I love you reviewers…you make me feel loved. Anyhow, I've been noticing that I haven't been putting enough actual ShuuheiXIchigo moments as of late…so sorry about that. But I promise you, major development between these two in this chapter. R&R and enjoy.

CH6: Shards of Fate

Shuuhei rushed to the point indicated on his communicator only to find that Ichigo had already gotten there first…and had disposed of the hollows as well. Sighing, as his plan had already failed before it even had a chance, he approached Ichigo from behind and took the younger boy in a playful headlock.
"…You took my kills you bastard. The least you could've done was wait…"
"You make it sound like I should've waited for them to rip open for a new asshole for me." Shuuhei laughed at Ichigo's…interesting choice of words. He let the boy free and patted the boy's hair warmly.
"Tch, I'm not a kid y'know," grumbled Ichigo.
"Compared to me, you're not even a baby. You're like an egg cell that just got sperminated." Shuuhei spoke the truth. The age gap between them was that immense, yet Shuuhei looked at most one year older than Ichigo.
"Yeah well, you act like a teen anyways, so no one would be able to tell the difference." Ichigo smirked as he looked at the shinigami's face. He had seen the face time and time again, but now was the first time that they had free time to talk about Shuuhei's scars and tattoo. "Oye, Shuuhei. Why'd you get a tattoo on your face?" asked Ichigo curiously.
"Geez, you're just like every other damn shinigami. It's not fucking sex-related."
"Well…I didn't say it was. I was just wondering what it meant."
"It's the level of Rukongai that I came from."
"Ah…I see." The two started walking back to Ichigo's house in silence. After a while, Ichigo started talking again, as if the silence unsettled him. "Yeah, I kinda assumed 69 was your lucky number or something…" Shuuhei stared at the other boy curiously. "My lucky number is 15…" added Ichigo lamely after waiting several moments for Shuuhei to respond.
"…You don't think I'm a sex freak or anything?"
"W―Why would I think that?" chuckled Ichigo nervously as he shuffled ahead a few steps. In truth, he had always suspected Shuuhei to be the sex freak/player type, but that was based on his devilishly good looks.
"Well most people see the '69' and automatically think sex."
"Why's that?"
"Well because, you know…'69'…the whole sex thing…" Ichigo stared at Shuuhei blankly, as if he had no idea what Shuuhei was talking about. "You know…'69'…geez, I don't know how much more clearer I can get." Ichigo still stared at him blankly. "It's like you have no idea what it means."
"It's a number…that comes after 68 and before 70. But I'm guessing it means more than that from what you're saying…" Now it was Shuuhei's turn to stare at Ichigo blankly.
"You donno what it means?"
"Is it s'posed to mean something?" Shuuhei stopped walking as he contemplated explaining the number and its origin to Ichigo but decided that he'd rather not corrupt the innocent boy.
"Y'know what? Just head back to the house without me. I need to go run a quick patrol. I'll be back in time for dinner." Ichigo's face was still vexed with curiosity over this special number but dropped it. He nodded as he waved a lazy hand at Shuuhei and flash stepped home. Shuuhei sighed, watching the boy disappear in an instant. He really had no idea that the boy was so…naïve. Although captains didn't exactly need to know that kind of knowledge, a small part of his brain was worried about how much the boy's naivety would impair his ability to lead a division.

