A/N: Ok, this is a much sooner update as I actually had planned, but I don't think that anybody minds… or do you?

Dedicated to

SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin aka Bria: Because her story Say You'll Love Me got deleted with the reason that she has posted song lyrics, although she didn´t. Don´t worry in a few days you will be able to post your story again and I really hope you will still post it, because I like the story… very much!

Btw, thanks for defending me against the flamer… that really meant a lot to me!

Aurora Mikayla: Because this girl just rocks and not to forget her wonderful stories… you have to read them… you love them! Expect a mail from me today… a really long mail.

Cherry Jade: Because she is just the best… a great beta, a wonderful friend and a very talented authoress!

RaeRikkuStrong: Because she just so cool and her stories rock… go check them out. If you like RaeRob you love her stories!
Thank you again for the dedication in your newest story "Wren"… that was so great!

Raven-Angel-of-Darkness: Because her reviews are always so awesome and her stories are wonderful… and she is just fanatastic!
So, you had smiliar idea? What can I say? Great minds think alike!

Chica De Los Ojos Cafe: Because she is one of my most faithful reviwers. She had read my stories from the beginning (And I can tell you, I sucked terribly at the beginning… not that I´m better now…) and her reviews always makes me smile.

So, enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own the Teen Titans!


Chapter Five:

Change Me

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He should be happy… really happy.

Raven was coming back home with him and she had forgiven him… or at least she was talking to him again and when he had to tell her everyday – for the rest of his life - that he was sorry he would do it…

Yes, Richard Grayson should be more than happy, but… there was something – or someone – that prevented him from being really happy.

His cobalt eyes wandered to the two seats next to him in the plane: Raven was sandwiched between him and… Roy Harper.

Richard growled silently as he looked at the red-haired young man.

Raven and Roy were both sleeping and while Roy's head was leaning against the plane-window, Raven's head was resting on… Roy's shoulder… and it made him angry – so angry, but he didn't know why.

It was nothing… it meant nothing… but…

Who was he kidding…?

Richard knew why he was so angry and why he felt so bad… Raven never let her guard down – at least not with people she didn't know, but even when she knew the people, they had to earn her trust before she let them know her… or touch her.

Raven was reluctant with personal contact and Richard was proud to be one of the few people who were allowed to hug her without getting killed… but now it seems as if he wasn't the only one anymore.

It wasn't right… it just wasn't right that this Roy Harper guy had won her trust so soon. Raven wasn't as cold or as stiff in Roy's company as she usually was with strangers. She was laughing with him and smiling at him… argh, why couldn't he stop thinking about her…?

He should think about Kori… he would see her again…

'Think about Kori… Kori… Kori… Kori…'

But all he saw was Raven and Roy together – her head resting on his shoulder while sleeping and as much as he tried to tell himself that it meant nothing, he knew exactly the amount intimacy of this simple gesture –

Richard was interrupted in his thoughts as Raven began to stir in her seat and out of an impulse, Richard grabbed her hand. He had always found it funny how cold her hands always were, yet how easily they could make him feel warm and safe.

Richard was happy to see that Raven didn't jerk her hand away, but kept a firm hold on it, but what really delighted him and brought a smile on his handsome face was the one word that fell from her lips.

"Richard…"

'Maybe, I really should be happy!' And with that though he closed his eyes letting sleep consume him – his hand still intertwined with Raven's.

"Dick!" Raven looked at the tall, beautiful woman who was frantically at the ebony haired man next to her.

Slowly, Richard let go of her hand he had insisted to hold ("You could get lost!") and jogged to the waving beauty enveloping her in a hug and kissing her gently.

Raven had almost laughed out loud… it was a typical scenario. She had always been invisible to Richard when Kori was there. She should be used to this by now, but somehow it still hurt.

Her eyes downcast, Raven began to walk to the loving couple as she felt a hand on her shoulder. Looking up, Raven met blue eyes and a warm smile.

"Roy…" She just said and Roy took her hand in his.

Raven stared at him the question visible in her eyes.

"We don't want you to get lost…" Roy repeated Richard's earlier words and winked at her.

She just rolled her eyes, but didn't let go of his hand.

Richard let go of his girlfriend and looked back at Raven… and Roy… holding hands…?

His eyes narrowed at the sight and he felt his hands clenching at their own accord, but he pulled himself together as Raven and Roy stopped in front of him and Kori.

