Oh! I never though that my first fic would receive so many reviews! Thank you all that reviewed and who read it!
I'm sorry that I don't reply all the reviews, but I will try my best!
Chapter VII – I have never ignored you.
Like a flash, three months had passed since Hinata and Neji's wedding.
The couple was still living in that small apartment in the commercial district of the Hyuga compound. They were adjusting their married life with the shinobi life; not an easy task. They hardly saw each other. Being a jounin required from Neji a lot of time away from home. Hinata was taking missions with her chunnin team and Kurenai-sensei, and she was also spending some time in the Hospital, as a medic-nin trainee.
Tsunade (after Sakura's insistence) decided to teach the Hyuga girl. Hinata was not as talented as Sakura, but her byakugan and her knowledge of herbs was very useful, not to mention the girl's dedication!
During those three months, Hinata and Neji's relationship became closer. Neji was paying attention to his wife, and turning to look at her when spoke (it was a superb evolution!). Hinata was stuttering and shaking less in husband's presence, and also had learned how to identify the "moods" of him (it was very useful to avoid bashes!).
Nothing had changed at all in their lives. So, to be short, they were doing great!
Great, like roommates...
Yeah, he was still sleeping in the study room. Hinata tried to bring the "bedroom" subject once or twice, but his response was: nonsense. Why do you want to rush things? Nobody is spying on us, is it? So while they believe that we had done that we'll be fine. Or, when he was on really bad mood, he would say: I thought you wanted Naruto to be your first.
She dropped the subject after a few answers like the last one….
Hinata was just back from her last mission.
She was telling Neji all about it during the dinner, and when she finished he said:
"Your father wants to see us, as soon as possible"
"What does he want?" – She was feeling that terrible sensation in the bottom of her stomach.
"He didn't tell".
The following morning, Hinata and Neji were sat in front of Hiashi.
"You two seem to be doing fine."
No response. They knew he was just starting, and they also had learned to keep their mouths shut in the presence of the Hyuga leader.
"I've received good reviews from your missions, Hinata. You are more confident, as far as I can see. And you are doing a splendid job as a jounin, Neji. I heard from Tsunade herself!"
"But I didn't call you here to talk about this. I want to know what your expectations for future are."
This was a tricky question, they could feel it. Hinata started her absolute trademark: poking her index fingers. Neji, when saw her doing that, really wanted to snap her hands, but his face remained impassive.
"Well…I'm waiting…." – this was bad. Hiashi would not wait long… Neji looked at Hinata, and she was looking at him, no one had an idea of what to say. And then, like a responsible husband, Neji gave the first step:
"I want to become stronger. Become one of the elite jounins in Konoha, since I can't be in the ANBU." – Hiashi lifted an eyebrow waiting for something, but Neji spoke no more.
"I I I I want t t t to be a m m m m m m medic-nin…….."
This time, Hiashi moved a little in his place.
"Why a medic-nin?"
"I w w w w want to h h h help p p people. I I I'm a b b b better h h h healer than f f f fighter" – and that was a dangerous answer, Hinata knew it the second after she pronounced the sentence. Neji realized that too…
"Hinata. You'll be the Hyuga leader one day. Even though your husband is a powerful shinobi, you can't rely on him always. You must have strength yourself, acquire power."
"B b b but Father…."
"Your whish to become a medic-nin is remarkable, but you must put your position in the clan first".
"Hiashi-sama, If Hinata has to acquire power by herself, then my role as her protector and husband is unnecessary. She is absolutely capable of gain the proper strength and take care of herself and the clan".
Neji was playing a dangerous game, and he knew that Hiashi was a good player too.
"I see your point, Neji. You are right. In order to protect Hinata you must be more powerful than her, at least in a better position in the shinobi's ranks".- and Neji felt that the man was playing mind games. Hinata understood where her husband was trying to lead the conversation, but somehow it was going in the wrong way…
"Very well, then. Neji, I'll give you the permission to join the ANBU". – Neji's eyes widened, clearly surprised by that sudden display of generosity of his uncle.
