Playlist: Some Kind of beautiful by Nikka Costa : Badtimes by Laika : The truth about cats and dogs (is that they die) by Pony Up:: Unsaid by The Fray
Disclaimer: Not mine. Just using for the purpose of procrastination and creativity.
A/N: There's more about the case in the next few chapters. And a bit of a surprise at the end here… Let me know what you think.
Scotty knocked, waited. He'd noticed that the bike was still in the driveway, and the door swung open to reveal the owner, already attired in jeans and a black shirt. He was still buttoning it up and he turned to yell for Lilly as he popped the last button into place.
"She'll be out in a second. I'm Ray. We didn't really get to meet last time I saw you."
"Scotty." There was a firm handshake exchanged before a silence lapsed between them.
"So…" Ray checked over his shoulder before pulling the door further closed behind him. He was taller than Scotty and looked down at him, concern darkening the already deep eyes.
"Just… Can you look out for her today? She's…" Ray shook his head, and Scotty could see him struggling for words, so he started nodding as she pulled the door open, stepped out beside Ray. He knew Lilly wasn't easily explained, and he could tell something had changed between them. She looked the same as ever, but with smudges of tiredness that lay, unbudged under her eyes. Scotty nodded once more to Ray over Lilly's head before retreating down to the car. He slid in, watching as words were exchanged between them. Ray brought an arm up, pushed back some blonde hair that had fallen into her eyes, and she looked into his eyes without smiling. He said something else as his hand trailed down her face and rested on her shoulder. She finally said something to him, looking down to put her gloves on. He dropped his hand as she stepped away, and they shared a long look before she came down to the car.
"Morning." Scotty said. Lilly nodded, her eyes moving across to Ray, looking back at her. Scotty pulled away from the curb and she finally looked back to the front. The silence she'd pulled around herself wasn't stony, but it wasn't as easily penetrated as it usually was. Scotty wondered how long before Ray left; whether that was what was making Lil so quiet.
"So what angle do you want to take on Lydia's boyfriend?" Scotty moved onto the case. He was still mulling over Ray's words. Look out for her today. But he knew better than asking Lil if anything was wrong outright; she'd give him a look like he'd just tried to drown her cat before she shut him down.
"We can see why he didn't come forward in the first place. Your girlfriend gets murdered, you want to know why."
"Unless you're the doer." Scotty followed her thought to the end and she nodded before, once again, the car ride lapsed into silence.
Lill's phone rang in her pocket as she was sitting down to put notes in the case file. The day had been longer, but more rewarding than they'd hoped. The nursing home that the previous grocery store owner was in had called to say he was having a good day. Jeffries and Vera had rushed over with an image of the boyfriend, amongst other mug shot photos. The owner had easily picked him out, which wasn't enough to hold up in court, but it gave Lil enough leverage with the boyfriend to get some more names; guys he'd robbed the store with. Of course, he maintained that he didn't end up with any of the goods from the store, and didn't kill Lydia. Lilly thought she believed him. Then again, he could just be making them waste their time looking up the other two people involved in the robbery while he got together his escape plan. They hadn't had enough to hold him overnight, so they'd let him go home with an admonishment to stay in the state. Of course, words were only as decent as the ears they fell on, and he could be out and gone by the time she woke up tomorrow morning.
"Hey." Lil saw her own home number on the caller ID, forewent the official phone greeting.
"Hey. You nearly done?" As always, he sounded relaxed, and Lilly could almost see him in her mind; socked feet draped over the end of the couch, the cats curled up next to him. Despite their wariness around most people, they were remarkably cosy with Ray. Lilly didn't know whether to take it as a sign or not.
"Yeah. Just gotta finish up some notes."
"Hm." There was a silence, and Lil let it grow between them as she tucked the phone between cheek and shoulder so she could use both hands to flick through to the right part of the file. Looking onto the quick handwritten notes she'd scrawled down to jog her memory, she started writing.
"Did you call just so you could listen to me breathing?" Lil kept her voice down, noticing Scotty looking over at her from his desk. Ray laughed, his deep chuckle making her smile before he got back to being serious.
"I just wanted to check… Not avoiding me…" He'd already tried to call once that day, but Lil had been in the interview room, away from her phone. She'd noticed the missed call, but hadn't gotten around to calling him back yet.
"No. Just busy." Another silence grew before he broke it again.
"Well, I'll see you tonight."
"Mhm." Lil started on the second paragraph, pausing to read through her notes again.
"Love you." His words made her stop, smile her first smile of the day. She'd been on edge since last night's session of truth, and for some reason his simple avowal eased her nerves a little.
"'Bye." Lilly flipped her phone shut and let her smile linger before looking back down at the half written report. Suddenly, she didn't want to be here. She had Ray waiting at home for her, probably with last night's lasagne. Tonight, she might be able to stomach it.
Lilly sighed, flexing her fingers around the pen. One more paragraph would probably encompass the most pertinent points of the interview. As long as she included the names he'd given them, and what he'd said about the robbery she'd be covered. Besides, she had to remind herself; every line she wrote, every statement they untangled got them closer to finding Lydia's killer.
