Hey there, Journal.

So the whole note-passing thing is going swimmingly- at least I THINK it is. Honestly, I feel like I write Arnold a ton more than he writes me, but at least he's writing a couple times a day which I guess means SOMETHING.

The only problem though is that Arnold doesn't seem to want to talk about anything... deep. It's like he doesn't wanna dig up feelings and discuss them which seems weird at best and makes me incredibly paranoid at worst.

Why paranoid, you ask? Well, I'll tell you why and I'll even tell you free of charge.

Lila. Lila STINKIN' Sawyer is why.

"But what does Lila have to do with anything," you may ask. "She's just a person and it isn't like you have any PROOF that she's actively trying to destroy your life and all that's important to you."

You know what I say to that? FALSE. She absolutely IS trying to destroy my life and all that I hold dear.

"Helga," you may then proceed, "You've clearly lost your mind. Not to mention you're having a hypothetical conversation with an inanimate object AKA your journal."

To which I'D reply with, "Yes. Yes indeed. On both accounts, in fact."

I know though, I KNOW I'm probably being ridiculous. After all, you'd think that I should take Stella's advice that she gave me a couple days ago about just 'living my life' and 'riding the wave of emotions' and 'not getting hung up on labels and relationships that might dissipate into the very facets of my memory.' You know what, though? I don't CARE because I'm a teenager (almost) and I'm reckless and impulsive and honestly I'd probably screw this up REGARDLESS so why not try to save it?

And who knows? Maybe Arnold will be glad that I made an effort to save it. HE certainly doesn't seem to want to save it. Not that it's in danger... Wait, IS it in danger?

I know Stella's advice and all that was supposed to give me some kind of peace of mind but frankly it hasn't done much but keep me up at night. Like, sure- life gets harder once you're an adult, not to mention vastly more complicated, but I genuinely think Arnold and I can beat the odds. Who's to say that we CAN'T make it through middle school and high school and college and my eventual presidency followed by my bound-to-be best-selling autobiography and various award-winning novels/poetry anthologies? I mean, C'MON... Arnold would make a GREAT first man.

But LILA... I suppose I should get back to explaining my fixation on Lila and her ultimate actions towards thwarting that awesome future I mentioned up there.

Okay FINE, I'll admit, Lila hasn't ACTUALLY done anything- YET. I suspect she's playing the long game and working her way towards moving in on poor, unsuspecting Arnold. But I can see it and I'm READY for it. So if she thinks she's fooling me, she has another thing coming.

Let's start with the past, shall we? For instance, I know that way back in the day (like FOURTH GRADE, back in the day) Arnold had feelings for Lila but before HE had feelings for her, SHE had feelings for HIM. Now, granted, it was pretty complicated at the time and largely my own fault because PER USUAL I was being all kinds of dramatic in an empty alley and wrote our names together in a big heart on a brick wall in chalk. Naturally, when I heard Rhonda and her disciples coming towards me, I changed my name to Lila's and once they saw it- badda boom badda bing –rumors started and the idiocy that surrounded Lila and Arnold's 'relationship' (if you could even call it that) commenced.

However, I digress.

Now, you might say, "But Lila stopped feeling that way about Arnold and he eventually upgraded from that red-headed overly-optimistic terror to you. So why on Earth would you think she has feelings for him yet again?"

My response to that would be, "I'm GETTING there for cripes sake so could you shut up and let me write out my motives already?!"

A LIST OF MOTIVES FOR LILA TO HAVE IN OBLITERATING MY HAPPINESS:

1.) Arnold likes me now which makes the neurons in her brain act all crazy and tell her that SHE now likes him because I have him and she doesn't.

2.) She wants to prove she can get him for some reason I may not know but I'm sure the thought process is there

3.) She wants to prevent Arnold from true bliss with me because she thinks we aren't good together (this point isn't the best but I'm writing it down just in case)

4.) She's getting back at me for that time in the beginning of fifth grade when I indiscreetly mentioned to people that she was living in the sewer for 'research purposes' after I heard her dad got a job through the sewage company. Everyone called her the 'Poo Poo Princess' for the rest of the school year, that is until we had our extravaganza in San Lorenzo and everyone FORGOT. (Maybe I should bring that nickname back in retaliation?)

