BENNY- Shrugging. "I do hope so. He's not the only one to go through what he did. College experimentation is all it was. Everyone does it." Looking to Roger, shrugging again.
ROGER- "Yeah. Of course." Making a face.
BENNY- "We...Mark!" Rushing to Mark's room and pounding on the door. "Mark, it was only a joke! Buddy, c'mon, open up. He would have found out eventually! Mark!"
ROGER- Appearing by Benny's side. "Mark, it does not alter who you are today. You're still the video geek." Putting up a laugh.
Camera is in hall angled to pick up on Mark as he opens the door, but focusing on Roger and Benny.
MARK- "It was never meant to be told."
BENNY- "Buddy, it was college! You were experimenting! It's not uncommon!"
(As Mark goes to comment, the camera swings to the front door as it opens and Collins enters.)
COLLINS- "Hey, bitches!" Tossing his keys onto the table and pausing as he sees Benny. "Who's the stud?"
BENNY- "Benjamin. Benny."
ROGER- "A friend of Mark's."
COLLINS- Nodding. "Oh. And Mark is...oh, Mark. Hiding away?" Lowering his head.
MARK- "Screw you all!" Slamming door.
COLLINS- "What's got his knickers in a twist?"
BENNY- Glancing at Roger. "I think it's best we let him tell you that. Coax him out of his room. Roger and I are going...well, we're going." Grabbing Roger's arm and dragging him to the door.
ROGER- (Quietly.) "What are you doing?"
BENNY- "Your friend Collins is in the same boat as Mark."
ROGER- "You mean...Quickly glancing at Collins, who has walked over to Mark's door. "Really? How can you tell?"
BENNY- "I bunked with a gay man at one point. Flamer. Everything a homosexual acts upon, I can tell you." Opening the door and almost shoving Roger out.
Camera angle cuts to from behind Collins as he taps on Mark's door.
COLLINS- "Mark? Can I come in?"
(The door opens and Mark stands there, biting at his lower lip. He moves to the side and holds out his arm.)
MARK- "It's your room." Proceeding to sit on his bed.
COLLINS- Sitting down next to him, crossing his legs at the ankles. "What's the deal, man? You're locking yourself away. That's not you. I don't know you, but I can tell you that you don't hide."
MARK- "Don't I? Always behind my camera, they say. Hiding from the truth."
COLLINS- "We all have secrets."
MARK- "Your secret doesn't lie with another man."
COLLINS- Raising left eyebrow and cocking head to the right. "And how could you be so sure about that? You know not about me."
MARK- "Yes, but was your secret mocked by those you thought were friends?"
COLLINS- "My life is a mockery, Mark, dear boy. I am an HIV positive black homosexual. Would you not find that teasingful?"
MARK- "I try not to to. Make a mockery of things."
COLLINS- "It's a way of living, Mark! You've got to find the humor to live. I find humor in my life. I joke about it."
MARK- Protesting. "I'm not that kind of person. To me, life is about seriousness. Life is...a documentary."
MARK-
Life is a play. You dance and sing every day.
You can't sit on your ass and let life pass.
Life is living. Life is a documentary!
I'm scared of life. That's why I film!
That's why I hide behind the camera.
And you'll notice I'm never in a scene.
That is because, to me life is obscene.
Lived privately and alone.
(Mark stands at this point and twirls in a circle, ending at the window, his hands on the sill.)
MARK-
And then Roger came. And my heart stilled. And my heart stilled.
A friend at last. A friend with the same past.
But secrets are not meant to be shared! Only if dared.
Secrets with a man that you never wanted known...
Secrets with a lover that you never wanted to telll anyone about!
Secrets that were never meant to be let out!
(Mark turns on his heels and does a little jig. It's up to the actor what this jig be. Limits and regulations, of course.)
MARK-
Your HIV is well known. His addiction can be healed.
But you neither face what I am scared to admit is real!
There were girls, indeed, but more men than not, that I was attracted to.
But no one knew, for the mere fact, that it was a secret!
MARK- Strides to bed and lies down, running his hand down his stomach, stopping above the belt.
