"Lileeeeee…"

I grunted and mumbled into my pillow. Bed. Warm. Soft. Must not wake up.

"Lileeeeee…"

No! Must…fight…consciousness…

"Oi! Lily! You fell asleep naked and Potter's staring at you right now!"

No…sleeepeeeee…hang on…WHAT?

I opened my eyes and looked wildly down at myself. No, my black nightshirt was still safely covering me. Turning my head up, I met eyes with a grinning Marlene.

And no Potter.

"You cow, Marlene!" I muttered, sitting up and throwing my pillow at her with all my incredible strength.

It flumped sadly on the floor, about a million miles away from where Marlene was standing. She glanced at it, then shook her head in silence.

"Oh, shut up," I said grumpily, rolling out of bed and crawling towards the bathroom. Her eyebrow rose even higher.

"Is walking out of fashion, now?"

"It is in my world," I told her blearily, staring down at the carpet, "Especially when you've just woken up on a Monday morning and you have Transfiguration first – OW!"

My head collided painfully into the wall with a resounding thump. I curled up into a ball, nursing the top of my head. I heard a snigger behind me, and glared through my arms at the quietly cracking up Marlene.

The door swung open suddenly, and someone walked in. I was too busy glaring at Marlene to say anything. However, the next thing I knew I heard Katy's snooty voice say, "And, er, why does Lily appear to be imitating a maggot, on the floor, right in front of my bed?"

I eyeballed the blonde blob, which was all I could see of Katy through my hair. "And, er, why is it anything to do with you?" I asked her, imitating her voice perfectly. The effect was sort of ruined as I had my face pressed into the carpet, but the imitation was still pretty damn good.

I could almost smell her raised eyebrows. "I do actually need to get to my bed, Lily, so if you don't mind, could you get out of the way?"

I sat up at that, and glared at her through my scarlet tangles now flopping into my eyes, and then looked around. Her bed was about five feet away from me. I opened my mouth to make some sort of stinging comeback, and then realised I just couldn't be bothered with her that morning. So, climbing to my feet, I shot her one more scathing look and walked into the bathroom without another word.

I bet she thought she had the last word. Well, she hadn't. Yes, alright, maybe she had verbally said the last words, but I was being the bigger woman and walking away. So ha.

What was her problem with me, though? I thought furiously to myself as I switched on the shower and allowed it to rinse through my hair. She had never really been overly horrible to me before. Ever since I told her about how I kneed Potter…

I couldn't be bothered to think about it. Not all people could like you, anyway.

So why did I have a little knot of worry now settling into my stomach?

0o0

Here we were again. Me and Potter. Side by side, in Transfiguration. Oh, such joy.

I glanced sideways at Potter. He was tilting back his chair on the back two legs, chewing gum and staring at me. When I looked at him he didn't blink or look away. He just carried on staring. And chewing. With his mouth open.

Ew.

"…Miss Evans?"

I jumped and whipped my head around so fast I practically gave myself whiplash. Aragh, aragh, aragh, the pain. Putting up a hand to knead my knuckles into my now burning neck, I looked warily up at McGonagall. "Yes, Miss?"

She drummed her fingernails impatiently on her desk. "I asked you to repeat everything I just told the class."

Oh, bum. Bumnerania. She was still staring expectantly at me. My mind catapulted backwards and I tried to remember exactly what she had been wittering on about seconds before…nope. No good. Thanks a lot, brain.

"I, er, don't remember, Professor."

She raised her eyebrows mockingly. "Oh? You have a very poor memory, Miss Evans, not being able to remember what I was telling you ten seconds ago."

I felt my face burn as a few people giggled, and shuffled around in their seats, all the better to stare at me. What was I supposed to say to that, for heavens sake? Actually, Professor, I wasn't listening to you because you bore me to tears?

I don't think so.

"You were not listening to me, Miss Evans, were you?"

Ok, stop talking to me now. Stop looking at me. Look somewhere else, for Merlins Sake…oh brilliant. The Great Fire of London was nothing compared to how my face was at that moment in time. And by that, I mean it was red.

I mutely shook my head. McGonagall nodded triumphantly as though my agreeing with her had just scored her ten points.

From next to me, I heard Potter mutter, "Ha ha ha…" under his breath. Then suddenly he added loudly, "Ah, look, she's gone red!"

A sea of faces turned towards me, ogling my bright crimson cheeks ("Wow! I bet I could cook my breakfast on that!" I could practically hear them thinking) McGonagall cleared her throat loudly, and everyone turned away again, leaving me a glowing, blushing wreck.

Thankfully, she carried on with her lesson without torturing me any longer, and I felt my shoulders sink with relief. Potter let his chair drop onto all four of its legs, and his stomach hit the desk with a thump, making the whole table shake vigorously. I scowled at the back of his head, as he had turned his back on me to mouth something at Black, who was two tables away. Why did he have to have such messy hair, I considered irritably. It was like he had never even seen a comb, let alone used one.

Finally, finally McGonagall set us some work and stopped lecturing us in favour of sitting down behind her desk and glaring beadily around at all of us. I sighed, loaded my quill with ink and set about answering the questions she had chalked up on the board. God, the boringness was killing me already, and we had only been in there ten minutes.

Potter nudged me suddenly, and the nib of my quill jogged, sending a nice inky blotch into the middle of my parchment.

"You wanker!" I whispered, staring at the inky puddle rapidly sinking through my work. I quickly picked up my wand and vanished it. It disappeared, but a faint blue stain still remained on my parchment. Dammit, I always was crap at vanishing spells.

