Helga G Pataki: Hillwood's New Superhero

by KlutzyMaiden123

As if my life hadn't already been difficult. I already had to watch the love of my life, Arnold, make goo-goo eyes at little Miss Perfect, Lila Sawyer, while completely ignoring me. Now, I have to juggle school, keeping my feelings for him secret and battling evil dressed in a skimpy bathing suit, all the while keeping my lifestyle as a superhero from my nosey classmates.

23. The Art of War

Yesss, so this took a while and I don't even really have an excuse, life just kinda happened and it got harder to find the language to convey my vision. But hey, it's out now! Although, given the next chapter is full of action, that one most likely will take its fair share of time as well. Shoutout's to my wonderful beta, who I would absolutely die without!

---

"You're at school."

I was rustling through my books when I heard her say that. It was only 8:28 in the morning. And usually, such a rapid appearance like that would frighten the bejesus out of me. But given how familiar she was—and how she'd literally been the last person I'd talked to yesterday—I didn't jump.

Instead, I whirled around. "Yes, Lila, I am."

She was scowling at me, unsurprisingly. It wasn't an unusual sight to be greeted with in the mornings—as much as Lila liked pretending she was super chill and buddy–buddy, at her core, she was a total mum–friend and the first to call you out on your bullshit.

Not that I had any—bullshit, I mean. I knew why she was angry without having to ask but that didn't mean I agreed with her.

"So is Gerald, and Arnold, and Sid," I continued this act, feigning shock as I counted off their names. Not to prove a point or anything, I just liked being an asshole this early in the morning, "and if you look just over there, you might be able to spot the princess herself, surrounded by her royal subjects. Ever so strange, isn't it?"

She stared, unamused. "You're supposed to be at home—resting."

I rolled my eyes. Here we go.

"I was resting," I shoved my last book into my bag and shut my locker. Geometry, I thought with a wrinkle of my nose. A total waste of time if you asked me. Swinging back around to the redhead, I rocked my weight to the left and held out my hands like I'd just performed a magic trick. "And now I'm fine. See?"

"Really?" she raised an eyebrow. "You're fine?"

"Yes."

"And not in any pain?"

"Duh."

"Really? None whatsoever?"

"Pfft—yeah."

She stared at me.

I stared back.

I don't know how long it lasted, but it got pretty awkward. For me anyway, I'm sure Lila was enjoying this. She loved making me uncomfortable (I assume it was her way of getting back at me for all the years I tormented her. Which, you know, fair enough). But her stare was like a dang slap in the face. I tried holding my ground—I'd fought like, hundreds of demons at this point. I was pretty good at holding my ground—but Lila and her stupid glare were scary. It didn't help that it wasn't even nine in the morning yet, so my brain was still pretty defenceless. Which was totally unfair, by the way. Lila was a mini-sized human— how was it fair that she had a stare so intense it was like a knock to the teeth?

She then puffed out a disappointed breath. "How are you so bad at lying?"

Ouch.

"Well, how are you still so nosey?" I bit back.

She rolled her eyes, but her lips twitched. Her expression shifted, so she no longer was scowling at me, although she still seemed slightly on edge. I shifted my weight, rolling my shoulders so I could adjust my bag, and tried changing subjects.

"Soooo how was training the princess yesterday?"

Exhaustion almost jaded her gaze as she rolled her head back to let out a groan. It made me grin. Lila had neglected to mention any of that last night (a decision I still wasn't entirely sure was intentional on her part or not). She'd been so excited over that photo that Arnold had posted—which I haven't looked at since last night—but left as soon as I'd managed to convince her that nothing had actually happened.

I tried being a good friend about it. I mean, I yelled at her because it was Lila, and Lila could be really thick sometimes. But, honestly, I tried being nice. But the minute it had sunken in that there wasn't anything spicy to gossip about, her face had darkened and I couldn't help it—I burst out laughing. She looked so baffled, she may as well have had a rain cloud hanging over her face.

She left without a word after that, but I knew that this wouldn't deter her. Not in the slightest. Lila was too stubborn and she thought I had a bad judge in character (which was false, by the way). She also thought that I was lying to her and that something actually had happened last night, I was just too obtuse to realise it (which again—false). I wanted to be annoyed with her for not listening to me, but honestly, she wasn't entirely wrong. Last night was nothing to write home about, but it's not like nothing had happened between Arnold and I.

I'd avoided thinking about it. I hadn't even gone to look at the picture Arnold had posted. I hadn't accepted those friend requests— I hadn't even clicked on the app. I didn't wanna get caught up in my thoughts and feelings again. Despite what Lila says is true, I didn't wanna get stuck believing in something that didn't exist. But it was hard. Just remembering it for a mere few seconds left my chest burning hot. I still could remember his hand on the back of my neck, fingers shackled with my strands. There had been so much going on in my head; but in that moment, with his hand practically directing me inches from his own face, I wondered if he knew what I was thinking.

Lila reeled her face back to mine, cracking a crooked smile, and I quickly came back to earth.

"About as you would expect," she said.

I forced a smile. "I would give anything to have seen her reaction to it all."

"Imagine the shocked face emoji—it was an exact replica."

And then, for extra emphasis, she recreated it. Dropping her jaw, Lila widened her eyes to the size of dinner plates and slapped her palms to her cheeks. And I couldn't help it—despite how much I wanted to stay serious about this subject, I felt my resolve dissolve and burst out laughing. I wrapped my arms around my stomach as I bent forward, mentally replicating that look on Rhonda's face. Lila joined me, snickering until her face had turned pink and she was struggling to breathe. Some people turned to look at us, but their strange expressions only made us laugh harder.

We didn't settle until the air had become warm and rang in our ears. Straightening up, I laid my head against the lockers, letting my hands fall to my side. My eyes were wet and I was trying to get air into my spent chest.

"Did Nel say anything?" I eventually asked Lila as she came back up. "About . . . what Serec said."

She paused, smile vanishing, as her stance changed. Her eyes darted across my face and she shifted her weight, "Um, no—she didn't."

That made me huff.

"Do you think that—" I paused, and rephrased,"You don't think she could be lying to us, do you?"

My heart was pounding as I said that. I didn't want to ruin the moment by bringing something like that up, but I couldn't help it. It had been a thought that had grown more and more plausible the longer I'd laid in bed last night.

"Lying? No," Lila shook her head. "Not telling us the full truth, however? Definitely. There's obviously something we still don't know."

"Well, what should we do?" I wrapped my arms across my chest, "Corner her and demand what's going on?"

"No, definitely not," her eyes shot back to mine. "Look, I don't know what it is that she's keeping from us, but I don't think it's a master plan or anything. Did you see her face when Serec brought it up at the Wonder Wheel? She wasn't scared or angry—she was sad. Mournful, even. Like whatever it was that he was referring to was painful for her. I don't think she's hiding something to set us up."

She furrowed her brow, pausing. "I think she's hiding something because she doesn't want to remember."

I moved my lips to the side, peeved. "But these are our lives, Lila."

I don't know why but I suddenly felt defensive of my stance. I didn't want to be right, but I wasn't convinced that I was totally wrong.

"Yes, hence why I don't think she'll double-cross us," she said. Her expression was weary as she said this, like she had gone over this before. It made me wonder if she had, not with someone else—but with herself. It wouldn't surprise me; Lila tended to be two steps ahead of everyone. "Look, I know it seems fishy— but I trust Nel. I don't think she'd keep us in the dark for long and I trust that she will tell us when the time is ready."

I rolled my eyes.

"Helga, you have to remember that this may be hard for us, but she's been living with this for longer," Lila tentatively pointed out. Her eyes were doing that thing that made you feel like you were stuck in some type of X-Ray. Though her lips were dipped and her brow soft, her eyes were penetrating. "She may not be fighting, but it's possible that we're not her first charges. Serec knows her—and I doubt that their history was good. She's probably gone through something like this before, maybe with another team—like us. Which would mean . . ."

She let the silence hang so the dots could connect themselves for me. I scrunched my lips, twisting them to the side, and ducked my face.

"Great," I muttered and sluggishly kicked the air. "Now I feel like an asshole."

"Good."

And just like that, Lila was back to her sunny self again. The weight in her voice lightened and when I looked up, she held no resentment in her gaze. Just understanding. She got where I was coming from. Perhaps she had even been there herself, but on some level, she understood where Nel was coming from. I don't know where that came from—given she knew about as much as I did—but she understood Nel.

It left me green, I realised. I wanted that. I wanted to trust so openly even if I wasn't being told the full truth. But I couldn't. This was all so real, everything was so scary and I wanted to know everything. There was something that Nel was holding out on us, and it wasn't something small. Otherwise, she would've told us. Serec wouldn't have brought it up if it was insignificant, if it wasn't something that didn't have the power to tear us apart. She was keeping secrets from us, that I was certain. It's just how many secrets she was keeping that really scared me.

"If you want to make it out of the fights to come, you're going to have to let me train you—and for that to happen, you need to have complete trust in me, is that clear?"

I wanted to believe that Nel wouldn't do anything to put us in harm's way or hold back on anything that could hurt us. But truthfully, I couldn't. She had demanded that we—I—trust her. So, why couldn't she do the same?

I tried forcing myself to smile back at Lila, but the bell rang as my eyes reached hers. Lila looked down in her bag to check on her books and as she did, I let out a small breath. I didn't have it in me to force another charade with the girl who seemed to be the world's expert at them.

Her hand quickly latched onto my wrist and when I looked up, she was grinning widely.

"C'mon," she said, spinning around and dragging me down the hallway. "Let's go before Gerald takes your spot next to Arnold."

"Lila!"

---

To say that Algebra was slow would be an understatement.

It truly felt like time had completely up and ditched us, leaving us to suffer in this tiny and hot classroom. In fact, I was more than certain that the earth had just stopped rotating on its stupid little axis just to mess with me. Just to make sure that this typically just–over–an–hour class actually stretched out for another twelve. Seriously. The grass was growing ten feet tall by the time we were out. Puppies had turned into dogs. Birds had hatched from their eggs, and Mr. Branson had finally grown his eyebrows back. It pretty much confirmed that we were all a part of the matrix.

There was a special place in hell for boring algebra teachers, I thought to myself. It was right before mansplainers and after people who say they hate Beyoncé in order to seem cool and edgy.

It shouldn't be a surprise that algebra felt so long—it really was one of those classes that could just keep going on. Not to mention Mrs. Brown had one of those voices—the type that never lifted or dipped, it just stayed the same (unless of course, you pissed her off, which yeah, I have—many times). Oh, and the actual algebra part sucked as well (despite what Gerald, who was a total nerd, said).

