Chapter 30: Setting Fire to the Dorm

Madam Pomfrey kept Remus overnight again for the sole purpose of observation. "Maybe you can leave earlier in the future," she had told him, "but even though you are used to all this, it is still very new to me and I want to be safe." Remus hadn't even complain that much, a fact of which he was very proud.

Remus heard Dumbledore enter the Hospital Wing at about eleven pm, and Remus lay as still as possible so as to hear their conversation. He knew it probably wasn't polite, but they were, after all, talking about him—so how bad could it be? There wasn't anything particularly interesting, though: Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey merely discussed Remus' health in hushed tones. Dumbledore, Remus noted, seemed to be very proud that his suggestions had worked so well.

Remus heard Dumbledore's footsteps (calmer and slower than the rushed footsteps of Madam Pomfrey) come closer to his room, and then he heard the door creak open. He pretended to be asleep.

Dumbledore walked over to his bedside, and Remus could feel his eyes on him like one feels a chainsaw hacking off one's neck. "That's a little creepy, sir," he said, opening his eyes, sitting up, and dropping the act.

Dumbledore did not look surprised, and Remus suspected that he knew that he had been faking it the whole time. "Perhaps," said Dumbledore. "I'll make sure to loudly announce my presence next time, and you can, in turn, loudly announce that you're listening when you happen to overhear a private conversation."

Remus went bright red. It was a good thing that it was dark. "I'm sorry," he said.

"Oh, don't be. I would do the same thing, myself. I'm glad to see that you are doing well, Remus."

"Thank you," Remus said. He didn't know what else to say. "It's a lot better than last month. And my hands are much better."

"I am glad to hear it. Did fixing up the furniture help at all?"

"I think so," said Remus. "Although... although I might have ingested part of the armchair."

It was dark, and Remus was looking at the sheets rather than Dumbledore, but he could feel Dumbledore's eyes twinkling. Almost hear them. Why did they do that so much? "I imagine that it wasn't as tasty as the food at Hogwarts," Dumbledore said.

"No, sir," said Remus, taken aback at the joke but instinctively retorting. "But I never was a fan of stuffing."

Dumbledore laughed, and Remus was encouraged. "Your sense of humor amazes me," he said. "I was never able to joke about the tragic things in my life." Remus wondered what sorts of tragic things had happened in Dumbledore's life, but thought it best not to ask. "I should get back to my office—unless you'd like me to stay and chat more...?"

"No, sir."

"I rather suspected not. And don't worry about the armchair, Remus. I shall fix everything as best I can before the next full moon."

"Thank you, Professor."

"It's no problem at all. Now go back to sleep, lest Madam Pomfrey will have my head." Dumbledore left, humming something gaily. Remus didn't recognize the tune. As he drifted off to sleep, his mind added a full orchestra to the tune, and a chorus, and harmonies... A welcome alternative to Greyback and windows, although some of the instruments in his imagined orchestra were dreadfully out of tune.

He left the Hospital Wing that morning with only a few bandages—one around his arm, one around his torso. Other than that, his injuries were so minor that they didn't even hurt that much when they brushed against his robes.

He nearly skipped down the corridor to breakfast. Poor Bufo was hanging on to his shoulder for dear life. "Sorry, Bufo," he said, "but I'm allowed to be happy."

Bufo gave him a disdainful look, which Remus happily ignored.

This was the best he had ever felt this soon after a full moon. Ever. And it was all the doing of the potions and top-of-the-line medical care that was now readily available to Remus. It hadn't even been a particularly wonderful moon this month. But he was feeling fine! Every month could be like this, couldn't it? Remus wasn't cured, no, but this was far closer to being so than he had ever dared to imagine.

He met up with James, Sirius, and Peter at breakfast, who looked overjoyed to see him. "Back from the dead!" cried Sirius, clapping Remus on the back. His hand nearly missed the bandage on his torso, and Remus winced. "Sorry, I forgot, Mr. Fragile China Doll."

"I thought Peter naming that rock Remus cancelled out the awful nickname?"

"Nope."

"I see." Remus sighed dramatically. "Well, thank you for your concern."

"Anytime."

"Are you feeling all right?" asked Peter anxiously. "Madam Pomfrey told us that it was a really nasty virus."

