Hm…seems like this fic is pretty controversial eh? Varying degrees of hate/love…I suppose the nicer reviews serve as inspiration for my writing, but the especially critical ones help too. They make me want to write more (and better, of course), to see if I can overcome the criticisms. Anyways, review, review, review like always.

CH5: Reasons Why

Walking home from school, Shuuhei noticed that Ichigo was considerably quieter than he had been that morning. He opened his mouth as if to ask Ichigo why, but closed it when his communicator started ringing. He looked at it and found that it was nothing more than an audio transmission.
"Yo, Hisagi here," he answered gruffly.
"…Is that how you greet your superiors?" asked a cold voice that sent shivers down his back. He shuttered as he realized who he was talking to.
"I―Ise-fukutaichou…how are you today?" he asked in a stutter.
"Fine," she answered sourly, sending more shivers down his spine. "I'll make this short. Kyouraku-taichou has requested you return to Soul Society."
"W―What? I'm not finished with my mission yet!"
"Is that so? I expect he'll be rather…disappointed." She did not even bother to try and hide the displeasure and malice from her voice. She seemed to be in an especially bad mood today, and it was spreading quickly to Shuuhei.
"Gates are opening at your coordinates in 3…2…1…opened." Shuuhei blinked incredulously as the doors to Soul Society materialized in the middle of the street before the two men. "Hurry up, Hisagi-fukutaichou. Kyouraku says it is urgent." Without another word, the lieutenant on the other end of the line cut off the transmission.

Shuuhei looked over to Ichigo and saw him standing there dumbfounded. Ichigo deserved an explanation, he supposed.
"Yo Ichigo, I hafta go back to Soul Society for a bit. Take care of my gigai in the meantime." Shuuhei slid his hand into Ichigo's left pocket and rummaged around the boy's pocket until he found the shinigami badge.
"You could've just asked me for it…" said Ichigo sheepishly as his face turned a slight red. Shuuhei ignored him and slammed the badge into his chest and separated his soul from his gigai. Before his gigai could even crumple to the ground, Shuuhei had flash stepped through the gates and was well on his way back to Soul Society.

Re-entering Soul Society, Shuuhei realized that the gate was a direct passage gate to the 1st Division. Sighing, he ran up the stairs and into Kyouraku's office. Once inside, he found that the office was empty…but changed his mind when he heard a rummaging in the back of the room and decided that Kyouraku must not have heard him enter
"Kyouraku-tai―" but Shuuhei was cut off by a hand that had covered his mouth from behind.
"Don't…say…a word" whispered a very serious Kyouraku. Shuuhei nodded as he tried to pry the man's hand away from his mouth but suddenly felt a spinning sensation that shook him from head to toe. Opening his eyes, he found himself no longer inside Kyouraku's room. He was in front of Kyouraku's favorite bar.
"W―What? You called me back for this?"
"Well…yes! Nanao-chan hasn't given me any time to have a drink lately and it's all very tiring and so…I called you back on the pretense of having you do a mission report. But really, we're just going to have a damn good drinking session. I even got Ran-chan to come too!" laughed the man heartily. Standing back, Shuuhei found it hard to believe that this man was the commander-general…currently the most powerful being in Soul Society and in the whole world as well (besides God himself). Taking a good look at Kyouraku, Shuuhei sighed and nodded his head to agree to a little splurge on alcohol. After all, the man really did look like he needed it. On one hand, his physical appearance hadn't changed for the most part, except for a few aspects. The first notable changes were the scars: he had an 'X' scar on his left cheek and had multiple scars running up and down his arms (he was eerily similar to Yamamoto-taichou). His next change was that he had disposed of his pink robe after it was dyed a bright red from the blood of all the Arrancar he had killed. Now, he wore an extravagant gold robe, as if signifying his importance. What worried Shuuhei, though, was how Kyouraku as acting. He was twitching slightly, as if alcohol deprivation was taking its toll. He was also jittery, looking at every sound that was made. In essence, he was just a bundle of nerves going haywire. He needed alcohol and he needed it now.

