A/N

Ahh... I love you guys... I like to know that people love my story. Well, in your reviews, remember that you should send me ideas cause it really does help. Oh, and review my oneshots.

Dedication: That helpless dog. I cry at the sight of your dead body.

Draco sauntered over to Hermione, who was on the couch reading her transfiguration book. He could see her scanning the lines of text in her book. She suddenly looked up and groaned.

"What," she said through clenched teeth.

"Well... It's truth, remember?" he told her lazily.

"Oh yeah," she told him as cast the truth spell.

"Hm..." Draco pondered as she- ahem, I mean he stuck a manicured finger on his chin. "I got it! Do you think Potter's going to lose against Voldermort?"

Hermione let out a small gasp, but looked quite strong.

"No, he won't," Hermione told him staunchly.

A silence drifted in and out the room.

"What do you want me to do most as a gay person?" he asked her again, hugging his knees tight since he was now on the floor.

"I want you to wear a thong," Hermione blurted out as she let out a stifled giggle. Draco had never seen her giggle and found it... quite odd.

Draco raised an eyebrow, giving her the what-in-the-bloody-hell look. But Hermione just grinned and waited patiently for him to ask the next question.

"What are you planning to do on your first day of slutiness?" he asked, smirking like crazy.

"I plan to pretend I fancy you," Hermione whispered, and blushed furiously as she ran to her room and slammed the door shut.

"What's her problem?" Draco asked in his gay voice.

Draco decided to head to the diary to see how Hermione was feeling.

I'm starting to think playing Truth wasn't such a good idea. He just spoiled one of my plans for being a slut! Now I can't do half the things I planned to do! Now I have to think of something else because now he knows...Hmm... maybe I can get him to do something for me during the dare. Well, we will just have to wait and see. Just wait and see...

Draco smirked. Hermione would be able to get him to help her. With a deal, that is.

The next morning at breakfast, all was quiet. Everyone was expecting Draco to do something outrageous, like yesterday. Fortunately, no one had told Dumbledore about the food fight incident, so it was all good.

Then Owl Post came. Owls of many different colors swooped in and out. Hermione watched in bewilderment as a gray owl with brown specks embedded on its feathers flew towards Draco, holding what seemed to be a Howler. Draco was busy letting his large mouth tell Pansy off. Hermione could even hear it since he was being so loud. Draco seemed to only be wearing his uniform today, but Hermione had a feeling that some weird outfit was under his robes.

"You know, you should get a makeover. You make me look like the supreme gangster of the world," Draco said loudly to Pansy. Well, it was supposed to be heard only by Pansy, but the whole Great Hall ended up hearing it. Maybe 'cause it was so quiet.

The Great Hall let out a few chuckles and giggles, but silence started to filter again through the Great Hall.

The owl that seemed to be flying in Draco's direction finally dropped off a Howler in Draco's hands. He smirked to himself as he opened it.

"OKAY EVERYONE. GET UP AND DANCE, DANCE!" the Howler hollered. Draco immediately got up on the table and starting busting some random muggle dance moves like the 1,2 step and the sprinkler.

Everyone laughed as some more kids got up on the table and tried to dance.

The a voice came from the Howler again.

"ALRIGHT, THIS IS A SONG FOR ALL YOU GUYS OUT THERE. IT'S A REMAKE OF A MUGGLE SONG. LISTEN UP NOW!"

All the students watched expectantly as Draco's shrill voice started to erupt from the Howler.

"GUYS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN! OH YEA, GUYS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN!"

Draco undid his robes and was looking so scary...

Even guys shrieked in disgust.

He was wearing a bright pink shirt and tight black jeans, with a thong over his jeans.

Thus, Hermione was letting out shrieks of laughter because she thought it was so funny.

He was trying to get people up on the tables.

Meanwhile...

"Where are the death eaters?" yelled McGonagall and Snape. They were eating in the Great Hall until they received and owl that there were death eaters in a new shop in Hogsmeade. It was called Draca's Shop of Mysteries.

They entered the shop and a figure was lurking in the darkness.

"Who's there!" McGonagall interrogated.

They heard a sniff and they jumped. Literally.

Snape jumped, tilted slightly back, and McGonagall tilted slightly frontwards.

Thus, they both crashed into each other, their wands flying from their hands.

But they weren't that afraid because they didn't think it was a death eater because they would have blasted their arses out of there anyway.

"You dolt!" she hissed.

"Shut up you sod! They'll hear you!" Snape hissed in a more snakelike way.

"Greasy," she mumbled as she tried reaching for her wand.

"YOU LITTLE!-"

But Snape was cut off by the fact that their wands disappeared into the darkness.

"Greasy," she repeated once more, in a blaming sort of tone.

"Bloody Hell," Snape muttered as he tried to see what was shifting in the darkness.

They became more alert as they heard a crash in the corner of the room. Maybe it was a Death Eater.

They saw the figure get closer.

Snape tried pointing at the figure and yelling a spell, but it ended up hitting a wall.

Then they saw a house elf emerge from the surface.

"Bloody..." they both sighed, thinking they were really dumb.

Back at Hogwarts, a couple of people got on the tables and tried to dance like a muggle.

Then, out of the blue, Harry, Blaise, Seamus, and Ron approached Draco looking like they were going to beat him up.

"C'mon and dance!" Draco told them cheerfully.

But they didn't seem so cheerful.

They all got on the table and tried to swing punches at him. They felt like beating him up the muggle way...

But Draco dodged all of their punched by doing the one two step while reaching his head out like a turtle. He looked like he was on a surfboard.