Ichigo jumped through the second story window and landed lightly in his room. He walked over to his body on his bed and felt his spirit get reabsorbed back into the body. He sat up after regaining control of his body and started to get out of bed when his eyes drifted to Shuuhei's motionless gigai. Ichigo sat down next to it and examined the face. Part of his mind liked the face he saw now: clean, pure, and almost unmarred except for the long gray strip extending over the bridge of his nose. But another part of his mind liked the shinigami face more, with its scar and tattoo. The scar seemed to portray the tough-guy image and the tattoo seemed to depict Shuuhei's wild side, assuming the number '69' had the sexual implications Shuuhei had seemed to suggest it had. He poked and prodded the gigai, as if expecting the body to react, but wasn't surprised when there was no response. Bored, he got out of bed…but almost immediately got back in. A sudden curious thought had overtaken his mind and he was determined to satisfy his inquiring mind: did gigais have all the features of a human body? Sure, it had the hair, skin, hands, face, feet, muscles, abs, ass…etc. But did it have the essential feature? The feature that defined gender? Ichigo had never thought to ask anyone using a gigai before, and decided that now was as good a time as any other to find out, seeing as no one was around to stop him. Hands hesitant and reluctant, he reached for the crotch area and placed his hand slowly and gently down. At first contact, it seemed as if nothing was there. He urged himself to squeeze a bit to check, and found that there was still no sign of anything there. He retracted his hand gingerly and concluded that gigais didn't need the feature anyways. He stood up and walked through the door.

Only to walk back through the door again. This time, he slammed the door closed and locked it. Shuuhei went to the bathroom all the time, so he had to have the hunk of muscle there…right? Ichigo gulped as he forced himself closer to the motionless gigai. There was only one way to be positively sure. He undid the belt around Shuuhei's waist and undid the zipper reluctantly. He then opened the button and pulled the pants down a bit. Ichigo's breath sped up frantically now as he neared the last layer of defense that Shuuhei had. His hand crawled up the thin layer that was Shuuhei's boxer and let it creep further up until it reached the waistband. 'This…this is it…' said Ichigo inbetween deep breaths. 'It's not like I'm doing anything wrong…it's…it's biology after all…' said Ichigo as he reassured himself. 'Now or never…' shouted Ichigo to himself as he pulled the boxers all the way down.

Ichigo blushed. A bright red. A bright, bright red. He then covered his nose as a spurt of blood escaped. His suspicions confirmed, he dressed Shuuhei's gigai back up and got up to leave the room. As he went downstairs, two things bothered him in particular. First was that he had actually enjoyed doing what he just did. It just wasn't normal. Guys don't nosebleed at seeing other guys. Nor did guys get as…'provoked' as Ichigo did. In fact, he was pretty damn sure that guys were never supposed to get 'provoked' over other guys. It just wasn't natural. He sighed as he tried to calm his breathing down (and Little Ichigo as well) and entered the dining room. The second thing that bothered him wasn't so much a pang of conscience, but rather, a bit of…envy. Although he wasn't exactly sure, it seemed that the gigai was…a moderately decent size. It seemed slightly bigger than ordinary (basing ordinary on his own size), but in any event, the fact that an artificial body had a bigger penis than Ichigo was enough to spark an inferiority complex.

Ichigo entered the dining room and sat down at the table. Sighing slightly, he propped up his face with one of his hands as he changed his face from disappointment to boredom. That was when he noticed something was slightly awry…the table wasn't set. Sighing as he got up to set the table, he noticed something else that was slightly askew…Yuzu's cooking couldn't be smelt throughout the house. He walked into the kitchen and found it completely empty. It was relatively clean and showed no evidence of Yuzu having been in there at all that day. A little worried, Ichigo turned to run up the stairs to check if the sisters were even home, but stopped when he saw a note on the fridge. Plucking it off the appliance, he read the note to himself:

"Onii-san and…Onii-san #2! Otou-san, Karin-chan, and I have gone out to dinner (sushi…yum yum). We would've taken you guys too but you guys got didn't get home in time…oh well! Anyhow, I had originally planned to make oysters for dinner tonight but since I'm going out to dinner, why don't you two grill the oysters and eat it yourself? They're in the sink, cleaned and ready to be grilled. --Yuzu"