"Hinata, I'll bless your career as a medic-nin, with one condition... for both" – she gulped loudly by those words.
"You must reach the jounin level in the next Jounin Tests, Hinata. And Neji, you must make sure she will receive the proper training and fulfill the task
"Have I made myself clear?"
"Yes, sir" – both said, in a cold monotone voice.
That was the trick: Hinata wanted to be a medic-nin, but she also needed to be jounin first. Neji wanted to join the ANBU, but he needed to be a rank superior to Hinata. If Hinata remained a chunnin, Neji would never be in ANBU. If Neji decided to remain a jounin, Hinata would not get the jounin promotion and the permission to be a medic-nin.
Caged and chained….again.
They remained silent about the matter the rest of the day. But during the dinner, Hinata brought the discussion up:
"S s so…..w w w what are y y y you g g going to do, niisan?"
"What do YOU want to do?"
"I don't mind being a chunnin at all…."- and then he looked at her very coldly – "I wanted to be a medic-nin, but if it is very diffic…."
"Already giving up? It is soo like you, dear cousin." – He gave her one of those deadly glares, like those he fired at their first chunnin test.
"I I I think I c c can't be a a j j jounin…..n n not yet….."
"Well, I think I can be an ANBU already. And, as far as it concerns me, I won't give up".
"So….It means…………."
"We start the training tomorrow, OK"- he simply stood up, did the dishes and walked to his room.
"Ok" – she murmured to no one.
Hinata stood there, in the dinning table, staring the opposite wall. Her father made his point again. She didn't want to be a jounin, she was not fit, and it required fierce spirit, strength, cold blood. She was a healer, someone who liked to make people feel better, not harm others! But Neji had everything a jounin and an ANBU required, and he would never give up, never let escape his only chance. Besides, in those three months, he made very clear who was the boss in that apartment.
Hinata was surely a luck girl. In her first day training with her husband (and not forgiving teacher), she overslept.
When she woke up, Neji had already left the apartment. Without taking breakfast, grabbed her training stuff and rushed to the training areas of the compound, cursing herself and fearing his rage.
To arrive less late (if possible) she decided to take a shortcut trough the laundry area. That is where she overheard a conversation between a Main house female and her servant girl:
"I don't think that marriage of the successor is real. They don't act like married couple!"
"Since it is an arranged marriage, it doesn't mind. What is really important is to assure lineage. It had been three months and no sign of babies at all!"
"Hiashi-sama should demand them successors!"
"He thinks they are too young to be parents!"
"Huf! What the servants are for? She doesn't have to take care of the child! Just breastfeed it!"
That conversation pissed her a lot. Not because the baby part, but the way Hyugas were watching her married life with Neji. So they are spying on us after all...
She finally reached the training grounds and, to her surprise, Neji wasn't alone.
His teammate Tenten was there. They were both sat in the shadow of a tree, a seemed like in a middle of a happy conversation.
Hinata felt uneasy, somehow betrayed. Nothing was going on, but Neji seemed relaxed in his friend's presence, a way he never was by her side.
She was just walking away when he called her:
"Where have you been? We have been waiting for more than two hours, y'know?"
"Hi, Hinata-chan!" – Tenten waved to her, a big smile on her face.
Hinata had no other choice than go to where they were.
"I'm sorry, I ….overslept"- she was so defeated, waiting for a big scold and some hard words that never came….
"Well, let's start. Tenten, position yourself …"- Neji said, walking a few steps away from the two girls- "You are going to practice the Kaiten. Defense will be our priority".
Hinata never understood his calm and let go attitude after her delay. She could only say that at home the big scold would come out. She was expecting it to come, or something would be very very wrong!
The three trained together the whole day. Tenten fired her weapons at Hinata, who was supposed to use Kaiten to block them. It was very hard to master Kaiten, since the technique required an absolute control of chakra. But, by the end of the afternoon, she was able to perform an almost perfect Kaiten defense. Tenten congratulated her for this! Neji himself took a long time to understand Kaiten and perform it like that. Obviously, Tenten was forgetting that Neji had to study and learn Kaiten by himself, and now he was teaching Hinata...