"I'm okay," said Remus, "although I would feel a lot better if Sirius and James stopped calling me a china doll." Remus stole a glance at the staff table. Madam Pomfrey, fortunately, wasn't there—Remus knew that she'd be monitoring him carefully if she was, and he was extremely tired of being monitored.

"What was it like being in the Hospital Wing for so long?" asked James.

"Boring," said Remus truthfully. "But... I got all my homework done for the next several months!"

"Great, now you can do ours." Sirius said, and Remus gave him a look. "Joking, obviously. We don't need help."

They walked to History of Magic together, laughing and teasing, and all the memories of the awful night in the abandoned building left Remus' head without so much as a footprint.

History of Magic was delightfully dull. Remus' hand didn't even hurt this time, so he filled out nearly a full roll of parchment's worth of notes. James and Sirius were fooling around, scuffling and poking each other with quills. Peter was snickering quietly.

Remus ignored them and dutifully took notes. For a werewolf, he thought, he was dreadfully well-behaved.

As they were walking down the corridor to Charms class, James suddenly pulled Remus and Sirius aside and around a corner. Peter, having noticed that they were gone, scampered after them, looking a little sad at being left out.

Why was Remus more readily accepted than Peter by James and Sirius? Try as he might, he couldn't figure it out. Remus had been more distant, less excited, and less fun. Peter was the one who watched James and Sirius play with their broomsticks... the one who wanted to follow them everywhere... the one who fooled around with them during History of Magic. Why did they still treat Peter like an unwelcome duckling trailing after their feet?

No matter. Remus shook the thought aside and paid attention to James, who was ranting about something.

"...learnt a new hex, it's brilliant. Watch this!" To Remus' horror, James pulled his wand out and shot green sparks at a random student passing by.

"What?" Remus spluttered. "What was that for?"

"I want to show you the new hex I learnt! And you were angry last time when we tried that hex on Peter."

"But..." Remus glanced at the random student, who looked like a first or second-year. He had frozen and was looking around, desperately trying to see who had cast the hex. The Marauders were tucked just out of sight; Remus wasn't sure whether to feel thankful or unlucky that no one had seen James. "What did you do to him?"

"Watch," said James gleefully. The boy looked down at his hands, studying them oddly, much like Remus did to his own hands just before a transformation. A knot formed in Remus' stomach. Suddenly, the boy's fingertips began to glow. Multicolored light shot out of them, casting lasers on the walls and floor and whichever way they pointed. The boy wiggled his fingers and looked horrified.

James blew out a puff of air—a restrained guffaw. "Isn't it great? It's like Lumos, but better! Think of how cool that would be on a dark night!"

"Blimey, that's glorious," Sirius commented, and Peter seemed too star-struck to speak.

"Why didn't you cast the spell on yourself?" Remus asked. "That would have been more than sufficient in order to test its properties."

"You sound like my mother," James scoffed. "Isn't the look on his face just priceless? I wouldn't trade that for anything, would you?"

Remus hated it. He hated seeing people being under magic hexes that they couldn't control, their bodies changing against their will with no means of stopping the unwelcome occurrences. He hated the fact that wizards could do things to each other without consent—without warning... James was laughing, but the boy wasn't. He was terrified. What's worse, he had been singled out—this was not happening to anyone else, and it wasn't clear that it was a prank. He was afraid, and Remus knew what that was like. He watched as the boy hurried off to the Hospital Wing, his hands firmly in his pockets and glowing through the fabric.

Sirius, Peter, and James were still giggling. Remus was not. "It's harmless," coaxed James through silent wheezes. "Come on, Remus, admit it... It was hilarious!"

Remus thought of James planning a party for Peter and forgiving Remus for running off. He thought of teasing James about his ego and James leading them on grand adventures under the Cloak. James was a good friend. James had done so much for him, and Remus wasn't fit to disagree with him.

"Yeah, hilarious," said Remus slowly. "It looks pretty useful for... parties and things."

"Knew you'd come round," said Sirius.

"That was incredible," said Peter. "Can you teach me?"

James' eyes lit up at the attention, and the Marauders sauntered off to Charms. James was babbling about the hex the whole way there.

The knot in Remus' stomach had not untangled itself.

Remus took his seat next to Peter, hoping that the stress-free experience that was Charms could calm his nerves and untangle the knot in his stomach (it was becoming tighter by the second, and Remus was beginning to worry about the state of his internal organs).

"Today, we will be learning Alohomora," announced Flitwick. "Does anybody know what it does?"

