A/N: I can't believe that I finally managed to bring out the next chapter… after a month… yay…
Anyway, I hope you will like this chapter… it's not the best, but yeah…
Thanks and kudos and many kisses and much love to my awesome, wonderful, fantastic, wonderful and talented beta and friend Cherry Jade for beta-ing this chapter…
Dedicated to everyone who had reviewed for the last chapter and who supported and read this story for such a long time…
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Chapter Twelve:
Breakdowns and Choices
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Raven hated to cry… it just didn't suite her.
Tears didn't suite her… love didn't suite her…
She shook her head in disgust of herself. She was pathetic… truly pathetic. Since when did she cry because of a guy…?
'Since you feel in love with Richard!' Her mind pointed out and again Raven shook her head brushing away the remaining tears with the back of her hand.
She wouldn't cry anymore… not because of Richard. She should concentrate on other things. Her father needed her support and her mother… her friends… and Roy… there was Roy.
Roy wouldn't leave her… he would be there for her.
Raven managed a small smile at the thought of the handsome young man… and although she knew that it would take a while, Raven was sure that Roy wouldn't leave her.
Feeling a bit better, Raven opened the door to her apartment… only to be greeted with Roy who was sitting on the couch in the living-room with a suitcase next to the couch.
"Hey…" Raven greeted slowly.
"Hey!" Roy said back.
"What's that?" The dark-haired woman gestured at the suitcase with her violet eyes.
Roy blinked standing up from the couch and slowly approaching her until he was only inches away from.
"I… it would be better if I should stay the rest of the days I'm here in Jump City with my mother and Lian… they… Lian misses me and I miss her… and… its better that way, you know…" He trailed off as he saw her hurt expression.
He knew that he would her hurt with this action, but it was only for the best. He couldn't stay here any longer…
Raven's eyes met his blue ones and for the first time she saw that his right eye was swollen… it was then she began to realize…
"Richard… and you…" Yet again she shook her head, "You're leaving me as well…"
She wasn't really talking to Roy anymore, but rather to herself. Again, tears threatened to fall from her eyes, but this time she fought against them.
But Roy saw her struggle and saw the way she clenched her eyes shut so that the tears wouldn't fall. He could see through her act… and again the young man was surprised how well he knew her… and how much it hurt him to see her this way... to see her so vulnerable
"Raven, don´t cry… I don´t… I don't know what to do, Raven! I just don't know…" He stretched his arm touch her cheek softly, but she backed away from him.
"You said… you want to make me happy… you wanted to wait… you… you don't love me… just like him…" All those words… they blurted out of her mouth. She didn't want to say all those things… not at all…
She just wanted to…
"Rae, that's not true I… he… we lo-" Roy began, but he was cut short by Raven.
"No, you lied just like Richard, but it's okay… it's alright… it's…" Her words were struck in his throat as a sob shook her frail body.
Turning around from the sad young man, Raven began to ran… ran out of the door… out of the apartment… out of the street…
She just ran without looking behind her… she ran and ran and ran and ran…
… until she came to a phone-booth.
For a moment Raven just stared at the phone-booth before stepping inside of it.
Her right hand searched for some coins in the pocket of her jeans and once she found them, Raven began to dial the number.
Only seconds later, she heard an all familiar voice coming from the other side of the line.
"Hello, Roth Resident… Arella Ro-"
"Mum?" Raven interrupted her mother.
"Raven?" Her mother asked back, "How are you?"
"Yeah… I'm fine mum… how are you and how is dad? He is alright, isn't he?"
"That's good to hear, darling. He's fine – nothing to worry about," Arella answered her daughter in a conversational voice. "We are both fine and everything is alright here. But tell me, how are you? And how are Richard… and Roy…?"
That did it to her… that was the last straw. She just couldn't hold back anymore.
"Mum… he… they don't love me… " Her body shook from her sobs and she trembled.
"Shhh, darling, don't cry… who doesn't love you? The concerned voice of her mother tried to sooth her.
"Nobody loves me… nobody…" The dark-haired woman choked out sadly.