5.)

NOTE: I left the fifth spot empty (plus a few extra lines) because I'm sure I'll think of some more reasons later and will want to add them to the list for documentation's sake.

Point is, I think Lila is working her way back to Arnold and while I have no proof as of now, it's only a matter of time. I'm fairly certain it won't be that long before she slips up and I catch her doing more than just giving Arnold that girlish bat of her eyes followed by some typical Lila-ism she's practically trademarked. After all, this is LILA we're talking about here- she may be naive as can be but she isn't all that bright.

Catching her putting the moves on Arnold should be a Piece. Of. Cake.

Hot on the case,

Helga G. Pataki

Okay, so I MIGHT have been just a TITCH too confident in my last entry.

No matter, I'll still catch Lila in the act, just you wait and see. If it's ONE thing Helga G. Pataki is it's determined and I NEVER give up- especially when it's important.

In other not-Lila-related news...

They made this big, grandiose announcement about the first school dance of the year today during lunch hour.

Just picture it: there we were, minding our own business. Gerald, Phoebe, Arnold and I sat at our usual lunch table and watched as the teachers who had the unfortunate luck of having to help dismiss us for lunch that day, doddled in the corner of the cafeteria. Of course Gerald was focused on the food aspect of lunch as usual, and began wondering aloud when they were going to release us table by table.

While he may have been anticipating lunch, I could have cared less about when we would get whatever previously-frozen goodies that were on the menu for the day. No, I was focused on Lila who was sitting with her other goody-two-shoes friends at a nearby table. I watched with narrowed eyes while in deep concentration as they laughed about God-only-knows-what and I tried to silently answer the question I'd been asking myself for nearly a week now: What exactly was she up to?

"All I'm saying is they had BETTER start letting us to get food soon or I will personally start a riot," Gerald complained and Phoebe smiled in his direction full of sympathy.

"Try not to worry, Gerald," she told him with a glimmer in her eye, "hypothetically, you could survive around three entire weeks without the intake of food. Water on the other hand is much more pertinent to our survival as living organisms."

I blinked a few times before glancing over to Phoebe with a bored expression. "Okay, so how long CAN you survive without water, huh?"

"Approximately three days actually," Phoebe answered me almost immediately. "Although that timeline can vary depending on a few factors such as previous water intake, environmental factors and other such elements."

Taking a breath, I let it out dramatically before speaking again without much interest to what I was responding to. "Fascinating, Pheebs."

"In fact," she blindly continued despite everyone's clear disinterest in what she was talking about, "I know a few fun facts from when I did my presentation on Freshwater vs. Saltwater. Would you all care to hear a few?"

For one of the first times in our 'friendship' (though I'd call it more along the lines of a friend-in-law relationship), Gerald and I shared a look that proved we were thinking along the same lines. However, whereas I would have simply told Phoebe I wasn't particularly interested in her H2O tidbits, Gerald did some kind of minimal wiggle with his head before laughing awkwardly and answering in a stuttered frenzy.

"Uh, y-yeah. Sure. What are uh, some uh, facts about that? The water?"

In mild irritation, I dropped my head down to rest in the space between my arms as if to shield myself from the light while playing 'Heads Up 7up.'

"Well, for instance, did you know that there is the exact same amount of water on the Earth as how much there was when our planet was first formed?" She looked around in question and excitement though the three of us listening didn't offer much in the way of a reaction.

Thankfully, my boredom at Phoebe's random fun-fact didn't last long. Almost immediately after finishing her sentence, Phoebe was cut off from continuing by the sound of the high-pitch squeal of a whistle followed by a group of 6 girls and 1 guy practically skipping into the cafeteria (and yes, the one guy was Eugene Horowitz- kid'll do basically anything for the chance to put on a show).