Remus raised his hand, feeling bold enough to participate, but Flitwick called on Sirius. "Alohomora is the Duplicating Charm," said Sirius confidently. "You know... Aloho-more-a."

There were a few titters—and judging from the look on Sirius' face, that had been his intention. Remus knew that Sirius was clever; he probably knew full and well what Alohomora did. "No," said Flitwick. "Anyone else? Mr. Lupin?"

"It's the Unlocking Charm," said Remus. "It's known as the Thief's Friend in some places. It opens doors that are locked, sealed, or otherwise impossible to open without magic. It acts as the counter-charm to Colloportus." Remus always felt very clever when he answered a question correctly. Look at that: he was a werewolf at Hogwarts, believed by many to be a dumb animal only capable of murder... yet he was a good student! Who would've thunk it?

"Very good!" said Flitwick. "Five points to Gryffindor."

"Teacher's pet," hissed Sirius into Remus' ear.

"Idiot," Remus retorted.

Peter laughed.

Flitwick didn't seem to hear them. "Alohomora is quite easily cast. All you need to do is move your wand in a slightly circular motion—counter-clockwise, mind you—and will the lock to open." Flitwick demonstrated the spell twice before Conjuring combination locks on each of the desks. "Begin."

Before Remus even lifted his wand, he heard two very fast clicks in succession. He looked at James and Sirius, who had just unlocked their locks. "Ha!" crowed James. "I got it before you!"

"Shut up, Potter," said Sirius. "What now, Flitwick?"

Flitwick looked rather confused, but proud nonetheless. "I didn't expect anyone to get it so quickly."

"Teacher's pet," Remus hissed in Sirius' ear, which earned him a very dirty look.

"I suppose you can help out your friends," said Flitwick.

"Right then, Remus," said James. "Go on. Try it out, you inexperienced young lad. It's okay, Sirius and James are here to help you. Try not to set anything on fire."

Remus felt a sudden burst of confidence. "Quiet, you," he said. "Alohomora." It didn't work the first time, but the lock clicked open on the second try. Remus was the third person in the class to achieve it! The knot in his stomach was still there, but it was lessening considerably.

"Well done!" said Flitwick, and Remus beamed.

Peter didn't have as much luck, and James and Sirius did not have the patience to stick around. They flitted around the room, shooting sparks at each other and laughing. Flitwick seemed to disapprove, but he did not attempt to reprimand them. It probably wouldn't do much anyway, Remus reflected.

"It's all right, Peter," Remus coaxed, watching Peter feel more and more left-out as he spectated James' and Sirius' antics. "You're better than that old lock."

"Easy for you to say," muttered Peter. "You got it second try."

"Ahh, luck," said Remus with a smile. "That's the most potent magic of them all, you know. Come on, Pete. Try it again."

Peter did so with no avail. Remus tried a new tactic.

"You know, this spell was invented by an unknown wizard, who taught it to a world-class thief by the name of Elsrickle. Elsrickle terrorized London, opening doors and stealing a bunch of things from defenseless wizards. Pretend you're Elsrickle."

"You want me to pretend I'm a thief?"

"Yeah." This strategy often worked for Remus, and he hoped that it would work for Peter, too. "Close your eyes."

Peter looked at him like he was mad.

"Go on. Close them." Peter did, rather reluctantly. "Now imagine it's a cool night on the streets of London. There are houses all around you, and it's dark—save the cloudy light of the streetlamps. You're walking through the town, pretending to be a normal passersby who fancied a midnight walk. It's a bit stupid to go on random midnight walks, if you ask me." Peter giggled, and Remus was encouraged. "You walk through the cobblestone streets and come to a tall house with rosebushes in the front. It looks like someone rich lives here, and probably very good at magic. It's all right, though, you've done this dozens of times before. So you walk up to the lock and say..."

"Alohomora," Peter said, and the lock clicked open. Peter gasped.

"Very well done," squeaked Flitwick. "Very well done indeed! Mr. Lupin, that was a very creative approach."

"Thank you, sir, but it was Peter's doing, really."

"That it was, that it was. Well done, Pettigrew." Peter beamed and flounced off to play with James and Sirius. "Lupin. Mind if I use that one with some of my other classes?"

"Not at all, sir," said Remus, the knot in his stomach entirely gone. "Thank you."

"You'd make a very good professor someday."

