Chapter 4. Retrospection

Daniel showed Vala how to dig for bait and though she thought the little slimy things in the ground were interesting, she definitely didn't want to touch them.

"They're Icky. How can you stand handling those things?"

"It's not that bad, really. And it washes off." Daniel knew he could use tied flies but he wanted Vala to experience this the way he'd learned how. He knew fly fishing would be difficult for someone who'd never fished in her life. Vala sat quietly next to him along the river bank with the pole in her hand while he stood and cast his line repeatedly.

"What are you doing?" She watched the graceful arc of the line as it went through the air and touched the water. It was graceful and Daniel sure looked like he knew what he was doing. She liked watching him.

"I'm fly fishing," Daniel answered. "If I do this right, we'll have fresh fish for dinner."

"Didn't we have fish for dinner Saturday night?"

"Yes, but that fish was bought at a market. I'm trying to catch our dinner."

"Seems to me that the market was a whole lot easier."

"Yes, it would be, but it wouldn't be as much fun." Daniel continued to cast his line as she gave him a look that pretty much said, "FUN? You call this fun?"

Daniel yelled, "YES!" and pulled in a good sized trout. He measured it and determined that it was within legal limits and told Vala they could quit if she wanted to. She gladly helped him carry the poles and tackle box back to the cabin and he showed her how to clean a trout.

She was grossed out by it but continued to watch as he prepared it by spraying some tin foil with oil spray and placing the cleaned trout on the foil. He then went about adding onions, green peppers and sliced tomato, and then he wrapped it up and put it in the oven. He'd started the fire when they went in from fishing so it was warmed up and two potatoes were already wrapped in foil and roasting nicely.

"This won't take long." He went through the cooler he'd brought and pulled out some small yellow and green vegetables. He set the iron skillet on the stove top, put in about a tablespoon of olive oil and added sliced summer squash and zucchini and onion. He sprinkled that with a little oregano and it was done very quickly. Vala watched him and marveled that he could cook so well. He seemed very comfortable in front of the stove.

"Where did you learn to cook, Daniel?"

"Well, it was mostly by myself. Trial and error, well... a lot of error, but over time I figured it out. It's not hard." He put the skillet off to the side to stay warm and checked the oven "It's done." After unwrapping the fish and potatoes, he put a helping on each plate and then added the squash dish. He sprinkled some Parmesan cheese over the squash and took both plates over to the table.

Vala tasted the fish and potatoes (with butter and sour cream on them) and then tried the squash. Daniel watched her as he took a bite. Not everyone likes squash and he was prepared for a negative reaction. But, much to his surprise, Vala pronounced it "very good" and asked him what he called it.

"I don't have a name for it. It's just something I threw together one day as an experiment. I sometimes add browned hamburger to it."

"Well, I like it," Vala pronounced, as she took another bite. "And the fish is wonderful."

"I'm glad." Daniel was pleased that she wasn't afraid to try something new.

They finished their meal and cleaned up afterwards, he washed – she dried. Then he went over and started a fire in the hearth. He sat down in the big easy chair and pulled Vala sideways onto his lap. She laid her head on his shoulder and they both sighed contentedly.

"Vala, we should talk. Things between us are happening a bit faster than I thought they would. I'm not complaining, mind you, but I want to know what you think."

"Daniel, it's no secret that I've been attracted to you ever since we met and I beat you up."

"You tried."

"And succeeded." She smiled at him and he chuckled.

"Okay, you win," Daniel said. "It did take a few days for the bruises to disappear. I'm serious, though."

"So am I. I took one look at you after I zatted you and couldn't believe my good fortune. I had a prisoner who was probably the handsomest man I had seen in a long, long time."

Daniel knew he must be blushing but he pushed on, "Okay, let's get past the first encounter. When you contacted our off world base and said that you had an artifact that you needed help translating, and you asked for me specifically, I was surprised. How did you know I could help you?"

"When I lured the guard into my cell, I got his zat away from him and closed the door, leaving him in the cell. Then, I found a computer and uploaded everything I could into the Al-Kesh. It took a while for them to discover that I wasn't in my cell. Then I made my escape. Whenever I had time, I read everything I could. I found out all about you and when I came across that rock and finally got the cipher, I knew you were the one to contact."

"Very clever," Daniel was amused. "You're a very resourceful woman."

"I have to be. It's a man's universe. If a woman wants to succeed, she has to push her way around. I know now how that bothered you, but you have to realize, Darling, that it was the only way I could survive out there. I couldn't trust anyone! I had to cheat, connive... do whatever it took."

"I know that now," Daniel said. "But, at the time, I didn't understand. Since you've joined the SGC, you've been wonderful. And, I know it hasn't been easy."

"No, it hasn't, but I hope I've proved to you that I'm not as bad as you thought I was." Vala looked him straight in the eyes and said, "I never fit in anywhere before. I always felt out of place."

"Daniel knew that he completely understood what she was talking about. "I felt the same way, once. It wasn't until after I descended and got my memories back that I found peace."

"I'm not there, yet. But, I think it's on the horizon." Vala settled herself against his shoulder again and they both sat for a while, just watching the fire.