I watched as they flitted to the middle of the cafeteria while giggling the entire way there. Once in the center of the large room, one of the teachers who had been chosen somehow to monitor us 7th graders during our lunch period walked to the group and handed a wireless microphone to the more... well-dressed of the bunch. Immediately, I knew who would begin talking and while it was a somewhat surprise to seemingly everyone else in the grade, it wasn't to me.

If it was anyone else who was as cut-throat as me, it was Rhonda- Rhonda Wellington-Lloyd, that is. And 7th grade or not, lowest in the school hierarchy be damned, she wasn't about to let our first school dance be a complete bust. Nah, under the watchful eye of our own personal and self-nominated Princess, we would be sure to have a dance we wouldn't soon forget (and not just because she would no doubt continue to bring it up until the end of time).

"Salutations 7th grade class of Hanson Middle School!" Rhonda announced followed by an enthusiastic cheer; a few of the miscellaneous cheerleaders behind her throwing a kick or two up in the air for good measure. Those of us sitting in the cafeteria offered up a weak applause while watching the group of students awkwardly and with mild confusion.

"So we are here," she gestured to the rest of the team standing behind and around her, "to cordially invite you to the very first school dance of the year which will be held on the first Saturday of next month!" Her and her cheerleading cohorts let out another hoot and holler in excitement while those of us watching whatever was happening in front of us chattered among ourselves- some more excited than others.

I'll be blunt with you, the boys did NOT look very enthused. I'm sure they knew that the majority of us girls would be expecting some kind of big, grand and dramatic show of affection to ask us to go to the dance with them. Me on the other hand? I could care less about some lame attempt at romance just to ask me a freakin' question.

But... even though I could care less about such a proposal... I couldn't shake the desire to have one anyway. Knowing Arnold though, who is a complete SAP by the way, there's no doubt in my mind I'll get a big and super romantic proposal to go to the dance with him which will make everyone- even Miss Wellington-Lloyd –-green with envy.

PLUS it probably won't hurt in the Lila department either. Once she sees just how crazy Arnold is about me, maybe she'll give up on whatever idiotic plan she has cooked up in that stupid head of hers.

"Now, I'm sure you're all wondering-" we weren't by the way, just wanted to add that in there real quick, "-what is the theme? Well fear not, fellow classmates because I have what I believe to be the most perfect theme of them all!"

"Our theme, if you will, is..." We watched her silently as she paused briefly for dramatic affect. Glancing around the room with a sly smile plastered on her face, she pushed the mic up real close to her lips before speaking in a hushed tone. "Caribbean Sunset!"

I think she expected everybody to be super stoked for the theme she'd picked out, but by the look on everyone's faces, they were anything but. In an effort to raise the excitement level, Rhonda began spewing out her decoration plans and other such nonsense we STILL could care less about.

"Just picture it, okay?" she demanded before centering herself once more to try and paint a picture of her dream set-up. "Palm trees covered in glittering lights... A backdrop of a STUNNING sunset for you to take tons of selfies with and tag with the hashtag 'CaribbeanSunsetMSDance'... not to mention REAL SAND I am personally having my father import from the beaches of Pink Sands Beach located in the one and only Bahamas."

"I thought we nixed that idea because of health code standards-" one of the group around her spoke up; the words just loud enough to be picked up and amplified by the microphone Rhonda held tightly in her grip.

Holding a lone hand up to silence her fellow cheerleader, she continued to look around at the blank faces filling the cafeteria. In a matter of milliseconds, she went from enthusiastic to complete and utter frustration. It didn't take long for her to begin the flawless Wellington-Lloyd art of one of her most popular routines which I'd fondly named, 'Le Tantrum.' French accent included since you can't hear me say it when I just write it down. All of it was for OUR entertainment too (much to her chagrin). It was a real lunch-and-a-show, she could have sold tickets I bet. She truly was the princess of the people.

"Seriously?" Her tone had flipped entirely to one of disbelief and irritation. "I give you examples of the best dance you may ever attend and... NOTHING? Does nobody have VISION?"