Seamus and Ron had fury flashing in their eyes as they stomped towards the carefree Draco.

"Eek! Don't touch me!" Draco said in his gay tone, pushing the guys with great fury.

Since Seamus was on his left and Ron was on his right, they ended up going in different directions.

Well, actually, they fell in different directions.

Seamus tumbled down on the same Slytherins that made fun of Pansy Parkinson. They let out yelps as the jello came down with him, it getting in their mouths. They sounded like baby monkeys. Seamus was enjoying a nice bowl of mashed potatoes in his face.

Well, 'enjoying' wasn't the right word...

Pansy let out an ear-piercing shriek of laughter that made everyone grimace.

Ugliness has a great affect. But so can sexiness.

Like Draco. He was now doing a victory dance and singing a strange song.

"NAH, YOU CAN'T BE LIKE ME. YOU CAN'T BE GAY LIKE ME. NAH, YOU CAN'T BE ME. I'M SO SEXXYYYYYYY! YOU'LL NEVER BEILEVEEEEE ITTT! OHHH GAY PEOPLE SING TO MEEEEE".

The whole great hall was slient as a gay Hufflepuff got on the table and started to sing, but ended up sounding like a lamb giving birth. Too bad for that Hufflepuff anyway, because he tried doing the worm (he was a muggle-born) and ended up getting milk in everyone's face. So, some 7th year Hufflepuffs dragged him off the table and threatened to feed him to Snape.

Ron however, fell onto Pansy, who was snorting from laughing so hard at the younger Slytherins. He fell on her head and the laughter from her mouth subsided. Ron and Pansy both hit their heads on a bench, which really must have hurt because Ron was groaning loudly and Pansy was bawling.

Hermione rushed from her spot to go help Ron, no matter how hysterical Draco was being.

Harry and Blaise, after a couple of minutes, approached Draco from behind.

Bad idea.

Simultaneously, Draco scooted his butt backwards. And knocked them both over.

They slid across the table, bread crumbs in their hair. Harry and Blaise were only temporarily knocked over, so they quickly got up and tried to hurt Draco once more.

But Draco stopped them. Not with violence though.

Draco and his "imaginary boobs" shuffled up to the two boys. He thrust his chest forward and ushered his "imaginary boobs" into their face.

They flinched and slipped on some banana peels, which was just a classic to the Muggleborns. Their chins made a large thump on the table and Gryffindors and Slytherins were horrified.

Meanwhile, in an unknown room to most teachers, Flitwick and Sprout were locked in a dim closet.

"How did we get here in the first place?" Sprout asked as her eyes fluttered open. Flitwick was currently blacked out.

She heard a rustling noise come above her and a wave of fear ran through her body.

"Who's there?" she questioned nervously.

Then she heard a crack and she let out a yell.

Professor Dertar and her large arse fell onto the two professors which caused both females to black out.

The closet light suddenly turned off.

They weren't aware there was a note on Dertar's head.

It read:

You'll be here for a while. But anyway, lots of love from my heart to yours.

Then below it was the messy scrawl which said "Draca".

Back in the Great Hall, Draco was running through the Great Hall with not a care in the world.

Hermione was trying to help Ron, oblivious to the fact that Draco was nearby. She let out a slight chuckle, but kept trying spells to make Ron better.

Ron suddenly bolted up and looked like he had gotten a ten hour sleep. Then he bolted over to Draco, who was skipping about. Hermione ran after him, thinking maybe she used the wrong spell. Ron ran behind Draco and as he tried to throw punch, Ron tripped over some plates on the ground. Hermione was right by Draco at the time. So when Ron tripped and pushed Draco...

Draco fell on Hermione.

Hermione flew to the ground, pain rushing to her head.

Then she saw him.

She grew horrified as Draco was on top of her.

She gazed into his eyes for one moment.

And she saw something she had never seen before.

Hermione saw intense gray eyes, flooded with confusion.

And she knew he was confused just by the very essence in his eye.

He was driven to the edge. Draco was doing something he shouldn't be doing.

He was confusing himself. He was drifting into another world.

But slowly.

She saw a man changing-

Into something she would never know until his transformation was complete.

She didn't know why all of these inferences were flooding to her. She never even thought of this stuff.

She quickly looked away as Draco got off of her, red surfacing on his cheeks.

Everyone was quiet for the rest of the time. They didn't really want to talk, because their stomachs hurt from laughing too hard.

Hermione sighed.

She didn't know much anymore. She felt like giving up.

But she wouldn't. Her habits and morals are too strong.

But they could crumble down. Like she is now, from a need she doesn't fulfill.

Draco snickered as he watched students stroll back to their dormitories. He would take care of the teachers later, but for now he wanted to get this done.

When he said he would get revenge on Seamus, he would. He decided to make Hermione hurt too. He was going to break them up. Draco heard how much Seamus loved Hermione. But he didn't care, it is his nature not to care for anyone but himself.

Although Draco did keep wondering if he was going to get married one day.

Draco wanted kids. He wanted a girl. A girl he would treasure like he did to Dreamer. Draco couldn't forget Dreamer, she was a great piece of his life. He would never let go of their memories. Nor their letters.

But anyway, Draco snuck to the secret compartment where he kept his polyjuice potion.

He slowly drank the bubbling brew, the taste making his tastebuds scream in disgust.

He then transformed into the familiar face of Lavender Brown.

A/N

Ah. A cliffie. If you thought this chappie wasn't very funny, I'm sorry, but I needed to have some parts in there. I'll try to get an update soon if I don't get in trouble. I'll be posting a new fic soon so be on the lookout.

SiriuslyFunny