Y1: Friends?

Remus arrived at Hagrid's hut right on time, but it took five minutes until he worked up enough courage to knock on the door. It had a nice garden plot next to it, and Remus could smell a dog from inside. A moment passed. Now he could also hear the dog barking. It sounded rather large, Remus thought. He, obviously, did not have good experiences with large, fanged canines.

Another moment passed. Remus hoped that Hagrid was okay. He heard a crow caw in the distance.

All of a sudden, he heard a snarling noise coming from inside Hagrid's hut. He inhaled. A... Murtlap? Why did Hagrid have a Murtlap?

The door opened harshly in Remus' face, and he stumbled backwards. "Sorry, lad!" said Hagrid, looking disturbed. "I can't do anythin' righ' around yeh, can I?"

"It's quite all right," said Remus, steadying himself. "Contrary to popular belief, I'm not actually made of glass." That had come out a bit more sarcastic than intended, and Remus winced and changed the subject as quickly as possible. "Is there a Murtlap in your hut, sir?"

"Ah, no need to call me 'sir'," said Hagrid. "I never graduated Hogwarts, yeh know. Yeah, there's a Murtlap in here. He's angry. Watch yer step."

Remus walked into Hagrid's hut, taking note that the Murtlap was in the right corner of the room. It was walking in circles and snarling. Remus hoped that it wouldn't hurt him. "Why do you have a Murtlap, s-?"

"Righ' interestin', they are!" said Hagrid. "Jus' wanted to observe him fer a bit. Found him near the Lake. Take a seat! I made tea."

Remus took a seat. "Why did you want to see me?"

"Wanted teh apologize, firs' of all," said Hagrid sheepishly. "Fact is, I'm not very good at keepin' secrets. Asked Dumbledore to Obliviate me, I did—but Dumbledore's a good man, an' he trusts me more than he should."

"You seem rather trustworthy to me," said Remus. "All the teachers have been very kind. I'm sure you'll be fine so long as you're careful."

"Dumbledore told me yeh were nice. Glad ter see he was righ'—but Dumbledore's always righ'. Yeh sure yeh don't mind me knowin'?"

"Not at all. Far too many people know for my comfort already; what's one more?"

"Good point, good point. Tha's the other thing I wanted ter talk ter yeh abou'. We have somethin' in common, eh?"

"We do?" said Remus, even though he thought that he knew what Hagrid was getting at. Hagrid didn't smell completely human, though Remus wasn't entirely sure… and, frankly, he was horribly embarrassed that he could tell. Remus took a sip of his tea and immediately stopped drinking it. It tasted terrible.

"O' course! I'm half-giant, in case yeh haven't noticed. Some say it's rather obvious."

"I thought, maybe... but I didn't want to make any assumptions."

"An' yer okay with it, righ'?"

Remus snorted. "Someone like me? Of course I am."

"Figured yeh would be!" said Hagrid. He laughed loudly, and it hurt Remus' ears. "Point is, I know what it's like ter be a part-human in a world full of full-humans. If yeh ever wanted ter talk, I know what yer goin' through. Ter some degree, I mean."

"Technically, I'm not classified as part-human." Remus didn't want Hagrid to have any false impressions of his social status. He felt guilty enough that he was forcing his friends to fraternize with a werewolf without knowing the implications.

"Really? I didn't think yeh were classified as fully human."

"No, I'm not. For right now, I'm classified as a Being, at least, by some organizations. Not including the Capture Unit and the Registry. Human, though, is out of the question."

"Well, tha's jus' silly. Yer more human than I am in some respects. No one's treated yeh badly fer it?"

"No... some of the teachers are wary, but none of the students know. And Madam Pomfrey has been very kind."

"Good egg, tha' one."

"Yes." Remus took another sip of tea. "This is very good tea."

"Grow the leaves meself, out in the garden. It'll have pumpkins in the fall."

Remus rather liked pumpkins, and he told Hagrid so. Hagrid seemed to appreciate that. "How did people treat you when you were in school?" Remus asked, changing the subject cautiously.

"Not too well, I'm afraid. It's rather obvious wha' I am, though… nothing like you. Yeh wouldn' even be able ter tell in yer case. But kids teased me, yeh know. I had pets, though, and they helped me through."

"You said you... never graduated Hogwarts?" ventured Remus, and Hagrid went silent. Oops. "I'm awfully sorry if it's a sensitive topic; I won't bring it up if you don't want me to. I know how sensitive topics are all too well."

"I'd appreciate it if yeh didn't, thanks. But I will tell yeh that I was expelled in me third year. Dumbledore let me stay on the grounds as gamekeeper. It's a good life; I'm not complainin'. But I can't do magic… er, not legally."

