Chapter Two

After they drag Anakin away, I continue to linger there on the street with Dormé and Captain Typho, unsure of what I should do with myself. It feels like I'm living in a dream. I'm numb and lost and I've never felt more alone. Just that previous morning, I was a respected senator putting forth bold motions on the Senate floor that would serve to check the Supreme Chancellor's growing power. Today, I had been mere moments away from becoming a hunted fugitive along with the man who had murdered him in cold blood. What a difference one planet rotation makes…

Gradually, I become aware of Dormé nudging me forward, winding me through the milling sea of official personnel back towards the senate complex. "Come along," she urges me gently, as if I'm a small child, "We should get you back inside, away from the gawkers."

I'm only vaguely aware of Captain Typho trailing behind us as I shuffle along beside her obediently. I hardly give any thought to the onlookers peering down at me from the safety and solitude of their private balconies. Everything seems so pointless to me now. There is really no need to hang back further now that Anakin has been arrested and taken away. I'm not even sure if I when I will see him again or if I will see him again. I don't know much of anything anymore.

By the time we make it back to the senate complex, all I really want to do is to seek refuge in my apartment, climb into my bed and hide away from the world. But as we approach the elevator that will lead me to sanctuary, I catch sight of Bail Organa loitering near the entry, and I know won't be finding solitude any time soon. He's already rushing to close the distance between us before I've even begun to mentally prepare myself for his approach.

"I suppose you've heard the news already," he rushes out in lieu of a greeting when he reaches me.

"Yes. I know the Chancellor is dead," I inform him in a hollow tone.

Bail surveys me with a mixture of wariness, suspicion, and concern while Dormé and Captain Typho respectfully take their leave to afford us privacy. They don't go far, but distance themselves enough so that they are out of earshot of our conversation. Despite that, Bail lowers his tone to a vibrating whisper when he next addresses me.

"Is it true what I'm hearing that Anakin Skywalker may have been involved in his death?"

"It is true that he is suspected," I reply cryptically, "I cannot say anything more than that."

"Padmé, I understand that you and Skywalker are…close," he begins diplomatically, "but, given the circumstances, it would be foolish of you to harbor him. He should be handed over to the proper authorities."

"You have nothing to fear on that front," I tell him thickly, "Anakin was arrested a short while ago." I don't share in his sighing expulsion of relief and I'm sure that doesn't escape his notice. Rather than offering an explanation on the reason behind my subdued reaction, I ask him, "What exactly have you heard about what happened last night?"

"That he assassinated the Chancellor at the Jedi Council's behest. And, as a result of his actions, the Jedi have been declared enemies of the Republic."

"Is that what you truly believe, Bail?" I retort with some degree of impatience.

It enrages me to know that is the narrative is already being shaped for public consumption and Palpatine has been dead less than an entire planetary rotation. While I stand by my conviction that Anakin's actions had been reckless and shortsighted, I hold no illusions about why he did it. Sheev Palpatine has been dismantling the Galactic Republic piece by piece over the course of an entire decade. Reviewing his rise to power in hindsight, it's glaring to consider how he maneuvered matters to amass greater control of the Senate, the courts, the military for himself, starting with his seemingly prudent advice to me to enter a vote of "no confidence" against Chancellor Finis Valorum when I had been young, naïve queen. He had been using us all as pawns from the very start, and none of us had been the wiser.

And now he was dead. The Galaxy had been rid of a very great threat. But unfortunately, the Galaxy at large was unaware of how much of a threat he had been. From their perspective, their devoted and beloved chancellor had been cut down cruelly by a rogue Jedi, betrayed by a promising young man for whom he'd held a special affection. I understood very well how little patience and respect Anakin had for politics and politicians in general, but what he had done, regardless of whether he had been right to do it or not, had created a public relations nightmare.

I look at Bail now and it's obvious that he's struggling with the narrative himself. He is wrestling mightily with what he knows of the Chancellor and what he knows of the Jedi and trying desperately to reconcile how any of that knowledge could have ended in murder. I know he's probably coming to a myriad of conclusions right now and, most likely, they are all of the wrong ones. That suspicion is confirmed with his next words to me.

Bail steps closer, tossing a furtive glance about us before he whispers, "I realize that several of us held valid concerns about the Chancellor's growing power and dwindling oversight in the Senate, but surely not so much that we would be compelled to arrange his death. Tell me that is true, Padmé."

