

Chapter 3: Thinking back

Pairings: Legolas/Haldir

Disclaimer: I don't own so don't ask

WARNING: This is about male/male relationships. If you have a problem with that then I suggest that you go elsewhere.

Notes: Whoa! I am delighted with the outcome so far {nods head}. BTW, the Elves of Middle-earth did not leave for the Undying Lands. I found it way to sad to write that in.

Again this is not beta-read, so please excuse any and all errors made ^_~

To answer some questions:

~Zoe: I'm sorry that you're feeling lost but yes you're right it is like a summary so far the real action hasn't started yet. Please be patient everything will fall into place ^_~

~Lady of Legolas: Well, yes and no, but wait until Thranduil finds about Legolas and Haldir it's not going to be pretty. Something happened that {that I'm not telling} will make everyone understands why Thranduil is acting the way he is acting.

~Ryou'sMistress265: You're right Galadriel is worried about that among other things that will have everyone on edge. Read on and find out what ^_~

I would also like to thank everyone for reviewing: ~*~Linweseregon~*~Vuaryn~*~louise_oblique~*~Monsoon~*~Triptych~*~kiki~*~Ealhswith of Skye~*~

Now, enough of my chatter on with the story. Enjoy!

/ Thoughts /

:: Mind speak/Telepathy ::

{{ Elvish }} still learning. Most will be in English.

~oOo@oOo~

-TA 3020, January

The royal party from Mirkwood entered the borders of the Golden-forest. Legolas rode quietly behind his father, King Thranduil. The Elf lord was thrilled about the upcoming events. However, he was not inclined to the company that he had to endure especially one Elf in particular.

Legolas knew his father was up to something and that alone was enough to scare the young Elf. They traveled to Caras Galadhon for the month long celebration that Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel was hosting. It had been well over a year since the defeat of the Dark Lord Sauron.

Legolas sighed. He wasn't happy about the fact that the Marchwarden was not present to greet him and his father, but that was good thing because Thranduil went out of his way to make Haldir feel less than someone of his stature. However, Rúmil and Orophin greeted them to represent Lórien.

Galadriel welcomed them with opened arms when they had entered the throne room. She softly whispered into the prince's mind so that no one else could hear when she embraced him.

::Haldir will be back late tonight:: She pulled away smiling.

After they were shown to their rooms, they joined in the festivities that were all ready in progress. The Prince of Mirkwood returned to his room for some peace and quiet. The noise of the celebration was stifling his senses. He couldn't understand why the royal family wanted to hold the first night's feast indoors. Even his father had departed for his room as well.

Legolas stood on the balcony of his room feeling the wind against his face. His cheeks lightly tinted pink from the cold air but he was not chilled.

The young Elf closed his eyes remembering back to when he thought that he had lost his love.

~ Flashback ~

-Helm's Deep

{{Na Barad! Na Barad! Haldir! Na Barad!}} Aragorn yelled above the thunder of noise of the battle.

The silver haired Elf gave a brief nod as he hacked his way threw Uru-hai. His quiver of arrows long since dried out.

{{Na Barad!}} He called to his remaining Elf troops but he wasn't able to make it back to the keep. A Uruk pierced his armor.

Haldir swayed as he plunged his sword into his attacker. Another Uruk came from behind to deliver the final blow when Aragorn intercepted the strike, but the Marchwarden still went down from the searing pain and blood loss. Aragorn caught him before he hit the muddy wet ground.

In the distance Legolas had lost sight of his lover. He couldn't let his mind wander as he fought back a wave of nausea. He surfed down a flight of stone stairs on a shield picking off Uruk-hai with lightening quick arrows. At the bottom he unsheathe his twin blades making his way to the Keep until he had looked up and spotted Aragorn holding a fallen Elf.

Legolas recognized the scarlet cape. "NO!"

Aragorn froze when he heard the shout. He caught Rúmil's eye and signaled for the guardian to grab hold of the prince. Legolas shout again, "NOOOO!!! HALDIR!!! RÚMIL LET GO!!! ARAGORN, DON'T DO THIS TO ME!!! HAL-DIR!!!"

The battle ended a week later with the arrival of Gandalf. He was accompanied by Éomer and his army. The stench of death hung heavily in the air around Helm's Deep. It strangled the remaining souls who were trying to find their loved ones amidst the chaos.

Gandalf examined Legolas (at Aragorn's request) to confirm his original discovery. Their young Elf was not doing well.

"He saw Haldir die in your arms. The grief alone will consume him until he's nothing more than a shell of his former self," the white wizard said in a low voice. "But that is not the problem. You were right with your first assumption, Aragorn."