Tenten grabbed Neji's arm and said:
"Hey! Why don't we go to Ichiraku's to have dinner?"
"Well...I'm a bit hungry..." – Said Neji, looking to Hinata, waiting for her answer.
Hinata was away, contemplating the picture of her husband and Tenten hooked on his arm. That funny sensation in the bottom of her stomach started again. She felt misplaced and decided to not go into the ramen shop.
"I I I'll t t train a little m m m more..."
"Oh, come on! Come with us! Maybe Team 7 will be there too..."- Tenten was teasing the younger girl, she really wanted Hinata to go too. Neji, on the other hand, was just staring Hinata, specially when Team 7 was mentioned and his wife blushed a little.
Seeing her blush made him a little aggressive, feeling that she still had feelings for Naruto.
"No...I'll train more. You go! H have f f fun..."- saying that, she returned to the training ground.
"So, what about us, Neji?"- Tenten asked.
"Let's get going" – he paid one last glare to Hinata, an angry one, and left with Tenten hugging his arm.
Hinata stayed in training ground, hitting the wooden pillar used for training until her knuckles were bleeding. It was around 10:00pm when she decided to go home. Neji wasn't there yet.
She took a long bath in the bathtub, and wondered why she was feeling so restless about her cousin's relation with his teammate. Of course Tenten and Neji were close, they had been partners for more than five years now, risked their lives together, trained together. Just like her, Shino and Kiba…
Thinking like this never gave her any peace in heart. So she decided to think about Naruto! It always gave her encouragement! She heard the kitchen's clock mark 11:00pm. No Neji…
Hinata went to her bed, to try to sleep. But she could not find any rest, not until she heard the keys and the door knob movement. He was home at last!
Neji walked silently trough the apartment in order to not wake Hinata. He opened a little her bedroom door, just to see if everything was Ok. Seeing her sleeping form, he rested, took a shower and went to this room to sleep.
He didn't know that she was fully awake, and crying silently…..
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The morning after, they woke up at almost the same time, had breakfast together and moved to the training ground. She never asked about his last night, nor did he about hers. But Hinata couldn't stand the silence…
"Is Tenten-san training with us today?"
"No. Today we must develop your stamina and chakra concentration."
"So, you are the one training me today…"
"Yes. Put yourself in the Juuken stance and focus the chakra in your palms…" – And this ended the conversation and started the practice.
By the middle of the afternoon, Neji interrupted the training and said:
"We stop here today. I must go to the village's Training Area 5. Gai-sensei summoned all the team to group training".
"B b but you are n no l l l long part of the t t team since you became jounin…."- she had a requesting tone – "I want you to t t train with m m me…."
"You can continue the lesson by yourself. I must go"
"But…"
"Look, this is not only about you becoming a jounin, this also about my promotion to ANBU. I need to train too!"
"But, t t t then, t t train with m m me!"
"I can't. Your fighting level is below mine. You wouldn't be a challenge. No offense."- He was really being sincere, but Hinata felt diminished.
"Your teammates are chunnin, just like me…" – her last try…
"But it is different. I'm off. See you tonight."- He simply walked away, giving no further explanation, leaving her frustrated.
She wasn't strong enough, worth of a challenge…or…he didn't want her company?
Whatever were his reasons, she continued her training, smacking the wooden pillar more and more, stronger and stronger, until the yesterday wounds in her knuckles reopened.
The night came and Hinata went home to take a shower. Neji hasn't returned (was she expecting something else?). The girl wasn't in the mood for another lone dinner, so she decided to have something in the village.
Walking in Konoha's main street, Hinata met her long adored crush: Uzumaki Naruto. He noticed her and waved, smiling happily:
"Oi! Hinata-chan!"
"N N N N Naruto-kun….(blushes) how are y y you?"
"Eeee I'm hungry! Sakura is taking the night shift in the Hospital, Sai and Kakashi-sensei are somewhere I don't know….Say, have you eat already?"
GODS GODS GODS! Was Naruto asking her for a d-a-t-e?
