The common room was almost empty by the time I stumbled back in through the portrait at around half eleven, absolutely exhausted and with the bags under my eyes to prove it. After Potter had made that oh-so helpful little statement to me I had proceeded to write another fifty lines in which Binns still hadn't turned up, got angry, threw the parchment at the wall and stormed out in a fit of rage (after picking up the parchment again and chucking in the bin on my way out.)
Well! What kind of a teacher does that, anyway?
And why didn't Potter tell me SOONER, for Merlin's sake?
I hated him. I hated him. I BLOODY HATED HIM!
So, when I stamped through the common room muttering darkly to myself, I wasn't exactly enthralled to hear this lazy drawl say: "So you finally decided to believe Jamesie then, Evans?"
It was stupid Black, accompanied by stupid Potter, and their stupid friends who I didn't know. I stood stock still and glared at him, trying to burn out his eyes with the fire in mine.
Unfortunately, like I discovered last time, it didn't have much of an effect. Black only put two fingers up by the sides of his head and imitated a bull, barking hysterically as he did it. God, he has such an annoying laugh. Sounds like a bloody dog.
"You know, normal people actually laugh when they find something funny," I said icily, making him stare at me in confusion. I walked away in triumph. Let him figure out the hidden insult later. I thought I heard one of them snigger slightly as I ascended the stairs, and smiled as I flopped face first into my pillow. It seemed one of them had got it.
The next morning, I woke up to the less than lovely sight of a view directly up Marlene's nose.
"Lily!" she was yelling into my ear. "LILY!"
"Bloody HELL, Marlene," I croaked out, sitting up so fast she had to leap out the way so we didn't crack foreheads. "What's your problem?"
She stared at me with what looked like something close to amazement in her eyes. "I've been trying to wake you up for five minutes now!"
"Whoop-dee-do, five whole minutes," I muttered sarcastically, kneading my knuckles into my eyes. "So what's with the yelling and screaming?"
She rolled her eyes at that. "You've overslept. Breakfast will finish in about fifteen minutes."
"WHADT?" I'd never jumped out of bed so fast in my life. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"I did," she replied, inspecting her nails as I tore around the room, looking for a clean pair of socks. "You told me to piss off and rolled over."
Throwing dignity to the winds, I ripped my nightshirt over my head while I had only my underwear on, and ran about in the half-nude as I rummaged around for bra and tee-shirt. "When have you ever taken anything I say in my sleep seriously?" I cried, tossing various clothes over my shoulder as I practically tore the drawer apart. "You know I sleep-talk!"
She blinked over at me, all innocently. "Lily, when you tell someone to piss off, I think you'll find they take it very seriously. Especially when you're screaming at them, and start chucking pillows into the bargain."
Moody cow. She always exaggerates.
Anyway, ten minutes later found us both running down the stairs, my hair standing out about a foot around my head in a tangled bush, Marlene holding my shoes and comb while I knotted up my tie, and a couple of fourth years laughing hysterically at us as we scrambled by.
"I'm glad you find it so bloody funny!" I snapped at them, before swearing loudly as I mucked up my tie. That only made them laugh louder. Cows.
As we reached the bottom step, I was hopping on one foot trying to fit a shoe onto the wrong foot (only, of course, I didn't know that at the time) and Marlene was attempting to rake through my tangles as I did this, which was rather difficult as I was jumping up and down like a blooming jack in the box. Result was, she kept poking me painfully in the scalp with my comb, which did wonders to improve my mood. Or not.
"Ow! Marlene!" That comb was damn sharp when it was hitting you repeatedly in the head.
"Well, if you'd just keep still!"
"How can I do that, I'm putting my shoes on!" In frustration, I hurled my shoe across the room, which wasn't the best of ideas as there were several people in there at the time, and I don't think any of them would have appreciated my shoe sticking out of their forehead first thing in the morning. Luckily for me, however, it only bounced off the wall and landed on a sofa. Nice.
I groaned. "Now I have to go all the way over there. It's a Wednesday morning and I'm tired and hungry, Marlene. No-one cares."
"I care!" she goes, sounding all sincere and nice.
"No you don't!" I moaned, tears of self-pity welling up in my eyes. "If you cared, you'd have woken me up at a decent time this morning. But as it happens, you didn't. Everybody hates me. I have no friends."
"Lily!" Marlene sounded shocked. "Don't you dare say that! I've been your friend from the word go! Now stop pitying yourself and go pick up your shoe. What's wrong with you?"
That was just it. I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me. "I don't knoooOOOW!" I cried, stamping over to where my shoe lay. "It's just going to be one of those days, isn't it?" I picked it up and waved it in the air. "I mean, I've only been up for ten seconds and already everything's gone wrong. And it will be like that for the rest of the day." I lifted up my foot to slot it into my shoe, wobbled, lost my balance, fell over and whacked my head on the table. I looked up at Marlene. "See what I mean?"
She stared at me, bottom lip shaking for a moment, before bursting into hysterical laughter.
Yup. That's it. Yet another person to laugh at me that day. Just call me Lilbo the clown, why don't you.