A/N

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! Okay. Sorry that this is like three weeks late. I'm also sorry that I took like a week to update after I said a chappie would be up soon. I sent out PMs that said that... I'm reallysorry. I had love to deal with...About the wolf. Well, you'll just have to wait and find out my dear friends. Here's the chappie you've all been waiting for! Draco is finally gay! Also, I decided to probably redo all of the pervious chappies, since... well my characters seem to Ooc, you know. I know some of you agree with me. So... Just letting you know. Also, a couple minor changes are done... you need to reread chappies, 1, 2, 3 and that's it I guess. I might do some more changes.

chocolatemilk- yeah, this is one of the most original D/Hr stories you will ever find.

Dedication: For Liz. who is currently in the hospital. I'm praying for you!

Note from the editor: Haha, that sounds so cool... 'Note from the editor' hahaha. I just wanted to say something. GAY GUYS ROCK! YOU ARE SO FREAKING COOL! I LOVE YOU! Unless you're mean. Then I don't love you anymore. And, to ALL of the people who read this MARVELOUS story: HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Hermione strode down the corridor, Draco following her. Draco was wearing a large cloak, so Hermione could not see any part of him- his cold gray eyes, his grimacing smirk, or his pale face.

Hermione wondered what he was up to. She was excited for it though. She was absolutely bewildered.

They hadn't actually spoken the whole way there. Draco was unusually calm and quiet, like Remus Lupin. Thoughts were zooming through her head, wondering what exactly he could be doing.

They were close. Very close to the Great Hall. Soon Harry and Ron would find out why they would be in a laughing fit. Everyone would.

Hermione ran to the Gryffindor Table as Draco slowly walked into the Great Hall.

Throwing his cloak to the marble floor, he yelled out, "HIYA!".

Everyone stared at Draco, completely astonished.

His platinum blonde hair looked the same, his eyebrows were waxed, looking like bent toothpicks, he had used mascara that glittered in the luminous light of the Great Hall, his robes hung loosely by his waist, revealing a mocha colored button up shirt, a black moose in the corner, hinting that the shirt was from none other than Abercrombie and Fitch, and tight leather pants that were similar to the color of an oak tree. He actually looked pretty hot, but the leather pants just had to go.

"Is this some kind of like, inside joke that I don't know?" he asked in a slightly high-pitched voice.

"GAY FERRET!" Harry and Ron shouted, giving into a laughing fit like Hermione had mentioned the night before.

Everyone waited for the very sexy Draco to answer.

"Well of course. You might as well be out of your mind if you don't already know," Draco said, staring wide eyed at the crowd of angry Slytherins, rambunctious Gryffindors, laughing Ravenclaws, and whispering Hufflepuffs.

Draco ran a hand through his silky hair, striding over to the Slytherin Table where the glaring Slytherins were about ready to kick his ass. But instead of being ass-kicked, he made a fool of himself again. Being his now ditzy self, he tripped and fell on the corner of an oatmeal bowl, sending it flying through the air and making it's landing in his own hair. Draco stared at the oatmeal in revulsion and threw a big hunk of it. Unfortunately, it ended up in the Parkinslut's hair. Pansy let out a shriek, waving her hands frantically in the air. In fact, she was so frantic that she ended up smacking the dim-witted Crabbe and Goyle, unprepared for the force of Pasny's smack. They fell back, the muffins they were eating still in their abnormally large mouths. The impact of the obese dim wits caused them to shoot chewed bits of muffin through the air, hitting Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott in the face. Crabbe and Goyle were flailing about, their chubby legs stuck up in the air, causing a great commotion throughout the Great Hall. Draco was laughing his pretty little head off as the furious Blaise and Theodore took a handful of oranges and threw them at Crabbe and Goyle. But Blaise had purposely chucked an apple at Snape's head.

"You sod!" Snape shouted. Every single person turned their attention to the least liked potions teacher ever...

Snape chucked a biscuit at Blaise, but he quickly ducked, and the biscuit ended up hitting Ron on the head, making him suddenly so... agitated.

"YOU BLOODY-"

"FOOD FIGHT!" someone random little first year yelled, food flying throughout the Great Hall.

Surprisingly, the teachers were into the war too. Sprout hated Flitwick. So, she flung applesauce at him.

Wouldn't you do the same if you had that very same chance?