The knot returned as quickly as it had gone. "Maybe I would have," mumbled Remus. "Thank you."

Of course he couldn't be a professor. He'd never have a job like that. He'd never put students in danger. He probably wouldn't even be staying at Hogwarts for the full seven years, much less for part of his adult life. He was a werewolf, and werewolves couldn't teach. They couldn't be around children. They couldn't have a normal life.

He stood up somewhat suddenly and went to shoot a few sparks at Sirius.

He wasn't normal, but he could try to be. For now, at least.

That evening was relatively quiet. Remus sat and read by the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room, listening idly to the chatter of the other students. The other Marauders were out flying again. Remus had considered going with them, but the gash in his side often stung when exposed to cold air, and his bones were far too achy to be out freezing to death.

He heard his friends coming back down the corridor: he put his book down, knowing that they would never let him read in peace. Sure enough, Sirius, James, and Peter were entering the common room—but Sirius was holding a piece of cream-colored parchment. He was shaking, evidently livid.

"Remus. Come on," ordered James, and Remus stood up warily. What if Sirius was angry because he had figured it out? He hoped that Sirius had not figured it out, it was far too early...

James, who had apparently decided that Remus was being too slow, grabbed his arm forcefully and pulled him to the common room. "What happened?" Remus asked quietly, hoping with all his heart that his friends were still in the dark about his condition. He was glad, at least, that they were going to attack him in the dormitory instead of in public. The whole common room was watching now.

"Sirius got a letter. From his mum," Peter whispered in his ear, and Remus felt relieved. Then he felt ashamed for feeling relieved.

"Oh," he said, trying not to look relieved.

He knew it was bad when Sirius did not even bothering knocking out S-O-S before storming into the dormitory, something that he had been doing even before entering empty rooms. He flopped onto his bed and banged his fist on the wall several times. James awkwardly sat beside him, careful to maintain his distance.

"Oh, get out," said Sirius, directing his words (and his wand, threateningly enough) towards James.

"What?"

"Look, mate, you're great and all... but I don't need to see your pampered face. You're the product of two loving parents. Out. Now. You too, Pettigrew."

"We should stay," said Peter timidly. "We're your friends..."

Sirius banged his fist on the wall again, and James and Peter were out of the room in three seconds flat. Remus stood up to follow them, but Sirius shot him in the arm with some sparks. Remus jumped.

"Not you, Lupin. Sit here." Remus couldn't fathom why Sirius wanted him there, but he obeyed and sat next to Sirius. "I need to talk to someone about it. Been talking with James every once in a while, but he doesn't understand. He can't. He's got no problems; his life is perfect. And I can't talk with Pettigrew. Stupid oaf."

"Peter's brilliant," protested Remus, but the look on Sirius' face told him that it had been a mistake to do so. Remus quailed slightly.

"Shut up," said Sirius. "I'm angry and I'll call whomever I please a stupid oaf." There was silence. Remus was slightly afraid of Sirius, who was steadily calming down but still pulsing with anger. "You're good at talking about feelings and stuff, aren't you? You talked to Peter that one time?"

"I wouldn't say I'm good at it," said Remus. "If you recall, I got scared and ran away."

Sirius snorted. "See, that was just the perfect amount of joke. Not too obvious, but you cheered me up. You'll do."

Remus wasn't exactly sure what he was meant to do. Just... listen? His parents always carefully avoided sensitive subjects, so Remus' experience with this was undeniably limited. Remus had talked to Madam Pomfrey every once in a while, but unlike Remus, she was an adult and could actually fix things. Well, not everything... but still. What, exactly, did Sirius expect from Remus? "Thanks, I guess," said Remus hesitantly. "You just want me to listen?"

"Yeah." Sirius took a deep breath. "My mum..." His voice broke in anger, and he nearly choked on it.

"In through your nose," Remus advised, ever the expert on unwanted anger. "And out through your mouth."

Sirius obliged, and Remus heard his heartbeat slow. "My mother is a git. She thinks that just 'cos I'm in Gryffindor I'm a terrible person. She tried to raise me right, she says, but she keeps saying that something went wrong and it's all my fault and I'm nothing but a Mudblood-loving brat—I know I'm not suppose to say that word, but that's what she says—who has no respect for my heritage... among other things. Here." Sirius handed Remus the letter, who skimmed it, not daring to read every word.

Blood traitor... not worthy to be a house-elf in the Black household... fraternizing with the enemies...