I guess, to be fair, it wasn't just because this class was a total snorefest. I also was still nursing my ribs. Yeah, yeah, okay, so I wasn't completely healed, and I was still a little sore. But to be fair, I really had thought that I'd healed and was fine to go back to school this morning. I'd grown strong enough that I could now breathe and walk without triggering hot and painful flushes. And hey, those weren't necessarily high bars—but I'm trying to be more optimistic.

I went by mostly fine this morning—though there was still a small discomfort but it was mostly just inconvenient—until I sat down at my desk. I could feel myself getting more and more crampy the longer I was forced to stay in the same spot. My muscles had seized as a searing pain settled between my ribs. I figured it may have been the position I was in—maybe it was like when I had cramps and I needed to find that exact right spot—but very quickly, I realised that no, this was nothing like getting my period. Moving so much as an inch sent sharp bolts of pain through me and since I couldn't scream, I had to bite down on my tongue and squeeze my hands into fists. It left my knuckles white and burning, wanting to stretch out into ease. I was surprised that my tongue didn't just fall off. But I didn't know what else to do other than that or scream, which I figured wouldn't be very appropriate.

So, I was left like that for the hour. It was awkward and uncomfortable— but what choice did I have? I was left in that seat, silently in agony, but in my defence, I thought I'd hidden it pretty well.

Well, until we were leaving algebra and it was made apparent that some people had begun to notice.

Even Gerald.

"Oi, Pataki, what's with you? You look constipated."

Ah, Gerald. Ever so subtle.

"Fuck you, Johanssen," I snapped. "Your mother's constipated."

That made him frown. "Hey—"

"Knock it off, please," Lila sang as she stepped between us. I hadn't even noticed that Gerald and I had been walking next to each other.

I crinkled my nose.

Lila looped her arm through Gerald's before I could say anything more. He was still scowling at me—big baby wouldn't let that comment go—but Lila sent me a smile before pulling him up ahead with her. I raised an eyebrow, feeling like I'd missed something, until I glanced to the side and realised that I was alone with Arnold.

Ah, I thought as the pieces clicked into place. And here I thought she could take a hint.

Now don't get me wrong—this wasn't a bad thing. Being alone with Arnold was, in and of itself, never a bad thing. I liked hanging around him, especially after last night. He had this way of making my insides melt like they were hot butter, which wasn't a terrible feeling. However, Lila was still seeing and forcing things that didn't exist (on his end anyway). And though I was coming around to her schemes, today in particular, I didn't have the energy to even humour her.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked with a gentle frown. He either hadn't seen Lila's less than subtle expression or was choosing to ignore it. Either way, I was grateful. I was running out of excuses to explain away her behaviour. He squinted, examining me further, "Gerald's right. You don't look okay."

"Thanks, Arnold." I deadpanned.

His cheeks turned red when he realised how his comment could come across.

"Wait, shit—sorry, I didn't mean—"

"Nah, it's alright," I took mercy on him and waved it off. I couldn't help it, I just melted whenever I saw him flustered. It was adorable. "It's just cramps,"

I glanced ahead and caught Lila watching us from over her shoulder. She watched us like she was an audience member witnessing a particularly riveting scene in a dramatic play. It was funny because Gerald, who was still wrapped up in her arms, was prattling on about something but she had completely checked out. She must've asked him about the algebra homework, or maybe it was about anime again, but either way, the boy was totally oblivious to the fact that she wasn't listening.

I scowled at her, twisting my lips into an angle that I hoped conveyed my irritation. But instead of flushing with shame at having been caught eavesdropping, she merely grinned at me.

It made me sigh.

"Still?" Arnold asked, and when I looked back at him, he was still watching me. Apparently ignorant to our silent conversation. Something that I, again, was grateful for; I was too exhausted to explain the intricate craft of girl telepathy.

"Yeah," I nodded. "One of the joys of having ovaries, I guess."

He reacted how I hoped he would—turning red and backing off.

"I—I . . . sorry about that, I guess?" he looked down, unable to meet my eyes. I couldn't help myself—I just started laughing. Normally, I'd be put off when boys got awkward and uncomfortable discussing something as normal as having periods, but for some reason, it was adorable on Arnold. He was always so mature and ahead of people his age—sometimes, even people over his age—so it was nice to see him acting normal for once (plus, I'd be lying if I didn't say I liked the idea of having the ability to fluster him so easily. Even if it was regarding my monthly torments).

He cringed when I laughed, cheeks turning darker, and forced himself to look back up. "Is there anything you wa—"

"I'll make it through," I waved my hand around dismissively. "I'm a big girl."

I gave him a grin.

He paused for a moment, registering that it really wasn't that big of a deal. His face stayed red but the right side of his mouth lifted. I felt my mouth stretch, turning into a smile at his expression. It was so goofy, yet it sent a warmth straight through to my chest. It pushed and swelled, rattling in my neck, and the air became soft.

I missed this, I realised. Him. I missed spending time with him and not having to split my focus in two different directions. I enjoyed meeting up with him last night, it had been fun. A different kind of fun. Not the kind I felt when I was with Lila or Savannah, or sipping on milkshakes with Phoebe, or even bantering with Nel. It was different, softer.

The kind that made you warm. Turned the air ambrosial as a honeyed feeling slipped into the old cracks to fuse everything together. The kind where you didn't need to talk to fill the silence because it was no longer scary. I didn't have to run multiple strategies over in my head or look over my shoulder. I could let go and not mind.

I could not mind being Helga.

To myself, I shook my head. I could feel words unravelling in my chest, questions burning to be asked. Like, what was his favourite colour? Why—was there any emotional attachment or was it simply alluring to him? What books did he like? What brought him to like photography so much? He always had an eye sensitive to beauty; did he simply try capturing it so he could show it to others? I wanted to ask him about that photo. Did he really think that I could be beautiful? Had he even thought that or was it just the lighting? Was it just a one–time thing or was I to prepare for it again?

I was smiling, I realised. I couldn't help myself. Even when he looked away to turn to the front of our group, I was still smiling, although I forced myself to look away as well.

We eventually made it to the cafeteria; the doors swung open as we moved into the entrance and the noises hit us like bricks. Kids rushed about to catch up with their friends as voices overlapped one another. Most were hunched over their tables, scooping their food into their mouths as they laughed and traded stories.

There weren't as many students inside today. Looking towards the windows, I could see why. It was gorgeous outside—the sky was a soft, denim blue as the air shimmered rich with its heat. Light pushed against the windows, spreading across the tiles, and washing the shadows away.

Heat washed over me. I undid the tops of my buttons and rubbed the back of my neck, feeling the warmth settle over me like a blanket. Turning my face to the side, I noticed a particularly rambunctious table with a boy standing on the surface. He had a large smile as he told some type of story that apparently required for him to wave about his arms like he was a bird.

I cringed at his lack of awareness. His friends were laughing, but outside of them, everyone seemed annoyed with his antics. They were giving him dirty looks before turning back to their friends, exchanging irritated expressions as they whispered to each other. I wondered how someone could be so disinterested in the world around him but one look at his jacket explained it—jock.

Of course.

Rhonda was sat at the table next to his. The desks looked to have been hastily shoved next to one another as if the two groups had just been dying to sit together. But she looked to be regretting her decision; she had angled her body away from the boy and her hand was held to her face, like she didn't want to be associated with him. Occasionally, she looked over her shoulder to roll her eyes at him then back to her friends. They seemed sympathetic of her situation—whatever it was.

I frowned. It didn't seem like a situation where it was merely one friend embarrassing another, it seemed different. The girls around Rhonda were looking at her with pity. And then, everything snapped into place as I recognised the loud boy. He had been the jock who had asked Rhonda out, something that felt like eons ago.

Explained why she looked so flustered.

Looking at her expression, I was no longer dancing on air. Everything had cooled so it resembled a buzz more than anything, but still, I had my head held higher than it should be. I suppose that was why I did it—raised my hand and shouted, "Oi, Rhonda!"

She and her friends glanced up.

I paused.

Her stare felt like a kick to the face. Her eyes widened when she noticed it had been me calling out to her and her expression hardened. Her friends turned and whispered to one another. Her eyes shifted to her friends in a panic and even from across the room, I could feel her exasperation. Even the jocks had stopped to glance at her, then me, and then each other.

Rhonda's jaw had stiffened, eyes widening the slightest fraction. Her chin stayed locked in place though, gaze turning back to me.

Confused, I rose my eyebrows.

Lila, on the other hand, sighed with a facepalm.

And Gerald and Arnold exchanged looks.

"Uh, I didn't know you two could get along," Arnold said, looking at me from across his shoulder. We had shifted as a group upon entering the cafeteria; now I stood next to Lila while Arnold was on my right. He shuffled his weight slightly and crept closer like I was going to whisper him something.

"That's putting it mildly," Gerald added with both his eyebrows raised. "Don't you, y'know, hate each other?"

I scoffed.

"We don't hate each other, we just—" I stopped when Rhonda turned away from us. She was laughing at something one of her friends said, something I couldn't hear. But when one of them gave us a sly look before snickering again, I realised what it was. Me. "Wha—that bitch."

Lila's palm suddenly clapped against mine, like she was trying to high five me. But instead, her fingers wrapped around my hand, and without glancing at me, she pulled. I was whirled around on the balls of my feet and dragged back the way we came.

"What the—Lila!"

She sent a look to the boys.

"Catch you two later," she murmured, then turned to march us out before they could look at her. I was dragged down the hallways, squirming to pull myself from her grasp but damn, this girl had a grip. I kept forgetting how wicked strong she could get when she was angry (although why she was angry was anyone's guess).

She almost yanked my arm from the socket when she took a random right, then slammed her palm into the bathroom door. It swung open widely with a loud groan, and without looking, she basically chucked me inside.

I scrambled, feet unable to come to a stop, and slammed against the sink. I gasped, holding onto my torso as my ribs screamed and burned hot, and growled at her.

"Ow, Lila, what the hell was tha—"

"What was what?" I heard Lila scoff and when I turned back to her, she had her hands pressed to her lips. She flung one up in a wild gesture to the closed door behind her. "What was that?!"

"What?!" I threw up a hand. "I thought now that we're a team that she would—"

"Of course she wouldn't, Helga," she put her hand back onto her hip. "We barely talked before any of this, why would she suddenly be friendly with us. That would look suspicious!"

I scowled at her.

Okay, so maybe I had acted a little impulsively without actually stopping to check with Lila if we—all three of us—were on the same page. But come on, Rhonda had been a total bitch. She could've ignored me and looked away, but instead she got her friends to whisper about me. Who knows what they were saying now?

I sighed, knowing there was no point in arguing. The last time Rhonda and I had been seen together, we'd been fighting over having been paired together for an English assignment. And before that, we'd actually been fighting. Sure, it was possible that had mended our issues when meeting up, but it still could bring up some questions. Questions that required answers that we didn't have yet since we hadn't yet worked out a cover story.