"So you didn't leave because they teased you?"

"No! That's not a good enough reason ter leave Hogwarts! Bes' place in the world, it is. I didn't have many friends, but I got on all righ'! Anyway, I jus' wanted ter let yeh know that I'd be yer friend, if yeh ever needed one. I know how it is."

"Wow, that's... thank you." Remus was touched beyond words. "Hopefully no one will ever figure it out, though. I would probably leave if they did… I wouldn't want anyone to be afraid… or uncomfortable… or anything."

"Of course yeh wouldn't have to leave!"

"No, I don't think... I don't know how you did it. I can't stand the stares from the teachers, and I hate making people nervous. It's not as if I'm descended from a non-human like you are, I am the non-human." Remus briefly wondered if he was being offensive and amended his comment. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to undermine your troubles. But still..."

"I know what yeh mean. It would be worse fer yeh. Plus, nothin' ever happened ter me on the full moon. Didn't have that to worry abou' at all."

"That's good."

"I hear yeh get injured."

"Yes, but it's not unbearable. I can deal with it."

"Did yeh meet Fang yet?"

Remus shook his head, slightly discombobulated by the sudden change of subject. "No. What kind of dog is he?"

"Mutt. FANG!" Remus covered his ears involuntarily, and Fang came plodding into the room.

Remus brought his hands down from his ears and tried not to look into Fang's eyes. Fang brought back some unfortunate memories. Even the mere word "Fang" brought back unfortunate memories. "How long have you had him?" Remus asked, looking anywhere but Fang.

"Few years. He's a good dog. Do yeh have any pets?"

"Yeah, a toad named Bufo. I've had him for a little more than a year. He's probably pretty lonely, though; it's hard to take him around the castle. He seems pretty content to just stay in the dorm all day and hop around."

"I'd take him in when yer not usin' him, but I'm pretty sure Fang would eat him."

Suddenly, Fang pounced on Remus' lap. Remus yelped and promptly fell over.

"FANG, DOWN!" yelled Hagrid, and Remus fought the urge to cover his ears again. "All righ', Remus?"

"Fine," panted Remus. "Could you... get the dog... off of me?"

Hagrid picked up Fang, who was still refusing to heed his command. Remus shut his eyes and tried to rid himself of the feel of claws on his chest. "I'm so sorry! He isn't one fer trainin'. Still tryin' to get him under control. Sure yer okay? Yeh look shaken up."

"Yes," said Remus, brushing off his knees and standing up. "I'm all right. Just surprised me, that's all." There was slobber on his cheek, and he wiped it off with his sleeve. "Does he often get excited around visitors?"

"Yep; righ' suspicious, he is. Are yeh afraid of dogs?"

"No. Not usually. Just when they pounce on me," said Remus. He considered telling Hagrid why, but decided against it before the thought could even fully materialize in his head. "It's more of their claws, really. And I don't see a lot of them, either. My family never had one."

"Of course. Do yeh want ter hear the story of how I got him?"

"Sure," said Remus, and Hagrid jumped into the story, his eyes lighting up; Remus quickly discovered that Hagrid was an amazing storyteller. He put in plenty of detail, sounded excited and animated no matter what he was talking about, and was clearly passionate about the subject. In fact, sometimes he was a bit too passionate—but Remus, frankly, didn't mind at all when Hagrid accidentally knocked over his tea.

Remus stayed for another hour, hearing stories of Hagrid's old creatures and pets. He even told Hagrid a few himself—of the hexed trunk, of Dumbledore's Gobstones skills, and of Garrison the Boggart. Hagrid laughed in all of the appropriate places, and Remus felt quite at home talking to him.

Hagrid really did understand what it was like being an outcast. He talked of the stares from teachers, the names that students used to call him, and his embarrassment when he didn't fit at the normal-sized desks anymore. Remus could relate. Remus was thankful for everything done specifically to help him, but he couldn't help feeling ashamed that he needed it at all. He'd never been able to put it into words before, but Hagrid understood perfectly.

It wasn't until seven o'clock that Remus noticed how late it was and bid goodbye to Hagrid. "Thank you ever so much; I had a lovely time."

"Not at all! Come back again, Remus, whenever yeh'd like. I have plenty more stories!"

"I'm sure I'll have some too. Never a dull day with James and Sirius, you know."

"I'm sure! Bring 'em round some time, I'd love ter meet them! I'll make sure to avoid talking abou' yeh-know-what."

Remus realized only after he left that he and Hagrid had hardly talked about his lycanthropy at all. It just hadn't come up that often. He was sure he looked like an idiot, walking back to the castle with an out-of-control smile on his face, but he didn't really care.

