Eight

She wanted to ask what he was thinking, but she could barely catch her breath to speak. This felt like the moment in the cabin when he had lay like a deer caught in headlights and she had thought it was because he was freaking out about having had sex with an HIV positive woman. Then it became clear that it was because he was afraid she was going to demand a commitment and he would have to let her down. Except, maybe it wasn't that clear. She had come to think as time passed that it wasn't so much her feelings that had overwhelmed him but his own. It didn't matter though, because he hadn't been willing to admit them or do anything with them except run. Whether that had changed she didn't know and couldn't tell. All she knew is that now, having made love to him again, she knew without a doubt she couldn't settle for what they'd had before, it would hurt more than walking away again. She closed her eyes against the pain.

"Robin?" Patrick's hand was on her face. "Are you all right?"

Robin took a deep breath and blew it out as she opened her eyes. "What just happened, I know it was my fault, but I just can't do this." Robin sat up and started to turn away.

"Expecting me to live down your expectations again?" he snapped. She turned back to look into his thunderous countenance and her heart sank. She was doing it again, everything she accused him of. He ran, she pushed. She settled back against the pillows and rubbed her face. "Sorry," she mumbled. She looked at him again, willing herself to be vulnerable.

"This is never going to work if you keep assuming the worst about me. Maybe I deserve it sometimes, but not all the time." He sat up and took her hand, settling their entwined fingers in his lap.

"This?"

At Robin's half-hopeful question Patrick smirked. He leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, "This relationship."

"Is that what this is? A relationship?" Robin asked huskily, her heart in her throat, her eyes lighting up with hope.

"Hasn't it always been, regardless of what I said?" Patrick paused for a moment, searching for the right words. "I have feelings for you and this is and has been more than just sex for a long time now."

"Is that you're way of saying I was right?" Robin smothered her smirk at Patrick's glare. "I have feelings for you, too." She toyed with their joined fingers with her free hand.

"How could you help it?" Patrick shrugged. "But you have to be able to trust me. I'm trying to show you that you can. As perfect as I may be, I'm probably going to make mistakes and I'm not going to just fall in line with what how you think I should be, but when I put my mind to something I always succeed."

"And you want to succeed at this relationship?"

"Do you need it in writing?"

"I just want to make sure that I'm not misunderstanding. A lot of the time your words and actions don't match, Patrick."

"That's what I'm working on here." Patrick sighed and scratched at his forehead. "I was showing you the actions, now you have the words. I think it's your turn now. Are you willing to give this a try or are your expectations of me too low?"

Robin swallowed as she realized just how far on a limb Patrick had just gone. "What I said, when I say that I don't really mean it. I'm just trying to protect myself and my pride. I think you're an amazing man, you just hide it sometimes." She bit her lip and let out a shaky breath. "I want to do this with you."

Patrick gave her a lascivious smirk, taking her words into the realm of sexual innuendo. Robin rolled her eyes, but she was smiling.