Hinata achieved a new and absolute shade of red. She had waited so long for him do ask her out and he did it just when she was married!
Well, he never said 'date', and since Neji was with his friends, what bad could have to have dinner with one of hers?
"I I I I h h h haven't….."
Naruto grabbed her wrists and pushed her trough the street until Ichiraku's.
They made their orders and he started talking about missions, jutsus, Sasuke, Sakura (a long time on this subject), and asked about Hinata's married life. She lied that everything was just fine.
"I knew that you two would get along" – he said smiling. Oh, such an innocent smile, such pretty blue eyes, so warm….
They were in the middle of their meals when Gai and Lee entered in the Ramen shop.
"Naruto-kun! Hinata-chan!"- shouted Lee.
"Hey! Fuzzy eyebrows! Seat here, next to us!" – And Hinata just realized that was not a date after all.
"Hi adorable young man, and lovely lady!" – greeted Gai, pointing his thumb and making his teeth sparkle (nobody knows how…).
Hinata then asked:
"Where is Neji and Tenten?" –she tried to sound calm, but her words came too fast.
"Oh! They stayed at the training area when we left half an hour ago…I think Neji was helping Tenten pack all her weapons!" – Lee answered, without noticing the worry in the young wife's voice.
Hinata stood up fast, paid for her meal and said goodbye to the men, excusing her as leaving the shop.
He said something about training area 5… maybe I should check if he is still there so I can go home and cook his dinner….Probably he stayed training more, he really want to become an ANBU….
She kept repeating it until reach the area 5. Hinata could see two figures sat in a fallen tree, talking. Avoiding activate her bloodline limit, she came as closer as possible to watch more clearly. They were still talking, then Neji stood up and Tenten did the same. He started to move when the weapon mistress held his hand and pulled him closer – Hinata gasped – and gave the Hyuga genius a long and passionate kiss.
Not wanting to see anymore, Hinata ran home, as fast as she could, gathering all her chakra in her feet. She couldn't prevent the tears from falling, she was trying to forget that kiss, but the scene kept repeating over and over in her mind.
I love Naruto. I love Naruto. Why this is hurting so much! Why he did that to me? We were getting along well! I'm not in love with Neji! I'm in love with Naruto!
Tears wet her cheeks.
She only stopped to run when reached the Hyuga training grounds, hugging the same wooden pillar she hit so hard in that same afternoon. Embracing the pillar she cried out without shame, nobody would hear her, nobody ever paid attention to her….
Why he has done that? He doesn't love me, I know. But why? Does he still hate me? Does he even respect me?
Angst took over. A massive amount of fury like she had never felt in life. To free all that rage she pummeled the poor wooden pillar, taking off shards of it, destroying what was left of her knuckles' skin, blood soaking her fists and the wood.
"Hitting continuously without focusing your chakra is pointless" – said nonchalantly a voice she knew well.
Hinata didn't stop the assault, ignoring his voice.
"You should hit less but focus your chakra and aim. Few good attacks are more effective than firing like crazy and hit nothing" (more punches).
He moved his position to see her face, but her long dark blue hair covered her tearful eyes and wet cheeks. All he could see was her clenched teeth and tense jaw.
Neji had known Hinata all his life. Neji had known anger all his life. He never saw the two together….never until now.
"What is going on? Why are you ignoring me?"
(more punches)
"Fine, I'll go home. Keep smashing your hands". – He turned away, when she suddenly spoke, slow, low but clear:
"Ignoring? I never ignored you. When your father died and you spanked me during the trainings, was cold and aggressive to me. I never ignored you. When you mentally tortured me and almost killed me in our first chunnin exam, I never ignored you. And even now, that we are living in the same house, MARRIED, you act like I don't exist. And I NEVER IGNORED YOU!"
"What. Is. Going. On?" – Neji was not used to get scolded, especially by someone as weak as Hinata. If the context was other, he would have beaten her to a pulp. But now, her display of anger and resentment was too clear to be ignored.
"So you ask? I saw you!"
"Saw what! You don't make sense!"