Scotty kept his eyes flicked over to Lilly for a few moments after she hung up. He hadn't heard much of her conversation, but the smile was enough for him to guess who it was. She'd been quieter than usual all day, annoyingly silent on the car ride to bring in the boyfriend, less pushy than usual with the witness, generally in a state barely removed from gloominess. Even if Ray hadn't said anything, Scotty would have picked up on the undercurrent of sadness. He was reminded of when she broke up with Kite; she'd been as quiet then, reluctant to impart anything. But if Ray was leaving, he didn't know why she'd smile when he was on the other end, why the origin of her depression would leave such a lightness on her face long after she hung up on his call.
"I'm gonna go. See you tomorrow?" In the time it had taken him to consider his partner's inner workings; a veritable impossibility to figure out, but something he taunted himself with occasionally, she'd finished up writing her version of the interview and was putting everything in her bag, ready to go home.
"Yeah, sure. Lil…" Scotty let his voice trail off, and she looked up at him, an eyebrow arched.
"Hm?" It was now or never that he asked her; with Lilly there was no yesterday, no history if she could help it. Whatever had been bothering her today, however, would have him wondering for days, and if he didn't at least ask…
"You okay? I mean… Something happen last night? You've been a little preoccupied today." She held his gaze for a second before dropping her eyes to her bag, fastening it.
"I'm fine, Scotty." She fiddled with her bag strap as if she wanted to say more, and Scotty waited. As usual, though, she sealed the walls, kept herself in seclusion and revealed nothing more to him.
"I'll see you tomorrow." Her bag was on her shoulder, and she was checking her gun out of the cage while he could do nothing more than nod her goodbye and wonder. As always, with anything to do with Lilly, he'd wonder.
It felt like last night; the house lit before she was home, the key turning in the lock to reveal the television's soft background burbling. There was no smell of lasagne though, and Lilly furrowed her brow as she walked in, wondering what they were going to have for dinner.
"Hey." She had the door closed and locked and her scarf and jacket hung on the coat rack before Ray put in an appearance, appearing at the bottom of the stairs.
"Hey. No reheated lasagne?" Lilly asked, looking over at him. They still hadn't worked anything out, including their nightly greeting. Once, she'd have walked through the door and they'd have been all over each other. Now, though, they couldn't claim teenage libidos and she stayed on her side of the room, letting him cross the floor to get closer to her.
"Thought you might feel like something else." As if on cue, the doorbell rang, and Lilly turned and opened the door to find a pizza guy, shirt alarmingly red, steaming pizza held out like a peace offering. Ray handed him a few notes and grabbed the pizza.
"You ordered pizza?" Lilly smiled, shook her head. It used to be their staple diet, when they could actually afford to get pizza. Most of the time they'd lived off hot chips and the bottomless cups of coffee that roadside diners offered.
"Not just any pizza. Double pepperoni with olives and three different types of cheese." Ray looked pleased with himself as he set the box on the coffee table in front of the television and sank onto a couch.
"Mm. I'm gonna get changed. Don't eat it all before I'm back."
Lilly came back down to find the pizza half gone.
"What, you inhaled it?" She reached past him for a slice before curling her legs up underneath her on the couch. She really needed to get to the Laundromat; not only was she almost out of suits, but the only comfy long pants she had left were some that Christina had left behind on her last hurried departure. She usually made it a rule not to wear trackpants with writing across the butt, but desperate times... Lilly was surprised anything had been left behind at all; she'd been sure she'd arrive home to find her favourite pair of heels missing rather than an extra item of clothing gained.
"I was hungry." Ray shrugged, reached for another piece. Lil shook her head, pointed her pizza slice at the tv.
"What's on?"
"Nothing interesting." Ray turned the television off, threw the remote down near the pizza box. Lil ran a tongue around her lips, clearing the grease from them.
"So…" Lil looked at Ray expectantly, waiting for conversation. He'd made the silence, he could fill it back up.
"You thirsty?" Lil stopped Ray from getting up to get them drinks as she nodded at him. She'd just barely managed to finish her slice of pizza, and she needed to wash her hands. As soon as she stood up, she heard the guffaw from behind her.
"Hot Stuff, hmm?" Ray laughed again after reading out the stitched on letters. Lilly turned to glare at him.
"You really want to challenge that?" Ray smirked, reached for the second last slice of pizza.
"Not considering I've never seen truer words printed on the backside of a pair of pants." Lil shook her head as she walked through to the kitchen.
"Hey, you remember that little motel we stayed at near Knoxville? Dodgy hot water, flickering lights?" Lil remembered, and she nodded as she came back, hands clean and bearing a bottle of water and a beer.
"Yeah." It was right before they'd driven past the small chapel, came back to park outside. They'd sat outside for an hour, until twilight changed into the deeper blue of night, stars pricking the sky and bleeding light overhead. Neither one of them were brave, or stupid enough, to get off the bike. In the end, they'd driven off again, idea postponed but not forgotten.
"We ate the same type of pizza that night. Thought I knew that recipe from somewhere."
"Recipe? You picked pizza toppings. I don't think it counts as a recipe." Lil twisted the top off her water, took a long drink.