"It's not like anyone knows," I said instead, not wanting to admit defeat.

Lila's gaze softened.

"Not yet they don't," she stepped forward. Her hand grazed across the counter and she tilted her face, as if to get a better look at me. "But c'mon, Helga, you have to see that that could appear strange. You both have had multiple fights—one of them physical—and now suddenly we're all best friends and singing Kumbaya?"

I frowned. "Who could connect that to what actually happened?"

"I figured it out relatively quickly."

"Yes, but you're weirdly observant."

"I doubt that I'm the only one in this school who pays attention," she shrugged her hands back into her pockets and rolled the weight around her feet. "Don't forget Helga—Wraiths can blend in perfectly with their surroundings. Only they might not make the same mistakes as last time. Instead of attacking, they may simply go to Serec with their information. We cannot afford any Freudian slips."

I fell silent. That actually hadn't occurred to me—any of it. Mutants, Wraiths, Serec, my mind had been elsewhere.

I felt my words leave me, in a way that made it feel like a big heavy swap of heaviness had slapped against my throat. Shame clogged my chest and spread into my stomach. I tried not letting it get to me, I know it wasn't the worst mistake I had made, but I couldn't help but feel disappointed. But for once, it wasn't aimed at myself. It was aimed everywhere else. It felt like some type of structure had collapsed in my lungs and now something was swirling, threatening to sweep my inside up into a vortex.

It was stupid, but . . .

I pushed my lips to the side and turned towards the mirror.

"I was just trying to be nice."

I had tied my hair up today—differently, that is. It wasn't anything to write home about; it was just a plait. The braid swung between my shoulder blades like a yellow rope as some stray hairs fell to frame my face. It wasn't a big improvement or artistic work or anything, but it was different. I wanted to look different today. I wanted to look nice.

Normal.

My tongue swirled and pressed to the back of my teeth. It was something I only felt with him, something I kept forgetting how much I missed.

The door swung open.

Lila jumped with a small gasp and swung around on her toes like she expected someone to jump her. I didn't turn to look but kept my eyes trained on the mirror, moving my gaze up to the figure over her shoulder in the reflection.

They were already glaring at me.

It made me groan. "Great."

"What was that?" Rhonda demanded like she had been slapped. She was standing in the doorway like she was a gang leader, with her hands shoved into her pockets and her lips pressed tight together. Her expression was clouded and her eyes stayed on me, not even glancing in Lila's direction.

"Calm down, princess," I said, watching her reflection. "Lila's already gone off on me."

"I thought you said she was smart," Rhonda turned to Lila and gestured in my direction.

I bristled, not appreciating being talked about like I wasn't here.

Lila crossed her arms. "She can be."

"Hey!"

Rhonda pointed at me. "You—shush. Adults are talking."

"Excuse me?!"

Lila sighed and leaned against the sink.

I swung around, pointing at myself. "I'm the eldest here!"

"Puh–lease," Rhonda moved around Lila to discreetly check if the toilets were empty. I made a face. Of course she didn't trust us to check ourselves (although I guess we hadn't). She then flipped her hair, wheeling back around to face us and placed her hands onto her hips.

"Alright," I sneered. "When were you born then?"

"The year before you."

Oh, right, I forgot. Rhonda was actually seventeen; she'd just gone to school a year later for whatever reason.

I snapped my fingers. "Damn."

"Meathead," she rolled her eyes.

"Who're you calling a—" I was cut off when a white-hot spasm ran down my side and lit stars in my eyes. "Oh fuck—jesus."

"Helga," Lila clamped her hands onto my shoulder and moved forward. "Are you alright?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but the pain still pinched at my sides. It was like a weight had settled into my chest and pushed the air from my lungs. I shut my mouth. Salt was burning my eyes. My fingers clutched at my side as I tried not to feel it. I forced myself to look at my other hand, hanging onto the edge of the sink, knuckles white and veins popping, as sweat dampened my skin.

"Jesus," Rhonda poked her head over Lila's shoulder. I raised my eyes to meet hers in the mirror and watched as her stare latched onto my side. "You're still injured, Pataki?"

"Hey!" I spun around. "I'm like this 'cause of you, genius!"

Shock rippled across her face like someone had pelted her with water. Her mouth dropped as her forehead folded into dozens of crinkles from her eyebrows lifting.

Guilt welled in my stomach, burning— it almost made the pain in my ribs fall away. I ignored it because, really, I had nothing to feel guilty about. I wasn't even giving her one-fifth of the shit that she'd been giving everyone else here at Hillwood High. Still, it left my tongue tasting sour.

Her eyes then narrowed. I could see her shoulders stiffening as she screwed her lips to the side and shoved her hands back into her pockets.

I rolled my eyes. Whatever.

"Helga."

Lila stepped away from me with a sharp glare.

"What?!" I exclaimed defensively. "It's true!"

She watched me for a moment. Her gaze was careful and cool, eyebrows pushing together, before something swelled in the corner of her eyes and she sighed. It made the heavy feeling in my chest welter because I recognised that look—disappointment.

Lila took another step backwards, moving her hands to rub her eyes. She then shook her head, turning to glance between us, and opened her mouth when a scream suddenly rang against the walls. It cracked with its hoarseness, gathering and pushing through, and made my skin crawl.

Mutant.

I snapped my chin upwards, looking around. Rhonda's eyes were wide and she pulled her hands to her chest. Her eyes darted wildly between the door and the window like she was expecting a Mutant to burst through.

But it wouldn't, I thought, because it wasn't here.

"Fuck," I breathed when the scream came to a stop and silence filled the space again. I pressed a hand to my chest, feeling my heartbeat pumping hard into my throat.

Lila clamped her mouth shut and looked at Rhonda. Muscles shifted across Rhonda's face, her lips snapped shut over her teeth, and something in her jaw twitched. I could see the wheels spinning in her mind as she blinked a few times like she was snapping herself out from her earlier stupor. She then pursed her lips and lifted her chin, eyes cool. Lila's gaze darted across her face before she gave the slightest nod.

"I'm coming with you," I found myself saying.

"Very funny," Rhonda rolled her eyes and stuffed her hand into her pocket. Sunlight bounced from the eye on her ring, a small golden patch sliding across her copper skin.

"It's not a joke," I forced myself against the sink, pushing my shoulders back. "I'm coming."

There was a pause as they both glanced at each other again. Their eyebrows shifted like they were having a silent conversation, lifting and randomly ticking. It made a weight settle in my stomach. The air turned warm and wet. The lights became heavy—sloppy. They draped over me like oil, encasing me in a molten prison.

"You go," Lila eventually said. She gestured to the door with her head and clipped her fingers around her hips.

Rhonda pressed her lips together. The skin around her throat moved in a gulping motion as she held Lila's gaze for a moment. The redhead raised her eyebrows as if insisting and Rhonda quickly spun around on her feet. Her hair swept around her shoulders like a curtain as she slipped the ring onto her finger. Her eyes met mine for a moment—an emotion I couldn't register radiating from them—before she left the room without another word.

The door swung back and forth. Lila watched the repeating motions in silence, pushing her lips to the side, before she turned back to me.

"Helga—"

"No—no, you already left me behind once, you're not doing it again," I pressed my hands to my side. "I was the first Guardian that Nel found and no matter what snooty–face says, I am the closest thing we have to a leader. You can't keep casting me aside."

"I can and I will," her eyes fastened onto mine. Her face hardened, mouth turning in a solemn twist as she caught my eyes in a firm gaze. It surprised me—how hard she had said it. It always surprised me whenever Lila put her foot down. She was always so soft and willing to meet you halfway that it always came like a slap to the face when she finally snapped and refused to compromise.

"Do you remember what I said to you on the roof?" she slowly asked. "The first week that I became . . . you know?"

I stiffened and a dull ache rose in me.

I knew exactly what she was referring to. It replayed in my head like a movie scene I had witnessed yesterday. It wasn't something I liked remembering—not just the roof but that entire week. It burned me with shame. Remembering how I had acted, turned everything inside out to be about myself. I avoided it whenever I could. It was a space that was left untouched in my mind. And Lila avoided it as well because she knew how it made me feel.

Breath slipped past my mouth. I wondered why she was bringing it up again. Her eyes softened, turning into dewy lakes, and she tilted her face.

"You quit when I say you quit and right now, I need you to quit, Helga," she said softly. Her voice almost dissolved, melting so that it folded into the recesses of my mind. "This thing where you need to keep proving yourself—it's going to get you seriously hurt unless you can control it. I know you want to help and you're still so used to being on your own, but you don't need to do that anymore. You have us. We're your team. You're no longer alone."

I pressed my lips together. "But—"

"I'll give you back your pin when you can afford to fight," she said, then moved closer. "The time you have to take off to rest will pass quicker if you let it."

I fell silent. Her words were a soft whir, glitter from a gunshot. I could feel the light pressing into me, slipping down my skin, bending against the curve of my spine. It spilled down my arms like sand and fell into my palms, which I hadn't realised I'd move to hang from my sides. There was a drumming sound that ran in my temples and punched my throat. I didn't say anything, wanting to wait it all out. Hoping it would burn out.

Lila didn't say anything for a while either. She just watched me. Waited. For me to nod and tell her that I agreed and understood or promise that I wouldn't do anything foolish and reckless. It made my chest stir and contort until it was a knot.

I dropped my gaze.

"What if something goes wrong?"

One side of her mouth lifted. "If it comes to it, then we will let you fight," she relented with a small nod. "But only as a last resort."

It was enough, I decided. It was enough to keep everything at bay. It shouldn't be too hard or long of a job—especially since Lila was so fast. She had this. And even if Rhonda didn't, she at least could phase through any attack, so as long as she stayed alert, she would be safe as well.

"You're our leader, Helga," Lila continued, turning around for the door. "We don't want to fight without you— so rest up, okay?"

I stared as she wrapped her hand around the handle. The windows pushed warm yellows across her back. I pressed my lips together, then turned my face to the sink, mentally tracing over the patterns in the porcelain. Guardianship was bigger than me. Bigger than Lila, bigger than Rhonda. I had to keep reminding myself that it wasn't about me, it was so much more than that. A shadow swept across the counter from my fingers, dancing across the surface as the light shifted. I swallowed, feeling like I was wrapped in barbed wire.

Bigger than me. Bigger than all of us.

---

Lunch passed and they still weren't back.

It had my inside tied up in knots that made it hard to breathe. Heat pressed against my face and pushed the sound from my brain. I had the linked chains in my hand, trying to keep myself locked on land whilst my mind was far away from here.

The sky had since softened, blossoming into a woollen sheet of cotton blue that spun with misty spirals of sunlight. The clouds were hot and swollen, a candy pink that broke into pale shades of yellow that were weighed down in cerulean. It no longer burned in flares but rather glowed like iron as summertime pieces fell across the ground.