"I SAW THE KISS WITH TENTEN-SAN!" – Hinata was crying like a small child, sobbing.
"Oh! That." – Neji's face showed a little surprise, but he regained his stoic mode just a second after.
"You say 'that' with such calm, like it is nothing!"- she was close to him, facing him.
"It is nothing! No need to make such a fuss!"
"My! I knew you were cold, but not that much….."
"You went to the area 5?"
"I was dinning with Naruto…"
"Ah, dinning WITH Naruto…"- he made an ironic face. And this just made her angrier, more hurt than ever.
"GRRRR. Yes! I was looking for you when he invited me to have ramen and I accepted because I'm tired of having meals alone! That is when Gai-sensei and Lee-san entered the ramen shop and said that they left you and Tenten-san half an hour before. I went to the area 5, to meet you and we could go home together, when I saw …I saw…"- she was sobbing again, tears falling like crazy from her eyes. Neji took a deep breath before speaking.
"You are really stupid. Having the opportunity of your life to go out with Naruto and let it go?"
"To go after you! My husband!"
"I will say it again. I'm not in this marriage by my own free will. I've never been I'll never be. There is no love in this relationship, so as long as it doesn't come to public, we can be with whoever we want."- he said those words like he was teaching young children, softly, without irony or anger.
"You are wrong, niisan. There is love. At least, family love, cousins' love, old friends love."
"Maybe this kind of love, but not husband and wife's love."
"You should at least respect me…."- Hinata couldn't believe in that entire situation.
"You could at least let me free…"
"That is where I went wrong. I should have claimed my wife's rights from the beginning."- she was pointing a finger into his face.
"Don't tell me that you are in love with me?"- he said, slapping that finger away.
"No! I just made a promise: To be a good wife to you. I'm trying my best, but you are always screwing my efforts"
"I never asked for promises and never made them"
"So, you don't love me, not even like a friend…"
"Don't make such a drama"
"Am I unappealing to you as woman, I say."- She asked all of sudden, staring her feet and poking her fingers.
"My! You are more spoiled than I thought!"
"Am I, Neji?"
"……….."
"Am I so disgusting that you can't accept me as your wife? Am I so weak that I am not worth of your attention as a warrior?"
"Are you offering yourself to me?" – he was more infuriated than amazed.
"You just said I can be with any other guy. Isn't it the same? Haven't you offered your wife to all men in Konoha?"- her words were heavy. All her aura was like shadow.
Hearing those words, Neji gave her a sound slap on her face.
"IDIOT! Where is your pride as a Hyuga?"- he was mad. That was the worst discussion they had all their lives, words were hurting more than the Juuken they both mastered.
"My pride was destroyed the minute I saw you kissing another woman. Saying better, what was left of my pride as a human being, because the Hyuga itself swallowed the pride I had as heir, as clan member, as a person…."
"No. You never had pride at all, because you never recognized yourself as a Hyuga, as a person, like you say. That is the source of your weakness, low self esteem."
"What do you mean?"
"Who are you, Hinata?"- he was staring at her, white eyes focusing white eyes. An indecipherable expression on his face.
"W W Who A A Am I?"
"Yes. Deep inside. Who are you?"
"I I I am H H Hyuga Hinata…….."
"No. Who are you? Remove all the labels, the bloodlines, the status…..who are you?"
"I I I I am …..s s s someone that w w w wants only l l l love….to love s s s someone…..to be loved…..to be r r r recognized….to be useful"- she was crying again.
"So, live your life to it" – he just turned away, walking to their apartment. Hinata stood there, staring his back, puzzled. Who she was, he asked. Who is Hyuga Neji? How can she live in the same place as that man who hurt her so bad, no once but twice?
But he had lightened up a flame inside her. No, this time the discussion would not end when he walks away.
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Coming inside the apartment, Hinata decided to take a shower first. She put her nightgown and knocked the study room door. He didn't answer, she opened it anyway.
"You never answered me…..why you kissed Tenten-san…."
"It is not your concern" – he was lying on the futon, facing the opposite wall.
