I was surprised by the welcome I received from Ranger's family, I can't remember when I've been hugged and kissed so many times by strangers. Must have been pledge week back in college. What really threw me was how everyone seemed to know who I was, they mentioned things I'd done in the past and made sure to let me know there were plenty of delicious desserts we would be having. It dawned on me that Ranger has been talking to his family about me, I never assumed he spoke about me outside of the Merrymen but it would appear I was wrong.
We made it a couple of steps into the family room and Ranger was attacked by a gaggle of nieces and nephews. He lifted each of them up, some of them upside down or two at a time delighting the little ankle biters, I had to smile at all the squeals I was hearing. They obviously loved their uncle; I mean who wouldn't love Batman? I like kids but my only exposure has been Mary Lou's boys who aren't that bad but they are constantly getting into everything. Eddie's kids make Hell's Angels look tame and I feel judged by my oldest niece. I feel a bit self-conscious around kids but Ranger doesn't seem to have that problem.
Everything seems so damn effortless to him, being charming with his family, commanding a company full of tough guys, running at the speed of sound without breaking a sweat. While Ranger was always handsome, today he took my breath away. Recently he had cut his hair and it was now slicked back, it was definitely still long enough for me to play with, if I ever got the chance to and there was the beginning of stubble on this perfect face. He was Classic Ranger in black and grays with some simple trousers that hugged his butt in all the right places, a lightweight sweater that hung exquisitely on his wide shoulders and he had the sleeves pulled up his forearms with some worn leather boots to complete the look. GQ should be calling him at any moment or Men's Health, don't want to leave out that his body is the perfect physical specimen. I love seeing the veins in his arms, it's probably a prehistoric urge in me to be pulled to the strong hunter. Oh my God, Ranger as Tarzan in a loincloth!
My musings are interrupted by his siblings descending on me rather quickly, Ranger had warned me that I would probably be questioned quite a bit so I was ready but it was mild by Burg standards. Once all the initial excitement died down everyone scattered to different areas of the house. The kids went back to playing, the teenagers back to their phones, and a couple of the sisters were in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on some hors d'oeuvres. I couldn't tell you what they were making but it smelled divine. I was praying that the beast would stay quiet, if my stomach decided to embarrass me in front of Ranger's family, I was totally planning to put it off on Lester.
Ricardo Manoso, Sr. was strikingly good looking for a man of his age or not, he was almost as tall as Ranger, and you could tell he was built solidly. He had a light dusting of gray at his temples and a deep voice, it was easy to picture Ranger at his age. My mind flashed to Ranger at 60, holding his first grandchild, still looking devilishly handsome. I blinked my eyes hard to get an image out of my head that had no business being there.
Ranger's father, his brother Ramon and his Uncle Manny were chatting about the President withdrawing troops out of the Middle East. Ranger and the rest of the Merrymen seemed not be interested in the conversation but rather what was playing on ESPN. I vaguely remembered Ranger's mother Luisa, I know she was at the hospital after Scrog but now that I am in my right mind I can fully take her in. I was surprised at how petite a woman she is, her full black hair flowed below her shoulder and sported what must be the original 1000-watt smile. She brought me over to a couch with two of her daughters that I think is Celia and Gabriela, the oldest and youngest respectively of all the children. I glance across the room where Ranger is standing with some of the guys and he's smiling at me, I give him a shoulder shrug and take my seat with the ladies. Luisa is munching on a snack and I'm trying to very casually look around the room to see where it came from with no success. The sisters and Luisa seem to have an easy relationship, talking back and forth with genuine interest in what the other is saying and I've yet to hear an argument out of them or how they are such a disappointment to their mother. I was feeling a twinge of jealousy that was short lived because my spidey sense started going off and then I heard the reason why when Uncle Manny began addressing Ranger.
"What do you think about that Carlos? You've got firsthand experience; soldiers going overseas and then want to proclaim to anyone that will listen that they were "made into" monsters. It's ridiculous, you take a man and give him the proper training and the goal to liberate these poor people and help them put an actual government in place. Nothing about that says you've got to go to extremes. I've read numerous stories of soldiers killing women and children over there or they've come back to the States and are homeless or your run of the mill criminal. Just the other night on GNB News they interviewed an ex-soldier that killed two people when he got back, it sounded like he got a taste for blood over there and didn't want to turn it off."
On that sentiment he lifted the glass he was holding to emphasize his point, the clinking of ice was deafening because the room had gone silent. Ranger's brother attempted to shift the conversation to a new law that was just passed but it didn't hold much interest for Uncle Manny as he only acknowledged the comment for a few seconds before turning his attention back towards Ranger.
