Well, that could have gone better. Why can't I have one holiday that is normal? As a kid I loved to watch The Brady Bunch, the kids mostly got along but in the times they didn't you still saw they loved each other. Mr. and Mrs. Brady were always encouraging, and they had those fun potato sack races or the time they put on that whole play in their backyard. If my family ever tried to put on a play it would seem like a rendition of "Goodfellas." You walk into a room expecting to get made and you are shot right in the head, 'boom!' We didn't shoot each other but the verbal arguments were pretty epic.

I've gone back to sitting on the couch, shoulders slumped to epic proportions, the boys make their way over to sit all around me.

"Well fellas, I guess I don't have to worry about being added to their Christmas card list."

I lean my head over on the extra-large shoulder next to me, I'm surprised by how comfortable Tank is considering his muscles are similar to a small rock boulder. I feel so very tired and just want to go home, I should go apologize to the family for my outburst but I haven't worked up the nerve. A tear pops out of my overflowing eyes onto my rock pillow, shit. A tissue is placed under my face and I dab at the tears, careful not to smear any makeup.

The three men around me are looking at each other with concern and panic, most men aren't good with tears but these guys should be used to it from me. Bobby breaches the silence asking why I was crying, I should think it would be obvious.

"Let me see, I semi-threatened to kick the ass of Ranger's uncle and then the entire family escorts Ranger out of the room Secret Service style like I'm Oswald. Not exactly how I pictured this party going tonight."

"Little Girl, nothing ever goes how we picture it to when you are involved. Don't you cry anymore tears over this, you stood up for Ranger and all of us. You did good."

I gave a weak smile to Tank and looked at Lester and Bobby to see if they felt the same way. My guys always had my back and I had theirs, I was just hoping that Ranger would feel the same way.

Several minutes passed by without anyone entering back into the living room, the guys had made themselves comfortable and were watching ESPN again. Lester was on the couch with me, cuddling me into his side. It was just what I needed to quell my emotions, it's normally what Ranger does but Les was a good substitute. I took advantage of the quiet to examine my surroundings, it was very warm and inviting. You could tell this was a highly used room, the furniture was all arranged so the main focus was whoever your guests were and not directed solely at the television. I saw a photo of a little boy in a silver frame on the end table, I picked it up to take a closer look, something about the boy was familiar. I'm not good with knowing the age of kids but I would guess about 5 years old. He was sitting cross legged under a tree with a small white dog cradled in his lap, the little boy had high cheekbones and smooth straight black hair, his mocha latte skin was perfect as were his dark chocolate eyes. I knew who it was, seems even then Ranger had a good 1000-yard stare. He was absolutely gorgeous and I couldn't stop looking at the photo.

"That's Ranger. Hard to believe he was ever a kid, right?"

I looked over at Lester to see his easy smile, I only nodded and kept looking at Toddler Ranger.

"That was in the summer, he was around 6 years old and that was his dog Princess."

My eyebrows shot up at the name and Lester laughed, Batman had a cute little white dog that he named Princess? The dog had to be around 10 lbs, I couldn't help but giggle too, you would think he had a tough looking dog like a Doberman or Rottweiler named Butch.

"Lester, what does mi querida mean?" Ranger had been saying that quite often to me lately and I had decided I would ask one of the guys what it meant. The opportunity never presented itself when I've tried to ask before so while Lester and I were sitting in a little cocoon alone for the most part, I thought this was as good of a time as any.

He gives a smile and pinches my cheek and says my darling, his eyes sparkling with mischief. I roll my eyes and glare at this green-eyed devil.

"Can you save your flirting for later Lester, just tell me, what does it mean?" The last part comes out in a whine and I'm sure my lips pouted out of their own volition.

He lets out a bark of laughter that gets the attention of Bobby and Tank as well, I see them trying to hold in their laughter. I guess they weren't paying as much attention to ESPN as I thought.

"I'm telling you what it means Beautiful, it means 'my darling'."

He raises his eyebrow and asks who has been calling me that but the look in his eyes says he already knows. My eyes inadvertently dart in the direction of Ranger's exit and Lester follows them, I don't know why but I begin to feel a little embarrassed and look down at my hands in my lap. Holy Snickers, since when do I sit like my mother and grandmother? I give myself a firm mental head slap and I quickly place my hands under my thighs. It makes me feel much warmer and gooier than it should to know Ranger has been calling me darling. Now that I know the meaning, I desperately want to hear the word spill over his soft powerful lips.