The morning air worked to cool the pressure that had collected around my throat. It beat with a soft pulse that rushed to spread the blood through my limbs. But despite the soft whirs that slipped over me, I felt no solace.

The fence rattled from the soft breeze. There was an uncomfortable sensation in my chest, it felt like something was sitting on it and preventing it from releasing any pressure. The dread felt cold, but I was hot. The emotions stirred, wanting to burst, and a crawling prickled and pulled hard at my chest.

I knew I couldn't keep the pretence up—not with my head spinning the way it was. So, rather than heading back to the cafeteria, I went up to the roof. I needed the air, even more so the privacy.

I didn't know how long I had been up here—it was hard to perceive time when you were alone—but the bell signalled that it had been well over twenty minutes. I chewed on my lip. Lila said she would get me if things had gotten back, but how could she do that if she was injured?

Suddenly, the silence surrendered to the door swinging open.

I spun around and paused.

"Arnold?"

He held a hand to his face. He blinked, adjusting to the light. The brightness had softened since this morning, but it was still intense when compared to the fluorescence inside. He blinked a few more times, face pinched, then stepped forward.

Squintingly, his gaze rose to meet mine and he twisted his mouth to the side. Sunlight flashed and beamed, braiding with his hair, and forced his shadow to the wall behind him. His eyes shifted to my neck for a moment, then darted to my face. He dropped his hand and forced himself to move, crossing the space between us until he was standing in front of me.

"What're you doin' here?" I heard myself say.

The space between his eyebrows bunched together.

"Could ask you the same thing," he forced his hands into his pockets. He tilted his face, lowering his chin so he could look down at me, and scrunched his mouth to the side. "Class is starting. Why're you out here?"

There was a haziness in his tone like he was forcing himself to sound casual. But a hardness was creeping in. I bit my lip and looked away, feeling my stomach sink. The last he had seen me, I was with Lila. And given she wasn't with me, and hadn't returned to the cafeteria, it was only a matter of time until he asked about her.

"Nauseous," I told him. "I felt a bit sick and decided I should get some air."

"Do you need me to take you to the nurse's office?"

Heat climbed my collar and tingled my skin. I didn't know if it was from the sun that still grazed or Arnold's staring. The air in my chest was an opaque mess that filled up the cavity like a wet fog. I turned my face to the right. His shadow was next to mine, stretching further, and I realised how our stances had crumbled. They had both curled with apprehension. I shoved my hands into my pockets.

"No, I'm fine, just needed to breathe for a bit," I forced a smile and looked up. The tops of his buttons were undone and his Adam's apple bobbed. "C'mon, if you say class is starting then—"

"You say that a lot," he said when I moved past him. He lowered his voice which made a prickling sensation crawl to the back of my neck. I came to a stop but didn't turn. His shadow moved beneath my feet and I watched as he turned to face me, tucking his hands into his pockets. "That you need air, I mean."

My heart punched my chest.

The light felt paper–thin yet burned. Like the tides were pulling back so that I was no longer protected as heat poured down my hair. The wind pushed tangles over my shoulders and whipped my skirt against the back of my thighs. I swallowed, then turned around to ask, "Is that a problem?"

He was frowning.

It made an ache burn in me. I wanted to say something but I had no idea what I could say. I wasn't totally sure what we were talking about anymore, it felt like I was missing a piece of the puzzle. I reminded myself that I wasn't doing anything wrong. But there was a wariness that pressed into me like a needle. For some reason, I didn't feel like that was totally correct.

The light slipped past the fence, across Arnold's shoulders, and painted chains over my face. Diamond cut skies stretched like a dome over us. In an arboreal glow, Arnold's eyes caught mine that held me like an anchor. A shiver rolled down my spine. His expression was harsh but his eyes were soft and it sent ripples to my toes. It was a warmth that only he could bring. His gaze pressed into me like green velvet and heat dampened my collar. I gulped and found myself looking at his hands before I was even aware of it. My mind replayed the patterns he had drawn into my neck—last night, when his hands had found their way to my shoulders. I didn't want to think about it and tried pushing those memories back behind those walls, but I could feel them bending. Twisting and deteriorating as memories that were sweetening with age made their way back through.

"No," he said and stepped closer. His eyes darted from my face to his feet, and he shook his head. I couldn't tell if he was responding to me or to himself.

"No," he said again and looked back to me. He didn't look away this time and seemed to soften. I found myself unable to move. "It just worries me cause I—y'know that . . . you're not a good liar, right?"

I felt myself flush. I hadn't realised that I was that bad.

"Does it have something to do with why you were out last night?" his voice dipped and I suddenly felt like I had a candy bar between my teeth. He dipped his face slightly so he could hold my gaze firmly. "Something that wasn't . . . cramp related?"

Heat shifted beneath my skin. His eyes had softened and a small smile was lifting his lips. It made my stomach curl and I lowered my gaze and rubbed my hot neck.

"You won't tell me," he concluded, voice dipping. It made my heart sink. I hated making him upset—anyone really but especially Arnold. The light sharpened so it was jabbing into my skin like little spiders. I wanted to open up about everything—again. Why did this keep happening? Why was I so desperate to let him in?

"Why do you do this, Helga?" he asked with a sigh. And when I heard it, I realised the answer. I was desperate to let him in because I still wanted his approval. I knew how I looked, how it appeared I was still the same hard–headed and untrusting girl. And maybe I was still that, but I wanted him to know it wasn't the same. I wasn't being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn, but for everyone else—for him.

I was so tired of everything. It had been nearly three months of running around and risking my life, only to come back to school the next day and pretend that it had never happened. It was exhausting doing what was right but still hurting everyone because I could offer them nothing but lies. It was selfish to want a reward for my efforts or recognition. Especially since I had Lila, Nel, and now Rhonda to recognise what happened behind the magic show. They knew what it took to keep things the way they were. But I wanted something more. Arnold was an optimist but he was fair. And no matter how coldly I acted, he always saw the best in me. His gaze ran through my defences so he could read me like paper. I wanted him to tell me that everything would be alright and that this was all worth it and none of it was my fault.

"We're all worried about you."

"Worried?" I looked up. "Why? I have—"

"Lila. Yeah, I know, it's just—" he stopped with another sigh. This one sounded frustrated as his expression folded back into a frown. I closed my mouth, worried that I had upset him again, but then I noticed how his gaze flickered from me to his feet, then back again. His features twisted into a grimace as he placed his hands on his hips and shuffled his weight.

"Just what?"

"I—fuck—I just wish it wasn't just her you had."

I froze and felt it all hit me like a clap. It wasn't me he was frustrated with but himself. He didn't think I thought he was good enough.

"I mean, it doesn't bother me that you have her—Lila's great. And I know how close you two have gotten which is really, really good. Lila's really intuitive and knows what she's doing—most of the time—and I'd much rather you have her than no one, y'know? But I—I just feel like that you shouldn't have to rely on one person, y'know? You can if you want, of course, it's just that . . ."

He was rambling.

The heartbeat in my neck cooled and my stomach, now overcome with a warm mushiness, crumbled. I wanted to drape my hands over him and tell him that he was good enough. He was more than good enough—I was the problem. The barrier that had been fixed between us was my doing, not his.

His hand rose to shakily curl around the back of his neck as he lifted his eyes back to mine. His face was red but something in his gaze had softened. He trailed off, words turning to silence. A warmth crept over me, pushing me against the sky until I could see stars that dressed me in an auspicious glow. My thoughts became a haze but I wondered: did Arnold know the effect he had on me? He didn't need to be Lila—always know what to say—his presence was enough to bring the pigment back to my world.

But the door suddenly slammed open and Arnold and I jumped apart. I spun around as a heat pounded in my ears and blinked when Savannah clambered through the doorway.

She was bent over her knees, dishevelled hair tumbling from her bright blue scrunchie, and panting loudly. She looked like she had run a mile but her eyes were frantic as they zipped between us like they'd caught on fire.

"There you are!" she stood and leaned against the door for support. "Great, you found her—let's go!"

"Um—"

Arnold frowned. "We were actually—"

"Nope, no time, lover boy!" she made a quick dash to my side. She had her fingers wrapped around me before I could even open my mouth and quickly dragged me away. "Ainsley's insane right now. We need to move and pronto!"

I cringed.

I'd forgotten about gym.

---

I guess I was in a kinda anti–social mood when I got to the gymnasium. I mean, more than usual. Savannah had stayed glued to my side as we changed in the locker room, going on and on about how scary Ms. Ainsley could be and thank god she was good at sport, otherwise she'd about piss herself walking in every week. I mostly stayed quiet, nodding along and adding in the right 'mmm's and 'oh, I know,'s where I felt it was appropriate.

I know, it was mean—especially since I liked to call Savannah a friend, at this point—and normally, I wouldn't brush aside and ignore when someone was talking to me but it was the mood I was in. A mood that made my chest feel like it was on fire and every sound scared the bejesus out of me because I was that on edge. It was draining and hard to pay extra attention to other people. And you would totally be doing the same if one of your best friends—and, I guess, kinda friend but not really—had been gone for nearly an entire period. I'd tried brushing it off when people had asked me where Lila might be—since I was the last one to see her—by telling them she'd been having cramps so had to sit this class out. Savannah seemed especially reluctant to believe it, but where else could she possibly be? It's not like she had up and ditched school and had somehow gotten caught up in the fight further into the city.

Yeah, so, unsurprisingly, I was in pretty dour spirits and mostly kept to myself.

I stayed slumped against the wall at the back of the gym, where I was a safe distance away from the game and not in anyone's way. It was mostly so I wouldn't have to make conversation. An effort that wasn't as successful as I would've hoped. Savannah had left me to my own devices because today, it was basketball and she couldn't resist—plus, I think she may have been a little sore at me for not listening earlier—but Arnold, of all people, stayed close. Not close enough to provoke me but close enough where I was at least aware of his presence.

I chewed on my lip. I'd never seen him willingly give up an entire period of gym. He enjoyed playing sports too much to ever consider it. So, the fact that he was choosing now to do so was less than subtle, no matter how far he pretended to stay away from me.

"What's with you, Pataki?"

Gerald, on the other hand, was even less subtle.

"Nothing."

I shoved my hands into my pockets. I could feel him staring at me, confused at my one–worded answer, but I avoided his gaze and looked around.

Immediately, I spotted Rhonda's friends.

Of course, they weren't a part of the game. They were crowded around one another, sneakily checking their phones. My stomach sank, noticing how tightly their faces were drawn with worry. They were anxious for Rhonda. It made my chest squeeze. I'd never given much thought about Rhonda's friends—to me, they always seemed like faceless cronies who followed Rhonda and Nathalie around—but looking at them now, I was sick with guilt. They had even less information about Rhonda than I did.

