Disclaimer: You know the drill by now.

Authors note: Thanks to everyone that reviewed, as I wrote his chapter I still wasn't sure if Neela will stay or go.

The PA system announced her flight was starting to board and she felt a sense of acceptance, She was leaving; for all her contemplating running back to Ray and spilling her soul out there for him to see or waiting for him to let her know he needed her. It was over she was going home, except it wasn't home anymore was it.

She had come to think of Chicago, as home and she knew London would feel different now, wrong somehow. It would take a long while to reaffirm the English capital as her place in the world but hell time was pretty much all she would have now.

She gathered her stuff resigned to the fact she was going forever, she'd never be able to return here without thinking of the things she had left behind.

He screamed across the highly polished floor of the airport, dodging instinctively through throngs of people. His eyes searching desperately for any sign of her.

Shit, he couldn't see her anywhere, come on she had to still be here.

His heart pounded in his chest, and he struggled to breath, not from the exertion of his run but from the cold hard fear that flooded through his body.

This was it if he didn't stop her now she would walk out of his life forever. It had been painful enough to keep his distance after Michael's death, and to lose her forever just wasn't worth contemplating.

There.

He saw her; it had to be her, a flash of silky dark hair through a dozen cattle like tourists.

"Neela" He screamed with no regard for his pride, he couldn't lose her now. Several people turned to look at him like he was crazy, screw them didn't they realise how important this was.

"Neela" He called again louder this time, undeterred by the disapproving looks in his direction.

Then he caught it, a glimpse of hope. She'd seen him; she was looking in his direction. It was her. She gaped at him as he ran towards her as hard as he could, nearly barrelling into someone as he skidded to a halt in front of her.

"Don't go" He struggled out trying to catch his breath. "Please" He added desperately, he couldn't bear getting this far to have her turn her back on him and still leave.

Her eyes met his calmly, tears already flowing freely, he knew that look she was going to hurt him again.

She felt the tears streaming unhindered down her face, if only it could be this easy, if only Neela the thinker would turn off her incessantly logical brain and let her heart do the talking.

"I...I can't Ray" The words felt too big, heavy in her chest. His face fell instantly hurt permeating his usually casual features, his tears came quietly unbidden. "I'm scared," She said as if it explained why she had to do his to him; as if it were a good enough reason.

He met her eyes carefully a brief flicker of what looked like anger firing into her gaze.

"You think I'm not scared" He asked incredulously "you think I'm not frightened that you don't feel the same for me as I feel for you, that one day you'll realise that I'm not good enough for you. You think I ever wanted to fall in love with you" His voice was a biting whisper.

She was stunned at the raw emotion oozing from him. He wiped bitterly at the tears that had streaked his cheeks.

"This is what you do when things get hard, you run away" He was right she knew he was right, she had turned away from a career as a doctor to work in the jumbo mart because it had been too hard, because she had been petrified of making a mistake.

She had gone back though she had overcome that fear and become a better person.

He was laying everything on the line here, telling her everything that had been pushed down deep inside. She looked over her shoulder hesitantly and he felt his heart slip, she was going to leave him anyway. His heart and soul poured at her feet and she was still going to go.

"What if it doesn't work Ray?" She asked quietly her voice barely audible.

"We'll never know if you leave now" He heard the words that came from his mouth but they sounded pure Abby.

Annie Dillard:

If we listened to our intellect, we'd never have a love affair. We'd never have a friendship. We'd never go into business, because we'd be too cynical. Well, that's nonsense. You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.