The two walked in and sat down at a table and immediately began to enjoy hot sake. Outside, the sun was setting, leaving a fairly red-orange hue in the sky, fitting their mood perfectly. They sighed after gulping their first cup and sat back as they began the meaningless chatter that usually ensues hot sake.
"So…how's the candidate search coming?"
"Good, good."
"Anyone stand out in particular?"
"…Kurosaki Ichigo." Kyouraku took a large swig of sake after hearing his name mentioned. He sighed a bit as he spoke.
"You know…his father used to be a captain."
"Captain of what? Abusive Spouse Society?"
"Soul Society." Shuuhei blinked, then chuckled. He wasn't really surprised, partly due to the fact that the alcohol was slowing his reactions.
"But you know what?" continued Kyouraku. "He resigned his role as captain so that he could be with a human woman." Shuuhei sat and thought a bit.
"So who replaced him?"
"…Ichimaru Gin." Shuuhei flinched at hearing this name. Kyouraku saw his reaction and laughed. "Yeah…I never really trusted that man. In fact, me and Jyuushirou were one of the few who refused to recommend him. I even went so far as to beg Isshin to reconsider his resignation and resume his role as captain. I even went to Yama-ji and tried to get him to let Isshin be both captain and a married human. I even went…well I went through a lot of trouble. But in the end, it didn't work out, as you can see."

Kyouraku sighed as he sipped more sake.
"I can't say that I don't approve of Isshin's decision…in fact I think it was a pretty damn good one. If you fall in love, more power to ya!" he said as he chuckled. "But…but it's funny. The love he had for that woman…the love you have for your, other half, I suppose…it's supposed to be an unconditional love, right? It's s'posed to be like 'I love you no matter what' not 'I love you because…'" Shuuhei nodded, trying to decipher the man's message. "So I guess what I'm saying is, that in a sense, love's s'posed to be infinite, right?" Kyouraku took a large swig of sake before continuing. "So if it was so infinite, why'd it have to go and get so damn restricted? Why'd Yama-ji hafta to go and say 'No, you can't be both captain and human'. Heck, why'd they have to be two different beings in the first place? Why did God put so many damn complications between those two?"

Kyouraku sighed as he spoke the last line bitterly. He sipped more sake as he continued his rant. "There's that one saying, 'Till death do us part.' Does that mean that after you die, you stop loving? Why? Isn't love s'posed to be infinite?" Kyouraku spoke a little less bitterly now as he took on a tone of regret. "I…I felt bad for Isshin...'cause you know, his wife went and got killed by a hollow. Geez, a hollow of all things. Can you imagine the irony? How he gave up one thing so that he could have love, but in giving up that one thing, he had his love taken away? What a cruel world it is…" Shuuhei suddenly felt sympathetic for Ichigo's father.
"But…he seems to have recovered…" said Shuuhei as he recalled Isshin's various attempts at killing Ichigo.
"You cannot recover from pains of the heart…"
"…That was corny…"
"But it's true. Even when we gave him the shinigami badge after that hollow killed his wife…he couldn't bring himself to kill his wife in her hollow form. And he cried…cried hard, when he had to watch me, of all people, kill his hollowed-wife." Shuuhei looked at Kyouraku now and saw that the man looked at least 200 years older than his age. Stressful work in combination and painful memories…these two could take their toll on anyone, living or dead.

"I don't know where her soul is at the moment…but I imagine it'd be a nice surprise for Ichigo and Isshin if they could see her again, right?" Shuuhei sighed as he patted Kyouraku on the back sympathetically.
"It'll happen someday, yeah?" he chuckled as he got up to leave.
"What? You're leaving already? But we've only had 2 bottles…"
"I have to get back. It's a school night after all."
"Ah well…you can't technically 'get back' yet…"
"…Why's that?"
"I asked Rukia-chan to run a routine maintenance check on the gateway between worlds. It should be underway right now." Shuuhei muttered a curse out loud, but instead of sitting back down, he headed for the exit. "Aw, Shuuhei, don't be so pissed. Ran-chan hasn't even gotten here yet!"
"Tell her I said hi and everything," muttered Shuuhei as he stepped out into the cool night air. He had some people he wanted to see and talk to. First up would be at the 4th Division.

Unohana-taichou escorted Shuuhei to Komamura's room. Once inside, Shuuhei let out a silent gasp as he looked at the massive captain. Lying on top of a massive table that almost completely filled the hall he was being housed in, was the beastly form of Komamura. Surrounding his sleeping body were various kanji letters etched into the massive stone table, glowing brightly green. Shuuhei immediately recognized the setup as the most advanced healing procedure, and felt his guilt wrack his brain at seeing the wolf-man in such a serious condition. He approached Komamura slowly and stood leaning against the table, facing away from the body.
"I know you can't hear me right now…but I needed someone to talk to. Or rather, I needed someone to listen to me. I know you won't mind," chuckled Shuuhei as he looked through a window to see a full moon hanging high in the sky. "Lately, I've been wondering why I was so weak. And at first, I blamed it on my lack of training…but now, I'm beginning to think it's something else." Shuuhei muttered these words quickly, not caring if they were audible or not, he just needed Komamura's presence. "I don't know what I should do…what should I do to get stronger? What can I do?" He paused momentarily to look at the sleeping form, then turned away and continued talking. "At first, I convinced myself that if I could finish this mission, I would have some proof of my strength…" said Shuuhei slowly. "But now, I don't even know if I can finish the damn mission. That Ichigo is so damn stubborn…"