The loudest two people in the Great Hall were Draco and Ron.

Draco was squealing for his life, trying to find a corner where no one could reach him. He hurried around, now taller because he was hopping on his tipy-toes.

"Help! For the good of shopping, someone make this stop!" Draco squealed as he avoided a flying sausage.

And Ron, who was still agitated from getting hit in the head with a biscuit, was making the largest grunts you could have ever heard.

"Okay here goes," Ron said confidently, about ready to pitch a pear into Blaise's face.

"EeeeeeeAaaarggH!" Ron said attempting to hit Snape.

The grunting really didn't help. No, it didn't, not at all.

Ron's pear just hit the floor. Right next to the fast feet of the one and only Blaise Zabini.

Ron sulked. Harry stared.

But, Ron actually got up again. And he was really annoyed now. All 'cause Ronnikins could not even throw a pear right.

Ron snatched the applesauce, little bits of bread and fruit buried deep within, and approached Blaise. Harry followed, wanting to see if he would really dump all the awful applesauce on Blaise. Harry attempted to also hide behind Ron in because he didn't want to get hit with anything. Harry succeeded. He never felt anything coming his way. He relaxed as Ron, who had a possessed look plastered onto his freckly face, was carefully about to pour the applesauce.

Draco, who Hermione had now called him, "the bloke who is now gay", ran through the crowds of students. His goal, from what Harry could tell, was to get over on the other side of the great hall, where the fight was less severe.

"Ron," nudged Harry, trying to get him out of Draco's path.

Draco was frantically running through the crowd, pushing people out of his way. Harry tried to get Ron's attention again.

"Ron..."

Harry had it. Ron was being totally deaf.

"RON!" Harry yelled.

Right at that moment, Draco rushed past on his tippy-toes.

"WHAT?" Ron yelled, twisting around, spilling the applesauce on both Draco and Harry.

Harry, who was stunned by the applesauce stinging his eyes, tumbled into Ron, who fell on Blaise.

Blaise wasn't as lucky. His face hit a glass full of milk.

Owie.

The glass broke on impact, due to Blaise's heaviness. He saw it shatter before his eyes.

Too bad he got some glass jammed into his cheeks.

"OWWWWWWWWWWW!"

As Blaise's screams echoed loudly throughout the halls, while Draco was still acting gay.

Like Harry, Draco's eyes were contaminated with applesauce. So Draco ran around like a bat in the sunlight- totally confused.

Draco accidentally bumped into Snape, who was, surprisingly, chucking oranges at Professor McGonagall, who was trying to stop the madness.

Because Draco had pretty much tackled Snape, Sevvie pretty much tripped and fell.

On McGonagall.

She let out a shriek, picking up baguette and bashing Snape in the face.

"BLOODY HELL!" Snape's yell echoed throughout the Great Hall as McGonagall repeatedly bashed Sevviepoo in the face, causing a ruckus throughout the school.

Every single person in the room was just staring at the two teachers.

Then Snape did the unbelievable. Well, actually some people would believe it, but no one cares.

He slapped her in the face, his own face stony and red.

McGonagall flinched, and put a hand up to where he'd hurt her.

She had never looked so angry and embarrassed.

So she did what any other normal person would do.

She pushed him into the wall and smacked him silly, earning her a round of applause as she left the Great Hall.

"And it was just Draco who started it all along," Hermione thought as the chattering students filed out of the Great Hall. The teachers were now cleaning up the remaining mess. I don't think anyone would want Dumbledore to know.

Hermione had transfiguration with the Ravenclaws this sunny morning. As Hermione scribbled down notes, pausing to raise her hand and ask a question, Harry and Ron were busy talking about Neville and wanting to play "matchmaker".

As Hermione relaxed after she transfigured a candle into an orange, she thought back to this morning.

"Why is Draco being more gay than he's supposed to? He didn't have to do that presentation of his newly found gayness in order to complete the favor. Maybe it's a sign saying that when I have to be a slut, maybe I have to act like I really and actually am," Hermione thought, staring out the dusty window of McGongall's classroom.

"I sure hope not," Hermione thought as she left the class, two of her laughing friends by her side.

"Hermione, are you okay? You have been pretty silent today," Ron asked.

"Yeah, it's fine," she told him.

"Malfoy looked more awful than usual at lunch today," Harry commented. "He was acting gay too. What made him start to act like that?"