"Dear friend Raven," Kori exclaimed in her sweet voice and hugged Raven. "I'm glad you are back… I was so worried…"

"Thanks, Kori…" Raven said as Kori let go and she looked at the red-head's emerald eyes and Raven realized that her situation would be so much better if she actually could hate Kori.

She would feel better if Kori was an arrogant prep or mean or stupid, but unfortunately Kori was beautiful and kind and innocent and as much as Raven tried to hate her, she couldn't… she couldn't hate Kori. "It's… good to see you!" And it was not a lie, it was good to see Kori and to be back in Jump City – no matter how much pain this city caused her.

"So, who is the young man next to you?" Kori voiced her question.

"Oh, this is Roy… Roy Harper. He works for my father and he is on a business trip in Jump City." Raven explained and with her head turned to Roy, she said. "And this is Kori Anders." With that said Raven stepped as side and waited for the inevitable… Kori just had a way to enchant people and Roy wouldn't be an exception. He would be fascinated from her beauty and innocence just like every other guy and Raven could totally understand why.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Roy said and smiled politely at Kori and Kori flashed him one of her sweet smiles… and that was it.

Roy turned to a perplexed Raven. "I think, I should go to the hotel now. I have some important meetings tomorrow." He flashed her another one of his warm smiles and before Raven knew what she was doing the words slipped out of her mouth.

"You don't have to go to a hotel. You can stay with us… I mean, in my apartment…" She trailed off unsure of herself and embarrassed.

"Your roommates wouldn't mind?" Roy asked back and Raven gained her confidence again.

"No, and the apartment is big enough… my mother had made sure that we have plenty of space."

"Three women – from which one of them I actually knew that she is beautiful – and me? An offer I can't say no to…" Roy laughed as Raven rolled her eyes, but the smile on her lips showed clearly how she felt.

From the corner of her eyes Raven could see the scowl on Richard's face and she asked herself why he didn't seem to like Roy.

She had to ask him later.

"Glorious," Kori said and smiled happily. "Now, we can go… the others are surely waiting…"

"The others?" Raven asked.

Kori blushed and fidget a bit. "Terra and Karen, I mean…"

"Ok…" Raven could think what Kori tried to hide and she really hoped she was wrong… really wrong.

"SUUUUPPPPRRRISEEE!" Was the first thing Raven heard as she entered her apartment.

She looked around the living-room and saw Terra, Karen, Garfield and Victor standing in the decorated room… all smiled hugely at her and before she could say anything, she was between Terra and Karen who hugged her tightly.

"I'm so happy that you are back…" Terra said.

"You can't imagine how much we missed you." Karen finished for Terra.

Raven rolled her eyes, still between her two friends. "I was away for two days… just two days… it's not like I was away for a long time."

"But we still missed you, dark girl!" Victors booming voice could be heard and he gently pushed Terra and Karen away to envelop her in a bear hug. "Never do that again, do you hear me." The tall man chided her, but his grey eyes looked warmly at her. "You are the only one with whom I can work on my Baby."

Raven just sighed and stepped away from the hug.

"So, you really did think I am funny, huh?" Garfield asked as he stepped next to her and hugged her lightly. His blonde hairs were falling into his hunter-green eyes.

"Who ever told you that was obviously lying!" Raven deadpanned in a bored tone.

"But… you… Terra… funny… argh…" Gar stammered and for a moment Raven was tempted to laugh out loud, but stifled it.

"Wow… it's great to know how much you missed ME!" Richard finally spoke up and stared in mock-anger at his friends. "Where's my surprise party?"

Victor just waved him away and turned again to Raven. "Don't you want to introduce your new friend?" He asked slyly.

"Dude," Garfield had found his voice again and looked at the red-haired man who was standing next to Raven. "He looks like Dick… only with read hair… they could be twins…"

"Gar…!" Terra elbowed her boyfriend and Karen and Vic snickered behind their hands.

Raven just smiled while Richard fumed and Roy looked amused and Kori just seemed a bit confused.

"Actually, this is Roy Harper, the new CEO of my father´s company and he has some busissnes meetings here in Jump City… and… he will stay here… in our apartment…?" Raven spoke and at the last part she looked at Terra and Karen asking their opinion. She just hoped that they had nothing against it, but they just winked at her, a sly and wicked glint in their eyes.

Raven sighed inwardly… that meant nothing good. "And Roy that are my friends… the tall, bulky man is Victor, next to him is Garield, the blonde is Terra and Karen…"

Victor stepped in front of Roy and with a menacing voice he spoke "Ok, Roy,… I have just one question to you: Meat or tofu?"