"Don't look like nothin'," Gerald continued.

"Gerald," Arnold's voice felt louder.

I frowned and looked in their direction. Arnold was moving towards us, face set in a frown, as if sensing where this was going to go.

Gerald, as usual, was oblivious to the tension. Or didn't care. He raised an eyebrow at me. "Dude, you're feeding me shit and calling it ice cream."

"Gerald!"

I gave him a disgusted look and turned on my heels.

"Wait—Helga!" Arnold turned to me.

"I don't have time for this," was all I said. Because I didn't. I didn't have the mental effort to put up with Gerald's shenanigans. I just wanted to be alone or better yet, not here.

So I left.

The gym, that is.

Ainsley was much too focused on the game to notice me slipping out (not that she'd care. She'd given up trying to recruit me to her sports team and as long as I didn't speak up in class, she forgot that I existed beyond a name on her class attendance). I'm aware that I hadn't exactly been fair to them but I just needed to be out of there. I needed space. Someplace to hole up until I could calm myself down. I was always worrying about how I looked in front of other people and I just wanted to let my barriers down for a bit.

I found myself in one of the girl's bathrooms.

The light came in, thick like syrup, and blushed across the ground. The air was still, like a held breath, and somehow felt stuffier than when I was surrounded with people. I ignored it and turned on the tap. The water rushed, splashing over the edges then sinking into a whirlpool down the drain. I swiped my wet hands over my face then down my neck, feeling the water move between my shoulders.

I hoped it would cool down the burning in my skin. The air was colder now and sunk deep into my pores. I wiped my eyes than switched off the tap, grimacing at the groan that produced. I then pressed my lips together and sucked in a breath through my nose. Droplets were still dribbling from my face and into the sink. I swiped at my chin and raised my eyes back to the mirror, to the hardened eyes of gloss.

There was a racing feeling that punched at my ribs. I was free to feel exactly what I wanted in here—yet somehow, I felt more trapped than before. It was weird. I was feeling a lot while I was standing in that gym and had no one to talk to about how I was feeling. It was an extremely isolating feeling that I was never going to get used to. And yet, when I tried separating myself from it all, I felt worse.

It was frustrating.

Either way, I didn't end up coming back to gym.

I probably should have. But I knew what would happen if I did: Gerald would rush into some big story about what he thought had happened that would blow things way out of proportion; I would have to explain to him how he was completely bonkers and I just had a stomach-ache, and then I would have to sit through the rest of class, knowing that both boys were keeping me in the corner of their eye.

Yeah, no thanks. I stayed slumped against the windows and kept my eyes outside, searching for any superheroines swooping through the sky.

Of course, nothing happened. So eventually, I had to leave to get changed.

The lockers were mostly empty when I reached them. A few girls had managed to sneak past Ainsley to make a quick getaway but all together, there were four of us. So, I was left to my own devices. I could hear the game still going on through the walls. I put my uniform back on with a head that was filled with smoke. I was out of there just as the doors swung open, pulling my bag over my shoulders and hurrying out through the hallways.

I was lucky: Arnold and Gerald weren't at Algebra when I entered the room. It made me sigh with relief. I couldn't avoid them forever, but even just a few more minutes alone was preferable to the questions. I was about to take my usual spot at the back when I noticed the small crowd that had gathered around Sheena's desk.

I frowned.

Class wasn't starting for another couple minutes, yet there were five students surrounding that tiny desk. They all were leaning forward, peering over one another to watch whatever it was that had captured their attention.

And then, a bleak and foreboding feeling crept over me. I knew what had their attention without having to even look. The realisation dragged my heart into my stomach in a cold splatter. I wanted to ignore it but I couldn't help myself. I found myself moving towards the desk before I was even aware, settling next to Eugene.

He didn't even look up. He was far too invested and watched over someone else's shoulder.

Sheena held her phone horizontally. She was playing a report of the latest attack—it wasn't in the city. I blinked, not recognising the street or stores. It looked too grand and condensed, it wasn't Hillwood. That would explain why they had taken longer this time. The footage was shaky and the reporter had to shout to be heard over the explosions. I pressed my lips into a thin line. It was aggravating that they still ignored our warnings and chose to endanger themselves and, therefore, everyone else. But I shook those thoughts from my mind, there wasn't any point in lingering on it—people always broke the rules for their own gain.

Soft chants unfolded around me. Everyone whispered questions to one another—where was Blue Jay? Who was this new girl? Was she a superhero like the others? If so, what were her powers? I tried keeping my face calm and detached.

The street was wide; roads were edged with cars with cracked windows and the pavement shimmered with fresh shards. I couldn't count how many Mutants there were—the footage wasn't clear—but it seemed like dozens. Although, it was mostly Lark fighting them. Unsurprisingly, she was running circles around them. She took down as many as she could in mere seconds, leaving behind explosions in her wake.

But Rhonda was struggling with just one. She was further down the road, the sun swelling over her as she backed away from a Mutant that was twice her height. I tried swallowing the lump in my throat. Her fists were raised but they were trembling—I didn't need half–decent footage to know that. I could imagine how pinched her expression was beneath that mask. Teeth grinding together as she fought against a scream. Knees about to collapse. Pulse blasting in her ears as salt burned her eyes. I could imagine it because I felt it too.

But then, I saw it.

A Mutant approaching her from behind.

The lump in my throat swelled so that it became hard to breathe. The Mutant was a mosaic of teeth and flesh but Rhonda didn't seem to notice. She was too occupied with the Mutant she was already facing. I could hear everyone around gasping and covering their mouths when they noticed. Some even covered their eyes. I wish I could as well, but I couldn't. My body wouldn't obey. I was stuck there, eyes wide and capturing every detail laid out in front of me.

And then, Lark appeared.

She must have seen what was about to happen from where she had been fighting. She had swivelled around to make a mad dash. Rhonda glanced up and opened her mouth when Lark barrelled straight into her. The weight sent her tumbling across the pavement and nearly into a pile of shards.

I looked back to Lark, hoping she would make it, but for once, she wasn't quick enough. The paw smashed down into her and flung her body into the air. I felt the floor fall away from me when she went right through the window of a nearby store. Glass came apart and flung in all directions as Lark shot straight through the structure. The walls caved, debris raining down, and smoke smeared across the ground.

I couldn't breathe.

No.

Seconds passed. She didn't emerge.

Nonononononononononono—

The classroom door swung open.

My worries came to a complete stand still, surrendering to a steady beat of footsteps that thunked against the tiles. The air pressed into me. My stomach folded into knots. Footsteps lurked closer. It wasn't until I drew in a sudden breath that I'd realised that I'd stopped breathing at all. I clenched my teeth and willed myself to turn my head.

She stopped when she saw me.

Her big eyes fluttered, like she honestly hadn't been expecting to run into me, but then she forced a wave. "Hey, Hel—"

I strangled her in a hug.

I almost smashed my chin into her jaw. I could feel her nose running into my shoulder but I didn't care. I pressed my numb hands into her, placing one on her shoulder and the other behind her head, and pulled her in. There was a pounding in my chest that turned everything to mush. My breath came out shallow. Some eyes flashed in our direction but I paid them no mind. The relief that slammed into me almost turned me to hoop, it felt like Lila was the one holding me up rather than the other way around.

Lila froze, not expecting that reaction, but slowly wrapped her arms around my shoulder.

"It's okay, I'm fine, Helga."

But she wasn't.

The realisation hit me like a slap to the face. I stepped away from her. Lila paused as I looked her over; she had her arm wrapped around her torso. Her hand was pressed to her abdomen, fingers spread and clinging onto her shirt. I narrowed my eyes, realising that she was leaning her weight primarily on one side.

I looked back to her face.

She was wearing makeup. That, in and of itself, wasn't out of the ordinary, Lila enjoyed applying cosmetics every now and then, but she hadn't this morning. I don't know when she had gotten back, but she had definitely set aside time to cover something up. Then I noticed that her right cheek was slightly bigger than the left. She was blinking more often and there was a smaller distance between the lids. She had also rearranged her hair, leaving it out rather than that complicated braid she had before. Now, there was less of a chance in noticing the difference in her features, how one side seemed more swollen than the other.

I frowned.

"I have to go," I decided.

Lila grabbed onto my elbow. "Helga—"

I shuffled out of her grip and walked around her.

I was throwing open the door when I heard Lila mutter, "Shit."

---

"Rhonda!"

She was flat against the wall, a foot pressed against the surface. Her hair was different; it had been pulled back in several braids. They were sleek against her head, moving across the length of her scalp into a larger braid that hung between her shoulders. She was watching Nathalie crouch on the balls of her feet to collect her soda from the vending machine. She didn't jump when my voice hit her. She merely raised her face, raising her eyebrows like she had been expecting this.

It made me angrier.

I took wide steps, shoes squeaking across the tiles. Sunlight twisted in my hair in hot, silky blobs and a warmth wrapped around my cheek. She had chosen to hang in the foyer where the light stretched from the glass doors across the tiles to the back wall. My shadow grew with every step that I took, filling the space until it covered the wall like a movie poster.

Students rushed around each other to get to their classes—which Rhonda and Nathalie didn't seem that concerned about—but some stopped to watch as I approached the brunette.

She didn't bother to move when I finally reached her. She merely watched me with an unreadable expression, eyebrow cocking slightly.

"Pataki—"

"What the hell was that?!" my voice cracked.

She scoffed. "What was what?"

"Don't fuckin' look at me like that, you know what the fuck I'm talking about!"

The corners of her mouth quirked up into what almost seemed like a half–grin before she scoffed again, as if remembering herself, and lowered her chin with a shake of her head. I was flabbergasted. How was she reacting like this? Was this actually funny to her? I then noticed her face and how good it looked. Whereas a good chunk of Lila's face was swollen, despite her best efforts to cover it, Rhonda looked almost the same as when she had left this morning. Actually, she almost looked better. Her eyes were clearer and her posture straight, like she had finally woken up. It was just her lip that was injured. It was split, which she couldn't fix without makeup. For a moment, I wondered how she had explained it away but then remembered, I didn't care.

"Helga!" Lila suddenly appeared over my shoulder. Rhonda's mouth twisted to the side. "C'mon Helga, let's ju—"

I was stronger than she was right now, so I merely resisted when Lila tried pulling me away. I wasn't leaving until I got what I came here for.

"Rhonda," Nathalie suddenly said. We all glanced at her, remembering that she was here, as she stood from her crouch. She shoved her hands into her pockets, looking between us, before settling her attention back onto her friend. "What's happening?"

"Nothing," Rhonda said with a sigh, like I was a pest. "I told you—Pataki's psycho."

I barked out a laugh. "Psycho, am I? At least I'm not a bitch."