He cursed aloud for missing such this rare chance. He let out a frustrated yell as he kicked the refrigerator…then let out another yell, this time a yell of pain.
"The hell are you doing…" Ichigo stopped hopping around on his foot as he shuffled around on one foot to face Shuuhei. Shuuhei was back in his gigai and had disposed of his uniform and was stripped down to the basic shirt and boxers. Ichigo blushed slightly, recalling what he had learned just moments ago, then lost balance and fell forward. Shuuhei immediately stepped forward and caught him by the shoulders.
"You alright?" he asked gruffly. Ichigo looked up at Shuuhei, but suddenly felt ashamed and bowed his head…which turned out to be a worse choice, as his eyes lingered down to the slight bulge in Shuuhei's boxers.
"Of, of course I'm alright!" stammered Ichigo as he got back up on his feet and turned around to hide his beet red face. "The family went out to have sushi! So we're eating at home today!" shouted Ichigo, trying to cover up the embarrassment in his voice.
"Ah, damn…and I was in the mood for sushi too," sighed Shuuhei as he brushed past Ichigo to see what was in the sink. "Oh, hell yeah! We got oysters!" Shuuhei reached in and picked up the crate of oysters and ran out to the back yard as he started to set up the grill. Ichigo, still in a slight state of shock, just stared at the other man who was running back and forth, looking for trays, tongs, racks, and various other equipment.

He didn't know why, but at that moment, the world seemed to be perfect: a happy family, good grades in school…and Shuuhei. Sure, there were the occasional hollows, but they served to be good exercise and a source of entertainment. And sure, he had no idea what to make of his undeniable 'feelings' towards Shuuhei (was it friendship or was it, God forbid, lust?), he decided that he would have plenty of time to worry about that later. For the moment, he would appreciate the cool evening and enjoy a good dinner…that is if Shuuhei didn't overcook the oysters. The man was standing next to the grill and had lit a small fire, and now was squirting an entire bottle of lighter fluid into the flame, laughing crazily as the fire flared up. Ichigo chuckled to himself and decided that he had better stop Shuuhei before he blew the grill sky high.

The two sat underneath the awning in the backyard as they watched the last of the oysters on the grill rack sizzle and fizz above the open flame. Ichigo let out a soft sigh, followed by Shuuhei's hearty sigh. Simultaneously, they each slurped down their own oyster, customized to their individual tastes (lemon juice for Ichigo and hot sauce for Shuuhei). Grunting loudly, Shuuhei stood up and ran back into the kitchen, claming to get something else to eat. Ichigo just nodded and cast his shell aside as he dug his bare feet deeper into the cool grass. The feel of grass blades inbetween his toes tickled him a bit and he let out a soft laugh. It really had been a long time since he last ate in the backyard and an even longer time since he last had used the grill. Heck, it had been a long time since he last had oysters for dinner, and he supposed it had been an eternity since he last had a peaceful dinner with just one other person. It suddenly struck Ichigo as odd that he was thinking all these sentimental thoughts. But then again, after all that had happened in the last few months, from meeting Rukia, to going to Soul Society to save Rukia, to fighting the Arrancar, Ichigo supposed that the free time to contemplate his life was a welcome change. Sighing as he put on a content grin, he turned to see what was taking Shuuhei so long. Shuuhei was walking through the door at that very moment, a bottle of unknown content wedged into a bucket of ice in hand.
"What's that?" asked Ichigo, although he had a good idea what it was.
"Sake," answered Shuuhei. Ichigo scowled at him.
"I'm underage y'know…"
"Didn't say you had to drink any."
"Tch…fine."