"I know you have murdered people, for your country of course but in your experience, do you think most soldiers have an innate predisposition for violence, a bloodlust so insatiable that allows them to take another human's life? I know before you joined you were a bit of a bad seed, joining that gang and getting arrested, then you were sent to live with your abuela. I know my sister raised you in a way any Cuban would be proud of but something I guess went wrong with you. Nothing against my sister, I know she tried her best but you've never been especially expressive, perhaps that is a common theme amongst soldiers, lacking emotions and a connection to a higher power. I don't know what to make of it, no doubt it is hard to take a life, do you feel you have lost part of yourself over the years, part of your soul even?"
What the actual fuck?! My eyes had to have been as big as saucers, I am used to the queen of inappropriate questions, i.e. my mother but this guy is putting her to shame. The tension was palpable but only Uncle Manny looked oblivious to the shift. At first Luisa, Celia and Gabriella were awkwardly trying to continue their conversation while trying to listen in but were failing miserably, syllables were uttered here and there until they all finally gave up and stared at Ranger. Lester and Bobby were nearest to me sitting on a sofa but too far for me to hear what Lester said under his breath. Tank was standing next to the sofa and the closest next to Ranger, he looked ready to hold Ranger back if necessary even though this was his family. I mean he all but called him a psychotic murdering lunatic, family or not I would have used my knee to let him know how my soul was doing.
I waited for something to happen but nothing did, I looked over at Ranger standing next to a beautiful bay window, I fully expected his scary face or blank face but what was there was pretty much devoid of emotion except for an expression I couldn't place. I looked back towards the guys and I didn't seem to be the only one that was perplexed by his reaction. I'd never seen someone actually dare to insult Ranger except for Morelli's rants but that was mostly when Ranger wasn't around but if I had, I never envisioned Ranger to stand there and not do anything about it. His uncle seemed to be waiting for an answer, swirling the ice cubes around in his glass with what could aptly be described as a smug look.
The faces around the room were a mix of pissed off and shock, his mother looked disappointed and embarrassed, but the sisters were staring a hole in their pompous uncle. I was glad to see that his father looked angry at the besmudging comments about his son as did his brother, so why wasn't anyone saying anything, especially Ranger. I get weird family dynamics I really do, after all my grandma has shot the Christmas goose more times that I can count but we never sit silently about it. Then like a ton of bricks it hit me, the look on Ranger's face, it was resignation, guilt, acceptance; oh my god he believes the shit his uncle just said!
Whenever I have tried to push Ranger's boundaries about relationships, one of his frequent comments was that there were things about him that if I knew, would make me question if I wanted him in my life at all. I know he takes all his missions seriously, he cares deeply about the men that serve with him and while he has never talked to me about it specifically, I know that some missions have been very hard for him. He doesn't take joy in harming others, he's only taken a life when it was necessary to protect someone he loves or himself or in the line of duty, he is certainly NOT a murderer. Ranger couldn't or wouldn't stand up for himself because a part of him believed what Uncle Manny said was true but he was dead wrong and I'll be damned if I let him think it to be true for one more minute. I realize this wasn't the type of family that typically causes a scene at family functions but I'm an expert at it, I had been nervous about what Ranger's family would think of me but to hell with first impressions.
This guy was insulting not only Ranger but the guys and all the men back at Rangeman since many of them are ex-military. They are my friends, my brothers even but what hurt worse than anything was the pain I saw in Ranger's face that he was accepting this bullshit. All the times he has told me about trying to repair his karma, I knew it was a heavy burden on his heart and these comments were piercing him. I know he looks at me often, as I do him, but he hasn't once looked my direction at all, he seemed to be avoiding the area I was occupying altogether. I felt the rhino growing inside of me but this felt different, this was a deadly serious contempt and a white hot controlled anger directed right at one Uncle Manny.
I didn't want to yell; I didn't want to wave my arms around in the air or stomp my feet despite what my Italian genes were screaming at me to do. I wanted my words to be heard crystal clear without any distractions. The man standing across from me has saved my life countless times, he holds me when I'm afraid, smiles at my stupid jokes, accepts me for who I am. He is the only person that supports me unconditionally and is proud of me no matter how many impulsive or stupid choices I've made.
I might be the joke of Trenton, people can say whatever they want about me but not Ranger. He doesn't deserve it, I might not ever be welcomed to this house again but one thing I've learned from Ranger is that sometimes you just have to say to hell with it.