"I know," Hermione said knowingly.

"How?" the two boys said quizzically.

"Well, me and Malfoy did this favor type thing..."

"Does that have to do with you sitting at the dreadful Slytherin Table?" Harry asked.

"Yes, it does," Hermione said, agitated by the fact that Harry rudely interrupted her. "And he has to be gay for two weeks."

Harry and Ron looked as if Snape had gotten killed.

"Hermione, I love you," the two boys said at the same time. Hermione blushed crimson. Hermione forgot to tell them about her favor also.

But when she tried to talk, the boys erupted in conversation and she couldn't get a word in.

Hermione shrugged it off and walked over alone to her next class- Muggle Studies.

Yes, Hermione was taking Muggle Studies again.

But why?

Because she figured with doing Head duties, she would be a busy girl. So why not take an easy subject?

As Hermione walked into class in a bored fashion, she saw a familiar face.

Of someone too familiar.

Why was Draco Malfoy taking Muggle studies?

Has the world come to an end?

"HI HERMIONE!" Draco shouted from the corner, waving his hand frantically.

"Oh my God," Hermione said under her breath as she stood watching Draco being gay.

Since Hermione was slightly late, she ended up as the last person in class. When she was going to go grab a seat, she found that the only one left was by Draco.
Hermione smacked her forehead.

"Hey! Hermione! Over here!" Draco called, still waving his hand around frantically.

Draco was like the annoying little brother that she never had.

Students were whispering and snickering at Draco.

Hermione sat down and stared at Draco. He was still wearing muggle clothes beneath his robes. You could tell because his robes hung loosely by his waist.

She stared into Draco's eyes and found something that she never would think she'd see.

Pure happiness. His gray eyes were not cold, but full of life.

It was like he changed and was a totally new person.

Hermione quickly took her eyes off of Draco before he could notice. He was busy staring into a small mirror anyway to care.

"Why are you trying to act like you really are gay? You didn't have to go this far," Hermione told him as the teacher strode into class.

Draco flashed her a smile before taking out a piece of parchment and scribbling a quick note to Hermione.

Mudblood,
I'm only doing this for a couple of reasons.
1. It's actually quite fun to see everyone's reactions. Damn my reputation at the moment.
2. I want you to act like a real slut too. Do you know that I will be hysterical when in 2 weeks from now, you'll walk out into the Great Hall, obtaining all the qualities a slut like Brown has?
3. I can't wait to see my Father's reaction. Hell, he shouldn't be my father. He will shit a brick when he finds out. That would be hysterical, Mudblood. Just hysterical.

Hermione's eyebrow quirked up in amusement.

"So ... you're really going to act as gay as this for 2 weeks?" Hermione asked him incredulously.

"No. I am going to be as anti-gay as possible," Draco said sarcastically, his voice altered to be a bit higher than usual.

Hermione shook her head as the portly teacher cleared her throat. She looked slightly related to Umbridge, the evil bitch of a woman!

"Hello everyone. I am Professor Dertar, your new professor, since the last Muggle Studies teacher was attacked by a giant and is now in critical condition," the curly auburn-haired woman told them as she paced around the dimly lit room.

A couple studies replied back to the teacher with a 'hello', but most students were bored, so they didn't say a word.

Draco was smiling like a cheerleader on crack towards the teacher. Hermione rose an eyebrow at Draco.

Draco turned to her and his smile faded into a displeased look.

"How come no one notices me! My radiant sexiness should brighten this whole room!" Draco exclaimed as the whole room turned to him.

"You! What is your name?" Deartar asked.

Draco thought intently as the other students began to snicker.

"My name is Draca," he replied, looking as honest as Dumbledore.

Draco, or should I say "Draca", is very "truthful" when it comes to lying. No one can ever tell...

"Okay, well I suggest you quiet down and focus on how radiant someone else is, such as me," she said, twirling a curl of her auburn hair.

"You? Radiant? Your about as radiant as Hagrid's ass!" Draco exclaimed, as the whole class burst into laughter.

"YOU! DETENTION!" the outraged professor shouted, a raging fire blazing in her eyes. "At 7 sharp tonight. And for now, I want you to get out of my class."

The laughter soon subsided as Draco left the room.

"Just you wait, bitch!" Draco squealed in a high voice.