Richard Grayson feared nothing… at least he liked to believe that and up until today there was nothing…
But Richard realized that there was indeed something that he feared… feared more than anything else:
The thought of losing Raven…
It had never occurred to him that there would be a time without Raven. It had been always logic to him that she would there… for him – with him forever. He knew that it was a childish thought, because Richard Grayson knew that there wasn't a forever and promises of forever were meant to be broken.
He had learned that with the age eight… the day Richard had lost his parents he had realized the fragility of promises… and yet he had carelessly made promises himself…
Flashback
"Richard?" The twelve year-old Raven called out for her dark-haired and blue-eyed friend on her bed.
"Yeah…" Was his grunted reply. He was too busy with his Game Boy than listening to his friend.
"Do you… do you think we will be friends forever…?" Raven finally managed to bring out.
Richard didn't even look up from his game to answer. "Of course, but only if you stop disturbing me, because if I loose this game I don't think we can be friends anymore." It was meant as a joke, but somehow it had the opposite effect on Raven.
"What if we drift apart? What when you… you don't want to be my friend anymore? What…"
Richard's blue eyes lift up from his game and bore into Raven. Raven wasn't behaving like herself.
The Raven he knew wouldn't ask such question… unless something had happened… unless… "Raven…?"
"… What about when my parents decided to move away… from here…?" Raven finished and bit her lips scornfully, her eyes looking everywhere but at him.
That was when he realized, that was when he finally saw what she meant… and he did the only thing he thought would help her… would help him…
He pulled her to the bed and straight to his chest. His strong arms wound themselves around her much smaller and slender body.
"We'll be always friends… the best of friends and nothing will change that…" Richard whispered into her ear as Raven's arms tightened around his shoulder. "Don't worry, we will find a way… I promise."
Raven drew back from the boy and smiled sadly at him. "Don't promise something you can't keep." She chided him.
"I always keep my promises…" He murmured and pulled her back into his arms…
End of Flashback
She had warned him… Raven had warned him not to make promises he couldn't keep, but he still had promised and Richard couldn't help thinking that he might loose her because of his thoughtless actions… he just hoped that he hadn't already lost her.
So, that's why he was here… in front of Raven's apartment with a bucket of Casablanca Lilies in his hands… to talk to her… to apologize and to finally confess… confess how much he actually loved her.
Of course, that is she still wanted to see him and he could only hope that he hadn't pushed her to away from him.
He needed her… it was plain and simple…
He, Richard John Grayson needed Raven Roth… and that was nothing new for him, but it was new how much he really needed her… how much he wanted her…
His thoughts came to a halt as his deep-blue eyes fell on the bucket of pure, white Casablanca lilies in his hands… two times… two times he had tried to give her favourite flowers to her in the past days and every time it had ended with Raven getting hurt, but this time he would make sure that she wouldn't get hurt… he would make sure of that – even if it meant that he would get hurt…
Taking a deep breath, Richard made his way to the door… only to see that the door was slightly open.
Worried, the raven-haired young man opened the door… coming face to face with the person he wanted to see the least…
Roy Harper…
Richard stared at him unable to say anything and before he could make up his mouth, Roy began to speak.
"You're here for Raven, aren't you?" It was more a statement than a question.
"Y…Yes…" Still not able to say anything coherent…
"She just ran away," Richard's intense blue eyes narrowed at this comment.
"She ran away? Why…? Did you do something to here? Where is she…?" The questions just came out of him before he could stop them and something painfully redistricted his chest… and the young man realized that he hadn't really the right to be angry with the man in front him… because in the last few weeks, he had been the one Raven had been running away from.
His shoulders sagged at the thought and somehow he wasn't so sure anymore if he could really make her happy.
Roy Harper wasn't a fool and he was really good at reading people. So, it wasn't really difficult for him to see through Richard.
From the beginning he had known that Richard loved Raven – even before Richard himself had realized it… he had seen it in the way the other man looked at Raven. There was always something caring… something loving in the man's eyes when he looked at Raven…
But still Roy had hoped… he wasn't sure what he had hoped for, but he had hoped… hoped that he could love her… hoped that she would love him and not Richard.