The two sat quietly, each one hesitating to start a conversation. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of silence, Shuuhei started to chuckle aloud.
"This always happens," he said as his chuckle died down.
"What happens?"
"This. Every time it's just the two of us. We say a few words here and there, but then we eventually end up sitting on our asses not saying anything." Ichigo blinked a few times and chuckled as well. This always happened. From the day Shuuhei had moved into Ichigo's room, to the walks to and from school, the two had always exchanged the bare minimum of words.
"It's 'cause you're so damn boring," said Ichigo loudly, suddenly forgetting his hesitation.
"Hah, takes one to know one," laughed Shuuhei as he threw Ichigo an oyster. Ichigo juggled the hot shell back and forth between his hands and cursed aloud as it landed on his foot.
"Damn bastard…" muttered Ichigo as he squeezed lemon juice onto the oyster flesh and swallowed it whole in one gulp. Shuuhei just continued laughing as he opened the chilled bottle of sake.
"…Am I really that boring?" asked Shuuhei seriously after taking a long swig of sake.
"Yeah well, all you ever do is talk about captain this and captain that. The one time you didn't talk about captains was when you were talking about a mission. Either way, it's always job related." Shuuhei stared at the boy and grinned slightly as he took another drink.
"I guess it's all I got to live for, yeah?"
"Well that's a crap life," said Ichigo as he sat up straight and nodded his head decisively.
"What about you then? You don't even speak unless spoken too. At least I got something I can talk about."
"I do got stuff to talk about…" grumbled an irritated Ichigo.
"Yeah? Talk to me then," challenged Shuuhei as he sat down in front of Ichigo now, face to face. Shuuhei smirked when Ichigo refused to make eye contact wit him. "Ah, I think I know why you got such a stiff lip. You needa warm up, that's all!" laughed Shuuhei as he held Ichigo's chin up and poured sake into his open mouth.
"I'M UNDERAGE DAMN IT!" he sputtered aloud after swallowing.
"So why'd you swallow…"
"I…I…" stuttered Ichigo as he tried to think of an excuse.
"Cause it tastes damn good, right? Thought so," laughed Shuuhei as he stuffed the lip of the bottle into Ichigo's mouth and tipped it up so that the sake gushed forth into his mouth. Ichigo swallowed once more and wiped the liquid off his lip as he yelled at Shuuhei again.
"Ah, shut up Ichigo. You know you like it," chuckled Shuuhei as he took a long drink from the bottle. Ichigo didn't answer. Shuuhei looked over and saw that the boy was laying sprawled on his back. He leaned over and saw that the boy's eyes were slightly glazed over and his face was turning a deep red, both signs that he was drunk. His eyelids drooped low and showed signs of falling asleep at any moment.
"Tch…you have low tolerance for alcohol, eh?" sighed Shuuhei. "Well it's all good. I'd rather you listen to me quietly than talk back." Ichigo groaned in response.

Shuuhei sat next to Ichigo, alternating between giving himself a drink and giving Ichigo a drink. After pouring a little more sake into Ichigo's mouth, Shuuhei decided that the boy was inebriated enough to just lie there and listen.
"Y'know, you've caused me a lotta trouble these past few months," said Shuuhei as he sat with his knees drawn up to his chest. "First making me chase after you and your friends after breaking into the Sereitei…then making me cover up for all your rash decisions during your battles with the Arrancar…and now this. You're a lotta trouble." Ichigo shifted slightly in his drunken daze as he crawled closer to Shuuhei. Shuuhei made no attempt to push him away, and instead kept talking. "I wonder if you're really worth all the trouble."
"I…I am…" groaned Ichigo inbetween hiccups.
"Still awake? Damn…no sake left for ya. Oh well."
"I am…I am worth the trouble," groaned Ichigo aloud as he gripped at Shuuhei's shoulder to get up onto his ass.
"Heh, what makes you say that?" asked Shuuhei as he stared ay the dying flame in the grill.
"Because…because I like you," said Ichigo as he slung one arm around Shuuhei's back. Shuuhei let out a soft laugh but didn't push Ichigo away.
"You're really drunk aren't you…" Ichigo nodded dumbly as he hugged Shuuhei close. Shuuhei still didn't push Ichigo away. And he didn't know why. Why was he letting the boy get so close to him?
"Y'know…I was just thinking about how…how perfect my life is right now…" sighed Ichigo as he swooned back and forth. "I mean…sure I'm confused…about you, that is…but hell, I can't complain can I? I got…got everything I want…" said Ichigo as he slurred countless words together.
"Confused about what?"
"About…about why you're…so damn sexxxy…but you're a guy. Guys don't like guys…" Shuuhei chuckled as he patted Ichigo's bright orange hair. It was hard to believe that the boy sitting next to him had killed so many, and yet was so innocent.
"It's called being gay."
"Really now…so I'm being gay?" asked Ichigo as he drifted between consciousness and sleep.
"Yeah…" said Shuuhei. Suddenly, Ichigo's hand slid up Shuuhei's chest to his chin and turned Shuuhei to face Ichigo. The moon seemed to shine brighter at that moment, and it revealed the soft complexion of Ichigo's face. Shuuhei's breath got shorter and quicker as his eyes focused in on every feature on Ichigo's face, and finally settled on staring into Ichigo's eyes. If it weren't for the alcohol, Shuuhei could've sworn he'd see his reflection in the dark depths of those eyes. Finally, Ichigo broke their stare and closed his eyes as he leaned forward, and kissed Shuuhei upon the lips.