His hands slid beneath...he was soon out of reach.
His lips upon mine felt so right!
I can't believe I'm talking about this tonight!
MARK- Rolling over on his side to face Collins, who's face is unmasked.
COLLINS- "Mark, the question we have to withstand now is the question of..."
MARK- Shaking his head. "No, we don't. It's quite clarified."
COLLINS- "Is it? You may think you've clarified all that you need to, but if you are as uptight about this as you are about failure when it comes to movie productions gone bad, then you have not even begun clarification."
MARK- "And how exactly am I supposed to find clarification in a situation I am unwilling to admit even happened?"
COLLINS- Nodding. "That is where you start. Admission. Admission that the events of that night led to events of other nights."
MARK- "How can I admit that when my mind, up until this point, pushed that night to the back?"
COLLINS- "Mark. You've got to start with the basics. Who was he?
MARK- "A friend. Daniel. He...friend is an overstatement. Accomplice. We never told each other anything. " Pausing and propping his head up on his right palm. "It was when we first started college. Before Benny, Daniel was my roommate. And then when Benny came along, Daniel got jealous. Jealous that I had actually made a friend. The fights that came...verbal more than anything, but physical at points. It became heated. Sexually heated. Then, one night, with Benny watching tv in the living quarters, Daniel led me to my room. That's where it began."
COLLINS- "With Benny in the living area."
MARK- Blushing, yet again. "We thought we were being quiet."
COLLINS- "We do that time and again." Winking.
MARK- "Daniel led me to my bed, sat me down, and straddled me. When he kissed me, I felt fear. But when it became passionate, it felt so right. I stopped struggling. I wanted him more than ever."
COLLINS- "You thought about this beforehand?"
MARK- "I did. Daniel was always gorgeous to me. But I was not gay. I'm not gay."
COLLINS- "So he kissed you and your feelings were revealed. Did he feel the same way?
MARK- "No. He was only in it for the sex. I knew that the minute...the minute it ended, when no words were spoken. But I pursued him none the less. For a week straight, I found myself at his door, begging for the first night to repeat itself. And repeat itself it did. Seven days in a row, I found myself stumbling back, weak, at my apartment-dorm door. Benny was always there for me. Until one night when I did not return. I had run, like I always had. Daniel didn't chase after me, and that did not surprise me. Benny searched, and even found me, but I refused to go back where the memories stank like a foul odor. I found myself alone, only me and my camera to keep company. And now Benny comes knocking at my door, wanting my help. After I betrayed him. Left him to the rent."
COLLINS- Reaching out to stroke Mark's hair.
MARK- "For a while, Benny would come and check on me. Making sure I was eating, sleeping, drinking. For a while, I refused his aide. But I found myself on the floor crying one evening, crying out for Daniel, crying out for Benny. And Benny was there. But soon after, I pushed him away again. The last straw. I didn't see him until today. Three years later. I dropped out of college and pursued a directing career. That has gotten shit nowhere."
COLLINS- "Feel better?"
MARK- "Yeah, I do." Smiling. "Thanks."
COLLINS- "Promise me that you'll talk to Roger about this. You've got to open up to him. You're the closest he's ever gotten with a friend."
MARK- "What about you?"
COLLINS- "That is a story for a different time, boyo." Chuckling as Mark sits up.
MARK- Sighing and stretching his arms out in front of him. "Can I admit to you something?
COLLINS- Nodding.
MARK- "When I met Roger, I was immediatelly remind of Daniel."
COLLINS- Frowning and then winking. "So pursue it, honey!"
MARK- "With Roger? I'd be scared. He's quite intimidating. And straight."
COLLINS- "Anyone could be strayed. It's called alcohol, darling."
MARK- "I don't drink."
COLLINS- Jaw dropping. "Well, Mark, I think it's due time you start."
MARK- Protesting through his eyes.
COLLINS- Standing and pulling Mark up with him. "C'mon, we've got to get your minds off things. I never said you had to get drunk. Just that you need to get some into your system. You're with me, now. You're going to have to get used to it. Stoli man!" Dragging Mark out of the room by the arm despite the younger boy's protests.