History of Magic lesson. Quarter to three on a Friday afternoon.
Those ten, no, wait, eleven words alone can drive a stake of horror into any Hogwarts student's heart. But I am not any Hogwarts student. No, I am Lily Evans, and I have an addition to stick on the end of that terrible, terrible title:
History of Magic lesson. Quarter to three on a Friday afternoon. Potter and Black sitting behind me.
It doesn't take much intelligence to figure out what happens next, does it?
Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.
For the third time in five minutes, I turned around in my seat, and glared long and hard at the sniggering, wholly annoying outline of James bloody Potter.
"Do. You. MIND?" I snarled through clenched teeth, making Black lean over his desk and bite into his knuckles in a fresh wave of suppressed sniggers. Potter blinked 'innocently' at me.
"It was him!" he whispered, in his 'sincere' voice, pointing a finger at Black, who straightened up at once to blink innocently as well.
"Don't listen to him! It was him!" he hissed at me, nodding gravely. I narrowed my eyes at the pair of them.
"I don't give a sod who's doing it," I snapped in a whisper, "Just stop kicking my effing chair!"
"I try to stop him," sighed Potter, unable to keep his infuriating smirk off his face, "But he just won't listen to me!"
As I rolled my eyes and turned around, I thought I heard Black mutter something to him, and then both of them (quietly) cracked up. Angrily, I pushed my hair out of my eyes and glared up at the wrinkly Professor Binns as he continued to drone onwards in his lecture. 'Merlin,' I pleaded silently, 'Please, for once, let him notice no-one is listening. Let him take pity on our bored souls and let us go early. That is all I ask.'
Thunk.
Ignoring it, I carried on. 'I will always listen attentively in every single HoM lesson from now on if you do.'
Thunk.
'I will be extra nice to Professor Binns, and not laugh at his wrinkly ears behind his back.'
Thunk.
'I will take copious notes - '
Thunk.
'- and study really hard for the exam - '
Thunk.
' – and…'
Thunk.
' – and...'
Thunk.
' – and…MURDER BLOODY POTTER!'
With a shriek like a banshee, I grabbed the first thing that came to hand (Marlene's pencil case) whipped round, and threw it as hard as I could at the messy haired GIT otherwise known as James Potter.
Merlin, how I was looking forward to watching that pink, fluffy pencil case strike Potter square in the forehead (WHACK!) and bounce elegantly into Black's eye (POW!) then watch and laugh as the pair of them fell to the floor, unconscious. (SLAM!)
Pity it missed.
Pity it soared straight over their heads.
Pity it went bouncing straight off Severus Snape's head, making half the class laugh at him and making him give me the nastiest glare in the history of the universe.
Damn, did I feel bad.
But on the plus side, at least it made Binns wake up from his lecture filled sleep to give me a detention. I mean, at least it gave everyone else a break from listening to him.
They all laughed at me instead.
I am hating Potter so much right now; I think it may have become the centre of my life.