#16 - Need - Expanded

oooooooooooooooooooo

Lee watched her suck back yet another shot of ambrosia. It was her ninth? tenth? in the last hour? He'd lost count. It had become a common routine since she'd returned from New Caprica - she'd drink till she nearly passed out then stagger to her bunk and snore her way through six hours till her next shift started.

He couldn't complain about her performance though - despite being drunk every night, she flew like she always had, perfectly. It was the rest of her life that worried him. Or rather, her non-life. If she wasn't flying, fixing or writing reports, she was drunk. It was obvious for everyone to see that she was self-destructing, but no one dared approach her about it. She was still Starbuck after all, and drunk she was even more likely to knock out your teeth then tell you to get the frak out of her life. He knew all too well - he'd tried when she'd first come back, but obviously the wounds had been too raw. He'd thought that would change over time, but she wasn't giving it a chance to heal, just pretending the pain wasn't there. Typical Kara. But Lee knew, better than anyone, that no matter how hard she tried to bury her pain, it always found it's back up and eventually she was going to have to deal with it. And he would be there, waiting.

"Hey, that's my glass," she slurred as Lee took it and put it out of her reach.

"Not anymore. You've had enough Kara."

Her eyes met his, full of defiance and anger.

"Who're you to decide I've had enough?" she demanded, barely able to talk.

"A concerned friend."

"Friend, yah, friend ... whatever," she said, waving her hand around wildly. "I don't have friends." She giggled, then immediately became serious. "I don't have anybody, really, not no one ... not nobody."

Lee saw the change in her and recognized the danger. It was time to get her to bed before she became even more melancholy. Usually she was a fun drunk, but every once in a while she turned morose and lashed out at people, especially people who were trying to help her.

The rest of the pilots, sensing the uncomfortable atmosphere, made their excuses and left quickly.

"Come on Kara, let's get you to bed."

She cocked a curious eyebrow at him. "Are you actually propositioning me Lee? How sweet!" She smiled and clutched his arm for support as she stood up. "I accept."

Lee rolled his eyes but put an arm around her waist to steady her as they walked down the corridors.

"You know," she whispered conspiratorially. "I really didn't think you were interested in me anymore."

She leaned so close he could feel her breath against his ear. "But I'm glad you are. I've been waiting for this for years."

Lee cursed himself with every four-letter word he could think of as he felt himself rise. This was not what he had in mind for comforting her and getting her to open up to him. She was perfectly capable of seeming to open up completely during sex and then acting like a total stranger afterwards.

He fervently prayed she would pass out when they reached the bunkroom ... or sooner even. Carrying her dead weight would be preferable to rejecting her advances and adding to her pain.

Unfortunately the gods didn't seem to be listening.

She smiled seductively once the hatch was shut.

Lee took a deep breath and counted to ten ... then began to undress her.

"Well, I never pictured you as the alpha-male type. It's good to be wrong." She smiled playfully.

"Kara, I'm helping you get to bed. Alone. In your own bed."

She pouted. "But I thought ..."

"You thought wrong," he interrupted firmly. "This isn't what you need right now."

"But it is." She came over to him and pressed herself against him, throwing her arms around his neck. "It's exactly what I need now. A way to forget."

He extricated himself from her grasp. "You don't need to forget. You need to remember."

"I don't want to remember!" she blazed angrily. "I want to forget everything and move on!" She moved against him again. "You can help me forget. Only you Lee. You're the only one who can help me."

She rubbed herself against his rising manhood. "You want to, I know you do. You can't deny it." She pressed her lips to his, surprisingly gently considering her mood.

He pulled away, after tasting her for a few seconds. "I do want you ... but I want to help you and I know doing this won't help. You need to talk to me. Tell me what's hurting you and let me be your friend."

"I don't need a friend! I don't need anyone!" she yelled. "Just frak off and leave me alone!"

Lee caught a glimmer of what was going on in her head and realization dawned. He couldn't leave her, or let her go like he usually did. She really did want him to stay, even if her words said otherwise.

He strode across the room and took her in his arms fiercely, encircling her so she couldn't escape.

"Lee! Le go of me!" she screamed, struggling weakly against him.

He shook his head.

"Get the frak off me! LET ME GO!"

They stood together for a moment while she fought him like a wildcat, screaming and hitting wherever her fists could reach, Lee taking the hits but refusing to get angry with her and refusing to let go. He knew she needed this catharsis and though he'd be bruised in the morning, he was glad he was the one here with now, not someone who'd back down in the face of her anger, or take advantage of her when she was most vulnerable.

Finally the screaming and beating subsided and she melted into his arms, sobbing. He held her firmly, one had around her waist while the other stroked her hair lovingly till the crying stopped altogether.

He led her to her bunk and gently laid her down, pulling the blanket up to cover her near-nakedness. He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead, letting his lips linger for just a fraction of a second longer than necessary, letting her know he did care.

As he pulled away, her arm snaked out of the covers and grabbed one of his.

"Don't go. I need you Lee," she whispered.

He was about to resist, guessing what she had in mind, but one look into those shattered green eyes and he knew she was finally opening up to him.

He stripped off his uniform and crawled in beside her. She curled up against him like a frightened child as he put his arms around her.

She began to cry quietly. "I need you Lee - don't leave me. Don't ever leave me."

"Never."

That was the day things changed between them. She'd opened up to him and there was no turning back.

They were married a year later.

fin