Sensing the underlying allegation in his tone, I rear back from him with an offended huff. "What are you implying, Bail?"

"I'm not accusing you of anything," he reassures me, "I'm trying understand how this all came about." When I continue to glare at him mutinously, he sighs, "Perhaps it would be better if we didn't have this conversation out in the open this way. Mon and the others are waiting."

"If you imagine that I'm going to confess to something so that you might entrap me…"

"We are your friends, Padmé. We only have your best interests at heart! We want to help you!"

"By accusing me of arranging Chancellor Palpatine's assassination?" I hiss in affront, "That doesn't seem very friendly to me, Bail! I refuse to be put on trial in my own home!"

"Padmé, be reasonable. You cannot deny how this looks," he reasons in a gentle tone, "especially in light of the rumors we've heard regarding the…the intimate nature of your relationship with Anakin Skywalker."

Though I can feel hot color suffusing my face with what he has left unspoken, I raise my chin with regal authority, nonetheless. "I realize that these are uncertain times, but the Delegation of 2000 is not entitled to know the details of my personal life! And neither are you!"

"Perhaps not," he murmurs, "But, as I said before, your friends would like to help you." Though I say nothing in return, my expression must soften to a degree because he gently plucks me by the elbow and begins leading me towards the elevator. "Please, come with me. We have much to discuss."

After I'm done nodding a silent dismissal to Captain Typho and Dormé, I allow Bail to lead me back to my apartment where, true to his word, Mon Motha and a small group of four others, all members of the Delegation of 2000, are anxiously awaiting our arrival. Their haggard faces register varying degrees of tension and fear as I step into the sitting room with Bail at my side. I check the reflexive action to glance away in shame when I enter, but instead meet all their gazes directly as they each rise to their feet in mute greeting.

"Is it true?" Mon bursts out anxiously when no one else seems incline to begin, "Did the Jedi truly arrange for the Chancellor's assassination?"

"Do you realize how ridiculous you sound, Mon? No formal charges have been filed," I tell her mildly, "What happened to innocent until proven guilty?"

"We have no need for that sort of political doublespeak here, Padmé," she replies, "Please, tell us the truth. I know the Jedi held the same concerns that we did regarding the Chancellor. Did they order him to be killed?"

"Of course not! Does that even sound like the Jedi way at all?" I swallow hard, feeling as if the words are being ripped from me when I confess in a strangled whisper, "If Anakin is guilty then you can rest assured that he acted alone."

Bail expels a heavy sigh following my response. "Anakin Skywalker was also once a Jedi, so what else were we to think, Padmé?"

"Don't be so quick to judge him!" I cry, "Has it occurred to you that maybe you don't have all of the facts yet?"

"Do you?" Senator Fang Zar asks before I've even completed the lamentation, "Did you know what he was planning? Is that the reason you brought him back with you to Coruscant?"

Fang Zar is a pragmatic man and had been one of the founding members of the delegation. He doesn't easily shrink back from adversity and is a man of principle. I greatly admire him. In fact, this small group of ours that has gradually grown with the support of many others, was his brainchild. I helped him bring it into reality, but Fang Zar had been the first to suggest that we take steps to curb Palpatine's increasing influence in the Senate. And he had voiced that opinion well before Anakin had given me that cryptic warning not to trust my old advisor. I know that the current circumstances must certainly appear grim then if he's unnerved.

"I knew that he believed that the Chancellor was evil and that he needed to be stopped," I confess hoarsely, dropping my eyes, "But I didn't know any details about what he may or may not have planned."

Bana Breemu, a young Senator from the Humbarine sector is quick to level allegations at me following that admission. "So, you conspired with him then!"

"I said that I knew of his plans, not that I supported them or encouraged him! Whatever Anakin did or did not do last night, it was because he felt like he had no choice!"

Though I don't come right out and confirm outright that Anakin murdered the Chancellor, it is evident that they've already drawn their own conclusions especially with my determination to defend his theoretical actions. A stunned gasp ripples through the small, congregated group and they begin to murmur amongst themselves, fearful of how they might be indirectly affected. While Mon does her level best to soothe their rampant fears, Bail advises me not to say anything further on the matter, for fear I might implicate myself in Anakin's crimes.