"Dude, of course tofu… he definitely likes tofu!" Gar nearly screamed

"Nobody likes tofu!"

Roy blinked – surprised and Raven found it amusing to see his confident farcade crumbling. He leaned towards Raven and whispered. "Are they always so… lively…?"

"Most of the times." Raven whispered back and then said loudly. "Guys, stop the yelling! I´m sure Roy will eat everything you give him. He is not picky, are you?" Raven smirked at Roy evilly as Victor and Garfield grabbed Roy and dragged him towards the kitchen… definitely to let him try their "meals".

Terra and Karen and Kori follwed the group in attempt to stop Garfield and Victor.

Raven turned to Richard who stood some feet behind her. She noticed that he still had the scowl on his face and he was biting on his lip… he was angry, Raven knew that.

"Richard," She called out to him. "Are you alright?"

"Of course," He answered. "Why shouldn´t I?" And it was clear from his tone that he didn´t want to talk anymore.

Raven shook her head and began to walk to kitchen. "If you say so."

Richard stared after her retreating form and sighed loudly. This was going to be two very long weeks until Roy would leave…

After almost two hours of listening to Garfield´s jokes, Victor´s rambling about his Baby and Terra´s and Karen´s bubbling about the newest gossip, Raven had managed to escape to her room.

She knew that nobody would mind that she had left – although the party was held for her, but her friends knew that she wasn´t really a party-person.

The two hours she had endured was enough to show her friends how she apricated the party and how happy she was to be back… but truthfully, she doubted that anybody had noticed her absence: Victor and Gar were – again – busy arguing over the food, Terra and Karen had manged to corner Roy trying to learn everything about him. And Kori and Richard were too busy with each other… they wouldn´t miss her..

Raven sighed as she let herself fall onto her bed and just as she hit the bed a knock sounded from the door.

Knock, Knock

"Raven, are you in there…?"

"Yeah, come in, Rich!"

The was opened and Richard entered her room.

"I couldn´t find you in the living-room, so I decided to look for you." He explained as he closed the door behind himself approaching her bed.

"You noticed my absence?" Her voice dripped with sarcasm and Richard raised his eyebrows.

Raven opted not say something, but just shook her head. In response Richard rolled his eyes and motioned her to make space on her bed. Raven scooted away and Richard laid down next to her.

For some minutes they just laid there starring at the ceiling – a comfortable silence wrapping around them – before Richard decided to speak.

"Are you alright?" He asked without looking away from the ceiling.

"Yes…" Raven replied.

"You're lying!" Richard told her annoyed.

"When you already know that I'm not alright, why do you ask at all?"

A sigh was her reply.

"You're being difficult!" Richard said.

"When I'm not difficult?" She asked and rather saw, than felt the smile on Richard's face.

"Tell me something – something I don't know about you… something nobody else knows…" Richard finally decided to say.

It was a game – a game they had began to play after the death of Richard's parents. They were eight at the time and now, ten years later, they still played it.

"Sometimes I wish I could be someone else," Raven said quietly.

Richard frowned and rolled onto his right so that he could look at her.

"Why?" He asked her as she as well rolled onto her sight. Now they could look at each other.

Raven shrugged. "I don't know. Sometimes I just wish I could be as carefree as Terra or as courageous as Karen or… as innocent and beautiful as… Kori…" Raven trailed off as she realized what exactly she had said.

"I don't want you to change," Richard told her in all honestly. He couldn't understand why she would wish to be someone else. She was perfect the way she was. "I like you the way you are."

A sad smile flashed over her face at his words. "Yeah, you like me…"

"Raven, what-"

But Raven cut him short before he could finish his question. "It's your turn!"

The dark haired man tried to read her… to understand why she seemed so sad, but he realized that she didn't want him to know and although he wanted to know why, Richard let it slide for this moment and proceeded to answer her request.

"Do you remember when we were eight and for almost a year someone would call you every morning and wake you up, but the person didn't say a thing?"

Raven nodded and Richard continued. "The person was me. At that time… I feared that you would die and disappear… just like my parents had died and I wanted to be sure that you were still there… and sometimes… I still do it…" He confessed and a slight blush spread over his cheek.

He looked at Raven to see her expression and was surprised to see her laugh.

"Why are you laughing?"

"I knew that already," she told him her amethyst lighting up.

"You did?" Richard just asked.

"Yeah…"

"Oh…"

"So…?"

"How…?"