Saying that had the exact reaction I had hoped for—her eyes turned hot and she kicked off from the wall. She took the steps necessary to close the gap between us, pushing her shoulders back as she did. The anger rolled off her in thick waves and despite myself, I felt a mocking smile curve my lips.

"I'd rather be a bitch than a freaky little nobody."

That actually made me laugh.

Class had been forgotten at this point, and a circle was starting to form around us as students looked between us, trying to see what all the drama was about.

"Better that than a fucking coward," I spat, earning an 'ooooooh!' from the crowd that was gathering around us. "I was right about you, Rhonda. You're nothing more than daddy's spoilt little rich girl."

"You think I give a shit about what you think about me, Pataki?"

"I think that exactly," I told her, ignoring as Lila tried to pull me away. "You care about your image, Lloyd, because that's all you have. Something you can hide behind to distract everyone from the miserable and lonely and pathetic bitch you are inside."

The crowd reacted with gasps and outraged smiles threatened to split their faces. They howled as they shoved against one another, trying to move further to the front, while others whipped out their phones. Normally, I would bark at them to mind their own, but honestly, I really couldn't care less right now.

"Helga," Lila scowled beneath her breath.

I didn't look away from Rhonda and she didn't look away from me. Her face hadn't moved a muscle, it was like nothing that I said had the faintest impact on her. Her eyes pushed into me like hot knives and her glossy lips parted the slightest fraction. It made something stir in my chest, something heavy and rotten.

"Okay," Nathalie moved forward and grabbed onto her friend. She sent me a cold look as she tried dragging Rhonda away, "we're done here."

That heavy feeling exploded into something hot and I found myself twisting out of Lila's grip. I reached forward and yanked on Rhonda's elbow.

"Hey, I'm not don—"

"Get the fuck off me!" Rhonda spun around and slammed her hand against my chest.

It knocked me backwards into Lila. She caught me by the shoulder, stopping me from swishing onto the ground, and when I caught my bearings, I threw my bag onto the ground. My face was burning at this point, so when I swung back around, I threw out my palm.

Smack!

The blow knocked her backwards, chin snapping over her shoulder as her braid swung around her neck like a rope. Instinctively, her hand flew up to cover her reddening cheek. It became quiet and everyone froze, turning into a mass of gaping jaws and bug–eyed gazes. They stood so still, you'd think someone was threatening them. Their gazes were swishing from Rhonda, to me, and down to my hand. I shook it, skin burning from the impact, but I didn't regret it.

Lila was looking at me. Not with disappointment, but with resignation.

The air became cramped, the room too tight. I shifted my attention back to Rhonda. I knew I should move, but I didn't. My body was doing that thing again, where it turned into weights and prevented me from moving, like my ankles had bounded themselves to the ground. I wasn't moving even though I really, really should.

Besides, I thought with a heated breath, I didn't want to.

Rhonda's eyes squeezed shut then opened again, like she was recollecting herself. She glanced at her hand, braid falling back down her neck. I saw her shoulders move as it slowly hit her what had just happened. She then let out a breath that came from her abdomen and turned back around.

Her eyes were hot, flashing like axes. She turned her face and when she did, I realised I'd struck her split lip. I glanced at my palm, only now feeling the throbbing that rolled up to my wrist, and the small red dap smudged across the centre. I pulled a face, knowing that that had to have hurt like a bitch. It was satisfying though, I thought as I raised my head. It made the churning in my stomach simmer so, for a moment, I could pretend that it wasn't there.

That was all I needed.

Rhonda was already watching me. She lifted her thumb to wipe the blood that leaked from her lip and as she did, her eyes stayed on mine. They were made up in that familiar cat–like swipe of black, which made them even more intense. Her lips then quirked into that grin and she swung the bag from her shoulders and onto the ground.

She stepped forward but Nathalie quickly moved between us.

"Rhonda—"

Her gaze didn't move as she gently shoved her friend out of the way. Nathalie stumbled backwards and Lila quickly wrapped a hand around her wrist, dragging the darker girl back to her feet.

A faint shape moved from the corner of my eye. I turned back in Rhonda's direction when something knocked into the side of my face. My senses sloshed to the side and something warm and hard slammed into me. Heat poured and made my head spin. My ears rung, softening the sounds like I was trapped underwater. But beneath everything, I could hear a resounding 'ooooh!' that came from all directions.

Sunlight had turned my eyelids red. I hadn't even realised that they'd been shut, and blearily, I pried them open.

I was on the ground, I realised dizzily. Beneath a patch of sunlight which flashed and glimmered like it wanted to draw attention to what had just happened.

I knew I should be humiliated. I had just gotten knocked onto my ass after screaming in Rhonda's face and demanding that she fight me. The sunlight burned in a way that made it seem like my face was flushing. A knot had grown in my throat. My insides were moving in a way that I knew that I should feel embarrassed, but I didn't.

Instead, I felt angry.

I looked back up at Rhonda.

"Pay attention, meathead," she growled and held up her fists. She had her feet shoulder–width apart and her nose wrinkled like she'd smelt something bad. Her chin was dipped as her mouth pulled back into a challenging grimace.

I pressed my palms against the ground and pushed myself into a seated position. My surroundings spilled to the left as I did so. My chest softened so it felt like a marshmallow, and I wanted to vomit. I rubbed my jaw. The hit had done more damage that I had anticipated. A lot more. Especially for someone with very minimal training. I pressed my teeth together. So, Rhonda knew how to fight when pushed. She probably could've cracked some bones had I not been a Guardian. So, where was this strength when it had actually been needed?

Eyes swung between our forms as people anticipated what would happen next. Rhonda didn't move as I rolled back onto my knees. The walls wobbled. It confused me. She had hit me once, why did it hurt more than it should? The floor was pressed to my palms— but when I looked, it was rocking back and forth.

It made my stomach tilt and threatened to fall into my throat so I jammed my eyelids shut. It must have been because of my ribs. They were much better but still, I was slower than usual. Which meant I really had to stay on my toes if I didn't wanna be thrown on my ass again.

I opened my eyes, the floor having settled, and swiped my hair behind my shoulders. I moved to my feet and pressed my heels into the tiles to steady myself. I'd walked off much worse with much less. Sunlight pressed against me and I held up my fists, rolling my shoulders and motioning with my fingers.

She went in for another swing. I slid and twisted beneath her jab and went in for a shot. Her eyes followed. My hurtling fingers slammed into the side of her face, knocking her from her balance. I wrapped a hand around the end of her braid and, pressing against my heels, heaved her to the side. She yelped and flung out her arms, I went in for the opening. I slammed my foot against her torso which knocked the air from her body.

She slammed hard into the tiles. The back of her ankles made a thunking sound as her hair spilled across the floor. Her breath came in quick bursts. Her hands wrapped around her stomach, pressing against the painful pulses, and her eyes were wide. Her lips parted. Her gaze darted across the roof as her mind tried catching up to what had just happened.

I pressed a hand onto my knee as I bent forward to suck in some air. The weight against my side had shifted. It now felt like someone had twisted my insides into a knot and now the fucker wouldn't stop throbbing against my abdomen. I clamped my teeth together and pressed a hand to my side. The sun spun and swelled across my face, I could feel the heat collecting like fingers beneath my jaw. I let loose a breath from my nose and raised my eyes, peeking through my bangs. Rhonda's eyes snapped to mine like I'd shouted her name. Her expression hardened, lips clamping tight, as her fingers curled into fists.

She was up in seconds, moving her braid behind her shoulders. The light bent around her hair like a crowd, pushing a shadow that draped over me. The crowd behind her shuffled slightly, looking at one another as they questioned what was about to happen. This didn't seem like an ordinary fight, they realised, but they had no idea what had started it all. Even Lila seemed unsure of where this was headed.

Rhonda never moved her stare away from mine. She pushed the pad of her thumb against her bottom lip. I blinked and wiped my knuckles across my skirt. I hadn't realised I'd hit her that hard. Still, I couldn't deny that I felt satisfied. She had hit me first. She had started this. I was just paying her back.

I looked up in time to see her lunging.

It was quick, I barely had time to react. I probably wouldn't have if my Blue Jay senses didn't spike like a bunch of nails down my spine. I was moving to the side before I had even realised what was happening. Her fist was glancing my chin in a hell of a shot. Had she actually gotten me, I probably would've been knocked back to the ground.

She jabbed again. I ducked to the side and felt a pulse burn in my throat. She growled and swung again. I leaned back and swivelled on the back of my heel, manoeuvring around the hit and grabbing her wrist. Her eyes popped open. I swung my spare hand upwards, slamming the butt of my palm into her nose.

"Shit!" she snarled, leaping backwards. Her hands went to her nose, eyes squeezing tight as she tried to recover.

I dashed towards her. Her eyes popped back open, zeroing in on my fist, and without moving her hands, she swivelled to the side. I stumbled and a sharpness struck my scalp as Rhonda yanked on the ends of my hair. I yelped as I was forced to bend at the waist. The crowd jeered, making catcalls and promiscuous sounds. A hot ache swelled across my scalp as a heat knocked into my temples. I could see the tops of Rhonda's shoes shuffling as she moved closer towards me. I gritted my teeth and wrapped a hand around her wrist. She made a noise as I clambered onto her fingers and jerked them backwards. She screamed and I swung my head upwards—

SMACK!

—and felt it connect with her forehead.

"Ah, shit!" she staggered backwards, barely preventing herself from falling onto her ass.

"Jesus!" I cried and held onto the back of my head. It hurt way less now that my hair wasn't being yanked from my skull, but the collision still killed like a bitch. I could feel the blood rushing beneath my fingers and pumping in my ears.

"Why would you do that?!" I heard Rhonda beneath the throbbing.

"It was all I could think of!" I blurted. "You're the one who was coming at me like a creep!"

"You're the bigger creep. You started it!"

Her face was scrunched when she said that. It pissed me off. Well, it pissed me off more. Because first of all, I had not started it. She did when she couldn't stop smirking like she was Morgana fucking Pendragon from the fucking BBC. Because that's who Rhonda was—a bitch. A conniving, self-serving bitch. I'd known it. I always had known it, but for whatever reason, Nel had insisted otherwise and chose her. Fat load that had done us.

Heat seared my vision and I was rushing forward before I even became aware of it. But something wrapped around my waist and tugged me backwards. I would've fallen had the weight not acted quickly to prop me back to my feet. Frowning, I looked down at the arms snuggly wrapped around me before I was yanked backwards again. My head thumped against someone's throat and my back rolled against their front. I could feel a beating that punched against my spine. Their shoulders were pressed against mine as they pinned my arms to my side. I tried moving against the tiles, but I was swept upwards.

"Fu—let me go!" I croaked.

"No!" came Arnold's voice from behind. His breath pushed against the back of my neck as he tried holding me back.

