A/N: Um…some of you guys seem to think that Serena and Darien found out each other's secret identities in last chapter. They didn't – I'm sorry if my writing made it seem like they did. But no, that little bridge has not been crossed yet.

Anyway…Chapitre Cinq est ici!

Disclaimer : If wishes were henshin wands, we'd all be Senshi.

Subject to Change

"Zoicite – report." The sound of nails clicking on stone accompanied the cold voice. "How goes your scheme with the lesser Senshi?"

"Almost flawlessly, Your Majesty," responded a silky voice from the shadows. "As you noticed in the footage of the last battle, Mars and Mercury were of absolutely no use to the Moon-brat. The only hindrance was that ridiculous cape-boy – if we could get rid of him, our path would be clear to avenge Jadeite and Nephlite. The moon-brat is nothing by herself."

"So dispose of him."

Zoicite snorted. "If only it were that easy, my queen. The problem is not in getting rid of him, it is in getting him to linger at the battle long enough to get rid of him. He always disappears as soon as the youma is destroyed, and all he does is throw those ludicrous flowers and twirl around that silly cane – "

"Zoicite." Danger lurked in that voice.

"My queen." Zoicite realized her garrulous mistake and bowed her head.

"Do I care about these petty thoughts of yours?"

"No, my queen."

"Finally, you say something intelligent." The shadow on the throne shifted. "Formulate a plan to eliminate the superhero florist, then report back to me when you are finished."

"Yes, my queen." Zoicite bowed and melted back into the shadows.

"Run faster, Serena ! You're going to be late !"

Serena glared at her cat, swallowing the last bite of the toast she'd snatched before dashing out of the house a few minutes earlier. "And whose fault is that? You were supposed to wake me up, Luna!"

"I tried," Luna snapped back. "But you were sleeping like the dead – not that that's at all unusual – but you were drooling and smiling...and muttering things…" Luna's eyes slanted craftily. "Were you having a good dream, Serena?"

Serena flushed a deep red and averted her eyes. Darn that cat for being so smart! And for waking her up this morning and interrupting her dream about Tuxedo Mask… Serena sighed and slowed to a halt in the middle of the sidewalk in front of the arcade, her eyes hazing over happily as she remembered all the mushy details of her dream… He had brought her a bouquet of roses and a Tuxedo Mask UFO doll like the kind in the machine at the arcade, and then he had bought her a triple scoop ice cream cone…

"ARGH! OUT OF MY WAY, ODANGO! I'M GOING TO BE LATE!"

Serena snapped out of her remembrance as a sinewy arm shoved her out of the way. A hand grabbed her by the arm before she could fall to the pavement, and yanked her forward down the path towards school.

"SHIELDS!" screeched Serena, finally regaining her voice and pumping her legs to keep up with his long strides. "WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA! You nearly cracked my skull open on that pavement, jerk!"

"At least there wouldn't be anything much to clean up," Darien retorted, not missing a pace. Serena twisted her head around to see if Luna was still following her, but that cursed cat had abandoned her somewhere between here and the arcade. "There's no brains in that cranium of yours to splatter on the sidewalk."

"I'm gonna splatter YOUR brains all over the sidewalk if you don't shut up," gritted out Serena, using her free hand – the one he wasn't holding – to bonk him fiercely on the head. She ignored the feeling of how soft his dark hair was, instead choosing to jerk her other hand out of his grasp. Then she darted ahead and turned to look at him over her shoulder, sticking her tongue out at him. "Last one to school's a mushy onigiri!"

In the First Period Physics Classroom:

"So…Darien…" Darien looked up from his Physics lab to see Asanuma surreptitiously sidling over to the lab table he and Motoki shared. "What's this I hear about you and Tsukino-san showing up at school together this morning?" The brown-haired boy flashed a sly grin.