I can feel Lester staring at me, he pulls his arm back from across my shoulder and I immediately miss it. He turns on the couch so he can look directly at me. Looking up into his face, I'm taking in the view of just how beautiful his eyes are but then I notice that he has a serious look on his face for once. He leans forward toward and grabs hold of my hand, this is suddenly feeling all too serious, Bobby and Tank have similar looks.

"Beautiful, my cousin is a very brave man. I've followed him into so many situations that I was convinced I wouldn't make it out of and I'm not alone in that." He nods his head toward Bobby and Tank. "He's always been able to command, people trust him immediately. In all the times that we have been through hell and back, I can't recall a time when I've seen him afraid. Showing fear is a luxury he's never been able to afford to do so he's become a master of hiding his emotions. Not to say I never saw him nervous, but I never saw him afraid, not until the last couple of years. There is one thing that scares him more than any bullet, blade, bomb or fist ever could and that thing is you."

My eyebrows shoot high up my forehead and my mouth hits the floor, my voice shrieks so high it hurts my own ears, "what?! He isn't afraid of me!"

"Steph, you could hurt him far worse than any of those things and he knows that he wouldn't survive you. His instincts tell him you are a danger to his self-preservation, everything he has built around himself that has kept him alive, it's kept people away, the demons at bay and you threaten that. You might have noticed he is a bit of a control freak." I make a louder than expected snort, to say Ranger is a control freak is like saying the Pope is Catholic.

"To protect himself, to keep the situation in his control, he keeps a distance between you and him but the control he thinks he has, it's all an illusion. All of us know that he can't stay away from you, it's so obvious to everyone but you and him how he feels about you and what he wants."

"No, you have it wrong. He cares about me yes but he doesn't want more than a friendship..." Lester holds a hand up to my face. Um, excuse me?

"Hear Santos out on this, Bomber. Ranger gives himself the illusion that if he had to, he can be the one to walk away, to say no. If he gave into how he feels and you walked away from him, he wouldn't recover from that. I can't remember Ranger ever being in a relationship, he has definitely had a lot of women. It's not really fair how easy it's always been for him, there was this one chick he blew off and I was able to…"

"Bobby! I don't really want to hear about all of that." I hiss at him.

"Ignore him Beautiful, besides if anyone got the discards the most it was me."

Just when I think my eyes can't roll any further back in my head, the guys prove that I was wrong.

"Anyway, he says to you in Spanish what he's afraid to open himself up enough to say in English. He's afraid that he's not good enough for you, that you will turn him down. He loves you more than life itself, when you are in danger or he hasn't seen you for a few days, we can all tell. He is a miserable ass to everyone. The times you've gone back to the cop, we all know. When he needs you, we all know. He tries to hide it and he does a damn good job of it but we've been together so long, there's no hiding from each other."

I wonder if what Lester is saying is true, I know that when it's been a few days since I've seen Ranger that I get a little uneasy. I wouldn't say I get grumpy but there have been times that Lula says I've got a stick up my ass. Something happens when I do see him, it feels like if you could lay inside of a warm chocolate chip cookie, it's like being home. Makes me feel happier than even having my favorite Tastycake or a Boston Crème. My mind wanders to thoughts of Tastycake and Ranger combined and I feel myself getting lost in the euphoria until Tank interrupts my thoughts.

"He was lost to us for a long time, he was lost to everyone really, his family, from the world. When he met you, you sparked something inside of him. He has been in places that are literally hell on earth, seen and done things that make you question…," Tank pauses for a moment looking down to study the carpet similarly as I did a few moments before, "it was like he was wandering alone in the darkness. Everyone changes after they've been in battle and some go to a place they never are able to return from, being in the special forces and commanding men, doing black ops, you need something to ground you. He found that in you. He's come back to life, he's happy again. You are his other half; I've never believed in soulmates but seeing the two of you, it's real, true love is real…it's made me reconsider everything."

I feel a familiar tingle on the back of my neck, there's no need to turn around because I know who is there. Lester gives my hand a little squeeze as I hear that beautiful rich voice I've come to love.

"Babe, can I speak to you?"