The air around my face was still burning. Sweat had collected and swarmed across my skin like ants. My joints ached, begging me to just collapse into his arms, but I ignored it and tried jerking from his hold around me. But he was surprisingly strong. Or maybe, I was weak. Fighting Rhonda had taken a bit out of me. Not to mention, I was still technically not uninjured. So, he had a slight advantage over me.

I looked up to see that Rhonda was in a similar position. She was being held back, although it apparently took two to do so. Stinky had one arm wrapped around her, whereas Gerald had her shoulder in one hand and wrapped the other around her waist. Strands of hair popped out from her braids like she had been electrified as she tried fighting from their arms. Gerald dug his heels into the ground but she accidentally sent his hat flying from his head.

Shapes moved from my peripherals and when I looked, Nadine had approached Nathalie. They stood in the same positions, having forgotten one another, with their eyes on our forms. Lila jumped when Nadine placed a hand on her shoulder but calmed when she realised who it was.

"Are you okay?" I heard Nadine ask her.

"Yo, what the fuck is happening?!" Gerald demanded and yelped as Rhonda tried to elbow him. "What the hell is this all about?!"

"I'll tell you what this is about!" my voice curled in on itself. I could feel it rolling into a hot ball in my throat, sounding low. I tried wiggling around so I could point at Rhonda but barely could budge my wrists. "This girl is a coward! She's a fucking coward and a fake!"

"Fuck you too, you crazy bitch!" Rhonda spat. "You think you're such tough shit, but you're the most pathetic person I've ever laid my eyes on!"

"I'd rather be pathetic than a fucking coward!" I screamed. "Fuck yo—"

"What the hell is going on here?!"

Her voice came at us like a brick. It was followed by a rattling silence that sat in my stomach like knives as we all jerked our faces in her direction.

My heart dropped.

Ms. Hartman had managed to stampede her way through the crowd without any of us even noticing. She stood in a superman pose with her hands pressed into her hips and her feet shoulder–width apart. Her lips were pressed into a thin line as she glared between us with such ferocity—it felt like I was being cut.

Arnold's arms stiffened around me. He didn't let go but his stance shifted, I could feel his hand moving to press against my stomach. It sent an electric current that hammered away in my chest. His weight had pressed into me slightly like he was trying to protect me. I tried pushing down on my feelings. It was most likely the other way round—he was protecting her.

He did just see me go completely rabid.

"Both of you—" Ms. Hartman jabbed her finger at Rhonda and I. "—in the principal's office!"

We both stared at her.

In hindsight, I don't know why. It wasn't like she was going to change her mind after finding two of her own students roughed up because they'd been fighting while other students had stood around and watched (effectively ditching their own classes to do so). Maybe it was the adrenaline. Now that it wasn't pushing through as fast, our minds were trying to catch up.

"Now!"

Her voice made us jump.

I felt my heart smack the back of my throat but wrenched my arms from Arnold's grip. He didn't fight me on it and let his arms fall to his side. He stayed close as I picked my bag up from the ground. I could feel his gaze. It was soft, shining like an ambrosial glow heating up my neck. A wetness was oozing from my lip which made me frown. Pressing my finger against it, I realised that it was bleeding. Rhonda had given me a good knock, after all. Despite myself, my lips twitched into a jerky smile as I pressed my hand towards my mouth.

Arnold's hands lingered centimetres from my skin. I couldn't bring myself to glance back at him. Not like this. I didn't regret what I'd done but my face felt hot and swollen and I had no excuses I could give him.

Why do you do this, Helga?

I shoved my hands into my pockets. Pressed my lips together. Turned to leave—

"EVERYONE GET OUT OF THE WAYYYY!"

—when Ms. Ainsley appeared.

She was barrelling through the crowd like a cannonball and shoving students aside like they were bowling bins. Her face was wide and sunny. It was the happiest that I'd seen her in—well, ever. Sparkles were practically glistening from her eyes.

"DID I MAKE IT? WHERE'S THE FIGHTING—"

"Ms. Ainsley!"

The colour drained from her face. Ainsley's shoulders stiffened when she realised that she'd been caught and her eyes zapped over to Ms. Hartman. Her expression was more scrunched than before, which made Ainsley's eyes widen like baseballs.

She gulped, taking a step backwards, and feigned a worried look.

"Oh, but I mean—" she clutched her cheeks and cleared her throat. "Are the children alright? I would be ever so worried if something happened to them!"

I blinked at her voice, which had lightened so severely that it resembled a squeak toy, and from the corner of my eye, caught Lila raising her eyebrows as she recognised the imitation. Nadine and Nathalie were both staring at her, slack jawed. I felt my mouth twitch a little and dabbed my finger back to my lip to hold myself from grinning. Blood leaked from the corner. Arnold then turned to me, and without meaning to, I looked at him.

Big mistake.

His eyes were doing that thing again, holding mine in a soft but firm gaze. It turned my stomach into a sweltering pool. I couldn't tell if it was because I was nervous or guilty. He was always able to see much more than what he was told. I wondered what it was that he was seeing about me.

Nothing good, probably.

That knot in my abdomen pounded. I clamped my mouth shut, wanting to turn my neck, but found myself unable to do so. Arnold's hair was a mess, more than usual. It wasn't uncommon for Arnold's hair to look unkempt since he was always running his hands through the strands whenever he got tongue-tied. But given that he had just been holding me back, it was even more dishevelled. My fingers were twitching to clamp it all down.

He'd taken his blazer off, I realised. It must've gotten too warm. Now, he was wearing just his shirt where he had rolled his sleeves up to his forearms. A hot spasm swayed in my stomach, lurching up into my chest. His eyes darted downwards, lips dipping when he saw the oozing cut, and he took a step forward. It made my cheeks burn. The heat was self–consciously curdling in my throat. I tugged on my bag with slippery fingers, turning my face, then spinning on my heels before he could get to me.

Criminy.

---

Hours later, I was stomping down the hallways.

Granted, that wasn't an uncommon thing for me—storming around in a bad mood. That was pretty much a regular school day. Although usually, it was because something ordinary had pissed me off, like a bad smell or someone looking at me funny, or Gerald . . . being himself. But here I was, in the foulest mood I'd been in in a while and not because of any of those reasons. Instead, it was something far pettier but annoyingly clingy.

That stupid princess.

It hadn't been a peculiar sight, me in the principal's office. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't one of those kids who was sent there so much I might as well be setting my own desk up there. I was mostly sent for missing homework or assignments, stupid shit like that. But this was slightly more serious than that (and honestly, the reason why I liked to avoid people altogether).

"Fighting?! At this school, ladies?!"

Not that I regretted it, of course. Rhonda had it coming. If it hadn't been me, then it would probably be a Mutant or worse. She should count herself lucky. They must have been going easy on her in training. She had looked stunned whenever my hits would land. I'd moved fast, I thought with a slight smirk. Well, not as fast as usual, but still, even when injured, I moved faster than what people were used to. Rhonda didn't strike as the type to go around getting into fights with other people but she also didn't seem like someone to back down if she was challenged (and she just has the personality that makes me feel she's often challenged). It was a reminder that whatever she was used to, that that wasn't it. Things were faster than that, faster than her. I thought of it as a blessing in disguise, knocking some sense into her. So, I didn't feel particularly guilty about it, not even after the hour we had spent getting yelled at by our dear and loving principal. I rolled my eyes for what felt like the thirtieth time today. He could whinge all he wanted about how 'improper' we had acted, Rhonda had it coming for a long time.

I'd managed to get out of going home with my parents—Miriam didn't have her licence and Bob wasn't answering his phone—so I was stuck in isolation for the rest of the day. Obviously, we would be suspended for the remainder of the week until our parents could come in for a joint meeting. I could only imagine how that was going to go. I honestly felt a little sorry for the principal. He had no idea what he was in for.

Rhonda had already gone home—she'd been picked up in a real snazzy–looking car.

So, that left just me.

Storming down the hallways.

Lila was huddled with Arnold and Gerald at her locker. They kept themselves hushed but sounded frantic. I stopped to take in their stances; Lila's arms were pulled across her chest like she was a movie character standing on her porch and watching the sunset. Her chin was slightly lowered despite raising her eyes to look at both boys. Trying to keep her secrets from being exposed while keeping Gerald and Arnold hooked in.

Gerald was whispering the most out of the trio. His face was slightly tilted and I could see veins threatening to pop in his neck. His gaze swished between his best friends. He looked like he was trying to solve a very difficult mystery.

Arnold had his bottom lip pinched between his thumb and index finger. He was nodding along to whatever Gerald was saying but his eyes had a glazed–over look. His mind was somewhere else.

They stopped when they noticed me.

Lila straightened against her locker. Arnold blinked, coming back down to earth, and his hands moved down to his sides. An expression I couldn't make out spread across his face and he stepped forward without realising.

Their eyes widened when they took in the sad sight of my face and I grimaced. Yeah, the nurse had did what she could but there was no getting around it, Rhonda had gotten me good. I hadn't realised it until I'd been in the plastic chair, wincing as fingers pattered across my tender skin. There were swelling bruises along the right side of my face that not even a bandage could hide. A cut throbbed from my cheek and my lips had split, so it hurt whenever I smiled (not that I'd really been smiling in the past few hours. But theoretically, it would hurt if I smiled).

I'd tied my hair back so the nurse could work without the strands getting in the way so there was no getting around it—I looked like shit.

Still, I took pride in knowing Rhonda looked way worse.

"What the fuck, Pataki?" Gerald broke the silence. He approached me, eyebrows shoving up into his forehead as he examined my face. He stopped a few feet away when he realised that it was me that he was talking to. So, his hands kinda awkwardly hovered between us before he gave up and let them fall to his sides. "What the hell sparked all that?"

My cheeks flushed so I looked away.

"Nothing," I crossed my arms over my chest. "She just pisses me off."

"Clearly, it wasn't just nothing."

"Yeah, Helga," Arnold came up from behind Gerald. He had his elbows in his hands. "Whatever sparked that wasn't nothing. I haven't seen you that mad before."

I wrinkled my nose, not liking this topic, and looked around them.

"Oi, Lila, I need to talk to you."

"Hey!" Gerald ducked his face so he took over my vision and waved his hand around. "We're not finished here—in fact, we haven't even started talking! Whatever you have to say can—"

"No, it's fine, Gerald," Lila moved to his side with her arms crossed. Her expression was cool. "I wanted to talk with her anyway."

Gerald gave her a questioning look and raised his arms, which she ignored. I rolled my eyes at them but could feel Arnold watching me. So, I turned and moved away from the trio, feeling Lila quietly trail behind me.

We stopped at my locker, which was a good while away from the boys', and turned to each other so they couldn't read our lips.