Komamura's hands shifted slightly. Surprised, Shuuhei turned around to see if Komamura was awake. He was astonished to find the captain laying there, eyes both open, staring intently at him. Komamura opened his mouth as if to say something, but shut it silently. Instead, he lifted his hand with great difficulty, and managed to point at Shuuhei's chest. Shuuhei sighed and nodded his head. He understood what Komamura meant."Yeah…I shouldn't blame Ichigo for my own weakness. But it's frustrating, y'know? How you try so hard to make someone see it your way, and yet the other guy just doesn't give a damn." Komamura let out a low growl as if to disagree. He dragged his hand up to his chest, and patted it there a few times.
"…Chest?" Komamura shook his head.
"…Body?" Komamura shook his head again.
"…Ribcage?" Komamura let out a loud growl.
"What are you trying to say?" asked Shuuhei frustrated. "Heart?" Komamura nodded. He now moved both hands to his chest and made an opening movement with them, as if trying to portray doors that opened out.
"Open my heart?" asked Shuuhei skeptically. Komamura nodded once more. "…You're a real corny bast―" Shuuhei stopped when Komamura's eyes changed into slits of anger. Finally, Komamura panted out a few words, despite his condition.
"Let…him…know…you…" he said inbetween gasps. After speaking, he closed his eyes. Shuuhei knew he was still awake, but got the message. Komamura had spoken and he wanted Shuuhei to take his advice and leave. There was no use asking him for clarification, because after all, he had made it as simple as possible.
"Thanks, Komamura-taichou."

Making sure he was out of earshot, Komamura sat up to look out the window at the bright moon.
"Good luck, Hisagi-kun."

Shuuhei's second stop was the 6th Division. He decided he wanted to pay a visit to someone who only knew Ichigo too well: Abarai Renji. Making sure his presence was unknown, he slipped quietly into Renji's office, only to find the man signing papers furiously.
"Well, well, Renji's actually working, eh?" laughed Shuuhei. Renji shot him a quick glance and grinned as he signed some more papers.
"I wouldn't be acting so high and mighty Shuuhei. These are your papers, after all. I could just leave them for you to sign when you get back." Shuuhei smirked as he bowed to Renji.
"Oh, have mercy on me Abarai-taichou. Please don't do something as harsh as that…" spoke Shuuhei sarcastically. Renji just laughed.
"So how's the mission going? Good, right? Otherwise, why would you be back so soon?"
"Well, Kyouraku-taichou called me back so I could share some sake with him…but truth is, I came to see you about my mission."
"What? You want me to take over that as well?"
"No, no. I just…I just wanted to ask you something." Renji lifted his eyebrow in suspicion. Why would Shuuhei be asking him something…after all, Shuuhei was at least 100 years his senior. "I wanted to ask you about Kurosaki Ichigo." Renji flinched upon the mention of this name.
"Looking for a way to beat him? Ain't no way possible, I'm telling you that right now."
"I wanted to ask you about the way he thinks." Renji blinked unbelievingly, and then let out a hearty laugh. "W­―What? Did I say something wrong?"
"No, no…" said Renji in between throes of laughter. "It's just that…Ichigo doesn't think, for the most part. He does what he wants and worries about what happens after, after." Shuuhei blinked as he tried to understand what Renji was saying. Renji sighed as he began to explain. "On a scale of 1-5, 5 being worst, how would you rate my temper?"
"6," answered Shuuhei quickly. Renji scowled at Shuuhei's sarcasm.
"Well, Ichigo is at least 15. Quick to anger, slow to think, he's bout as stupid as they come."
"He seems pretty damn smart in class…" said Shuuhei, remembering Ichigo's rank as number 3 in their class of 30.
"Yeah well, that's a different kind of smarts. What I'm talking about is responsibility." Shuuhei nodded in agreement and sighed. An irresponsible person wouldn't make a good captain after all.
"Guess I'll have to find another candidate…" sighed Shuuhei, dread and failure quelling up in his chest.
"N―Now wait a sec! Ichigo's a pretty damn good candidate…"
"But you just said he's irresponsible…"
"Irresponsible about himself! He doesn't give a shit about what happens to himself…so long as his friends, and probably his future subordinates as well, are safe."