I refilled the quill and started to write again, but another sharp elbow in my arm made me jog yet another word. Thoroughly pissed off, I looked up and saw Potter smirking at me.

"Do you mind?" I snarled at him. His grin grew wider.

"No," he replied simply, and jogged my arm again.

That was it. There was no way I was going to start writing again after that. Laying down my quill, I turned myself fully around so I faced him, and looked him right in the eye. He stared straight back, hardly able to keep the huge grin off his face.

My eyes suddenly fell to his nose. I blinked. I stared. His nostrils were flaring in and out with every breath he took…it was twitching! I snorted with laughter. "Your nose is twitching," I whispered behind my hand so McGonagall couldn't see me, "You look almost exactly like a rabbit."

He looked startled, and a hand flew to his nose before he could stop it. "You're lying!"

"No, I'm not…" His nostrils had stopped now, though. I'd have to look out for it in the future.

Thankfully, my comment seemed to have unnerved him enough to stop him from speaking to me for the rest of the lesson. A couple of times I thought I saw him worriedly feel his nose, and it was all I could do to stop myself from bursting out laughing. Ah, bless. I had got him all paranoid. I almost felt guilty…not.

Three hours later, I was seated in the Great Hall, watching as Marlene doled out chicken pie onto my plate, trying to stop myself wrinkling up my nose. Not that I hate chicken pie, or anything. Hell no, I love chicken pie. The actual reason was that I was trying very hard not to look at Potter snogging the living daylights out of some random girl, three seats away from me.

I'm not normally a squeamish person. Someone could shove, say, a bleeding arm at me and I wouldn't flinch. But the sight of Potter almost smothering a blond girl with his lips, right in front of me, when I was about to eat…urugh.

"There," said Marlene, pushing my plate towards me, "Eat."

"Thanks," I muttered, picking up my fork. My eyes strayed over to Potter and his snogee again. They were now making noises. And grinding against the table.

I put my fork back down.

"What's wrong?" asked Marlene, who was already tucking into her food like there was no tomorrow, "You're not eating."

"How am I supposed to eat with them practically making babies right in front of us?" I hissed back at her, staring pointedly over at Potter and the blond girl. I swear their kissing went up in intensity as I said that. As though they heard me.

"Just ignore them," Marlene said simply, helping herself to some roast potatoes. "Don't let them put you off your food, Lily. That means he's affecting you."

I stared at her. Potter's snogee made a weird kind of moaning sound, and I couldn't help but look at them again. Moaning? As if it wasn't really obvious she was kissing someone, she had to moan just to draw more attention to herself?

She did it again. Louder.

"Stop staring and start eating!" That was Marlene. And yeah, it was good advice, so I tore my eyes away and started cutting up my pie.

Until the table started shaking, that was. I glanced up, unable to believe it. They were now half leaning on the table, the girl's long hair almost dipping in the gravy boat. People around them were casting them odd looks and edging away. Suddenly, I found I couldn't take it any longer.

"Oi!" I shouted at them, "Can you two PLEASE get a bloody room? Some of us are trying to eat!"

With a horrible slurping, sucking noise, they both surfaced and looked around at me, and for the first time I got a proper look at the girls face.

My jaw dropped. "Katy?"

Her lower lip was bright red, but she sat there, her arm proudly around Potter, looking smugly at me. She tossed her hair. "Oh, hi, Lily."

Potter was looking weirdly triumphant as well. "What's wrong, Evans?" he asked me, "Jealous?"

I couldn't even begin to answer him. I glared at Katy instead. "Anything but jealous!" I snarled, "All I want is to eat my bloody lunch and all I can see is you trying to eat his head!"

She flipped her hair at that, looking smug. "We'll get out of your way then, shall we, James?"

"Yeah," he replied, taking her hand and standing up, "See you in detention, Evans."

I glared at both of them as they walked off. As I watched, Potter whispered something in Katy's ear, and she went into fits of high pitched giggles, glancing around at me. I stabbed moodily at my pie. Everyone was staring at me.

"So…" said Marlene eventually, breaking the silence, "Are you going to eat now?"

"Shockingly enough," I replied dryly, "I've lost my appetite."

I found it again five minutes later, once I had recovered from the shock, and pretty soon I was tucking into my chicken pie like I should have been.

Well. I wasn't going to let them put me off my food. Just as long as they kissed where I couldn't see them.

0o0o0o0o0o0

I'M BACK! Did you all miss me? I bet you did. I bet you woke up every morning wondering if I had updated yet, cried when you saw I hadn't, went into chronic depression...nah, I'm only joking. Had you all going there, eh? Eh? (Sleezy nudge)

Right, well,some of you have all been slacking on the review front. I'm getting one-liners that tell me, yes, my story is funny (which is good) yes, you want me to update (which I will) and no, you don't have anything else to say on the matter. Come on, people, use your imaginations! I'm sure you can think of something else to say about my story! Telling me WHAT you actually liked about it would make me a very happy bunny indeed. (Cheesy grin.) Or you could pick a quote you liked from the chapter. Or tell me about rubber chickens and gravy, I don't know...

I still love you all though. As I have said before, velly velly mucho. Oh, and for another random poll, who can tell me which once-very-popular song is this lyric from?

"Load up on guns, bring a friend, it's fun to lose and to pretend." Stick your answer in your review if you know!

Peace out xxx