He exhaled slowly. "I was afraid of that. This does not bode well for the Fellowship," the future king replied.

Gandalf had a haunting look on his weather beaten face.

"Well just don't sit there keeping us in the dark," Gimli growled. He was just as worried about the Elf as the rest of them.

The group knew of the Prince and the Marchwarden's relationship except for the Hobbits, and obviously Rúmil and Orophin knew too, but that was not the problem. The problem was not only was Legolas and Haldir married they were bonded as well.

Thranduil had forbidden the union of the same gender in Mirkwood for the mere fact that no heirs would be produce, but the king was hiding a family secret from his son.

"Legolas is with child-" Gandalf was abruptly cut off. "Please, arguing over this will not help him. Legolas doesn't know. How it stands now with Haldir's death I fear for the child and Legolas' life."

The room was taken aback. "How?" Gimli choked out. He did not want to loose his new friend.

Gandalf rose from his position at the table to stand next to the window. The early morning sun was peeking over the mountain ridges. The red hues indicated much blood that was splashed a cross the land. The sky was filled with black smoke from the pits that were dug to burn the bodies (except for the Elves) fallen in battle.

"Long ago the Elves of Mirkwood were one of many to be revered as the most beautiful of all woodland Elves even today they are regarded as such. A wizard who loved to visit with woodland Elves was traveling through the forest of Mirkwood when he came a cross a young Elf.

The Elf was crying upon a rock near a stream in the emerald forest. The wizard asked what was wrong. 'I have falling in love with another but my Ada had forbidden for us to be together.' When he asked why the young Elf replied, 'for neither I nor my beloved can sire heirs for our kingdoms.'

The wizard understood the young Elf's dilemma. He then said, 'I can aid you in your plight but the sacrifice will be great. So, I will give you one day to think upon this.' Well, after the time limit was up the Elf returned with his answer. The old wizard cast a spell that would allow the Elf to bare children." Gandalf took a breather. "As it turned out the Elf was the young prince of Mirkwood."

"What was the sacrifice?" Gimli asked entranced by the tale.

Gandalf laughed as he blew out a puff of smoke. "That was the funny part about this tale. You see for every conception there was a possibility that there would be more than one child and if the child should be male he would be able to conceive. So, naturally all the males in the royal line will be able to produce an heir should he take a male as a mate."

Aragorn and Gimli stared at the white wizard slacked jaw. "Oh, by the Valar Gandalf! That means. . .it means that Legolas could be carrying twins." The wizard said nothing. He inhaled more smoke from his pipe. "Do you have any idea what this would do to him?" Aragorn pointed out.

There was nothing else to do except wait and see how Legolas' condition progress. Gandalf knew one thing that Aragorn didn't, Legolas would loose the baby regardless if he survived the grief of Haldir's death for he had lost his will to live.

Legolas woke-up a few days later. He felt extremely tired. His heart felt heavy as if a huge void had opened. The prince turned over onto his side and cried for his lost love unaware of stormy grey eyes watching his every move.

~ End flashback ~

The young woodland Elf sighed as a knock on his door brought him back to the present.

"Enter!" he gently called not turning around to greet his visitor. He wasn't really in the mood to entertain company.

"Now, Your Highness, that is no way to greet someone who has traveled all day and part of the night to be by your side."

Legolas whirled around to stare into silver orbs. His heart fluttered as his stomach dropped. Tears sprang from brilliant blue eyes. "Haldir!"

The Marchwarden was at the prince's side in a few strides. They hug each other then Legolas pushed him away. "How dare you come here at this later hour?" It was half past twelve.

Haldir was not bothered by the outburst and gathered the young Elf in his arms again. "I would not have rested well knowing that my beloved was a breath away," he confessed. He tilted Legolas' chin up captured his soft pink lips.

A few hours later Legolas woke. He looked out of the window to see that it was still dark outside. Legolas then looked at the sleeping form of his husband. A frown marred his delicate features. This should not have happened. As much a he wanted to be with his mate he should not have allowed Haldir to stay.

The discovery of them being together like this was too high. His father was a few doors down the hall and he would sometimes call upon him, and with him shouting the Marchwarden's name during their coupling was incredibly stupid of him.

The young prince had gone against his father's wishes and mated with an Elf of a lesser stature, and to further complicate matters he was bonded to a male Elf.

He had a vague suspicion that it had to do with what happened after Helm's Deep.

~ Flashback ~

The group now traveled in the stillness of night trying to catch-up then with Sam and Frodo. They knew that Merry and Pippin were in safe hands. However, this particular night Aragorn could no longer maintain the façade of his friend's health. Legolas, usually light and nimble on his feet, now staggered and stumble from time to time, this was not the normal grace of the Elven prince. The Ranger had ordered for camp to be made at the next clearing.