Lightly, softly, but still definitely a kiss, Ichigo's lips leapt forward to embrace Shuuhei's lips, and Shuuhei in turn received the kiss willingly. Simple, long, and slow, the kiss lasted unbroken for several minutes…and would've continued longer had Ichigo remembered to breathe. But in his drunken state, Shuuhei was surprised that Ichigo even knew how to kiss. Breaking their contact, Ichigo opened his eyes slowly and smiled warmly.
"I don't mind being gay…" sighed Ichigo as he let out a long breath, and fell flat on his back. Shuuhei opened his eyes after he heard the dull thud of Ichigo's body, face still emotionless. He looked on the boy fondly and almost smiled, but repressed it as he thought of what he was going to do next.
"Yeah…I guess I don't mind either." Shuuhei had never really confronted his sexuality before, and he had long ago decided that he should keep such desires to his usual morning and evening splurges. But now, as he looked the boy over, he felt like breaking that vow. He shook his head vigorously as he tried to lose the thought; those kind of thoughts interfered with his work. Shuuhei turned away and drew his knees even closer to his chest. He was hoping that what he was going to do next would've been easier, but with Ichigo's confession (even if it was drunken) and the little kiss they shared…killing Ichigo would not be easy.

He picked up the empty bottle and brought it down hard upon the ground, letting the air resound with sound of shattering glass. He shivered slightly as he took the broken bottle by the handle and turned to point the jagged edges at Ichigo's throat. Ichigo lay there, still asleep, and murmured soft nothings to the night. Shuuhei shivered even more now, as he inched the bottle's edges even closer to Ichigo's flesh.
"Y'know…once you're dead, I'll finally be able to finish my mission…and I won't be so damn weak anymore…" muttered Shuuhei. His entire body shivered now, as if the air was getting colder by the minute. He gripped the handle tighter, as if trying to tighten his resolve. He kept telling himself that it was his job, that it was the betterment for the world, that Soul Society depended on him…but now he wasn't sure. He shivered as he tried a different approach at convincing himself. "Y'know once you're dead…I guess…I guess we can be together and all…that is if you still like me…" Shuuhei said the last sentence reluctantly and with spite. He finally placed the tip of the sharp edge at Ichigo's throat and pressed lightly, making a little dent in the otherwise perfect skin. Ichigo gasped slightly, but continued to sleep. Shuuhei sat there, crouched over Ichigo, mere seconds away from killing him, but frozen in hesitation. Sweat formed at the corners of his forehead and his breathing started to get erratic, and he cursed his body for shivering uncontrollably. 'Why does it have to be this way?' he thought suddenly. 'Why can't he be both human and captain?' said a whisper in the back of Shuuhei's mind. His mind raced furiously, bouncing from question to the next, and they all started with why. 'Why did you have to tell me that Ichigo?' he asked weakly, feeling his resolve weaken. 'Why do you like me Ichigo?' he asked, feeling energy drain from his arms. Finally, he thrust the bottle forward and plunged it into the softness before him.