Once I decided I would speak up, before I knew it my mouth was opening, "just who are you to question if Ranger has a soul?"
I almost didn't recognize the voice as my own, the words I heard were spoken firmly, the tone was menacing and at least an octave lower than normal. An indignant look appeared on Uncle Manny's face with a mix of shock, I could tell this was going to be a new experience for him.
"Excuse me?"
"You aren't excused."
"You are the female bounty hunter, we've all heard um….stories." He quirked his head to the side assessing me. He reminded me of an old classmate I had in debate club, they loved to 'debate' anything despite how pointless it was. The type of person that felt they were a little bit better than everyone else. "I think I know who and what my nephew is, I've known his whole life in fact."
"You know absolutely nothing about Ranger, if you did you wouldn't be making these not-so-subtle passive aggressive comments. He's the best man I've ever known, someone I look up to, that I admire. Has he killed people? Yes, he's a soldier and that is part of the sacrifice that he has made to protect others. But guess what Uncle Manny, so have I. You want to know about the state of his soul? Let me end the mystery for you, it's beautiful and pure and gentle. Whatever he is, I am as well."
Uncle Manny's mouth opened to speak but I wasn't finished yet.
"Did I breathe and give you the impression I was done talking? I'm not through. How dare you stand there and practically call him a murderer and by extension all the men that have served with him. He's been put in situations you and I can't possibly fathom, he's put his body and soul on the line to defend you and me and everyone else in this damn country and he deserves a hell of a lot better than what you are giving him. He's built a business that is respected and successful that contributes to the community. I am so damn proud of him. He's my best friend, I wouldn't be the person I am today without him and I will not hear you speak one more ill word about him. You will speak to him with the respect he deserves or you can just keep your damn mouth closed and if you need assistance with that, it would be my pleasure."
I never broke eye contact with Uncle Manny, I knew I was tapping into my own Ranger stare. I was determined to make him look away first, to hopefully see some shame in him for the things he was saying. His mouth had popped open and closed but no words found their way out, he took a sip of his drink and studied the tops of his shoes. I felt myself shaking I was so mad, the sting of tears I knew was pooling in my eyes but I wouldn't allow that to happen here. As my anger faded, I noticed that at some point I must have stood up during my diatribe, I quickly sat back on the couch and worked to even my breathing out. I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye. Ranger's family were nervously shifting around, some were trying to hold in smiles and failing, giving me looks that I didn't have the energy to try to figure out what they meant. Once again, I had caused a scene but this time it was all in front of Ranger's family. I didn't want to look at him, I was worried I had embarrassed him because that is what I do, embarrass the people I care about in my life.
I decided to play it safe and looked in the direction of the guys, they solemnly gave me the slightest of head nods, but Lester also sent me a wink. My brow furrowed a little confused. I could feel Ranger's eyes on me but I couldn't make myself look at him. I saw his feet moving quite clearly though since I was so astutely admiring the silvery gray carpet. His perfect feet stopped right in front of me and his large hands came down and gently took hold of my arms, lifting me to my feet. My bottom lip found its way between my teeth and then a finger appeared under my chin, I knew I had to look at him at some point so I reluctantly allowed him to lift my face. I couldn't take it if Ranger were upset with me but I maybe I deserved it, when I met his eyes I was surprised by what I found. His face was full of reverence, his eyes were soft, he seemed to almost be in awe but I wasn't sure of what. I think everyone in the room was watching us and we watched each other but I couldn't look from his eyes to be sure. I felt butterflies in my stomach as he continued staring into my eyes, we've known each other so long now but this feeling has never left me since the day we met. I'm sure it has something to do with his Cuban God status.
We stood almost chest to chest and ugh, what a chest he has, just thinking of holding onto those shoulders had me feeling woozy. Its pitiful how handsome this man is, downright criminal. The he smiled at me and I feel like I've been hit with a ray of sunshine, somewhere in my mind I hear birds singing, flowers blooming and my heart is doing little backflips. I smile back at him, perhaps goofily but I'm under his spell and really don't care at this moment. His fingertips play against my arms before he grabs my hands and says he knows where he can snag a piece of cake.
Before I can speak, his sisters and mother swoop in and pull Ranger away from me. This is it; they are going to tell him what a disrespectful person I am and to get me the hell out of their house. In the Burg, they would just deliver the message themselves, I guess they try to be more discrete here. I find myself alone with the guys, Uncle Manny has disappeared and Ranger's brother and father followed after the women. I turned to face the guys and sigh, awaiting my fate.