Remus returned to an empty dorm. He supposed that James, Sirius, and Peter were still in detention. Remus didn't understand why they had caused so much trouble on purpose—it wasn't as if they had done it all for any particular reason. They'd just wanted to be funny, perhaps? And Peter just wanted to be accepted by James and Sirius.

Remus couldn't blame Peter. He often found himself acting a little different himself around James and Sirius. They had good intentions (most of the time) and treated him like a friend... Remus hated the thought that he would someday lose them, no matter what Hagrid said.

Sirius was incredibly judgmental—Remus couldn't blame him, considering the environment he had grown up in, but there's no way he would ever talk to someone like him. Sirius even dismissed Peter quite often, who had virtually nothing wrong with him (besides the fact that he was a little slow on occasion).

And James—James was a little more tolerant, but he seemed to care a lot about appearances. Why would he want to be seen around a werewolf? Both James and Sirius were quick to judge people like Lily and Snape just because they were affiliated with Slytherin. The "Dark House"…. What about a literal Dark creature?

And Peter... Peter. Peter had often abandoned Remus for Sirius and James, who were the more popular, more outgoing, more talented people. Remus had noticed how Peter's eyes lit up whenever Remus couldn't hang out with the three of them for whatever reason. Remus knew that Peter was fond of him, but wouldn't he jump to have Sirius and James all to himself? And no matter how sweet and kind Peter was, there was no way he'd choose a werewolf over the two most popular boys in school.

"What do you think, Bufo?" he mused, pouring some toad food into his cupped hand for Bufo to eat. "How long do you reckon I have before they find out?"

Bufo munched mournfully.

"Two years?" Remus asked. "Three? I can't imagine they'd accept my excuse any longer than that."

"Ribbit."

"You don't suppose they'll tell everyone when they find out? I couldn't bear it if everyone knew. I'd never get a job."

"Croak."

"I see. Well, thanks for being such a help," Remus grumbled. He didn't know how Hagrid had gotten by with only his pets for company. "I've got Hagrid, at least."

"Croak."

"And Dumbledore. And Madam Pomfrey. And maybe Questus. Haven't figured him out yet."

"Ribbit."

Remus sighed and began his homework. He couldn't seem to silence the thoughts of werewolves and betrayed roommates and being homeless, but he could sure as heck try.

James and Peter didn't arrive back in the dormitory until eight. Their faces were flushed and they were giggling. "What's up with you?" asked Remus, looking up from his Charms homework.

"That was... hilarious," wheezed James. "So funny. Pete, tell him."

Well, Remus thought, I suppose Peter and James are mates now. He couldn't help but feel a little envious, but he forcefully pushed the feeling down and smiled. "Is detention really that fun?"

"No, it was horrible," said James. "But... but Sirius..." he collapsed into peals of laughter once more, and Peter was desperately trying and failing to regain his composure.

"They made us write lines," Peter eventually forced out. James nodded and took over.

"I mustn't scream in class. One hundred times each. And Sprout was intelligent enough to split Sirius and me up so that we wouldn't cause more trouble."

"As she should," Remus interjected.

"Yes, and..." started Peter.

"Sirius warned her that he was an awful speller."

"With his upbringing? I doubt that," commented Remus.

"Yeah, but he said it anyway. Sprout said that she really didn't care. So she led Sirius to the next greenhouse over and walked back and forth between the greenhouses to watch us."

"And every time she went to check on Sirius..."

"Peter and I talked and splattered ink on one another."

"You are looked rather inky." said Remus. "I thought that you were wrestling the Giant Squid or something like that."

James giggled breathlessly. "Sprout knew something was up, but she couldn't prove it. We said that we were just trying to write quickly and weren't being very careful with the ink. Anyway, she eventually decided to watch us instead of Sirius, and then he..."

"He said he was finished with his lines!"

"So Sprout looked over his paper and it was just I must scream in class written a hundred times in a row!"

Peter erupted into giggles again. "But that wasn't the best part!"

"She asked him why he had done that, and Sirius told her that he thought that mustn't was spelt M-U-S-T. And then she asked why he thought that, and Sirius said..." James straightened up in an even better imitation of Sirius than Remus had done that morning over breakfast. "But, Professor, just look at queue. It's spelt with four silent letters. And benign and solemn. I don't think you can condemn me for spelling errors. Speaking of condemn, that one's spelt weirdly, too. The English language is almost as stupid as Peter is."

Remus ignored the insult—after all, Peter was laughing, so it was all right, wasn't it? "Professor Sprout didn't fall for that, did she?"