"Crimes?" I utter in dismay and frustration, "Really, Bail? Are we truly going to pretend like none of us in this room harbored grave suspicions against Sheev Palpatine? You cannot deny that, by his actions, Anakin has liberated the Republic!"

"The same way he 'liberated' Tatooine when he had Jabba the Hutt murdered?" Bana sneers, "Don't think we haven't heard the stories about him, Padmé! What were you thinking? It appears that you've taken up with a common thug!"

"I would be very careful with my words, Bana," I warn her coolly, "You don't know anything about him. So, it would serve you well to keep your opinions to yourself!"

I'm surprised to find myself defending Anakin's actions when, just an hour ago, I had been making the very same arguments that they were making now. I'd been adamant that what he had done was wrong and indefensible…or so I thought. The truth is, I know his motivations, his reasonings and the deep-seeded fears that had driven him to such drastic action. They do not. And I won't allow them to sit in judgment of him, not when they barely have an inkling of the man Sheev Palpatine had truly been or the complete hell that Anakin had endured at his hands.

"Fine!" Bana retorts in a tight voice, "Then allow us to stick with the facts! The facts are that Anakin Skywalker murdered the Chancellor last night!"

"Allegedly," I intone flatly, "He has yet to be convicted of any crime or even formally charged. And again, let us not act as if Palpatine wasn't a danger to the Republic! He needed to be removed."

"I won't deny that! But we were seeking to oust him!" Bana snaps at me, "Not kill him, Padmé!"

Senator Nee Alavar, a Lorrdian from the Kanz sector and a shrewd interpreter of unspoken motive, quietly follows up Bana's anxieties with her own concerns. "Padmé, I understand that you care deeply for this young man," she says softly, "That is evident in how ardently you fight on his behalf. But you must see how his actions have imperiled us all. Bana is being hysterical, but she is not wrong. We will all look like co-conspirators in this plot due to our association with you and your association with him!"

"What exactly are you asking me, Nee?"

"How much did you know and when did you know it?"

"I didn't plan any of this with him if that's what you're thinking, and I didn't bring him back to Coruscant for that purpose at all!"

Affording Anakin with greater access to Palpatine had never been my intention. The thought had never even entered my mind. However, I'm beginning to wonder if it had been Anakin's intention. Had he agreed to accompany me to Coruscant because he had wanted us to spend more time together or had he harbored ulterior motives? He had claimed the former when he finally said yes to my proposal, and I hadn't sensed any deception in him at that time nor had he been overly distracted or secretive these past two days.

On the contrary, he had seemed sincere in his devotion to me, albeit melancholy and introspective at times. But not once had I doubted that I commanded his full attention because the entire time he made me feel as if I were the center of his entire world. Now, I can't be sure if his tender regard had been genuine or born of artifice. My heart screams an emphatic "no," cannot even fathom the possibility that he could be so duplicitous with me. But my logical mind won't allow me to be carried away on sentiment alone. Clearly, Anakin had been nursing an alternate agenda the entire time, otherwise none of us would be standing here right now.

I can't help but feel like I've been taken for a fool. Everything I thought I knew only a single planetary rotation ago is now being called into question. I can no longer trust my own judgment. And I can hardly reassure them of anything when I don't feel sure or secure myself.

As if she senses my growing disquietude and seeks to comfort me, Mon steps forward and places a steadying hand on my shoulder. "Our intention isn't to make you feel attacked, Padmé. This isn't meant to be an interrogation," she tells me gently, "but we've all risked our political careers and livelihoods to form this delegation. We made an agreement at the onset to be transparent with one another, but it appears that you haven't been completely honest with us."

I clench my jaw obstinately and shrug off her touch before sweeping an implacable glance across the worried faces surrounding me. "I told this to Bail earlier, and I will tell you all the same now," I declare with unyielding authority, "My relationship with Anakin Skywalker is none of your business. It has nothing to do with what we've created here."

"With all due respect, Padmé," Senator Fang Zar murmurs gently in reply, "you made it our business when you allowed that young man to assassinate Chancellor Palpatine."

"I didn't allow him to do anything, Fang!" I scoff with a humorless laugh, "Have you ever met Anakin? He bends to no one." Least of all me.