"Really?" said Motoki curiously, leaning over from the opposite side of the table to join the conversation. "But that doesn't make any sense! Just yesterday they were at the arcade fighting like rabid lobsters!" (A/N: I bet twenty bucks you've never heard that simile before.)

"Well, something must've changed over night, cause they showed up just before the late bell this morning with Serena riding on Darien's back." Asanuma grinned at the shell-shocked expression on Motoki's face.

"WHAT?"

"Boys!" The teacher snapped from the front of the classroom, where she was writing lab instructions on the chalkboard. She tapped her foot menacingly; Darien flinched and cowered at the sound of heels clicking on linoleum. "This is Physics class, not Cheerleading Practice! We don't scream."

Motoki flushed. "Sorry, Ms. Karounen. It won't happen again."

"It better not. If it does, you'll find yourself measuring your momentum as you walk to the principal's office!"

"Good." The severe-looking woman turned back to her formulas. Asanuma and Motoki leaned in again.

"So Darien was…carrying Usa?" Motoki whispered incredulously.

Asanuma nodded. "Basically."

Darien snorted. His friend's heads swiveled around to regard him.

"You've been very quiet through all this, Darien," remarked Asanuma. "Would you like to explain this little event to us?"

Darien lowered his lab goggles, pinning them with a disdainful stare. "You two are pathetic, you know that?" Asanuma nodded, clamping a hand over Motoki's mouth to muffle the blonde's protest. Darien rolled his eyes. "You should get your mind out of the gutter, Asanuma. As if I'd ever like the Odango Atama like that."

"Why not?" Asanuma waggled his eyebrows. "Serena's hot."

Darien choked. "Asanuma!" He looked to Motoki for help. "'Toki!"

"Hey, it's true." Motoki shrugged. "Usa-chan's really popular among the lower-classmen. A lot of the upperclassmen like her, too. Heck, if I hadn't met Reika, I'd probably be a little hung up over her myself – "

"If you keep on like that, I think I'm gonna lose my breakfast," interrupted Darien with a grimace. "I can't believe you're thinking about the Odango like that…anyway, the only reason we came like that this morning was because we collided on the street – as usual – and we raced to school. I got ahead of her at the last minute, and she jumped on my back in a very futile attempt keep me from beating her. That's all. There was nothing romantic involved," Darien finished firmly. Okay, so Serena was cute, but he was devoted to Sailor Moon, and Sailor Moon only.

"Oh." Asanuma and Motoki looked disappointed. "That was all?"

"That was all."

"Man, you're so boring, Darien." Asanuma shook his head.

"Hey, why were you so late this morning, anyway, Dare?" Motoki inquired curiously. "Usually you're here half an hour before school starts and Usa barely makes the tardy bell."

"Uh…" Darien averted his eyes, scratching his neck sheepishly. "Ah…"

"Dude, you're starting to sound like the principal. Spit it out."

"WellIkindahadthisdreambutit'skindaembarassingsoIdon'twannatalkaboutit."

"What did you say….Oh." After a moment of bewilderment, realization dawned on Asanuma and Motoki's faces. They grinned. "One of those dreams, huh?"

"Not like that!" Darien exclaimed, turning slightly red. He tugged at his collar, muttering. "You two are such hentai…it's a wonder the police haven't arrested you yet…"

"Who was the lucky dream girl?" Asanuma waggled his eyebrows, then blinked. "Or guy?"

"ASANUMA!"

"Hey, I was just making sure!" Asanuma grinned innocently. "Although, come to think of it, if you were gay, you probably would've hit on me, since I'm so attractive and all – "

"Motoki," Darien whimpered, burying his face in his hands. "Make him stop…"

"Only if you tell us about the dream," replied Motoki with a smirk.