"I'm your best-friend Richard…"

"That's not an answer!" Richard lectured her.

"Who said that?"

"I…"

"Your bad," She told him and shrugged. "For me, it's a perfectly fine answer!"

"Yeah, whatever…" Richard pouted and Raven rolled her eyes.

"You look cute when you are pouting…"

"You mean gorgeous," Richard flashed her a cocky grin.

"More like grotesque…" She deadpanned as she brushed his hair out of his eyes.

"I missed that, you know…" Richard spoke as he took her hand in his.

"Me too…" Raven replied and took her hand away from his grasp and tried to ignore the hurt expression that flashed over his face.

"Something is bothering you, Rae… tell me…" Richard pleaded with her.

"It's nothing… really…" She tried to assure him, but Raven knew that he wouldn't believe her… heck, she couldn't believe herself… not when she wasn't able to look into his eyes.

"You're lying again. You can tell me everything Raven."

"You wouldn't understand…" She tried to get away from his questions.

"Try me, I could surprise you." Richard wouldn't stop until he knew what was wrong with her. He had to know… whatever was wrong hurt her and he couldn't stand the fact that there was something that made his best-friend sad.

"You would hate me…" She whispered and he had to strain his ears to catch it and Richard was surprised and at the same time mad as he understood what she had said.

How could she say something like that? How could she think – even just for a second – that he would hate her?

How could he hate the person who knew him better than anyone? How could he hate the person who was always there for him and had never given up on him?

"Raven… Rae," He reached out and creased her cheek. "I would… I could never hate you… just tell me, okay?" His blue eyes bored into her soul and for the first time he saw how sad she had been all the time… and he hadn't seen it.

All the time, he had been too occupied with Kori, Bruce and the company that he hadn't seen that Raven was suffering.

"Tell me and I will help you… I… won't hate you…"

Raven looked up into Richard's blue eyes. Maybe it was the time to tell him the truth… maybe it would be better when she actually told him how she felt… maybe it wouldn't hurt that much. It couldn't get worse, could it?

Raven made up her mind and opened her mouth to speak. "Richard, I think… no, I know that I l-" She stopped in her confession as a knock could be heard from the door.

"Dick," Kori ´s voice haled through the door. "Are you in there? I just wanted to talk to you."

Richard looked at the door where behind it his girlfriend waited and back at Raven who smiled at him sadly.

"Rae, I-"

"It's ok, Dick. Go ahead, Kori is waiting…" She said and her voice sounded strangely strangled – even in her own eyes.

Richard flinched inwardly as she called him Dick. Raven never called him Dick… only when she was mad or tried to be distant.

"Raven-"

"Dick!" Kori called out again.

"Go!" Raven urged him again and stood up from the bed followed by Richard. She opened the door and revealed waiting Kori.

"I didn't disturb anything, did I?" Kori asked confused.

"No, you didn't!" Raven assured her with a smile and pushed Richard towards Kori. "You two have probably much to talk about… so, go!"

"I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?" Richard said before she could close the door.

"Yeah," She waved him off and closed the door.

Raven heard them walk away from her room and leaned her head against the cool door. "I love you." She whispered and fell against the door and slid down until she was crouched with her knees to her chest and the tears came crashing hard and fast.

"I love you."

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A/N: Ok, that was the chapter… how do you like it? I decided to not say anything to the chapter, because usually my insecurities are speaking for me.

So, tell me – in all honesty – what you think about this chapter. I am grateful for every review and advice… even when you think the chapter sucked… ok?

The next chapter can take a while, because I want to update "And down came the rain" and "Live and don´t think about tomorrow", so that´s why...

I wanted to thank you everyone who had reviewd for this story, unfortunately I can´t answer to your reviews this time, because I´m updating this story in my statistic class… instead of doing some graphics about… I honestly don´t know about what, but yeah…

Anyway, thanks to all my readers and reviewers… you all rock my world and I promise to make up for it next chapter.

Also, I wanted to apologize to everybody who had mailed me (especially to Aurora Mikayla and haven´t received an answer. You will all get a mail from me today or tomorrow, I promise…

I also have a major reviewing to do… there are so many wonderful authors/authoresseswho have wonderful stories and I haven´t reviewed their stories… and I´m more than sorry and sad that I haven´t reviewed, but I will… so, expect many reviews from me!

So, I think that was is from me… for now

Until next time…

Alena

PS: Please try to ignore the horrible spelling and grammar in the author´s notes… the spell-check seemes to hate me and decided to strike!