There it was... one of her most popular comments as of late. I fought back the urge to applaud at her stunning display that was filled with callbacks to previous tantrums we'd all but forgotten. Instead, I continued to watch with a growing smile as Rhonda approached the dramatic finale of her show.

"Fine. Whatever. I don't need to go out of my way for YOU people." She snapped her head to look at another member of the cheer squad and angrily told them: "go ahead and do YOUR lame theme. I QUIT!" And with that, she shoved the microphone into their chest which they immediately grabbed so it wouldn't fall on the linoleum beneath them. Adding a final huff followed by a pivot of her body to face the exit of the cafeteria, she stormed out to leave the group of 6 looking at each other completely stunned and unsure as of what to do next.

I reached up to begin clapping for such a riveting performance only to be stopped before my hands could even make contact by the one and only Arnold Shortman himself. I had to hand it to him, the kid knew me pretty well, maybe even a little TOO well seeing as he didn't even have to look at me to know what I was about to do.

Gripping my wrist, he slowly pulled the arm closest to him down to rest on the table. He then casually laced his fingers with mine in order to prevent me from further attempts at applauding Rhonda's public meltdown.

Whispers echoed in the cafeteria before Eugene snatched the mic from the person holding it and began to try and rev up his audience- like I said, the kid would do ANYTHING for a chance to perform.

"So we aren't going with a theme this year," he started with a shaky tone before clearing his throat and starting again but this time with more pep than a trained monkey. "Instead, we will just have tons and tons of stations jam-packed with super fun activities for you guys to do all night!"

This perked up the group of students watching from their seats and even initiated a few of them to let out a 'woop!' or a few scattered claps. Encouraged by the sudden spark of enthusiasm, Eugene continued to give away some of the things that would be at this big dance.

"Besides having a great DJ, we're also going to put in the projector so we can show music videos on the wall in sync with the music playing!" The cheering increased slightly and the chatter of students picked up once more as Eugene kept on with his riling of the crowd.

"And-and...and next door to the main gym where the dance will be going on, we're going to have a bouncy castle AND inflatable Sumo-suit wrestling that you can sign up for!" Scattered clapping turned into a small applause leading Eugene on.

"Not to mention," he was growing confident now, "in the foyer we're going to have karaoke with thousands of song choices!" Clapping had erupted into a full-blown applause complete with hooping and hollering from everyone- not just Eugene's fellow cheerleaders.

At this point, out of the corner of my eye, a figure moved to stand and then climb up on top of the table he'd been sitting at. "Pluuuuuuus," they shouted over the applause that was beginning to fade at their sudden involvement of announcements, "you're all responsible to bring your ANIMAL OF CHOICE from the local zoo! YEAH!"

Silence filled the cafeteria as Eugene looked blankly at Curly whose arms were waving wildly in the air. Slowly, Eugene brought the microphone back up to his lips and said in a complete deadpan, "Yeah, Curly? We're uh, we're not going to do that."

One of the teachers who was sent here to make sure lunch hour went smoothly rushed over to Curly's table and whispered at him in a firm voice to get down from the table immediately, which he did.

"Anyway..." Eugene continued before hyping himself back up to deliver his final announcement as though Curly hadn't previously interrupted him, "Finally, in the cafeteria, you can get some snacks and even purchase more tickets if you want so you can do more Sumo-suit wrestling or any of the other fun things around the school! Don't worry though, you'll each get 3 tickets at the door so you can try any and all of these things if you don't wish to or can't buy more tickets."

The applause picked up once more as everyone was invested yet again in the words coming out of Eugene's mouth. A sudden exhilaration was thick in the air that surrounded us and I imagined Rhonda sitting just outside of the cafeteria on the big carpeted steps pouting at the attention she felt she deserved over Eugene or anyone else. It made me smile.

"Entry to the dance PLUS the 3 tickets will be on sale right here in the cafeteria starting next week for only 10 dollars a piece so get them while they're hot! And, of course," Eugene finalized, "all of the proceeds from the dance and additional ticket sales will go right back into our school-dance-fund for future school dances!"