"I want to ask you something and I hope you won't be offended. Would you tell me about your wife?"

Daniel knew that question would eventually be asked but he never liked talking about what happened.

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything. How did you meet? How long were you married? What happened to her?"

Daniel sat quietly for a moment and thought about how to start. "This could take a while."

"We've got 3 or 4 days, Dear. It won't take that long, will it?" She ran her right hand up and down his left shoulder and said, "Is this too hard for you?"

"I've never really discussed it with anyone. Jack knows most of it, but I haven't told him the whole story, either." Daniel stared into the fire and smiled. "She was a gift."

"You're kidding me, right?" Vala couldn't imagine Daniel accepting a woman as a gift. He wasn't a user of women.

"Let me tell it." He settled her more comfortably against himself and proceeded. "The gate was discovered in Giza, Egypt back in 1929 by Cathrine's father's team. He was a famous archaeologist from Germany, which is a country far away from here. Remember the globe I showed you, in my office?"

"Yes, I've looked at it numerous times. Germany is across the Atlantic Ocean, am I right?"

"Yes, you are?" He kissed her right hand. "Nobody knew what it was and one time they actually opened the event horizon and Catherine's fiancé went through it. It shut down behind him and he was left alone on the planet he went to for 50 years. Catherine was told he was dead."

"That's dreadful!"

"We found him 9 years ago and he and Catherine were reunited. They got married and they live in Florida."

"That's sweet but all those years alone. I can't imagine what it must have been like."

"It was hard for him. When we found him, I almost stayed there on his planet. We'd found a sort of library there and I wanted to study it. Jack talked me into coming back and just as we were coming through the gate, the whole place fell off a cliff into the ocean. I wouldn't have survived." He paused as if in deep thought and Vala quietly waited.

"Anyway, after he disappeared through the gate that first time, the scientists tried to figure out what happened to him but they didn't have a clue what they were working with. So, the gate was put in storage and pretty much forgotten about.

Catherine tried for years to get them to do research on it and it was about 13 years ago that she finally got permission to study the thing. Sam was on that research team and even with her help, they didn't make much progress.

Then, Catherine read a article in Archeology Today magazine that I wrote, giving my theory that the pyramids were a lot older than we thought and that aliens played a part in building them. I had figured that the written language was approximately 10,000 years old... much older than the experts wanted to admit. I was giving a lecture in New York when she found me. The lecture was a disaster. I should have listened to those around me telling me that nobody would believe me. SO, after I made a complete fool of myself, she found me and invited me to Cheyenne Mountain. I figured out what the symbols were, purely by accident, but they gave me the credit and I helped open the gate.

We went to Abydos, killed Ra... well, the alien who was posing as 'Ra.'

We found a village and met the people but they thought we were gods. I tried to explain to them but it took a while. Meanwhile, the village chief, Kasuf, gave me his oldest daughter. I didn't even know we were married. She came to my tent and I misunderstood and hurt her feelings. It was a few days before I learned what really happened. By that time, we had grown to like each other and it wasn't difficult to take it from there.

Jack returned with his team and I stayed. I lived with them for a year and it was fantastic."

Vala could tell by the way he talked that he was excited about his life there. His breathing and heart rate sped up and he talked faster. She smiled and listened as he told about how he helped in the village by teaching them how to speak English. 'He must have been very happy. I wonder what happened?'

After he told about that magical year, he grew quiet. She could tell that whatever he was remembering, it was heart breaking. He swallowed a few times and she could tell that he was getting upset.

He said, "Can we stop now? I'm tired and I think I should wait until tomorrow to tell you what happened."

"Of course. Daniel, I'm sorry. I've forced you to talk about something that's obviously very upsetting."

He hugged her close and said, "It's alright. That year we had together was the happiest I'd ever had. I'd finally found my place. I belonged there with her and her family."

She sat up and noted that his eyes were welling up so she kissed his forehead and said, "Let's go to bed. This can wait."

He wiped both his eyes and said, "This is ridiculous. It's been 11 years since we had that year and I still get upset talking about it." He looked away, embarrassed by his behavior.

She gentlyturned his head towards her and looked into his eyes. "It just shows me that you must have loved her very, very much. She was a very lucky woman."

He watched her face as she said that. 'She's not jealous of Sha're? Some women would be.' He pulled her in for a kiss and they sat in that chair and made out like a couple of love sick teenagers. It became obvious within minutes that they both wanted to make love so he banked the fire and they both retired for the night.

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Much later, when they'd been asleep for a few hours, Vala woke up and thought maybe she'd heard something. Then she realized that Daniel was talking in his sleep. She'd had her head on his chest and heard him say, "No. Sha're, run!" His pulse was starting to speed up and she grew concerned. She reached up and caressed the side of his face and said, "Shhhh. It's okay, Daniel. You're dreaming."

Her soothing voice must have made it through his senses because he calmed down, turned towards her and gathered her into his arms. He was back into a deep sleep within minutes and as she laid there next to him, with her head under his chin, she could only marvel at the love he'd had for his long dead wife. 'To have nightmares after all these years... they must have had a wonderful marriage.' She drifted back to sleep, thinking how wonderful it was that he trusted her enough to share that with her.