Somehow, his hopes never came true… he knew that with time maybe Raven would love him, but he also knew that Richard is the one her heart belongs to… as cheesy as it might sound and as much as it hurt.
Actually, it was quite funny, how much it hurt… Roy only knew her for some days, but still he began to fall in love with the stubborn woman… and he just wanted to make her happy – more than anything else.
That was why Roy decided to leave her apartment… because he knew that it was Richard who she wanted and who would be able to make her happy… no matter how he wished it wasn't so.
But he had to make sure of something before he could really leave her…
"You love her, don't you?" Roy asked the dark-haired man in front of him ignoring his earlier questions.
Richard just stared at him in confusion of his odd display, but still he knew that that he should answer him.
"Yes!" It was definite and strong… his answer… there was no doubt there anymore and Roy smiled and looked at him sadly at the same time.
"That's good…" Was the red-haired man's reply.
It was everything Richard needed to understand and he had the urge to say something.
"You know, she really likes you," It was hard to admit that, but Richard knew that it was the truth and there was no denying it as much as he had tried to do it. "She trusts you and it usually take a while before she lets anybody come close to her. She… she likes you!"
And Roy could hear the words 'she might even love you' in his words and he just smiled woefully.
"We have a lot in common, you know…" Richard spoke up again as Roy didn't say anything.
At that Roy let out a small chuckle. 'A lot in common' was an understatement: With their almost identical deep-blue eyes and their muscular build and equally cocky and charming grins, they could be thought as twins… but Roy knew that it wasn't their physical similarities that Richard meant.
"… we both want to see her happy…" Roy concluded Richard's unspoken thought.
"Yes, we both want her to be happy…" The dark-haired man repeated and before Roy could say anything else, Richard spoke again.
"Promise that you won't leave her…"
The eyes of the red-haired man widen in surprise and confusion at Richard's words. He wasn't sure what he should think… it was an odd request, but somehow he knew what the other man meant… they both wanted to see her happy…
Richard clenched his fists at his sides as he continued talking, "Don't just leave her! She… she needs you and… it wouldn't be fair if you just leave her… be there for her… be her friend. I… she… just don't leave her!"
Richard wasn't so sure himself if that what he said made any sense, but he knew that Roy would understand and although it almost broke his heart to as the man who was falling in love with Raven to not leave her, he knew that he had to do it. They both wanted to make her happy… wanted to see her happy and even if Richard hoped with all of his heart that Raven would give him a chance, he wanted to make sure that Raven wouldn't be alone.
She didn't deserve to be lonely… she needed someone by her side and if he couldn't be the person… then Roy could be… should be…
Roy intensely looked at the man in front of him trying to read him… to see through him… to find something dishonest, but he knew that he wouldn't find anything dishonest and it wasn't for him to read Richard.
So, he just nodded at his request and confirmed with a yes.
"Good… that's really… good…" Richard said and felt somehow awkward now.
What should he do now…?
Hug him…? Give him a pat on his shoulder…?
But before he could make up his mind, Roy offered his hand for a shake and Richard took it.
Both shook hands awkwardly… it was weird to shook the hand of the man you fought with only hours ago… but nonetheless the handshake seemed right.
"We're a strange pair, aren't we?" Roy chuckled as they released each other hands.
Richard smirked back, "That, we are!"
"Make her happy, okay? Don't hurt her…" Roy trailed off… it was harder than expected to let her go and he didn't even have her…
"I won't… Not again… Never again…" Dick assured him and both knew that he would be true to his word.
A/N: Okay, that was the chapter…
:ducks from all the rotten fruits and vegetables that is thrown at her:
Yeah, I know the chapter sucked and it was more than horrible, but I had a really bad case of Writer's block while writing this chapter and I somehow can't write good endings for a story… and… yeah… it just sucked… so very much… sorry, sorry… sorry…
I wanted to write a confrontation between Richard and Roy… but somehow, I didn't manage to write it well… it's just terrible, but I changed it so many times and I just couldn't write something better…
:sigh:
The next chapter will be the last chapter… yeah, the story will end soon…
Anyway, review and tell me how you like or not liked or hated this chapter…
So, that was it from me… for now…
Until next chapter…
Take care and be safe…
Alena