Our Vice Principal (who was usually in charge of supervising the teachers and students of this particular lunch hour) walked over to Eugene who handed him the microphone with a smile. "Thank you Eugene and our amazing 7th grade Cheer Squad! Let's give them a hand for orchestrating the first dance of the year!"

Clapping ensued once more before the VP motioned for everyone to be quiet and began talking once again. "Now, as you all know, we have 3 school dances a year and each one is put on by a different group from each class. Our first dance will be sponsored by you- our 7th grade class. Our winter wonderland dance will be sponsored by the 8th grade class and our springtime mystery dance will be sponsored by the 9th grade class."

Eugene leaned over to add something into the mic. "But if you want to help us decorate for the dance or sell tickets or something, just ask! We'd love your help!"

"Yes, very true Mr. Horowitz," our VP acknowledged him and he beamed with pride at his words.

Aside from all of this new information and Rhonda's 'Le Tantrum,' the remainder of lunch was rather unexciting and pretty predictable. Gerald shoveled food into his face-hole while Phoebe picked delicately at whatever fancy cuisine her parents had made and packed for her. Arnold and I did what we usually do which consisted of eating and casually talking about our plans for the upcoming week, though I couldn't seem to peel my eyes away from Lila. Every once in a while since the announcement about the dance was made, I caught her making eyes at Arnold but with that stupid innocent and slightly concerned act she tends to pull masked in her expression.

I stared at that expression for all of lunch and ruminated on it for the rest of the four hours of the school day. I watched her every move through the hallway to her classes and payed EXTRA special attention to her in the classes we shared together. Yet through it all, it wasn't until I made it home and wrote all this out that I put the pieces of the puzzle together and formed what I believe to be Lila's master plan:

Lila Sawyer wants to ask Arnold to the school dance.

That's the only thing that makes sense, am I right? I mean, she didn't start looking at him like that until AFTER the announcement about the dance. It was like something clicked in her brain and she suddenly had to keep her sights set on Arnold to observe him in order to find a time to make her move.

No, Helga... don't be silly and let your mind run wild. Even LILA isn't stupid enough to embark on a bound-to-fail mission like that.

...would she?

I mean, IS she planning to ask Arnold? The same Arnold who I've fought tooth and nail for since toddlerhood? Even Lila knows I've been in love with boy since at least the 4th grade since she practically MADE me spill my guts to her just to get the stupid role of Juliet from her. So, may I ask, WHY on EARTH would she do something like that? Criminy, I'll destroy her if she thinks she's going to pull something like that. She thought that 'The Poo Poo Princess' was bad? HA. That will be CHILD'S PLAY compared to what I'll do to her and her precious, squeaky-clean reputation.

Relax, Helga. Just relax and remember what it is that Stella told you. And there's that whole saying about how if you love something you let it go and if it comes back to you then it was really yours in the first place or some junk like that. I don't know, I really want to believe that and trust that Arnold really loves me and will choose me no matter what but it's just HARD.

Okay, I'll let it go for now, Journal. But I SWEAR if I find out Lila is doing some kind of funny business behind my back and that even ARNOLD is involved in it somehow... all bets are off.

That's all I can guarantee at this point in time, at least. I'll be nice, I'll be cordial, heck- I'll be downright FRIENDLY but I will NOT let her slide in and take Arnold's affections from me; not again and not on my watch.

After all, I'm Helga- Helga G. Pataki and NOBODY messes with THIS Pataki and gets away with it.

Keeping a watchful eye,

Helga G. Pataki

Not going to lie, this school dance and all the things happening at it are LEGIT identical to one of my 9th grade dances i attended and a lot of what will happen there is going to be based on my memories of what happened to one of my friends at that particular dance haha. So stay tuned! I promise it will be full of crazy shenanigans and will be just excellent!

I also want to send a shoutout to those of you reading this fic again after it's been on hiatus for so long. You guys are the real MVPs and I am SO THANKFUL for your reviews and constant encouragement. You will never know how much it inspires me to keep writing and working on this story!

With that in mind, please be sure to drop me a review not to mention favorite and follow this story so you never miss an update!

xoxo

Polkahotness