Renji seemed especially defensive of Ichigo at the moment, making Shuuhei smirk.
"Well, that's a good quality in captains: selflessness," sighed Shuuhei as hope replaced his former dread.
"Damn right. Hell, he's got my recommendation if he becomes a candidate." Renji smiled as he thought of sparring with Ichigo, just like they used to. Shuuhei just smiled and left the room quietly, letting the captain stand and stare blankly out into the night at the bright moon.

Shuuhei's final destination was the 13th Division. He entered the division grounds and made his way to Rukia's compound. Upon arriving there, he found her kneeling elegantly on the porch area, two hands clasping a dainty cup of tea. She wore the kenseikan braids in her hair, a symbol of her leadership of the Kuchiki clan, as well as the dainty white gloves Byakuya-taichou had worn. She also wore the sleeveless, white captain's robe just as her brother did, and had an elegant white scarf adorned around her neck. He whistled as he took in the gracefulness of the scene, and approached her quietly. She looked at him in surprise, as if she wasn't expecting his company that night.
"Oh, Hisagi-fukutaichou! It's not often you come out to my division. To what do I owe this pleasure?" she asked in a fake voice.
"You can drop the voice…" Rukia blushed a little and nodded as she looked at a cherry blossom tree in the yard. She sipped her tea and watched the petals fall one by one, remembering a certain someone.
"Well, I'm here to get back to the human world of course…"
"The portal will be finished shortly."
"But I'm also here to ask you about…Ichigo." He said the boy's name gingerly, fearing he had opened up old wounds for Rukia. Much to his relief, she smiled.
"Ichigo...are you really considering making him a candidate?" Shuuhei nodded. Rukia smiled briefly. "So…what do you want to know?"
"I was just hoping if you had some insight on his way of thinking. I asked Renji and his answer was that Ichigo pretty much didn't think at all, except when it came to helping out his friends." Rukia suppressed a chuckle as she heard this.
"You had to ask Renji to figure that much out? I thought it would have been fairly obvious, seeing as how he broke into Soul Society, defeated 2 captains, and saved me from getting executed. And I haven't even mentioned the thousands of things he's done to help us during the Arrancar war…So what else is there to possibly know? He's a simple-minded fool whose family and friends come first."
"I wanted to know if there was someway to persuade him into accepting Soul Society's proposition." Rukia stopped sipping her tea and put her cup gently down on the wooden surface.
"Are you saying he hasn't accepted?"
"Well, not yet. He says he's considering it and all, but I just wanted to know if there was a surefire way to guarantee his cooperation."

Rukia and Shuuhei sat in silence for several minutes, both deep in thought. After several more minutes, Rukia asked Shuuhei a simple question.
"Do you know what you are asking Ichigo?"
"To become a candidate for captaincy in Soul Society," answered Shuuhei, puzzled by the simple question that required such a simple answer.
"No. I meant, do you know what you are asking of Ichigo. Do you know what you are asking Ichigo to do?"
"Yeah…I'm asking him to become a candidate, and eventually, a captain" answered Shuuhei impatiently. Rukia stared him in the eye and sighed heavily.

"You're asking him…to die."

Shuuhei blinked several times, not exactly understanding what Rukia meant.
"W―What do you mean?"
"Exactly what I said. You're asking Ichigo to die. By his own free will as well. You're asking Ichigo to give up all human desires so that he can appease Soul Society's desires."
"But how the hell can human desires even compare to how much Soul Society needs him? We're talking about the world here. The world needs a capable person like him to protect the balance between life and death."
"Don't lecture me on life and death, Hisagi…" spoke Rukia coldly now. In fact, the entire atmosphere around them began to get deathly frigid, dropping several degrees. Shuuhei had forgotten that with Hitsugaya gone, Rukia was the most adept ice-zanpakutou user. Her voice rang through the chilly air. "I know life and death just as well as you do, if not better." Her eyes glazed over momentarily as she stared blankly at the cherry blossom tree. Shuuhei understood what she meant. Rukia had suffered greatly during the Arrancar war, being forced to watch Byakuya die before her as she stood helplessly on the side and being forced to kill Ukitake-taichou who had been possessed and deranged by the Arrancars…Shuuhei respected her deeply. He hadn't meant to offend her, but he knew he was speaking the truth. She suddenly snapped out of her lapse in consciousness and continued speaking as if nothing happened.

"Ichigo…he became a shinigami to protect his family. He felt the desire, the reason to protect his family…and eventually, that reason came to include his friends too." Rukia touched her fingers to her cheek now, as if remembering how someone had held her there so many years ago. But when she turned to face Shuuhei, her face changed from blissful reverie to sorrow and remorse. "If he had felt the reason to protect the world was that important, he would've became a captain long ago. But as it is…he is not a captain, thank God. You simply cannot force someone to sacrifice themselves, even if for the greater good."
"But he's not sacrificing himself. He's still going to be alive…just in spirit form."
"…He's not sacrificing himself per se, but he's sacrificing a potentially happy future. A future where he could actually be what he wants to be. Now that I think about it, have you ever considered that he might want to be something else other than a captain? What makes you think being a captain is the ideal job, a job that everyone would want?"