"Cooking is creativity, babe." Ray popped the top of his beer and downed half the bottle while Lil sat back on the couch and allowed herself a smile. She was wearing pants that had hot stuff printed on the butt, and a man who may or may not be her boyfriend had just called her babe. She wasn't sure what it was about Ray that made her feel so natural, so completely comfortable. Even when she and Kite had been together for a while, she'd still felt tethered by his expectations of her. Ray had had expectations, but she'd vetoed them in a single sentence; I can't have children, Ray. Kite's expectation had been much lower, but she'd killed them just as effectively by lingering too long with a surprise midnight visitor. But Kite was history, and Ray was still here. They still hadn't talked further about the revelations she'd revealed; this morning had been filled with light conversation and Ray's suggestion that he get her a bigger hot water system so he didn't have to freeze when he got second shower. Admittedly, she'd had to wash her hair and she didn't usually take showers for that long, but when the water turned cold she'd heard the swear word all the way down in the kitchen.
"Did you go to your shop today?" Lil stretched a leg out, couldn't reach the coffee table, rested it on Ray's leg which reached the table with room to spare.
"Yeah, did a few hours of talking to suppliers, letting them know we can't wait for parts." He downed another third of the beer, smiled.
"Dudes on Harley's are not the type you wanna mess with."
"I know." Lilly let the right amount of inflection drift into her tone, and looked up to meet his eyes, making sure he got it.
"Hey, I'm one of the good guys." Ray protested, finished his beer.
"Yeah." Lil sighed, leant forward to get up for another beer.
"You make it sound like it's a bad thing." His voice was muffled as he rummaged in the 'fridge and Lilly waited until he was back, leaning against the doorframe, before she spoke.
"Why are you here?" She knew she hadn't phrased the question properly, but she didn't know how to adequately put it into words; why he was still around despite the fact that she'd rendered him childless. Of course, he'd told her all he needed was her but now, when it was feeling more like them; the pizza, the beer, it might be a different reality. She didn't want to rely on him being here if he wasn't going to be. And she didn't want him to stay because she was his last resort.
Ray looked puzzled, and Lil took a deep breath, pushed herself forward so she was perched on the edge of the couch.
"What are you still doing here? I mean, I know you say you don't want to be alone but…" Lil looked down, at her folded hands that had dropped to her lap.
"You've said a lot of things before. And now, the way I am…" Lil bit her lip for a moment, before she continued. She didn't want him to leave, but she knew she had to try and unsettle him. He'd slotted into her life too easily, too quickly. Sure, she'd known him for almost longer than she hadn't known him, but they weren't love struck teenagers anymore, and she wasn't sure she could cope with the effect of the break up this time around. Not if she let herself fall too far into his arms.
"Why me? You could have any woman… Someone who can give you a family…" She didn't look up at him until he perched himself on the coffee table across from her.
"I love you, Lil. I want to be here, with you."
"Because you pity me?" Lil searched his eyes, stood up as he started shaking his head.
"You just won't let yourself be happy, will you?" His voice was suddenly loud in the quiet room, and Lilly flinched, got up to retreat further towards the kitchen. Ray stood up as well, looking exasperated. He bit his lip, watching her. She looked back, wondering if she'd achieved what she was trying to do, but what she wasn't hoping for. That he'd get his keys, and his bag and ride off again. And that maybe, this time, he really wouldn't come back. It hurt that he was right, too. Happiness had been a rare emotion for her when she was growing up; any elation had been rapidly quashed so that it became easier to start out with low expectations. Easier, too, to neglect any bliss that might come her way. Being consistently despondent was easy only when she never stepped into the bright square of delight, realised how good it could be over there. Realised she was only happy when it rained, and that sunshine would disappear too easily into shade at the drift of a cloud.
"God, just…" Sounding resigned, Ray left the room. She heard his footsteps, swift on the stairs before she let the doorframe to the kitchen catch her as she slumped. Why was she so self destructive? He'd been in front of her, telling her he loved her, and she'd found a way to fuck it up. She didn't really think he pitied her, but she knew it would play on his pride. Sometimes, knowing how to push the right buttons, how to get to people became a curse. Entirely necessary in an interview room, but dangerous in real life.
The shuffling upstairs had ceased, and she heard him coming back down. He'd put his leather jacket on, and his other hand was shoved into the pocket.
"I wanted to do this under different circumstances, but since you're the same; stubborn as hell, I guess it'll have to be now." Lilly tried her best to keep a puzzled expression off her face. What, he wanted to take off when they were on better terms?
"Imagine stars over your head. Smell of grass at night." Ray came over to stand beside her, his free hand coming out to start at her shoulder, slide down her arm. He sighed, dropped to one knee and brought a small velvet box out of his pocket.
So I've made up a few words, according to the dictionary in word. Unbudged and subtexted (from the previous chapter) apparently don't exist. And trackpants are the same as sweatpants; it's just the Australian version of the word. Unless you're a real bogan and then you're likely to say tracky-daks, like I do.
So… Let me know what you think. I know there's few people out there who like Ray as much as I do but… Open mind, okay? Call it AU if it makes you cope better. Reviewers adored xx.