The hideous teacher stared daggers into Draco's back. Her glare would make Voldermort cry.

"Now then, let's begin by opening our books to page 15," Deartar said as if she never remember what just happened.

Hermione had told the prefects that they would schedule a meeting on Wednesday. She had to write it in her schedule, since she had forgotten numerous times.

As the strolled to her room in a carefree manner, she met a pair of happy gray eyes. Although she could still see the coldness buried deep inside them.

"Granger, hello," Draco drawled in his usual voice.

"What happened to being gay?" Hermione asked, a playful smile on her face.

"No one's around Granger, I don't care now. But, just to annoy you, I will be gay in your presence," Draco said, a smirk growing on his face.

Hermione raised an eyebrow in fascination as Draco bounded away.

"This is getting weird," she said to herself as she entered the Head's Common Room.

As time flew by, Hermione took notes on her first day of classes, writing down anything and everything that was important.

She was no longer famished from not eating this morning, because she had just had lunch a couple of hours ago.

Her last class of the day was potions.

With the Slytherins.

At lunch, Hermione had told Harry, Ron, and Ginny how Draco made her new teacher furious. They all ended up in a laughing fit from Draco's joke.

Hermione sat in middle of Harry and Ron as usual, scribbling down large amounts of notes.

As Hermione was reading from her Potions book, Snape was striding throughout the classroom. Harry, Ron, and Hermione, turned around as soon as they heard a high pitched voice.

"Mr.Malfoy, what do you think you're doing?" Snape asked inquisitively.

"Nothing," Draco replied, as innocent as possible. Hermione noticed no one was sitting around him.

"Oh, a note I presume?" Snape said, a smirk slowly developing on his face.

Draco looked up at him in horror.

"Why don't I just read this in front of the class?" Snape suggested to himself.

"No, don't!" Draco pleaded in his fake high voice.

"The most Perfect Couples," Snape began.

Hermione rose her eyebrows in confusion and Draco looked horrified.

"I think that a potential couple would be Blaise and Harry. I mean, who doesn't think that they have so much in common? Like the fact that Blaise and Harry sang one of the weird sister's songs last year in that ugly Mrytle's bathroom. Wow, Harry should be a singer! Maybe the both could do a duet! Or, even better yet, instead of Blaise and Harry, a cute couple should be Harry and Mrytle!"

Everyone burst into laughter, while Harry and Blaise looked like they were going to smack Draco with their rock-hard book.

Snape began once again as the students stopped laughing.

"I really think that Ron Weasely and Seamus Finnegan make a cute couple. I mean, ugly people have to spend their futures with each other. I can see it now. Ron and Seamus are walking hand in hand, and it starts to rain. And then Ron says, "Seamus, I'll shield you from the rain," and tackles him to the ground where Ron and Seamus stare deeply into each others eyes. Then Seamus says, "Ron, I love you. Will you marry me?" and he pulls a ring out of his pocket. Ron's eyes fill up in tears, and he says "yes" and they fall asleep. Wouldn't that be perfect? These two are meant to be. Hermione and Seamus will like break up because Seamus will confess his love for Ron."

Everyone burst out laughing, and Ron and Seamus were as red as a tomato. They looked thoroughly disgusted.

Snape smirked at Draco.

Snape scanned the piece of parchment and ran out the classroom yelling.

Neville picked up the piece of parchment and started to read in a shaky voice.

"Sev and that new professor make a good couple. There both bitchy gits!"

Everyone suddenly ran out the classroom laughing. They had decided to go since Snape was out of sight.

Hermione glared at Draco as left the classroom skipping.

"I'm going to run off to find my friends!" Draco sang as he flew down the corridor.

"Malfoy, you have no friends," Ron said simply as Harry and he walked ahead.

Draco shouted one last comment dramatically. "I do have friends, I'll have you know!". Then he looked at the ground and sniffed. "Where is a goddamn tissue!".

Snickering was heard throughout the corridor as Draco ran off wailing.

Hermione softly laughed.

"This is unbelievable," she muttered as she saw Draco speeding off.

A/N

I always laugh everytime I read that last part. No offence to gays. You people are so freaking kewl.
And do some gay guys really wear Abercrombie and Fitch? Cause I only picture gay guys wearing that brand. But anyway, thanks for reading. and remember to review. I love you all!

SiriuslyFunny