I could barely sleep that night. All night long I just kept tossing and turning, listening to Marlene snore, and watching the full moon rise higher and higher through the window until I couldn't see it any longer. My mind was in a total state of shock. I mean…It's just…How could she…

THREE MONTHS?

That was twelve weeks. That was eighty four days. That was…a lot of hours and god knows how many minutes. Don't even get me started on the seconds.

Was she absolutely insane? Had she been smoking some tartan patterned bong? She could NOT do this to me. I would lose everything. My reputation. My spare time. My sanity. I had been trying to be a good Prefect and reinforce the rules and what had she rewarded me with? Three months of Potter.

I'm sorry, but no-one deserves that. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Hang on, Potter is my worst enemy, and I doubt he'd say no to three months of himself…

Did that even make sense?

0o0

"Come on, Lily. You have to eat something."

"Marlene, you don't understand. Last night was the worst night of my life. How can I be expected to just eat breakfast like nothing ever happened?"

Marlene blinked at me. "Easily. You pick up your toast, you take a bite, you start chewing…"

"Ok, you can shut up now."

She sighed and carried on tucking into her sausages. God, they looked tasty. All hot and sizzling. I felt my mouth start to water, but I hastily looked away. No! I had dramatically lost my appetite thanks to McGonagall and Potter, and I would not give in now. Hopefully, McGonagall would notice I wasn't eating and feel really guilty.

Hopefully.

"Here comes the post," announced a sixth year from across the table.

"What are you, some kind of narrator?" I snapped at him. He raised an eyebrow and flung back his head to watch the huge cloud of owls now circling around the Hall, and I grudgingly did the same. A huge long-eared owl broke away from the mass and swooped down to Marlene, dropping a letter on her plate and soaring away again. She picked it up excitedly.

"I think it's from my parents! I haven't heard from them in ages!"

My mouth was too dry to reply to her. My eye was suddenly drawn to a chocolate brown owl gliding down to Potter, who was sat at the other end of the table. As I watched, Potter took the letter it offered him, then it spread its wings and started flying again, straight towards me.

Marlene was busy reading her letter by the time the owl got to me, so it was without a friendly face peering over my shoulder when I slit open the wax seal and drew out the parchment.

Lily Evans,

Your detentions will be taking place once a week, on the Friday, for the next three months. You will be partnered by James Potter. Each detention will be supervised by a different Professor every week. The teachers good enough to take you for your detentions, in the correct order, will be:

Professor McGonagall

Professor Trelawney

Professor Flitwick

Professor Sprout

Professor Slughorn

Professor Kettleburn

All of these Professors will take you after school, in their office, at 6 pm sharp every Friday night.

When you have completed your sixth detention with Professor Kettleburn, the list of teachers taking you will start again.

Professor M. McGongall

I glared at that tight, frosty signature, then scrunched the letter up into a ball and dumped it in a bowl of porridge.

"That's what I think of you and your detentions!" I shouted at the rapidly sinking parchment. Then I remembered the list of teachers was on it, and had to fish it out again, wrinkling up my nose in disgust.

"So, was yours good news?" asked Marlene dreamily, folding up her own nice, friendly letter with no porridge on it. I looked at her, then looked back at my own soggy, horrible mail.

"It was the details of my detention, actually." I told Marlene all about what happened to me last night, by the way. Or at least, my version of what happened.

"Oh, I see. So how bad is it?"

"I have to spend every Friday evening with Potter for three months."

There was silence for a moment. Then Marlene patted me on the shoulder, obviously lost for words.

"What's the day today?" I asked her. God, Merlin, anyone up there listening to me, please don't let it be Friday…

"It's, uh, Thursday."

Oh, ha ha ha. Good one, guys. I said I didn't want Friday, so you gave me the next worst thing: Thursday. Actually, Thursday is even worse because I have to spend the whole day dreading tomorrow…so I hope you're all wetting yourselves up there.

My appetite had suddenly returned, and I was desperate for food. Who cared about being dramatically unable to eat? With three months of Potter I would either go slowly insane or die by some stupid prank of his, so this may well be the last breakfast I ever eat. However, just as I made a sudden lunge for a sausage, the plates sparkled and all the food disappeared. Seconds later, I heard the bell ring.

Thanks a bunch, Merlin, I thought bitterly as we all rose up and started mooching towards the doors. Potter and his posse (actually, that sounds quite catchy, don't you think?) were all looking…well, not sad exactly, but less bouncy than usual. Join the club.

"Hey, Mar?" I mumbled, watching hungrily as Black tried to poke Thingy in the eye with a bit of bacon, "What do we have first lesson?"

"Charms."

"Oh, good! Something that's gone right…" And then I remembered that we sit in front of Potter and Black for Charms. I stopped, and flung out an arm to bring Marlene to a halt as well. "Just one second."

And with that, I walked over to the nearest wall and banged my head on it. Hard.

"Feel better?" asked Marlene when I got back to her, more than a little cross eyed.

"No, actually. My head hurts."

She only rolled her eyes at that, which I thought was very unsympathetic of her.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Yes…it is short. But I am promising you, the next chapter is so long you will be knocked over backwards by the sheer longness of it all. And that is long.

Oh, alright, it won't be seven thousand pages or anything. But it will be a LOT longer than this. So…look forward to that!

Poll question…has anyone out there heard of the song 'Tribute' by Tenacious D? It is a very good if insane song…anyone? Heard of it? (Echo)

Shove it in your review if you have. That's all for now. Peace out!