Shuuhei sat in the middle of the yard quietly, face buried in his knees. He shuttered and groaned aloud in frustration and relief. How could he feel so good, yet so terrible at the same time? How could he want one thing, yet want the exact opposite at the same time? How could he do one thing for one reason, yet do another thing for the same exact reason? He shook uncontrollably, and after several minutes of uninterrupted silence, he calmed himself enough to speak.
"Did I do the right thing?"
"…You did."
"But…but you saw me. You saw how I hesitated. You saw how long I had to fight with myself before doing that…am I weak?" There was a long silence.

"…No. I think you're that much stronger for not killing Ichigo.
"But…but I couldn't kill him. You were watching me the whole time…" Shuuhei looked up and glanced at the icy demeanor of Kuchiki Rukia who was balancing elegantly upon the fence.
"It wasn't because of me. It's because you didn't want to kill him…and so you didn't, thank God." Rukia smiled gently as she flash stepped down to sit next to Shuuhei.
"I'm a fucked up guy, eh?"
"Well…I suppose most people react differently when they are kissed." Shuuhei laughed weakly. Rukia grinned as well, but resumed her serious tone as she spoke. "I suppose this means you're still going to pursue your mission, even after what happened."
"Yeah…" sighed Shuuhei as he stood up slowly. "Just…just not like what I did tonight."
"That's good to hear," said Rukia as she remained sitting. "Can you promise me one thing?"
"Hm?" asked Shuuhei as he reinstated his gruff voice. He was done angsting and back to his suave appearance.
"Promise me you'll never hurt Ichigo," said Rukia as she lowered the temperature around them several degrees. There was a long pause between Rukia's request and Shuuhei's answer.
"I just promised that."
"I mean it in more ways than one."
"And I'm telling you that I just promised that." Shuuhei walked over to Ichigo's unconscious body and picked it up with ease. Ichigo really was lighter than he seemed. Sighing, he walked through the door and into the house.
"Thanks Rukia" he called out before closing the door and turning off the backyard light. Rukia smiled.

She continued to sit in the cool lawn and watched as the window on the second floor lit up. She watched the figure of Shuuhei drop Ichigo's limp body onto his bed. She watched as Shuuhei undressed Ichigo and put on clean clothes for him. She watched, and she was satisfied. Absentmindedly, she muttered something she had meant to say to Shuuhei earlier.

"You'll eventually come to see, Hisagi, that you'd never want to hurt Ichigo in the first place. I hope it has become clearer to you that Ichigo is actually worth dying for …he's worth loving and dying for."

Rukia patted herself on the back and congratulated herself for yet another spectacular display of good word choice. Now if only the same could be said for where she had chosen to sit down…She cursed aloud as she stood up and removed the shards of glass from her hakama. She had sat upon the piece of glass that Shuuhei had thrust into the grass instead of Ichigo's neck.

TBC

Little extra information for the thorough mind.

1) For the visually driven, Ichigo's and Shuuhei's sizes are 6in and 7in, respectively… damn sexy SOB's…
2) oysters are traditional aphrodisiacs (food items that are believed to increase sexual desire/performance). I'm thinking of including oysters in all of my fanfics…

Anyhow, I do believe that this chapter was a tad bit more emotional than the last. Or maybe not.

And sorry if Shuuhei seems to be a deranged, psychopathic, obsessive, overall angsty kinda guy…not exactly my intentions for him to seem that way.

Some might find Ichigo's naivety about…certain subjects to be cute/absurd. If you're perhaps disturbed by this, no worries! He'll get more…knowledgeable over the next few chapters…of course, I'm not guaranteeing that anything explicit is going to happen.

And one last note. I love all you reviewers and I appreciate the reviews I've been getting…but reviews that say "I don't know what to say about this chapter" usually leave me with the impression that it was so crappy/shitty that there really was nothing to say. So if possible, could you leave me reviews that are a tad bit more detailed? i.e. reviews that express an opinion/criticism. Please and thank you! R&R as always.