I can't tell them I was dreaming about Sailor Moon! Darien thought in a panic. Maybe if I just describe her…

"Um, well, it was a girl," he began, throwing Asanuma a glare. "And – uh – I don't know who she was, exactly, but she was…really pretty." Ha, talk about an understatement. He smiled, picturing Sailor Moon in his mind's eye. God, had it had been difficult to get up that morning! And then to wake and realize it had all been only a dream… "Bright blue eyes, huge smile, blonde hair…"

"Uh oh." Asanuma elbowed Motoki. "I think I'm hearing a frighteningly accurate description of Serena Tsukino. Is that what you're hearing, Toki?"

"Indeed it is, Asanuma."

Darien blanched, the ramifications of their words slamming into him like a freight train. Blue eyes, blonde hair – but it was only a coincidence. It had to be. The two were totally different! One insulted him, one adored him – at least, he hoped she did – there was no way! They couldn't be one and the same!

"Methinks our Romeo be suspiciously silent. Dost you agree, Motoki?"

"Verily, I do, friend Asanuma."

"I was NOT dreaming about the Odango Atama!" Darien bellowed suddenly, snapping out of his stunned speechlessness. "Never in a thousand years!"

"Well…" Motoki exchanged a glance with Asanuma. "There aren't any other girls with blonde hair in Juuban."

"Maybe he wasn't dreaming about a girl in Juuban," suggested Asanuma. "Maybe he was dreaming about Britney Spears – I mean, Britney Federline. Or Paris Hilton. Or Madonna. She's a good-looking woman for her age, you know." (A/N: Opinions expressed by characters in this story do not necessarily – or in this case, DEFINITELY do not – reflect the author of this story.)

Motoki looked at Darien. "Shall we kill him?"

"Definitely."

The two boys lunged. Asanuma shrieked. The classroom dissolved into chaos.

In the First Period Geometry Classroom:

"Jinaro?"

"Present!"

"Katuro?"

"Right here, Miss Haruna."

"Mihara?"

"Here…unfortunately…"

"I'll choose to ignore that last comment, Miss Mihara…Mizuno?"

Silence.

"Mizuno?" Miss Haruna looked up from her role call, eyes flicking across the classroom. "Does anyone know where Ami is?"

Melvin stuck a hand in the air. "She's here, Miss H, she just hasn't finished touching all the doorknobs yet."

"Oh." Miss Haruna grimaced but did not mark Ami tardy. The administrators at the school were all very sensitive to the bluenette's daily morning ritual of touching the doorknob of each door in the school.

"EEEK!" A shriek was heard in the hall, then a blonde head rocketed into the classroom. "I'M LAAAAAAATE!"

"And here is Miss Tsukino," sighed Miss Haruna, marking the said student's name to denote her arrival. "Miss Tsukino, I hardly need inform you that you are tardy…again."

Serena had the grace to look ashamed as she shuffled to her desk. Her skirt was slightly wrinkled and her hair was windblown, as usual, from her lightning-fast dash to school. "Sorry, Miss H… I guess this means another detention?"

"Normally, it would," replied the teacher tartly. "However, it appears that you already have detention – today, and for the next two weeks." Miss Haruna raised her eyebrows knowingly at her student. "What did you do to Darien Shields this time, Serena?"

Serena squirmed. "I might've…um…stepped on his foot."

Miss Haruna's eyebrows invited Serena to elaborate. The blonde squirmed more.

"I might've…been…wearing high heels when I did it."

Miss Haruna rolled her eyes towards the heavens. This girl… "Serena, I thought you would've learned from the Spring Fling incident…obviously, I was wrong. Well, sit down, and we'll start class. I'm sure Ami will be able to catch up…"

"SHIELDS! I was late today because of you!"

Darien rolled his eyes, turning around to look down at Serena. "When aren't you late, Odango?"

"That's not the point," protested Serena, pinning her hair up into loops with the extra bobby pins she had placed in her P.E. skort pocket. She was taking no chances with her hair today if they were doing gymnastics. "I COULD have been on time today, if you hadn't – "

"Hadn't what? Made you jump on my back?" interrupted Darien sardonically. "You were the one who decided to permanently damage my spinal column."