"Yes, it is. I want to know if you love her."
"No, I don't"
"Then, w w why the kiss?"
"………She kissed first…..and I felt like kissing…………." – he was not very comfortable with that. Neji never liked "love" subjects.
"Were you two lovers…..b b before our marriage?"
"No. We had some sort of relationship a year ago, but I broke up"
"Why?"
"I said it is not your concern!"
"She still loves you…"
"No. I think she just couldn't overcome the break up. It is just a crush, it will eventually fade away…"
"Not if you keep kissing her…" – she sat in the edge of the futon and he turned a little to see her face- "If you….feel like…. K k k k kissing….y y y y you h h h have a w w w wife…..to d d d do t t t that……." – she was blushing.
"Kiss. You?" – he was amused by her offering.
"Y y y y yes….I I I'm y y y your w w wife, s s s s so y y y you s s should k k k kiss me….instead of her"
"What about Naruto?"
"He has nothing to do with us."- Hinata turned her face to look directly at her husband. Neji could see she wasn't playing. And she was so beautiful that night! Her eyes were puffed due to the tears, her dark blue hair was shinning by the moonlight that was coming through the window, that lavender nightgown revealed her shape…..
"I couldn't do that" – he faced the opposite wall again. – "Go sleep".
"I'm not pretty, niisan?"
"That is not what I meant…."
"But you kissed another woman, refused to kiss me….Naruto doesn't see me as a pretty lady too….."
Neji was just thinking how blind she was: the Inuzuka boy adored her. Several jounins he knew were always asking him about 'his cute cousin'. He also thought that she was cute, and in an impulse he said this.
"I think you are cute. I have always thought….." – shit. I sounded like Lee……
"Y y y you t t t think?" – her voice was clear now, more cheerful.
"Hai…."
Hinata gave a little peck on his cheek and rushed to her room. Neji thanked the darkness of the room so no one could see his blush.
Caressing the place where her mouth landed a few minutes ago, he was considering her words. He had asked who she was, where was her pride, but he never questioned his own feelings. No, he didn't love Hinata, or Tenten. He had some relationships during his seventeen years, but none lasted long. He was the one breaking hearts. He never put himself into his relations, afraid that he could disappoint anyone or disappoint himself. His marriage was no different. He had loved Hinata in the past, he disappointed her. He didn't like to expose himself and Hinata was so giving, to hurt her was so easy…
She was putting herself into that marriage. Letting go the one she love (and all Konoha knew who was), submitting to his demands as husband, accepting his whishes and making them her own. What has he done for that relationship? How much of him was in that relation?
He stood up and walked to her room, opened the door and asked:
"How far are you willing to go for your promise?"
"I told you: I want to be a good wife for you…"- she was still lying on the bed.
"You know that it means sleeping and waking up with someone you don't love every single day of your life."
"I know."
"That means kiss and retrieve your body to this someone…."- she shivered a little at this statement but answered:
"I know, and I'm not afraid. This has a purpose, to change the Hyuga. I made a promise to myself: that no other Hyuga would have to suffer an arranged marriage…."
"So, you want to change the Hyuga?"
"Are you going to help me, niisan?"
After thinking a little, Neji sat in her bed, close to her, and looking at her eyes he softly spoke:
"I will. If you keep your promises, I'll keep mine: to help you change the Hyuga, no matter what"
Hinata sat in the bed and gave Neji a sweet smile!
"I'll keep my promises! That is my ninja way! I never go back in my word!"
"So you are willing to make this fake wedding into a real one?"
"I have always tried…."
"Are you sure?" – he said touching her arms, her face and her hair. Her face became red and her breath slow and heavy
She was afraid of what was coming, but she was the one who provoked it….
"I am"
His lips touched hers, not a sweet kiss but a technical one….his hands caressed her hair, moving to the back of her neck, bringing her head closer. Her hands were moving in the air, not knowing if touch his skin or his hair. When he made the kiss deeper, forcing is tongue inside her mouth, her hands finally grabbed his long hair, pulling his head also closer.