"What the hell was that?" she hissed and pressed me with a frown. I let loose a breath and leaned against my locker. "Helga, I said I was fine."

"You also said that you saw progress in her," I snapped and crossed my arms. "Why the hell are you defending her? You got hurt while she . . ."

I could feel something sour burning my tongue.

"Why do you hate her so much?" Lila mirrored my actions and folded her arms. "What has she done to warrant such a response?"

"How much time do you have? And would you prefer I list my reasons alphabetically or chronologically?"

Lila scoffed with a roll of her eyes.

"How are you even asking me that?" I scowled and tilted my face. "It's Rhonda—she's always been a bitch—she ditched Nadine because she didn't fit her stupid image!"

"Helga, you haven't any room to talk about image," she suddenly snapped, which made me pause. Her eyes trailed over my face before she sighed. "Look, I'm sorry but have you ever considered that the both of you might not be so different?"

That, that made me snort.

"Don't snort, I'm serious," she said. "You both care for how others perceive you, you both hide how you feel despite being some of the most overly emotional people I've met, you both meet everything with anger and you're both stubborn," she explained with a lifted brow. "Look, I'm not saying that the two of you should become best friends, but I'm asking that you don't fight like that. She really isn't that bad, Helga."

As if to prove her wrong, my cheek began throbbing. A small, electric zap that had my fingers pressing against the bandage as if to rectify the ache. Quietly, Lila watched and pressed her lips together, waiting for my response.

I frowned. The ache was small, but it reminded me of what Rhonda was—what she was capable of and more than anything, what she wasn't capable of.

Rhonda only fought when it came to her image. The idea of having her ass publicly kicked was scarier than watching her teammate getting seriously hurt. Why else would she only react like that here rather than on the field? Rhonda only cared for her image. Because she was spoilt and a vain rich girl who got everything she ever wanted given to her on a silver platter. I had no idea why Nel had chosen her but she had been wrong to do so.

So, clenching my jaw, I held out my hand.

Lila scoffed. "You cannot be serious."

"I am, Lila. You got injured—a–a building came down on you. You said it yourself: there isn't a point in fighting when you're like that," I tried keeping my voice neutral. "And you also said you would hand it over as a last resort. And I certainly wouldn't hold my breath for the princess to do anything."

She stared at me for a while, trying to decipher whether I was serious. I was—deadly. My resolve was getting stronger the longer I stared at the right side of her face. She had since applied her makeup more delicately this time. So, unless you were really looking for it, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. But I could—and it made me sick. I wanted to twist my hands through my hair until chunks were ripped out. Instead, I settled for tightening my hand into a fist at my side.

A shadowed look passed over Lila's eyes. She was disappointed although I didn't know why. I tried not letting it bother me because I knew that I was doing the right thing. There was no safe option. My ribs had almost completely healed anyway, I would be fine.

And so would the city.

Lila sighed but pulled the pin from her pocket and slapped it into my palm.

I tried to ignore the jolt that moved through me. The metal was still warm from being kept in Lila's pocket all day. But it had an electrifying effect on my skin. I could feel it convulsing in my bones, a warm spasm that settled and spread in my stomach. The feeling went from my chest down to my elbows, filling in the joints, and stuffing me with an ostentatious glow.

I pressed my lips together, ignoring the small sting, so I could hold back the relived smile. I stuffed the pin back into my pockets, ignoring how well placed it felt in there, and crossed my arms back over my chest.

I gave her a nod and made a move to leave when Lila reached out to grab onto my elbow.

"Helga—"

"Get better, Lila," I didn't look at her as I said that. "We're better as a team than divided."

She stared at me for a while. I could imagine her lips settling back into that line as she slid her gaze across my face. Briefly, I wondered what she was searching for and if she would ever find it. But then I shook my head with a small smile and pulled myself from her grip.

She didn't protest when I left. But I could feel her watch for a little bit as I shoved my hands into my pockets, wrapping my fingers around my pin. My chest pumped with warmth. It felt good to be reunited again. It was like meeting up with an old friend. I hadn't realised how much I had missed this until now, when I could feel my pulse bounce in my wrists.

My lips quirked into a small smile. I was on my way to detention but I didn't mind.

"Helga!"

Arnold's voice washed over me like a hot wave. When I looked at him, a weightless and tingling feeling blew through me. He had come to a stop a few feet away, holding a hand to his throat with a slightly uncomfortable noise.

He kept his eyes on mine.

"W–What?" I blurted.

"What?" he repeated with his eyebrows raised, and then he laughed without humour. "Helga, you still haven't explained any of what happened back there. I mean, what was that?"

I frowned. "I told you that sh—"

"No, you didn't," he snapped then sighed. "Look, I know you like to keep people at arm's length and that I should respect that, but you got into a fight today—another one. Even worse this time."

I stared at him and felt my throat cramp. His expression was twisted and not for the first time today, I felt like I was letting him down. I tried not to let it bother me—disappointing people wasn't exactly a rare occurrence for me. But still, no matter how many times it happened, it never stopped stinging. Especially since I could never offer an explanation.

His normally kind eyes had hardened and his forehead was creased. I wanted to be hard and frictionless and produce a cool expression out of reflex. But as his gaze swept across me, I could feel it twitch. I knew he wasn't angry at me but letting him down made my chest sink. I couldn't even blame him if he was angry—he had seen me go completely berserk.

I tried not to feel the weight pressing into my chest. The anger that had swept through me was fading and a cold strain rushed to replace it. I didn't regret doing what I did to Rhonda, but I did regret getting other people involved. Maybe I shouldn't have confronted her like that.

Or maybe you shouldn't have confronted her at all.

I shook my head and flipped to another scene. Involuntarily, I remembered how close Arnold had held me. I could feel his breath on my neck, his chin tapping the top of my head, and his hand had stretched to slide across my stomach. Something hot coated my cheeks. That hadn't hit me until now. How close he had been, how he had touched me. I'd been too caught up in the moment but I . . .

I looked away.

Get over it, Pataki, it's not like he touched your bare stomach.

I wanted to groan. Great, now that was in my head.

"Look, I know I might be overstepping here but I don't care—this shit worries me, Helga," Arnold moved closer. "Y–You can't keep doing stuff like this. You can't keep . . . going off on your own and coming back with all these problems without telling people." He paused. "Like that night at school for ins—"

"What about it?"

I finally looked at him and when I did, he clamped his lips shut. Creases folded the skin between his brow and without thinking, he stepped backwards. He then froze as his actions caught up with him and stepped closer again.

"We haven't talked about it."

He said it through his teeth and a coldness swept over me.

I looked away. "What is there to talk about?"

"What is there to—" he laughed. "Helga, we almost died."

I looked around and sent him a glare. "Would you keep your voice down?"

He frowned, eyes darting around, but relented.

"Look, I'm sorry, I jus—" he sucked in a breath. "I'm worried, okay? I don't like seeing you like this. Just—I know you like your space and that you have Lila and all, jus—" he moved closer so he was inches from me. "Please . . . stop doing this. Stop putting yourself in danger."

My heart rattled in my chest. I wanted to promise him that it would be okay, but I couldn't. I couldn't afford to. Hell, I wish I could even be there for him concerning that night at school, but I couldn't do that either. I struggled lying to him. I could barely do it ordinarily, let alone keep doing it during a conversation like that. I wanted to be there for him but I couldn't.

Not without putting him—or the team—in danger.

"I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

I gave him one last smile before turning on my heels.

His gaze pressed into my spine like fingernails. He didn't chase after me and I reminded myself that that was a good thing. Because it was, Pataki. That's what I was telling myself as I continued down the hallway. But I couldn't get his face from my head, no matter how much I tried to.

The disappointment that had filled his eyes.

---

So, what did we think? To be honest, I wasn't big on the fight between Rhonda and Helga, writing wise. I wanted it to be cloudier since Helga's very heated and lost in her anger so she's not thinking very clearly. Instead, I think it came out too clear, but oh well, I liked writing Arnold's scenes wih her (actually, surprisingly, they're the easiest scenes to write usually).

Anyway onto the reviews!

Kryten: Yes, it was nice giving her some happiness and honestly, just a chance to settle down. I've been writing the outlines for the next few chapters and though obviously, she's going to be busy still being Blue Jay, the strain should somewhat be lessening as the group grows and her relationships with her friends develop more! There actually is something about Rhonda's powers that will be revealed soon! I've been watching the MCU a lot which basically prompted me to go more indepth about the girl's powers which is really exciting cause I'm such a nerd when it comes to the technicalities of character's superpowers. Hopefully you liked this chapter!

acosta perez jose ramiro: Thank you! Yeah, I try to portray less of a "who's right and who's wrong" scenario and more of a "this is how this person feels." Cause even though Lila and Nel are doing what's logically and emotionally best for both Helga and the team, Helga likely will still feel frustrated cause not only has she just gotten used to constantly being in motion, but she's more controlling than she lets on. She likes to have an upper hand or be aware of everything that is happening around her and it's really tough for her to release that need for control, even to people whom she trusts. I personally don't think it makes her right or wrong but just human. Thanks for the review!

Rosali Leon Huamani: ¡de nada! ¡gracias por leer!

AnimeMangaLover23: Aww, thank you so much! Yes, I looooove the magical girl genre but my biggest gripe with it is how formulaic it is. The magical girls are normally only given one type of attack or weapons that can ne used in very specific ways and I wish to see it portrayed more in a superheroic-fashion, where if someone has powers over water for instance, they have powers over water rather than only like three water based attacks. So, that definitely came over in here. I adore superhero stories but wish there were more dedicated to magical girl-type scenarios where the protagonists are genuinely ordinary and not always geniuses. And Helga just seems so perfectly suited for a superhero/magical girl story so I just had to write it. Thanks so much for your review, it really made me smile!

CelebrityMartyr: Hey there! Thank you so much! Yes, even though the chapters can take their time, I really do put a lot into them because I enjoy telling these types of stories! Yeah, I can understand that; Helga was still very new (and very exhausted) so she was getting her ass handed to her but I like to think she's since become a lot more stable since it's been longer. I've even been upping her badassery in the outlines (it definitely reflects by next chapter, I think). I'm so glad to hear that about the lack-ish of Shortaki! I've been trying to add in more scenes between them (and they're always sweet and surprisingly easy to write) but sometimes, I just feel like Helga's friendships deserve to be front and centre since I view them as just as valuable as her romantic relationships. Hopefully you enjoyed this chapter as well!

Okay and that's all! Again, if you have any questions you wanna shoot over and can't wait for the next chap, just check out my tumblr! I was pretty quiet beforehand just due to focusing on this chapter but I'll be there and ready to answer any comments! There's also been some beautiful artwork posted there, if you wanted to check them out!

But anyway, that's all I have to say, so hopefully you enjoyed this chapter and see you in the next!