Serena blinked at the sarcasm that dripped from Darien's words. She felt slightly hurt – he had never been so mean to her before, in all their months of teasing– and extremely miffed. "Well, if you don't have a cat stuck up your butt. What happened, did your girlfriend dump you?"

"You know I don't have a girlfriend, Odango," Darien gritted out.

"Oh, yeah, stupid me!" Serena slapped her forehead. "Who would be stupid enough to want to go out with a heartless, moronic jerk like you?"

"Shut up, Odango Atama."

"Why don't you make me?"

"Just shut up."

Serena's lip curled. "Forget it. You're no fun to fight with when you're feeling sorry for yourself." She regarded him steadily for a moment. "I just came to remind you that we have detention today." She turned on her heel and walked away. "Jerk."

Serena spent the rest of gym class far away from Darien, which was a rather new experience for both of them. Despite their argumentative relationship, they usually always ended up together in gym class. Whether this was because neither Ami nor Molly were in the same gym class as Serena, or because of something else was a question that neither Serena nor Darien had ever bothered to ponder.

Darien was able to see, during this interlude, what Motoki and Asanuma had been talking about. The lesson that day was in archery, and a vast majority of the boys were offering their help to Serena, "accidentally" brushing their hand against hers as they showed her how to string the bow, how to hold the bow and notch the arrow, or how to remove the arrow from the target. It was sickening, really, watching all those lovesick males tripping over themselves to ingratiate themselves to her – Darien felt pity for the freshmen and sophomores awkwardly trying to gain her attention and contempt for the juniors and seniors confidently flirting with her. Idiots. Trying to make Odango fall for them – as if that would ever happen. The naïve little blonde loved everyone, but she loved everyone the same – except him, of course, whom she detested.

"Idiots," he repeated from the sidelines. Coach Etoukou had been informed of Serena's escapade with stilettos, and had gruffly told Darien he could sit on the bench till the foot was healed. Which it already was, of course, due to his handy-dandy psychometry, but he had taken up the coach on his offer, not only because it would have seemed suspicious if he hadn't, but also because he didn't feel like being among those fawning losers. Even if he could kick their butts from here to the moon at archery.

Darien sighed, leaning back against the bleachers. "And I was in such a good mood this morning." Indeed, he had been, after that delightful dream about Sailor Moon. And because he had been dreaming about Sailor Moon, he hadn't dreamed about that greedy psycho princess who kept commanding him to find the Silver Crystal. God, had it been nice to sleep a whole night without having to put up with that drama queen. "I swear, she sounds like something straight out of a soap opera or some B-list anime show." (A/N: Gasp! How dare I! Teeheehee.)

Darien sighed and shifted again, watching Serena's blonde head bob up and down among the sea of brown and black heads of her admirers. He shouldn't have snarled at her like that before. He had no right…and maybe he was just deceiving himself and trying to make himself seem more important to her than he really was, but he thought he had detected a hint of hurt in her voice after he snapped at her.

Usually, he felt extremely comfortable around Odango – after all, he didn't tease complete strangers the way he did her – but after that conversation with Motoki and Asanuma, he had felt uneasy, nervous, as though she might find out, or already knew, what the boys had talked about. He had felt unsure of himself, and he didn't like that feeling.

But he didn't like Odango, right? No, of course not. So there was really no problem. Other than the fact that she was currently mad at him for being a complete jerk to her. But that could be easily fixed with an apology…if he could bring himself to give her one.

"So how was gym class?" asked Ami at lunchtime, lifting the top piece of bread from her sandwich and drizzling hand sanitizer over the slices of turkey inside. "Did the coach try to recruit you again?"

"Ah…no," answered Serena somewhat absently, watching Ami place the slice of rye bread back over the layer of hand sanitizer now coating her turkey sandwich. "Uh, Ami-chan, are you sure that's, um, safe? Putting hand sanitizer in your sandwich?"