He sided next to the wood-Elf. {{You need to rest,}} Aragorn said speaking Elvish.

{{Nay, I am fine.}}

{{Nay, you are not. You have not eaten or slept properly since Rohan. You are sick far too often not to keep up your strength. If you do not start taking better care of yourself I fear that you will fade to the Halls of Mandos. Haldir would not want you to do that.}}

Legolas lost all his resolve when Aragorn said his husband's name. He let his tears flow freely. Aragorn did the only thing that he could do as a friend he held the trembling Elf. Legolas wrapped his arms around Aragorn slightly squeezing him in his embrace.

A flurry of words tumbled from the blonde, {{Our bond is fading, Aragon.}} The heir of Islidur said nothing. {{A part of me is slipping away with it.}} Legolas continued.

His tears slowed reduced to short hiccoughs. Pulling away somewhat Aragorn said, {{Haldir will be fine especially since his brothers are taking him back home to the Lord and Lady. Fear not my friend. It will take a while for him to recover.}}

{{If you had not killed that Uruk-hai when you did-}} Legolas broke off, his tears sprang anew.

{{Shh, I know. I thought that he was no longer among the living too, but enough of that my friend. Please go and rest.}}

Aragorn gave one last reassuring hug and took first watch. Gimli had a fire blazing cooking their waning supply of food as best as he could without charring it. Gandalf sat near the roaring fire smoking his pipe.

Legolas tossed and turned on his bedroll. He felt uneasy aside from his aches and pains. He got up walking to the edge of camp passing the watchful Ranger, scanning through the thicket of trees for any signs of danger.

Aragorn came up behind him, "What do you see?" he whispered.

"Nothing, though I sense that something is out there. . .watching." Legolas inclined his head. He quickly plucked an arrow and cocked it toward the area where he was looking.

Aragorn swiftly turned to the camp alerting Gimli and Gandalf to be on their guard. In the moment a band of men with raise arrows and swords rushed the remaining fellowship. There surrounded.

"We mean you no harm. We only wish to share your company this night," one man announced loudly. The group of men had lowered their weapons as a show of good faith. However, the man was staring at Legolas with a hungered look.

Aragorn caught the look. He slowly eased his hand to the hilt of Nasil. The future king as well as the prince was getting a bad feeling from the leader.

"Of course but we must discuss this among ourselves first," Aragorn answered tightening his grip.

However the Istari answered before they could group together. "You are more than welcomed to stay provided that you stay keep to yourselves," Gandalf offered, not wanting to cause a scene.

{{Nay, Gandalf, they mean us harm,}} Legolas began. {{We should send them on their way.}}

{{Legolas is right. They should not tarry.}} Aragorn had agreed.

{{Then we must be on our guard,}} the wizard replied.

{{Nothing good will come of this Gandalf,}} Legolas said as he stormed off. His stomach was getting the better of him again. He was upset with his friend. He knew that all men were not trust worthy.

~*~*~

Aragorn and Gandalf informed Gimli what they had decided. The dwarf wasn't too pleased about the decision but complied. Legolas was feeling sick to his stomach again and sought refuge in the trees before he threw-up in front of everyone.

The prince had found a small clearing not far away from camp. He had just settled down when he heard a twig snapped. He quickly spun around only to have the air knocked out of lungs. His attacker was on top of him. Hands roamed over his sensitive chest then traveled down to the juncture between his legs.

"So you are no female as I had originally thought, but that's okay you are still pretty enough to do what I may," the man breathe in his ear.

Legolas fought back. No other has the right to touch him in such a way. "You must not do this," he pleaded.

"I can and I shall. It's been a long time since I laid with a whore male or female."

The man bit down on the prince's neck marking him. He pinched tender nipples not noticing the clear fluid that oozed from them.

Legolas screamed out from the pain. He knew that his chest was sensitive and had avoided touching them himself but this, this was pure torture. He managed to flip the man onto his back before he untied the lacing to his leggings, but as soon as he stood Legolas crumbled to the grass with a strangled yelp.

The strike to his stomach was numbing. His insides felt twisted and tangled, Legolas was now gripping mid-section.

Legolas' head spin as he tried to bite back the rise of bile in his throat when his attacker slapped him. A hand covered his mouth while other one divested him of his clothes. Legolas felt the unwanted invasion to his backside.

"Ahh, you are a worthy prize to be claimed," the man purred. "You will be mine to be use over and over," he said accenting each word with his thrusts.

"NO!" Legolas cried. "I shall never be yours!"