Remus cringed. "This is awful."

"I know. Awful. I hate her. I hate her so much. You don't know what it's like, to be shunned by your own flesh and blood, to be expected to be exactly the same as them, but you're not and you can't be. I tried to be normal. I tried to be a Black. But I hate it. I hate fancy dinner parties and being good and never causing trouble, and now that I've gotten a taste of what life could be like, I don't think I can go back. Have you ever felt that? Anything like it?" Sirius' tone was pleading, and Remus understood the need for understanding and solidarity. He understood family troubles, too. He remembered all of the relatives who had left him because of his condition. He knew what it was like to some degree, at least... but he couldn't tell Sirius. Not like that, anyhow.

"My situation is... relatively similar," he said, the wheels in his brain spinning to come up with a lie. "My relatives on my dad's side. My mum's a Muggle, and they didn't like that. They're not like your family or anything, but they cut ties with him. They don't like me much for being the product of his... mistake, you know? Well, they think it's a mistake. And my mum has to be so secretive with her family that they've all left, too."

It was almost true. Remus was the product of his dad's mistake; only it was a mistake that had to do with werewolves and not Remus' mother. His paternal relatives had all been very supportive of Remus' father's marriage. Remus' mother was a lovely lady, and they all liked her very much. They'd only left after Remus had become a werewolf—Muggles they could deal with; murderous monsters they could not.

The part about Remus' mum's side of the family was almost true. No one had left from that side—not really. They all liked Lyall. But Remus' mother was careful to avoid contact with them in most cases, especially after Remus had been bitten... and she'd been so preoccupied with caring for a werewolf child that they had slowly drifted apart. Remus had never met his mum's family, though they occasionally sent birthday and Christmas cards to the Lupin household.

"Yeah, and you have other family troubles, too," said Sirius with a nod of his head. "Your mum. She's ill and all."

"Yeah," said Remus, not knowing what else to say.

"I'm almost glad that you've got problems, too. That I'm not the only one who's all messed-up. That's pretty horrible of me."

"Not at all," said Remus, who was more "messed-up" than Sirius could ever realize. "We can have problems together. It's easier that way."

"It sure is." Sirius was silent. "Do you know the charm to set fire to something?"

"Incendio," said Remus, lost in thought and not thinking about the implications of telling Sirius the charm.

Sirius repeated the word, and there was a whooshing noise as the letter from his mum caught fire. Remus noticed the fire spreading across the carpet and shouted "Aguamenti!" Water gushed out of his wand and the fire went out. He was very lucky that he had spent weeks mastering that charm. "Sirius! You nearly set fire to our dorm!"

Sirius snorted, and then the dam broke. Two minutes later, Sirius and Remus were lying on the bed, recovering from a spontaneous laughing fit.

"Tragic backstory buddies?" asked Sirius, holding out his hand for Remus to shake.

"Absolutely." Remus shook it. Even though Sirius did not know his actual backstory, Remus was glad that he had someone to share the load with.

AN: I checked this morning and I have nearly double the reviews that I had before. Holy mackerel. You're all absolutely amazing, and I thought I'd go ahead and respond to a few points that you made here.

First of all: I've been getting a lot of questions about Wolfstar. Given the events of this chapter, it's a perfect time to cover that. No, Sirius and Remus will not be in any sort of romantic relationship in my story. They're friends—very close ones, certainly—and there's a very unique dynamic there. But it's not a romantic one—at least not in my story! Mostly, that's because I'm terrible at writing teenage romance lol. Also, my particular characterization of Sirius doesn't seem to go very well with my characterization of Remus imo. But... yeah, mostly it's because I hate writing teenage romance.

Second! There are actually multiple people who asked me whether I'd be willing to put out a chapter every day. I LOVE the fact that there are people out there who want to read 3-4k chapters every single day, but I can't do that. Part of that is because my work won't show up on the recently-updated charts on this site if I update within 24 hours, and I really want to be up there :) And part of it is because I'm a paranoid, insecure coward who needs to go through at least three rounds of editing before posting anything lol. But yes, I do have 200 chapters written! I'll have to slow down sometime in the future once I have more of them out (I like having lots prewritten while I post so that I can go back and edit small details), but for right now it's gonna stay at 1 chap every other day!

Thanks again for all the great reviews :) This is such a wonderful community and it's so crazy to know that people are actually reading what I write!