Ami gave Serena a strange look. "Of course it is. Don't you know how many different kinds of bacteria thrive in dead flesh like turkey meat? It has to be sterilized!"

"Um…okay," answered Serena with a delicates shrug. Ami was training to become a doctor; she knew best, after all…

"Well, anyways," said Ami, swallowing a bite of her disinfected sandwich. "Are you alright, Serena? You seem rather dejected today."

Serena sighed and put her untouched fried shrimp back in her bento. "It's not really anything unusual," she replied to her friend. "Just Luna complaining about how incapable I am, and Darien Shields being a creep. Nothing new."

Ami patted her friend's hand. "I think you do a marvelous job as a Senshi. After all, you don't see me or Rei dusting youma by ourselves, do you? And we'll find the princess when the time is right." She sipped some water. "As for that Darien, well, have you ever thought, Serena, that maybe he might have a little crush on you? Many boys use teasing to communicate to a girl that they like her."

"DARIEN! LIKE ME!" Serena leapt to her feet. "You're insane, Ami-chan! That jerk doesn't like me! And even if he did, who cares? Tuxedo Mask's the only guy for me!" She paused in her ranting to sigh dreamily. Ah, Tuxedo Mask…so hot… "Uh, what was I saying again? Oh, yeah – Darien doesn't like me. He doesn't like any girls – in fact, sometimes I wonder if he swings the other way – and even if he did, he wouldn't choose me. There's college girls after him, for goodness' sake!"

"Your reaction seems a bit violent, Serena, suggesting defensiveness on your part. I am forced to wonder if you like Darien."

"ME! Like that JERK! AS IF! I DESPISE him!"

Ami nodded wisely to herself. "Just as I suspected. Hatred – or despising, as you put it – is a form of mild to severe obsession, often suggesting inverse emotions buried within the host towards the person they despise." She scribbled wildly in a notebook that had suddenly appeared in her lap. "This will be PERFECT for my Psychology project!"

Serena gaped. "Where'd you learn that junk about obsession?" she demanded. "Not from your Psychology book?"

Ami adjusted her glasses, face tinting a bit red. "Well, actually, I might have gotten it from one of Rei's romance manga – but that's not the point!"

But Serena wasn't paying attention anymore. "You mean Rei has romance manga? And she never showed them to me? Oooh! I'll KILL her!"

The bell rang for fifth period to start, and Ami scampered off to her beloved Psychology class. Serena sighed and gathered up her books, then began to trudge towards Study Hall – which she also had with Darien. Understandably, she was in no hurry to get there.

Now, there were a lot of things Serena didn't understand. The quadratic formula, for example, or the electronegative properties of elements. But those were things that didn't directly affect her. Darien's words had hurt, badly, and she couldn't understand why. Why should she care what he thought or said?

The only answer available to her was that she shouldn't. That she didn't. She didn't care what he thought about her, the stubborn idiot.

"Serena!"

The small blonde sighed and turned, pasting a welcoming smile on her face. Making his way across the courtyard toward her was a boy from her gym class.

"Hi, Seiko," she chirped when he came within earshot. The eleventh-grader matched her pace as she began to walk once more towards her study hall classroom. "How can I help you?"

"Oh, I don't need anything," replied Seiko, pushing a couple brown curls back from his forehead. "Just figured you might want some company walking to class after Mizuno-san dashed off. Your study hall is next to my Trig class, did you know?"

"Really? I didn't," answered Serena in a bright voice, feigning interest. She didn't want to hurt his feelings; he was just trying to be nice. After all, he didn't know she was busy trying to ponder the mysteries of the universe and would have preferred not to have been disturbed. "Hey, before I forget, thanks for helping me out in gym today, Seiko-senpai." She giggled at herself. Go figure that one of my best friends is a champion archer but I didn't even know you had to string a bow!