Nothing really made Shuuhei think that. In fact, the job of captain was probably the least ideal job. Sure, you had respect and power, but what of the responsibilities? What of the dangerous battles? What of the damn paperwork? None of these prospects screamed 'happy job'!
"I…I see…" stammered Shuuhei as he bowed his head in shame. He suddenly realized how…selfish he had been. He had been trying so hard to accomplish his mission that he had completely disregarded the consequences. What kind of lieutenant did of that? A weak one, apparently. He choked back feelings of despair as he realized that in his effort to prove himself strong, he had once again proven himself weak-minded.
"Thanks, Rukia. Didn't know I was putting him in that kind of position…" Rukia smiled gently as Shuuhei walked towards the center of the courtyard. From her spot, Rukia clapped her hands together and summoned forth the gate to take Shuuhei back to the human world. Shuuhei bowed slightly to thank her and started to walk through the door, when Rukia stopped him halfway.
"Hisagi…you wanted to know how Ichigo thinks?" Shuuhei stopped, one foot anchored in Soul Society and the other adrift in the portal. He turned around and looked at Rukia. Her head was slightly bowed, as if she refused to make eye contact with him. "I can only think of one reason why anyone would be willing to die, and I'm sure Ichigo thinks this way too." Shuuhei lifted his eyebrow, wondering why Rukia would be telling him this after that lecture she had just given him.
"Ichigo would die for his friends and family. He would die, for lack of better words, for the ones he cared for." Shuuhei stared at the suddenly distant captain, who seemed so very fragile at that moment. Her voice seemed torn apart, as if her brain was pleading with her not to impart such valuable information, yet her conscience urged her to do otherwise. Shuuhei stood thoughtfully for a moment and finally picked his response carefully.
"That…that was…pretty cliché, Rukia," chuckled Shuuhei as he turned his back on her.
"Baka…" but Rukia couldn't finish scolding Shuuhei. His communicator started beeping and he flipped it open in an instant.
"Damn. Seems there's some hollows back at Ichigo's place" cursed Shuuhei as he ran through the portal without another word. Rukia scowled and made a motion to stand up and follow Shuuhei back to the human world, but sat back down. Worried as she was, she wasn't about to go back on her word.

"I'd wish you listened to others more, Hisagi…there's a lot that you would notice just by listening," sighed Rukia. Shuuhei's head suddenly popped back through the portal.
"But I do listen…" Rukia fell back in surprise, mouth hanging agape as she stared at the head floating in mid-air. He winked at her and let it fade into the portal as he shouted his last words.
"Could you do me a favor and not lift Ichigo's limit? I wanna try something." Rukia closed the portal with a wave of her hand. She wasn't the one in charge of limit lifting, but she supposed she could pass a message along.

As Rukia walked through the courtyard, taking in the breath-taking sight of a full moon, she picked up a cherry blossom that had fallen to the ground, almost completely intact. She leaned down to the ground and picked up a random petal and put it in the gap between the blossom's petals. Amazingly, it fit perfectly. A gentle breeze blew through her hair as it reminded her of something she forgot to tell Hisagi.
"You find friends in the people you least expect it…" she sighed as she remembered Ichigo, Ishida, Orihime, and Chad, all coming to her rescue, even though they had known her for such a limited time.
"…But when you realize that the person you least expect to be a friend, is indeed a friend…you realize that they're worth dying for as well. You'd die for them, out of care, I suppose…" Rukia gently clasped the complete blossom in her hand, as she thought of a better word choice. Care was too weak a word to associate with death.

"You'd die for them, out of love."

Satisfied at finding the right words, she brought the lone blossom into the building, and placed it before Byakuya and Hisana's altar.

TBC

In the last chapter, seems Orihime wasn't very well liked…guess I shouldn't have included her…I'll eventually go back and edit her part I guess.

Ahhh, I kid. Despite how some might like editing her out better, I find it hard to go back and completely reediting that portion of my fic…some might call it being stubborn/lazy, but I call it being strong-willed. I suppose it might please more readers to change it, but then again that'd be compromising my integrity and belief in my own plot.

Anyhow, R&R as always. It always energizing to find friendly reviews (this serves as the basic "happy" energy) and critical reviews as well (this is the awkward "discouraged yet at the same time inspired" energy).