The man ignored the Elf. His length hit the spot deep within Legolas causing him to shutter with each hurtful stroke. Right before he reached completion, the man stopped suddenly when cold steel touched his exposed throat.

"Make another move and I'll cut you down."

Legolas recognize the voice. "Aragorn," he weakly called out.

"Get up nice and slow," the Ranger commanded.

The man pulled out of the prince. Legolas whimpered. What Aragorn saw next sent him into an uncontrollable rage. Legolas was completely exposed. Blood were on the inside of smooth pale thighs mingled with white creamy liquid. There was blood trickling along the side of thin pink lips. A bruise on his cheek had turned black and purple against his fair skin. The worse bruise was on the slightly round tummy on the side that was an angry red.

Aragorn could barely contain his anger. He wanted to kill this vile creature for tainting something as pure as an Elf, but he didn't. Aragorn swung back and punched him effectively knocking him unconscious.

Kneeling next to his friend, Aragorn placed his hand on the bulge. "Legolas I need to check how bad your injury is. Tell me if this hurts?" he asked gently pressing around his stomach.

Legolas sucked up some air and nodded. "It hurts so much Aragorn." Tears were flowing down his face. "Why does it hurt?"

Aragorn was torn. Curse the white wizard. Gandalf didn't want Legolas to know about the child for fear of him leaving the Fellowship but now there was no choice.

"I'm sorry my friend, I should have told you."

"Told me what?"

Aragorn saw the fear in the prince's azure eyes. "You are with child Legolas," Aragorn whispered.

The Elf ceased movement momentarily as his eyes expended. "You jest with me. I am male. How can I be with child?"

"'Tis true. I would not toy about something as thus. You are carrying Haldir's child."

Legolas mind screamed. "Aragorn. . ." he couldn't finished what he was saying. He began crying again.

"Haldir obvious does not know?"

"How. . .how c-could he? Wh-when I just found out," Legolas barked. Now it all made prefect sense to him. The headaches, the backaches, the nausea. He was pregnant, and at the worse possible time.

"I am sorry. First I must get you back to Gandalf then we will deal with him."

"Ahhh!" Legolas cried out as Aragorn lifted him from the cold grass.

It didn't take long for them to reach the camp. Aragorn quickly explained what happened. Gimli went off to the clearing where Aragorn left Legolas' attacker. He was going to make sure that that bastard would not hurt any else again.

~*~*~

Three hours had passed then two more before Gandalf emerge from the tent that the group of men had erected for their leader. His pristine white robes were soiled with blood. He quietly made his way to the nearby lake with the Ranger behind him.

Gimli took post just outside the tent to make sure that nothing disturbs his Elf friend.

"What happened Gandalf? Is he all right?" Aragorn inquired, trailing behind the white wizard.

Gandalf stepped into the water until it reached his chest, but said nothing until he was back on land dripping wet his robes once again white.

"Legolas will be fine. He is young and will recover after a day or two of rest. His Elven healing ability has all ready began mending the damage."

Aragorn listened not interrupting. "At Legolas' request he wishes for none us to speak of this."

"What about Haldir? He has a right to know that his is going to be a Father!" Aragorn nearly shouted. He couldn't believe that his friend was going to keep this knowledge from his husband, but Gandalf said the one word that changed it all.

"Was."

"W-what?" Aragorn choked.

"I said, 'Was'. I could not save them."

"Them?" Aragorn said slightly confused. His heart was beating to loudly in his ears to have heard Gandalf right.

The Istari clarified. "Legolas was carrying twins-"

Aragorn didn't even wait to hear the rest. He sprinted back to camp. If Legolas nearly stop living when he thought that Haldir was dead, what was he going to do for losing his children?

~ End flashback ~

Legolas closed his eyes trying to keep his tears from falling. He did survive only with the thought that he would be reunited with his love. He laid next to his mate repositioning himself against the perfectly sculptured body. He just wished that he could tell his father. However, that was not an option.

Thranduil was known for his cutting words when it concerned the prince. Numerous of times the king had sent suitors away. Legolas knew his father. How was Thranduil going to handle him being mated to the guardian?

Haldir stirred a little. His steel orbs vacant proof that he was in the elven dreamscape. Legolas snuggled close to him securely wrapping his arm across his lover's expansive hairless chest. Maybe soon he will tell his Ada about their relationship but for now he was going to enjoy all the delights of being with his husband.

~ TBC ~

{{Na Barad! Na Barad! Haldir! Na Barad!}} "To the Keep! To the Keep! Haldir! To the Keep!"

A/N: Well, can anyone see what's going on? Tell me your thoughts and any suggestions that you might have.

Nemesis ^_~