AN: This is my twenty-eighth story and I still don't own Teen Titans!
Chapter 17
Raven lay curled up in her bed. She seemed to have created a groove in her bed she had not moved for so long. The babies were almost a week old and did everything normal infants did. They cried, they pooped, and they slept. And Raven just lay in bed, sleeping. She only moved about to feed the babies, but even that she didn't do all of the time. She had begun to pump her milk so that Beast Boy could feed them. She left him basically in charge so she could just sleep.
"Cy, I'm really worried about Raven," said Beast Boy as he sat on the couch burping Joaquin. Delilah slept in her little carrier on the floor where her father could watch her. "All she does is sleep and she doesn't even want to see the babies."
"I think she's havin what's called the 'baby blues'," said Cyborg. "Sometimes woman get a little depressed after they give birth."
"But it's been a week," said Beast Boy as he gently placed Joaquin back in his own little carrier.
"Well, this is usually when it kicks in," said Cyborg. "Don't worry, she'll snap out of it soon enough. And she's just sleeping, nothing dangerous about that."
"She's not really eating, either," said Beast Boy. "Every time I bring her something to eat she refuses. All I can get her to drink is tea."
"Hmm," thought Cyborg. "Well, if anything else happens let me now. She may be having postpartum depression."
"And that is?" asked Beast Boy.
"It's a serious form of baby blues, you could say," said Cyborg.
Beast Boy slowly slid Ravens door open and then entered with both babies so he could put them down for their nap. Raven didn't even budge. He sighed and placed the babies in their crib. They still slept together, since they cried when they were separated. Once they were in their nice little bed he went over to see his girlfriend.
"Rae?" he said softly and crawled on next to her. She didn't wake up. "Raven," he said again and shook her.
She sighed and gave a moan. "What?" she asked, trying to remain asleep.
"You've been sleeping all day," said Beast Boy. "You should get up and walk around a little."
"I don't want to," said Raven, curling up tighter.
"Come on, I'll make you something to eat," said Beast Boy.
"I'm not hungry," said Raven plainly.
"You've got to be," said Beast Boy. "You haven't had anything since yesterday, and all you had was tea and toast. Please, come out to the common room with me. Cyborg would really like to see you."
"Beast Boy, I just want to sleep," said Raven on the verge of tears. "Just let me sleep."
He sighed and took her into his arms. He kissed the top of her head and settled in to sleep as well. He was dead tired from taking care of the babies and from worrying about Raven. He was quite upset when she didn't respond to him at all. She just kept her eyes closed and fell asleep. He hated seeing her like this and he hoped these baby blues would pass sooner than later.
But they did not pass as he had hoped. Raven continued to lie in bed and ate very little. Beast Boy had even walked in on her a few times hearing her sniffling. He would check her to see if she was okay and could see the remnants of tears on her cheeks. He wasn't sure what was going on and this only made him feel very helpless.
His spirits were lifted slightly when Robin called them up and told that that Starfire was about to have the baby.
"So you're just gonna wait outside the room?" asked Cyborg.
"Basically," said Robin. "That's the Tamaranean tradition."
"I don't know how you can put up with all of those weird traditions," said Beast Boy.
"Hey, I'd do anything for her," said Robin with a smile. "I love her."
"Awe," said Cyborg and Beast Boy dramatically.
"Shut up," said Robin, trying to cover up the fact that he was blushing. "Anyway, we'll be home in two days. Star's been talking nonstop about how much she wants to come home."
"But she is home," said Beast Boy.
"She considers Earth to be her home," said Robin. "Tamaran is just her home world."
"Then why is she forcin you to stay so traditional if she doesn't consider Tamaran her home?" asked Cyborg.
"Look, I'm just doing what she wants to make her happy," sighed Robin. "And they're not all that odd. Look, I gotta go. I have to be in there exactly two seconds after it's born or I'll never be allowed to see it."
"Okay, man, good luck," said Cyborg.
"Yeah, have fun becoming a daddy like me," said Beast Boy with a grin. And with that Robin signed off. Suddenly Beast Boy's communicator went off. He had programmed it like an alarm clock so he would remember when he had to feed the twins. He quickly turned it off and headed for Ravens room.
He entered and to his shock Raven wasn't in her bed. But he heard the shower running, so he thought that maybe she was starting to feel a little better. He took Delilah first, sat down in his rocking chair, and began to feed her from a bottle. As much as he wanted Raven to start taking care of them as well, he truly did love taking care of them. He loved to listen to them as they drank from their bottle for they made little grunting noises as if they had never eaten before.