Neji's mouth covered Hinata's in a fierce, demanding way, taking her breath away, savoring her tongue. The kiss left both breathless, Hinata was blushing madly and made a lot of effort to look in his eyes. Neji was impassive, only a little red in his cheeks.
"I will ask once again. Is that what you want?"
"….yes…." – she proved of the 'famous kiss' (it was her first) and wanted more. But his question meant more, she knew what he was asking.
"So, may I continue?" – he was giving her the choice. It would be her first time, and it would be with someone she didn't love – "What I said before, about having other relations, is OK. You can do that with someone else….you love…."
"No. I never go back on my words". – she felt sorry for letting go the opportunity he was giving, but she knew that Naruto really loved Sakura. He never saw her like a lover, always like a friend. Besides, Hinata had a strong sense of responsibility and would never cheat on Neji, even with his consentient.
He was just reading her facial expression to find any signs of doubt, repentance, but could only find the same resolution he saw in their match during the chunnin exams.
He cupped her face, kissed her again, more tenderly this time. Embracing her, and she returned his act, stroking his hair.
Neji carefully laid her on the bed, kissing her neck, ears, caressing her breasts. Hinata entangled her legs with his, her hands exploring his back, his muscled arms, and their hips moving rhythmically.
More kisses, even more passionate than before. None wanted to stop, to break free. Neji moved his lips to bite her ear and asked once again:
'Are you sure…?"
"I am…."- she said among the pants and breaths.
And then, he removed her nightgown, her underwear, making her shiver and let out a little squeak. He did the same to his clothes, kissing her lips he said:
"Close your eyes. Kiss me and concentrate on the kiss only…"
She obeyed, still afraid. The kiss was fervent. Hinata was excited in a completely different way, and could feel his arouse.
Neji waited for the right moment to thrust into her, and when he did, Hinata screamed a little:
"It h h hurts…"
'Shhhh. Only in the beginning. Keep doing what I said" – and he resumed the kiss, waiting until she relaxed and returned the kisses.
Moving together, synchronized like an orchestra, the lovers let the passion take control of their bodies, minds, sensations.
To her, everything was new. So delightful, and yet so painful. But for the first time in her life someone's attention was only for her, to please her, love her. In other times, when someone's attention was focused on her it was to blame, scold, hurt…This was paradise….
To him, it was duty after all, but the most delicious duty of ever. He was only taking care to not hurt her with his passion. Hinata was returning all his caresses. After all he had said, had done, had deceived, had ignored her, she still was returning love.
Their bodies were reaching the limit of pleasure, sweating, panting heavily, their minds blurring at every movement, losing control…
Neji noticed that she still had the eyes closed (thinking of him, maybe), biting her lower lips trying to hold the climax, like it was something sinful.
"Let it go. Don't hold." – he said in her ears, calming her down, touching her hips, positioning himself to the most intense pleasure.
She did as he said, letting go all her lust, pleasure with a moan, and whispering his name as she nailed his back. He achieved the same a little after, holding a groan, and then he sighted, resting his forehead on hers, feeling the heat of their bodies.
He felt like a complete bastard. That sweet and innocent girl, bashed by her own family (and it included him), trying so hard to be invisible, to avoid problems, desiring acknowledgment was there, lying beneath him, loving him the one who was loved, noticed, acknowledged, and nevertheless, hated the world. Tears were falling from his eyes, and he had no control of the sobs.
Hinata opened her eyes to see her husband's tears. She tried to clean his face with her thumbs, without understanding what was going on.
"I'm sorry….I'm so sorry….."- he said muffling his face in the base of her neck.
"That is Ok, niisan. Don't feel sorry. I asked for it, besides you are my husband, it is your right"- she said rocking his hair.
"I only hurt you, take away your dreams with my actions and words…."
"No. You tell me the truth, the reality that no one else cares to say. You bring me to the real world when I'm walking in the air. Don't be sorry, be proud of yourself, to be who you are, no matter what."
He raised his head, planting one last kiss on her mouth. Embracing her, he flipped his body to the side so they could share the same pillow and face each other.
And like that, they found peace in their sleep.