"Do you know why he did it?" Mon asks softly.

"I do. But they are his reasons to reveal. Not mine."

Before the group can pummel me with more questions on the subject, Bail quickly interjects, "We don't have time to quibble over the details. Mas Amedda will soon be convening an emergency session for the Senate. We must coordinate our response before then."

Bana sniffs disdainfully. "I will not be made to look like a conspirator to murder," she intones, turning to address me directly, "Padmé, you are my friend and colleague, but I joined this delegation to check Palpatine's power, not to kill him." She pauses and glances over at Bail. "Whatever 'coordinated response' you have planned, you can leave me out of it, Bail."

"No one is asking you to stand on my behalf, Bana," I reassure her softly, "I'm not asking that of any of you, and you have my word that I will not allow you to be implicated in what has happened. All I ask is that you do not allow what we've discussed here today to leave this room."

"What about you?" Mon asks, "What will you do, Padmé? You must know that it will kill your political career if you stand with him now."

"What choice do I have, Mon?" I wonder aloud, more to myself than to her, "I love him."

Shortly after they've gone, the news comes that the lockdown order has been lifted. I know that I have only a limited amount of time before the emergency session is officially called. A heavy weight of pure trepidation settles into the pit of my stomach when I think about standing before the Senate. It feels as if I'm about to face a public execution. Figuratively, that isn't very far from the truth. Mon is right. My political career is essentially dead now, or soon will be along with any noble aspirations I might have held for championing future reform. And that demise will be on display for all the Galaxy to witness.

"Oh, Anakin," I mutter to myself sorrowfully, "Why do you never think things through?"

It's rather ironic that the quality I admire about him the most, his brash and willful determination to face all challenges head on with his fists clenched for battle, is also the thing that makes me want to throttle him at this very moment. I should have known that he wouldn't simply stand back and wait for justice to be served to Palpatine, not when he firmly believed that type of justice didn't exist at all. Instead, he had spent more than a third of his lifetime creating his own brand of justice. I suppose it was a bit arrogant for me to expect that our budding relationship would change that for him.

And yet I had…because our relationship had certainly changed me.

I cannot pinpoint exactly when my resolve against loving Anakin Skywalker had weakened so thoroughly. Following that disastrous delegation with Jabba the Hutt and his last rejection of me, I had been determined never to make myself vulnerable to him again. He was controlling and arrogant and self-involved, not to mention impulsive and unpredictable. Any relationship with him would be doomed for disaster. He had done me favor by pushing me away…or so I told myself.

The truth was that I had been angry and hurt. I simply couldn't reconcile the agonizing struggle I endured trying to expel him from my heart with the relative ease he displayed when casting me from his. It seemed my feelings ran much deeper for him than his did for me. He never seemed conflicted about turning his back on the possibility of there being an us at all.

So, when the Chancellor initially made his suggestion that I should be the one to coordinate a peace agreement between Tatooine and the Republic, I had begged off from the assignment. I claimed that I had no time to devote to such a weighty task and offered suggestions for suitable candidates to take my place. But when I learned that Anakin had personally insisted on my presence, that was when I had outright refused to go. I had not wanted to see him at all, would have been content to never see his face again. If Palpatine's mild request hadn't become an executive order, I would not have agreed under any circumstances. As it was, my forced acquiesce came with unadulterated resentment.

Anakin hadn't been completely wrong when he accused me of bringing Rush Clovis along with me out of spite. A secret, petty part of me had wanted to make him jealous. My pride rebelled over being summoned by him like some unruly servant, especially so soon after he had pushed me away. I was weary of being driven by his whims. I was beyond tired of his games. I had wanted to hurt him, to wound his ego just as he had wounded mine. The fact that he had shown the sheer audacity to call me out on it outright only served to increase my irritation.

It had been satisfying to place him on the receiving end of rejection for a while. I had thoroughly relished having the control in our relationship for a change, to finally be the one to make the uncompromising demands. After all the constant emotional whiplash he had put me through, I would have gladly let Anakin twist for the entirety of my visit on Tatooine had it not been for his mother.