He had also noticed how different the two of them already were. Even though Delilah was smaller, she was much more interactive. She was constantly moving about and trying to get attention. She had opened her eyes before her brother and loved to just watch her father as he took care of her. She would pull at his hand and kick her little feet with excitement as she fed. And if one of the babies was crying, it was usually her.
Joaquin was much more laid back and quiet. He slept most of the time and barely cried. Whenever Beast Boy fed him he would lay relatively still and calmly place his little hand over Beast Boy's. As if he knew what was going on and didn't want to be a bother to his father by fidgeting about like his sister. The one big difference between he and his sister was they he was a suck-a-thumb baby. As soon as he was about to pass out he would pop his thumb in her mouth and peacefully drift off to sleep. They were definitely two very different children.
Beast Boy had fed and changed both babies and Raven was still not out of the shower. He was starting to get a little worried. He decided to see if she was okay, so he knocked on her bathroom door.
"Raven, you okay in there?" he called. But she gave no response. "Raven, it's me, are you okay?" Still she said nothing and all he could hear was the water running from the shower. "Raven, if you don't say anything then I'm coming in." He waited about five seconds and then entered.
The bathroom was full of steam and he could barely see anything. "Raven?" he said. He heard a slight choke and he knew she was in there. He went over to the shower and pulled the curtain away. And there she sat, naked with her knees pulled up against her chest, weeping into them. She slowly looked up at Beast Boy and then began crying all over again.
"Raven, what's wrong?" he asked, turning the water off. He quickly grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her, but she did not move. She just continued to cry. "Rae, please tell me," he said, desperately.
She pulled away from him and hugged the towel around herself. "Just leave me alone," she wept.
"Come on," he said softly and scooped her up. She gently wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face into his shoulder. He carried her out of the bathroom and over to her bed. He grabbed another towel and then began to dry her off. He dressed her, not once realizing or caring that this was the first time he had ever seen her fully naked. He was far too upset to care.
Once she was dressed he sat on her bed and held her in his arms. "Rae, please tell me what's going on," he said, rubbing her back.
"I'm so sorry," she cried.
"For what?" he asked.
"For ruining your life," she said, burying her face into his chest.
"What? How'd you ruin my life?" asked Beast Boy, confused.
"I got pregnant and had children and now you're life is ruined," she wept. "I'm so sorry. I know this wasn't what you wanted. I should have given them away."
"No, don't say that," he said, holding her closer. "I love my life and I wouldn't change a thing. Those babies are the best thing that's ever happened to me aside from you. My life would've been ruined if you had given them up."
"I just know that they're going to hate me," she said with tears streaming from her eyes.
"They're not gonna hate you," said Beast Boy. "They have no reason to hate you."
"They'll find a reason," said Raven. "I just don't want to do anything wrong. I don't want to ruin their lives."
"You won't," said Beast Boy. "I promise you won't ruin their lives. Because I'm gonna be there and together we're gonna do everything right."
She cried even harder and he held her small frame against him as tightly as he could. She had lost a lot of weight since she had refused to eat and to think that a few weeks before she had been enormous from being pregnant with twins seemed impossible.
"I don't like feeling like this," she said sobbed. "I feel guilty for everything in my life. I feel like I'd be better off dead."
"Don't you ever think like that again," said Beast Boy, looking her straight in the eyes. "Do you hear me? Never again! Promise me you will never think something that horrible ever again."
"Okay," said Raven.
"Promise me!" said Beast Boy with tears forming in his own eyes.
"I promise," she said starting too cry again at the sight at him crying.
"Good," said Beast Boy, bringing her close and kissing her as the tears fell from his eyes.
"I promise," she said again and between every kiss he gave her.
He kissed every one of the tears upon her face away and couldn't help crying as he did. He never wanted to hear her saying anything so horrible. She meant everything to him. She had given him two beautiful little babies against her will and now she was feeling like she should be dead? He just couldn't handle that.
He rested his forehead against hers and between his tears he said, "I love you." Never had either said these exact words to each other. But he did and he had to tell her. If it wasn't for her he wouldn't have everything he had ever wanted.
"I love you too," said Raven, doing her best to stop her sobs. She leaned in and kissed him strongly. "I love you so much."