"Nope. Not at all. Told him to do it fifty more times—this time correctly. And then Sirius..."

"The ink splattered!"

"Peter, let me tell it. Sirius had cast a timed Ink-Reversing Charm on his paper. Dunno where he learned that one, but it worked..."

"Like a charm?" Remus said slyly.

"Shut up. But yeah, it worked really well. Splattered Sprout head to toe in ink—just came gushing out of his paper and onto her face! Sprout let us go early so she could chew out Sirius. I think she's making him do it all over. He probably won't be back till nine."

Remus grinned in spite of himself. "That was really very unkind of him."

"But you're smiling!" said Peter.

"Maybe we should do it to his schoolwork or something while he's gone," said Remus. He felt downright evil. But he knew that Sirius wouldn't really get angry if he'd been doing the same thing to teachers... and, in a way, Remus wanted to make his roommates angry with him. It was better to lose them over a disagreement than over a certain discovery.

"I've wanted to get him back for agreeing to your owl idea, too. I've got the perfect plan. Been thinking about it the whole detention." James stood up and grabbed something out of his bag. "I've been keeping this a secret, but I think that you two have proved yourself."

Remus hesitated. He didn't want to hear any secrets. "Er, how big of a secret is it?"

"A huge one. You mustn't tell anyone. In fact, before I tell you, we should probably take a pact of friendship. You know, a promise never to tell a soul and never to use this knowledge against me."

Remus froze. No. He couldn't get any closer to James, even if he was joking about the "pact of friendship". These were his roommates, not his friends. "Isn't this all a little too fast?" he said timidly. "It's only... what? Our second week?"

"Don't be ridiculous. Two weeks is plenty of time. I'm your friend already, aren't I?"

"You are?"

"Uh, yeah. Duh. Earth to Remus. We're on a first-name basis. I've heard you crying in the middle of the night. I have a nickname for you. We've pranked each other, played around, done lots of other stuff that I can't remember. You've seen me starkers. I've never seen you starkers, but that's only 'cos you're shy. We won't tease you, you know—you can change out here with us. Same goes for you, Peter."

"There's a lot to unpack there," Remus cut in desperately. "First off, that makes us roommates and acquaintances, not friends. Second, I wasn't crying. I only had a nightmare. Third, are you referring to 'Mr. Fragile China Doll'? Because that's not really a nickname."

"I don't agree, you definitely were, and yes I am," said James. "C'mon. You're our mate now. Do you not want to be friends? You can have more than one, you know. We're not barring you from hanging out with Evans and Snivellus or anything."

"I don't want to spend time with Snape," said Remus, wrinkling his nose, and James cheered. Remus shook his head in exasperation. "I just... it's too soon for secrets. Of any kind. I don't know you well enough."

"Well, we won't know each other well until we tell each other all our secrets!" said James, and Remus felt slightly ill. He was tricking them, that's what he was doing. They didn't really know who he was—all they knew was a story of a fake Remus. They knew Remus the prankster, who had an ill mother and a low pain tolerance, who was sheltered for no real reason and was good at magic. None of that was true at all. They didn't know Remus Lupin: Werewolf… and being friends with them would be tricking them into fraternizing with a monster that they didn't know at all.

"Do you have a dark secret? Because we'd love to hear it," said James, and Peter nodded his assent, eager to get the "pact of friendship" done and over with.

"No." said Remus, a little too quickly. Fiddlesticks. "Just... secretive, that's all. I mean, my personality. I don't have any secrets or anything. My mum. And all that. I don't like to share, you know that."

"Fine. But I trust you and I'm showing you my secret. It's not bad. Relax, mate. You're our friend. It's not like it's a lifetime commitment, either. If you don't like us, you can drop us like a hot potato and move on. Haven't you ever had a friend before?"

"One," said Remus, referring to Hagrid. "Mostly stayed inside. Took care of Mum. I'm not very social."

"Coulda fooled me. Well, you're our mate now. Sirius likes you too, and he hardly likes anyone. I'm sure I can speak for him when I say that you're one of us. You and Pettigrew—he got a detention for us."

Peter beamed, and James smiled at Remus expectantly. "Friends?"

"Friends," said Remus after a moment of contemplation, hoping that he wasn't making an awful mistake.

AN: Want to know my dark secret? There's currently a poster on my wall, and I haven't taken it down in a year. It's not because I like the poster (I actually kind of hate it). It's because I used the back of the poster to kill a large spider and I really don't want to have to deal with that. The second I take down the poster, I'm going to have to clean spider guts off of my wall and find a place to dispose of this very large poster.