Shockingly enough, Shmi Skywalker wasn't the type of mother who was utterly blind to her children's faults. On the contrary, she held no delusions about the man Anakin was at all. She knew that her son was arrogant and stubborn and exasperating beyond measure, and she made no excuses for him. Shmi was also under no misconceptions that he was an easy man to love, and she freely acknowledged that to me. But she also maintained with earnest, heartfelt conviction that he was worthy of love.

"Be patient with him, Padmé," she had implored me, "Anakin adores you beyond reason. That has never been in question. His struggle has always been with whether he deserves to have your love in return."

I had softened considerably after that conversation with her and how could I not? Shmi had reminded me of what I'd always suspected about Anakin. He wasn't pushing me away to be cruel but because he was trying not to be, because he believed I deserved someone better than him. It was that stark reminder that washed away the remnants of my acrimony. My compassion and empathy had compelled me to seek him out and offer comfort when I knew he was grieving. But it had been my unquestionable love for him that had prompted me to stay.

That love has only grown more uncontainable in the days following, the physical intimacy between us only serving to deepen my feelings. I feel connected to him in every way imaginable and there isn't a single part of myself that I haven't given to him. Anakin owns it all now. My heart, my body, my future…they are all his for the taking. Sometime over the course of these past three days, everything that I am, my entire soul has become inextricably looped with his and now I cannot even imagine how to live without him. My greatest fear is that soon I will have to learn.

I make slow and plodding progress as I dress for the session. I take painstaking care with my hair and attire and make-up, determined to look my regal best. Despite the turmoil I feel, I will not let any of my fellow senators think they have broken or shamed me. I've done nothing for which I should be ashamed.

By the time I finally arrive at the Senate building I am a bundle of churning nerves. Though I am filled with untold dread, I am also eager to get this charade over with. I even bypass a stop at my office to gather myself and instead make a determined path straight for the Senate Rotunda. I can feel the curious stares of my colleagues on me the entire time, hear their furtive whispers and conjecture at my back as I pass by. I wither internally at their blistering judgment, but I make no outward show of it as I march through the halls with my head held high.

I'm so focused on the task ahead that I don't even notice Bail Organa's frantic approach until he is almost on top of me. Startled, I swivel to face him. "What is it, Bail?"

Rather than answering right away, Bail plucks me by my elbow and leads me over to a darkened corner, away from the rotunda entrance in a bid for privacy. "I wasn't sure you had heard the news," he tells me breathlessly when we've gained relative seclusion, "They just made the announcement on the Holonet. Anakin Skywalker has been officially charged with Chancellor Palpatine's murder."

The news is like a blow to the gut. It knocks the air from my lungs though it is not surprising. I've been awaiting the official announcement since the moment Anakin was arrested that morning. My entire world is literally crumbling around me, but I weather that emotional assault with a small sigh of rueful acknowledgement. After closing my eyes briefly and taking a moment to center myself, I make my quiet reply to Bail. The serenity in my tone belies the turmoil unfurling inside of me.

"I understand, Bail. Thank you for keeping me informed."

"What will you do now?"

"What can I do?" I counter in wooden tone, "It is in the Senate's hands now, isn't it?"

"You're just going to give up?" he balks.

"What else would you have me do?"

"You have options, Padmé! You can distance yourself from him," he urges me, "It's not too late! Renounce your relationship with Skywalker! Tell the Senate that you had no idea what he had planned!"

"Do you honestly think I could betray him that way?"

"Hasn't he betrayed you?" Bail counters.

I consider that question for a moment. It's true that Anakin has kept many secrets from me, but he has never lied to me about his objectives. He has always, much to my dismay, been disturbingly forthright about that. It was no secret that he planned to eliminate Palpatine, but I had believed that I could somehow intervene or change his mind before it came to that end. Anakin hadn't misled me into that false reasoning. That error in judgment had been mine alone.

"No, Bail," I reply softly after a beat, "Anakin didn't betray me. He's never hidden who he is from me."

"But you said yourself that you didn't agree with his methods, and you didn't encourage him to do what he did!" Bail hisses, his tone gravely urgent, "But that is exactly what they will think!"

"It doesn't matter. The damage to my reputation is already irreparable. The fact that I was involved with him at all is enough to condemn me in their eyes."

"You don't understand. They will call for your resignation, Padmé."

"I'm aware of that," I tell him, turning away from him and squaring my shoulders as if preparing for battle, "And I'm ready to face whatever comes next."