"Always glad to lend a helping hand." Seiko grinned. "Hey, what's this I heard about you arriving at school on Darien Shields' back this morning? He your personal camel or something?"

"ARGH!" Serena clenched her fists. "Why does everyone keep harping on about that? I was trying to keep him from winning our race, that was all! It's not like everyone thinks – I do not and never will like Shields that way!"

"So you and him…?"

"There IS no me and him," replied Serena confidently, thrusting her chin in the air. "He's a total creep."

"Isn't he, though," muttered Seiko. Serena blinked. "Well, here's my class, see you later, Serena-chan!"

"Uh – yeah!" Serena forced a smile and entered her own classroom, head spinning. Why was everyone acting so weird lately? First Ami and Rei with their newly diagnosed mental conditions, and then Darien with his mean words, and now Seiko acting like he wanted to murder Darien…if things kept on like this, the moon princess would end up being Michael Jackson!

"Ew. Yuck." Serena shuddered, dropping her backpack beside her desk. Just thinking that makes me want to hurl. (A/N: Yeah, how do you think Darien feels? Ooh, speak of the devil…)

"Oy. Odango."

"Get lost, Shields." Serena spoke without turning around, keeping her eyes glued on her Geometry book. Miss Haruna had recommended that she be put in this class in the hopes that she would actually do some of her homework in it. But usually, Serena just used it to sleep – when she wasn't bickering with the Supreme Jerkwad of the Earth, that is."I've got work to do."

"Doing what, sawing logs?"

"You're an idiot, you know that, right?"

"Glad you took the time to notice."

"Well, it's pretty obvious." Serena sat down and picked up a pencil, still refusing to look at him. "Now, like I said, bug off. I'm busy. Go invent a new mathematic postulate or something."

"Odango…"

"What is so hard to understand about 'go away!'?" demanded Serena, hurling down her pencil and wrenching her chair around to glare venomously at him. "God, you're worse than all those boys in gym – just leave me alone, okay!" Her eyebrows flew up as she suddenly realized what she'd said – or moreover, what she's implied – by comparing him to those boys in P.E., but she refused to let her glare waver from his calm eyes, even though she felt a slight blush creeping up on her cheeks. Darn Ami for confusing her with all that crazy psychological romance stuff!

"Geeze, don't have an aneurysm, Odango," Darien muttered under his breath – though she heard, anyways, and scowled even more darkly – raking a hand through his black hair. He dropped down into a crouch beside her desk, focusing his eyes on her Geometry book. "Um…"

"What?" Serena snapped, crossing her arms. She felt vaguely uncomfortable – he was too close to her. He needed to move away. "Spit it out."

"If you'd stop being such a hag about it, maybe I could!" Darien snapped back. He heaved a frustrated sigh, forcing his fists to unclench. "Look, I know I was being a jerk today in gym, okay? So – I wanted to say sorry, cause I didn't have any right to take my frustration out on you." He stood quickly. "There. I said it." With that, he walked away, to the back of the classroom, where he retreated behind his world history book and didn't emerge for the rest of the class.

A/N: Whew. wipes brow I gotta stop there. That was a long chapter for me. I pulled back a little on the comedy, because I think it was detracting from the storyline, and now I'm focusing more on some of the plot…the next few chapters should be quite interesting for you guys because the Senshi's rather peculiar behaviors will be explained, and some, uh, amusing Darien/Serena scenes are forthcoming. teeheehee

So…tell me what you think about Darien and Serena's characterization, and also what you think of Motoki and Asanuma. (Real Sugar Baby, how was my dialogue vs. action?) Seiko, too…

Okay, Meg-chan, I came up with a dare for you. This one's pretty tame; I can come up with a wilder one if you like laughs crazily, but you know the infamous R breakup? Write a fic, as long or as short as you want, where Serena has dreams that Darien will die if she stays too close to him, and so SHE breaks up with HIM, instead of the other way around. I'll give ya a month! Ready…set…go!